Prompt: What if in 3x24 Castle actually saved Beckett but he got shot, how would she react? Would he tell her he loved her? Would she tell him?

She couldn't quite believe it. He was gone. Montgomery was dead. And as they were carrying him down in a casket she thought about the speech she'd written the day before, during the night actually. She'd had a hard time sleeping, crying her eyes out. This morning Beckett had stood in the mirror for an hour, trying her best to cover up her lack of sleep, the red spots around her eyes revealing she'd cried. Now she was right there, standing on the podium, about to deliver the speech she'd spent the whole night writing, rewriting and writing again. She cleared her throat, looked down in her papers and looked out over the crowd, all gathered to honor the man who had given his life to save hers. Though, no one could know that. Taking a deep breath she started,

"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes." She quickly glanced down at her papers before looking up again. "Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us, there is no victory, there are only battles. And in the end, the best you could hope for, is to find a place to make your stand." She paused for a second, before she continued. "And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you," glancing back to Castle she hoped he would understand she knew he had been by her side through everything. "Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is..."

"Kate!" Castle's sudden interruption had her gut wrenching, he would never cut her off like that unless...

Then everything happened so fast. One second she was standing on the podium, the next she had been shuffled to the ground with a body on top of her. People were shouting all over and it took about two seconds before she realized what was going on and her cop senses came to life. She opened her eyes to find Castle's face looking down at her with clenched eyes and she immediately pushed him off her only to quickly search down his body.

"No. No, no. Don't be shot, Castle, don't..." her fingers met with something wet, and when she looked there she saw the red substance on her fingers. No. No. She looked up at his face again, seeing he was not clenching his eyes anymore. He was looking up at the sky with fading eyes. "Rick, please. Stay with me, Rick. Come on, keep your eyes open, please." She put both her hands on the wound in the side of his chest. Her eyes never left his though, trying to get him to look at her. She noticed the second his eyes landed on hers, their eyes locking like they had so many times before, and fear filled her. What if he... not him too! "Don't leave me, please Rick. Stay with me, okay? You can't... I can't loose you too. I can't..." her voice died out as her tears began to fall. "Don't go. I can't..." she cried out, and she could see his soul slipping away. "No, no, nonono, Rick, stay, stay Rick. I lo..." she was cut off when two pair of hands suddenly grabbed one arm each, pulling her away from him. "No! Stop! Let me go!" She yelled over the top of her lungs, didn't matter she saw the paramedics taking over her place.

The rational part of her brain knew they'd know what to do better than her, they'd know how to save his life, but that didn't stop her from continuing fighting against the two men holding her back, keeping her away from him.

"Kate! Kate! Hey! Calm down, they got this, they'll do everything they can to save him," Espo, or was it Ryan? Or maybe both?, said as they held her firm by her arms.

"No! Rick!" she yelled out, her strength disappearing in the same amount of time it took for him to be pulled further away from her.

Once the ambulance, with him inside, was out of sight her legs gave up and she fell to the ground, her knees hitting hard. Both her brothers sank down with her, trying to talk some sense into her, trying to get her to talk to them. But all she could see was the blood still on her hands. His blood. Rick's blood.

"Come on, sweetie, if you get up I'll drive you to the hospital," a woman's voice managed to cut through the haze over her ears. Looking up she saw the voice belonged to none other than Lanie, her best friend, who was currently standing bent down with her hand stretched out in front of her, offering her hand.

Before she could repeat herself Kate took a hold of her hand and let her best friend lead her to her car. Getting into the car Lanie took our baby wipes to clean her hand before throwing the wipes to her and starting the car. Kate looked down at the wipes, at the blood. The red, sticky blood that just minutes ago had been pumping through her partners veins. How's this even possible? Is this all a nightmare? Everything went too slow for Kate, her thoughts were circling around and around and she couldn't understand most of them. Wiping her hands she couldn't get rid of it all, her hands still stained with the red color and she wished she could just cut them off, didn't want the reminder of what just happened. The second they got to the hospital she ran out of the car, Lanie calling after her to stop, to slow down, but she didn't. She couldn't stop, her partner was in there fighting for his life and she couldn't... she just couldn't... she needed to see him, she needed to be with him, she needed to know he was okay.

"Richard Castle! Where is he?! Where is my partner?!" she yelled at the receptionist, even though the poor woman had done nothing to deserve the harsh tone she was giving her.

"Are you family?" the receptionist asked and Kate felt her frustration taking over completely, feeling like she would shoot the woman if she didn't let her in to see her... her partner.

Before she could pounce she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her back, and Lanie stepped forward telling her she got this. There was a sudden ringing in her ears, she couldn't hear a word her best friend was saying to the woman, had no idea what the woman answered back. She couldn't stop thinking about him. He'd taken a fonting bullet for her! How could he?! She felt so betrayed, betrayed by life! First her mom, then Royce, then Montgomery, oh god please don't let him be next. She felt her tears stream down her face like a river.

"Come here," the voice getting through to her belonged to Lanie, and she took her arm to lead her to a corridor where she pushed her down in one of the chair standing there.

"No, I need to..." Kate began raising but her best friend put her hands on top of her shoulders, holding her down.

"Kate, we have to wait here, there's nothing we can do, we have to let the doctors do their work."

"I can't... I can't loose him Lanie," she whimpered and she put her head in her hands.

"I know sweetie," her best friend whispered and she felt her arms going around her in a comforting hug. "I know."

She had no idea how much time went by, but her thoughts never stopped running. They had been at a funeral. Funeral. Was nothing sacred to these people? And why on earth would he take a bullet for her? You know why. A voice kept telling her. Just like you would for him. Yeah, but she was police! It was her job! Not his!

"Kate!" a familiar voice called and she looked up to see Josh running towards her in the corridor.

Oh no.

"Are you okay?! I heard about the shooting and that you were in the crosshairs." Before she could do anything to stop him he'd pulled her up and into his arms. Wrong arms.

His lips kissed in her hair and she suddenly knew exactly how wrong this all was. "No, Josh," she mumbled through her tears, pushing him away.

"What's wrong honey?" he asked, the nickname she'd told him thousands of times she absolutely loathed.

"Leave me alone, I don't... we're over," she stumbled across her words, knowing it was absolutely the wrong time and not the right words at all but she needed him to not be with her anymore.

"What?!" he exclaimed, stunned.

"We're over." She clarified with a strong voice and stern look, not wanting him to misunderstand any possible way.

He took her hands but she just as quickly pulled them back, not wanting his warmth. Wrong warmth.

"This is all his fault you know," Josh said with hurt and anger deeply imbedded in his voice. "If he hadn't opened up your mom's case they wouldn't have been after you, your captain wouldn't be dead." There was so much hatred in his voice that Kate had to take a step back before she found her ground and, very hard, poked in in his chest.

"Don't your dare! It's not his fault. Whoever's behind all this, that's whose fault it is! Don't be such a sore loser Josh, I was never yours to begin with so why don't you just walk away. There's no need to try and make this all about you," she said in the lowest, most threatening, tone possible. She had a gun and she was unsure of how far she could go if he continued those accusations.

To her utter relief he just gave her a hateful look before turning away and walking the same way he came. She felt her heart pumping hard, the anger still in her veins. It was not his fault. If it was anyone's fault it was hers! If she hadn't let him back in, if she hadn't let him in at all, he wouldn't be fighting for his life right now. It was supposed to be her in there! Not him!

"Where's dad?!" a sudden voice behind her made her jump and she turned around to see the red headed teenager come jogging towards her with the older redhead right on her heel.

Kate opened her mouth to answer but not a word came out of her mouth, to her relief her best friend could see it.

"He's in surgery right now, they're doing everything they can to make sure he's gonna be alright," the M.E. said with a small and gentle smile, though her eyes were filled with worry and sadness.

"What is your take on this? I understand you have medical training," Martha asked with fear clear in her voice, fear she'd lose her son.

"I'm not sure where the bullet hit exactly, but it looked like it took the right side of his chest, so hopefully it didn't reach his heart," Lanie said, and Kate tried to think back.

Right side. Yeah, that seemed correct. He'd had his back to the shooter, his front pressed to hers as he pushed her down. If it's been her that'd been shot, it would've definitely grazed her heart, if not gone right through it. He truly had saved her life. But why would he do that! He couldn't do that! If she lost him, she'd die too. Kate met the blue eyes of the younger Castle, saw how the teen somewhat blamed her for what had happened. She didn't judge those feelings, she had them too.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled on a broken voice, her eyes filling with tears again. She looked away and tried to take control, tried to make them go away. "It's my fault, he shouldn't have..." but Martha immediately cut her off.

"Oh no dear! This isn't your fault at all!" the mother of her partner opened her arms and pulled her in before she could process what was happening.

A mother's love, that's how the hug felt like, and Kate started crying. She didn't deserve it. It took about a minute before the older woman let go of her and pulled her granddaughter into her arms instead, the four women then sat down in the chairs, waiting for anything to happen. Kate had Lanie's arm around her shoulders, keeping her from standing up and pacing the corridor in anxiety, but also to give her the comfort she needed. As soon as her dad came he took over for her best friend, hugging his daughter close and whispering reassuring words in her ear, as Lanie decided to go see if she could find anything more out. Espo and Ryan came just a little after Lanie came back, both with phones to their ears trying to get to the bottom with everything. They told everyone the shooter was gone without a trace, and Kate wanted to scream and shout at the universe for being so rude to her and the people in her life. She was on her way to follow them back to the precinct but pretty much everyone, including the teen, told her she should stay in case the shooter came back to finish the job. Kate was surprised to see Alexis turn against her for her safety, thinking she'd lost the teen's respect the second her father was in a life-threatening situation because of her. Kate felt useless, not being able to do anything but wait. It turned out to become a long night, and even though several people told her, she refused to leave. She fell asleep in one of the chairs with her dad by her left side, Martha and Alexis to her right, none of them wanting to leave before they knew he was okay.

"Katie."

The voice that had woken her so many times in her youth was once again lulling her into the woken world. Her eyes fluttered open as she started raising her head from her dad's shoulder.

"Huh?" she looked around and the sudden realization of where she was, why she was there, had her immediately stirring wide awake. She quickly noticed both redheads were nowhere to be found and she met her dad's eyes.

"They came to tell us he's out of surgery an hour ago, and just ten minutes ago they came to get Martha and Alexis. I asked if there was a possibility for you to follow in but the nurses said they couldn't let you since you weren't family. Martha tried telling them you were but they disagreed. I told them to go ahead, that I'd wake you up and let you know. He hasn't woken up yet but they're enthusiastic he will soon, and they'll call you as soon as he does."

Kate felt her heart skip a beat, he was going to be okay. She sighed out in relief, he had survived the bullet, he had survived the surgery.

"Come on Katie, let's get you home," her dad said and she shook her head, how could she leave? "You're exhausted, and you should sleep in your own bed, if they call you to tell you he's awake you'll want to get some good sleep first." He tried reasoning with her and, even though she didn't want to, she eventually agreed. Too exhausted to argue.

To her surprised her dad did not only drive her home but he insisted on staying on her couch, saying he didn't want to leave her alone in case the shooter would get past the car her two partners had insisted on parking outside her apartment. She tried arguing she didn't need protecting, that she had more training than him and even had a gun, but of course her dad was as stubborn as her. It was the look he'd given her that eventually shut her up, the look that told her he hadn't been able to protect her mom and couldn't afford to lose his daughter too. And so she gave him the things he needed to be able to sleep comfortable, as anyone could in a hard couch, and then they said their goodnights. When she was, finally, alone in her bedroom with her door closed she let her eyes tear up again. Burying her face in her pillow to smother the cries she let it all out, silently hoping he wouldn't have any more complications. That he'd continue to survive. She hoped Martha and Alexis would be able to stay with him the whole night, just in case he would wake up and need to connect with anyone who wasn't a nurse or doctor. The crying didn't stop until she had fallen asleep with his latest book in her arms, the book that was about them. Now she wished she'd stolen one of his shirts when she stayed at his place after that Nikki Heat bomb freak. She wished she had packed that red shirt with her, the one he'd lent her because she had no clothes to sleep in, the one that had smelled so strongly of him. When she woke up the next day there still hand't been any calls or texts and so she decided to go to the precinct, her dad was hesitant to let her leave but she assured him she would be fine, that he could go home and that she promised to check in with him by the evening.

"Yo, how's our boy?" Espo immediately asked the second he laid eyes on her in the bullpen.

"I got a text from Martha saying he hasn't woken up yet but that nothing's changed during the night," she answered and she could see both Espo and Ryan let out sighs of relief.

"He'll wake up soon, how are you?" Ryan asked and she gave him a look. "Right," he nodded with his lips clenched to a line.

"Where are we with finding the... shooter," she asked, ignoring their concerned looks.

"Nowhere," Espo grunted and Ryan groaned, "absolutely fucking nowhere. Beckett, whoever these guys are, they're pros, not on the map. We found DNA on the sniper but unless we catch him we won't know who it belongs to."

Kate swore under her breath. How was she supposed to be able to keep her loved ones safe if she couldn't find the damn murderer who killed her mom?! How was she supposed to keep Rick from falling into the same fate as her mom? Damn it, she wasn't supposed to make herself cry again.

"We'll find him, Kate," Espo lowered his voice, only the three of them able to hear the sentiment he was allowing to show.

She simply nodded, couldn't trust her voice. The three detectives shook off their feelings and got to work, Kate was filled in with everything they knew so far and set to work. They wouldn't allow her going out, she could still have a target on her back, but she dug into the paper work immediately, checking every little bit of information and trying to find anything they could cross to her own mother's death, or even Montgomery's. Though the later one's was mostly done in her head, no one except their intimate family knew and she was determined to keep it that way. When the clock stroke 3pm her phone started ringing, and seeing Martha's name on it she immediately answered with a voice filled with worry.

"Martha?"

The next two words had her heart racing.

"He's awake."

A/N:

Hope you enjoyed this first part of this small fanfic. This small story will be three chapters, and I will most likely try and post the three with one day in between, so chapter two will be published not tomorrow but the day after that.

Also this prompt was given to me by naadjjja on instagram, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing your prompt, also I hope the rest of you enjoy it as well! I appreciate every review/comment and like/follow so if you feel like it feel free to leave one, also in case your new to my stories, follow me on twitter for updates on my writing (along with other random stuff) at LololovaX. Seeeeyyaaaaa xxxx