Duo is dead. I know this. It has been months since the funeral. Three months, four days, four hours and twelve minutes- thirteen minutes. He had died for me. Three bullets straight to the chest, the right side. The bullets were mine to take, to my heart. No one could survive that. Not even Shinigami, the God of Death, not even the wild, long-haired, violet eyed enigma who is Duo Maxwell. Was Duo Maxwell. Duo is dead. Dead, damn it.
It should have been me. The look, the fury, in Quatre's eyes when I'd said that as he'd snapped around to face me that day, tears streaming down his face, seared my soul for the second time. "No, Heero Yuy. Don't you dare. Don't discredit Duo's sacrifice by blaming yourself. He died saving you, yes. He died saving a friend. He would have done it for anyone. You know exactly how he is." He was right, damn it.
"Heero." I snap back to the present, turning towards Trowa. He, Quatre, and Wufei stood against the door to the command center of our ship, all looked grim.
I didn't need to ask, I could see it on their faces. "Well?"
Trowa shook his head. "We can't get out of this one." He said simply. Heero noticed Quatre's hand encase the tall man's, and the answering tightened grip. Wufei walked over to one of the couches in the Center. Duo had made us buy them. We needed someplace to relax when we weren't terrorizing fuck-ups, apparently.
We've accepted our fate, all of us. It's been this way since his death, we've all changed. Even Quatre and Trowa, who have something to live for, even Wufei, who would have seen this as weakness and strived to overcome it. Even me, the perfect soldier who would let nothing come close to his heart. That part of me had vanished the moment Duo fell.
No, that's not true- I suddenly realized. I first knew it was gone when he died. He'd wormed his way past my defenses long before that. Warning lights began to go off, and I look at each of my friends again. I would have followed Duo to the realm of darkness (I had never thought of death as going to heaven or hell. We were born from darkness, to the darkness we would return) within the day of his death if it hadn't been for these men, my comrades, my brothers. I don't regret dying, but I don't know about them. If they said so, I'd do everything in my power to get them through this alive.
Quatre saw the look, he's always known what's on our minds and in our hearts. I wonder if everyone's hearts and minds were as like night and day as mine. "No, Heero. This world doesn't need us anymore. There is nothing for us here." I knew 'us' was him and Trowa, and I knew he was right. At least eighty-five percent of the world wanted us dead. Half of that was because we were a threat, defender of the people, the other half because we would kill anyone for that. The remaining fifteen or so percent just wanted to use us.
Wufei spoke up. "There is no longer justice, nor even honor. There is no reason to remain."
I reached over and cut the alarms. Immediate silence filled the ship for a few seconds. Then the ship began to shake, loud booms shattering the silence. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, and gave up.
No you don't. No way in HELL. My eyes snapped open at the sound of a voice I haven't heard in three months. Wufei had snapped to his feet, Quatre and Trowa were looking in all directions. You will not die because of me. Darkness began to fill my mind, the booms caused by the attack slowly being drowned out by a… I don't know what it was. I began to fight it, Duo was here, we all heard him, I wasn't going to lose him again. An amused chuckle filled my mind. If that is what you want, Hee-chan, then stop fighting. That was the last thing I was aware of before the darkness took over, and the sound, the only way I could interpret it. A cry of joy and pain, rage and celebration.
ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß ß
The first thing I remember regaining consciousness was a muzzy feeling, peace when there hadn't been peace for three months. Then a panic, a wild fear that something important was missing. Duo. I struggled to a sitting position, eyes flying wildly around the room for the braided man.
"Be still, Boyo. You've just had a rough transition between realms." Came an amused, deep voice. My gaze snapped back to the doorway, where a man was leaning against the frame. He was seduction in every possible meaning of the word, body toned to perfection, light brown skin, raven black hair, gold eyes set in a face that went above and beyond handsome. He pushed himself off the frame and walked to my side. He moved with a masculine feline grace of a trained killer and a master of the dance floor. A grace that was very akin to Duo's own. "My wife has prescribed this for when you woke." My eyes snap down to the proffered cup of steaming liquid, then up to the man with suspicion.
He grinned. "Relax. If I wanted you poisoned I wouldn't offer it in a cup." For some reason, I believed him. I took the cup, and sipped the substance. To my surprise, it was good, and the muzzy-ness immediately eased. I finished the cup, feeling much back to normal.
Suddenly, I remember Duo. "Duo. Where is he?"
The confused look he sent me shred my heart in pieces. "He is being fussed over by my wife." And in seconds it was remade. The amusement was back in the man's eyes. "Women." He shook his head. "The moment their child does something dicey, they go berserk."
My mind was racing. 'Their child?', golden eyed men, 'his wife?' Duo's father? Where was this place, between realms… tea that works better than any medicine I've ever taken… I settled for a safe question. "The others? Trowa, Quatre, Wufei? They're alright?"
The man smiled. "They're fine, you're the first one to wake."
The last three months played through my mind. "Duo… died."
The amusement faded, replaced by an emotion Heero couldn't place. "No. He came close, but Jaenelle kept him alive. She let him go, but made sure if her son was ever mortally injured, he'd return here."
I closed my eyes, mentally processing this. The mechanical grip on my heart eased a little. "He's alright, then." It wasn't a question. I had others, like why didn't he come back?
"Hey, Hee-chan." I slowly opened my eyes and again focused on the doorway. There he was. In his own way, Duo's body was every bit as perfect as the man sitting next to me. The same three foot long braid of beautiful chestnut hair, heart shaped face, desirable lips, amethyst eyes that spoke and hid everything this man was. I drank up his appearance. It partially filled the gaping cavern that was my soul. The grip on my heart eased a little bit more.
"Mother night, Duo, quit blocking the doorway. You're as bad as your father." The annoyed feminine voice came from behind the purple-eyed creature. As Duo stepped aside, a woman stepped in. She was a more mature, more beautiful version of Relena. Long blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, the air of authority was similar. Then I caught sight of her eyes, and knew Relena could never match up to this woman. They were twin sapphire maelstroms, as telling and concealing as Duo's own.
She looked me over, and for a moment, I thought he felt something shudder through me, and the next instant it was gone. She turned to her son. "You can quit badgering me now. He's fine."
Relief flooded Duo's face. "Thanks."
The woman grumbled. "You deserved to sweat that out a bit. Hell's fire, doing something like that without a moment's thought. You must have gotten that from you're father."
"If I'm not mistaken, Wife, you were the reckless one." I had forgotten the gold-eyed man. The woman whirled around, setting her feet in a fighting stance.
"Oh really. Name one instance I have been reckless." She demanded.
If possible, the man became even more relaxed, which would not be my response to the human tigress snarling at me. "Hm… Well, there was that bit with Lucivar. If I remember correctly, you poured every ounce of strength into keeping him alive, wings intact. I believe it took you… three months to recover completely?"
"I knew exactly what I was doing." The woman snarled.
"Alright, then the time with Marien."
"That was completely under control." Her eyes were narrowed to slits.
"Fine, then there's me." The man smiled a lazy, arrogant smile. "The fact that you married me is more than reckless." He eyed his seething wife. "Would you like me to continue? Father and Lucivar have shared more than enough stories, not to mention the ones since I've been with you. There's the time you blew up Mrs. Beale's kitchen, and that time with you and Karla, and when you were a child, jumping out of the tower to get flying lessons, enraging a full grown Arciean cat. No, that one's not reckless. That's just insane. And then-"
"Enough!"
The man gave her an innocent look. "I was just getting started."
"Daemon." There was definite warning in Jaenelle's tone. I was beginning to wonder if the man was insane himself. I had no idea what an Arciean cat was, but I'm sure Duo's mother was doing a reasonable impression of one at the moment.
The man laughed moved to his wife. Snaking an arm around her waist, he turned her towards the door. "Come, wife, let's check on your other patients. You'll want to see to them before Lucivar and his children show up."
"Mother night." Jaenelle said weakly, sagging into her husband's hold. "You are going to keep them away from the kitchen this time, aren't you?"
"I was planning to."
"And the garden."
"That might be a little more difficult."
"Away from the kitties?"
"The 'kitties' don't need any help finding hiding places."
"Anything valuable."
"I was going to leave that to you."
"Mother night." She said again, and the door shut behind them.
I couldn't stop staring. An amused chuckle and Duo's voice brought me back to reality… or… where ever the hell this was.
"Quite a pair, aren't they?" I nodded in a dazed kind of way.
"They're your parents."
"Yes." I turned to look at him.
It took a moment to realize what I was seeing. "You're floating!" Indeed, Duo appeared to be floating, sitting cross-legged with his elbow on his knee and his chin resting on his fist.
His trade mark grin flashed. "No." He said imperiously. "I'm sitting on air. Floating makes you look so silly." I goggled at him. He sighed. "Trust me on this one, k, Hee-chan? You're not half as confused as you will be. To echo my father, just wait till the kids show up."
I grunted, marveling at how I didn't have a headache already.
Though the surprise was nice, because it gave me an excuse to stare at him more. He shifted uncomfortably. "So." The sound of my own voice startles me. "What is this place?"
"The Keep of Kaeleer."
I cocked an eyebrow. He just grinned. "A completely different world." He elaborated. "This is the Realm of the Blood. There's magic, giant cats, people with wings, dragons, unicorns, warriors, healers, people who weave magic into webs, not to mention a cook who could cleave you in two on a moments notice."
"I thought we had one of those on earth."
Duo laughed, and the sound released me. "Trust me, you haven't been scared shitless till you've been on the receiving end of Mrs. Beale's meat cleaver… erm… temper, I mean."
"So, dragons, giant cats, people with wings warriors, magic, webs of power, and a cook to stay on the good side of her temper. Looks like I've found my way into a dreamland." This was all very surreal to me.
Duo was looking me over, eyes scanning every inch of me. "You've lost weight."
Suddenly all the happiness at seeing my Duo alive and well fled.
"It's been a long three months." I replied, beating around the bush.
Duo looked away. "I'm sorry." He meant it, I could tell by the guilt in his voice.
"Duo-" he cut me off.
"I should have come back as soon as I was healed. I know that. I wanted to, all I had to do was say the word. I would have been back in a month, at the latest."
"But you didn't come back." I stated quietly.
Duo focused on the far corner of the wall. "No."
"Why?"
A shuddering sigh. "Because… because of you."
I stared. Because of me? Why? What had I done? I felt the walls build themselves up again, felt the old defenses settle back into place. I never would have guessed my heart could have bled.
"Why?" I said again, cold monotone inching its way into my voice.
"I thought… Relena, and my own…. I-" Duo shook his head. "Look, I need to go see the others." He was out the door before I could say another word. I sat there for I don't know how long, just staring into space. I was revived by a light knock on the door.
Duo's mother settled on his bedside, a look of concern on her face. "Duo looked upset."
My eyes are blank as they look up at her. "Because of me."
She frowned. "You asked why he didn't go back, didn't you?" I nodded dumbly.
"Did he tell you?"
I heard the trace of bitterness in my voice. "Because of me." I repeated.
She shook her head. "Yes, because of you. But you really have no idea why, do you?"
Of course I didn't. She pursed her lips. "Its not my place to tell." She looked away for a moment, then focused on the window. "I have a friend, Karla. She lived with me and my friends for the summers when we were adolescents. She would have stayed, probably, ruled her territory from the Keep for the most part. She wasn't like Gabrielle, or Kalush, or any of the other girls in the ways of an adolescent. I think I understood her the most out of all of us, for I certainly wasn't the same as anyone else. She'd never had an interest in boys. Most just wrote it off as the advances of her uncle that had shoved her back a few years. She left us when she reached her majority because she couldn't live in the same place the woman she had fallen for was happily involved with someone else, and happily making a life with him. She knew that woman could never return her feelings, and though she was happy for her, she would never be able to look at her without feeling she'd lost something important… a piece that would fit perfectly into a void of her heart. She left because she didn't want to get in the way."
I sat there silently long after the woman left, running her words through my mind, deciphering the meaning she'd put behind it. After a while I got out of bed and went in search for Duo.
I found him in a garden after a long time of searching. This place was huge. I stood in the entrance, just watching him as he sat silently, staring past the flowers and trees of the garden. Then I crossed to the bench he was sitting in, gravel crunching under my feet. He didn't look up as I sat beside him, so I joined him in staring at the flowers.
It was a long time before he spoke. "I guess I shouldn't have run off like that."
"Hn."
"Articulate as ever, Yuy." The dryness was back in his voice.
I turned to look at him, giving him a quirky half-grin. "Hn."
He just sighed. "I suppose you want an explanation."
"No." I shook my head. "I only have one question." With that I stood up and faced him. He looked up at me in confusion. "How in Hell could you have thought I would fall for someone as flaky as Peacecraft when you were everything I had ever needed?" There, God, I hope I interpreted Jaenelle's message correctly. Please, please let me be right.
Duo gaped. I held out my hand and waited. Held my breadth.
"You- You're serious." He finally said.
"Maxwell." I quipped lazily. "When am I not?"
He shook his head. "It never occurred- I never thought… Goddamnit."
He reached up and grabbed my hand, and I hauled him to his feet. "I'm sorry, Heero-"
I shook my head. "Don't. I am as guilty as you in hiding my own feelings." He looked overwhelmed. Which is really quite suitable. I am just as overwhelmed, and it has little to do with the present discussion. More like the place with dragons, giant cats, unicorns, and cooks with tempers possessing meat cleavers.
Duo blinked, then stepped tentatively into my arms, sighing as I enclosed them protectively around him. He rested his head on my shoulder and sighed, happily. I rested my cheek against the silky softness of his hair, and sighed my own contentment. Peace had returned and everything was perfect.
The air shattered into a million peaces as what sounded like a war cry resounded through the Keep. I stared wide eyed at the building, wondering what on earth could have made that noise. Duo sighed again. "Looks like Daemonar and Andulvar are here. Uncle Lucivar really is a coward, you know? Whenever Marien leaves him with the kids, he comes over here to terrorize the keeps' staff."
Another cry rendered through stone. I looked down at the chestnut haired man. "I can't imagine why."
He laughed, grabbed my hand, and dragged me towards the keep. "Come on, come meet my cousins. We'll do our best to keep you in one peace."