After my 18th birthday my mom let me to move out from the family house and have an own apartment. Your mom trust in you that you don't do anything stupid,so together you and your parents bought an apartment near the beach. My life went great,but one moment changed everything.

Flashback

It was a Sunday afternoon when I went to shopping at the music store. I needed cd's and stuff for my guitar,but the moment I stepped into the store I was frozen. It was full with screaming teenage girls,little kids and Big Time Rush.

I turned around to check the door and of course it was a huge poster with writing on it :" Big Time Rush CD autographing on Sunday at 2pm."

Of course it was today. I really needed to get the items that I came here for,so I went down in the aisles to get it but I bumped into something or should I say somebody?

He was tall,blond,eyebrows with beautiful big green eyes.

Me : Oh,im sorry!

He : It's okay,it was my fault, i didn't watch where I was going.- he replied with a cute smile.

I was standing there awkwardly,I didn't know what to say. He was so enchanted.

He began to say : So would you like an autograph? What did you bring to sign? He asked you holding his hand waiting you to give him something.

Me : No,no I'm not came from this,I just... *for a moment you completely forget what you want to say*

He asked with a raised eyebrow : Then what are you come here?

Me : I just wanted to get a cd and guitar picks.- I said totally lost in his green eyes.

He grabbed your waist and pulled after himself.

Me : Wait, what are you doing?

He : Hey! Calm down! I'm just helping to you! So what cd do you searching ? 1 Direction,or The Wanted or Selena Gomez?

Me : No,haha but seriously I just need the new Incubus cd, and get picks then I wanna go home, this place is too loud for me.- I said loudly trough the screaming girls.

He walked away then in a minute late he came back with that cd and picks.

He handed to you kindly : Here,I already pay for them so you don't have to.

Me : Thanks but you shouldn't.- I got off by him saying : no, you don't have to,just think that this is my present to you! Umm... *he rubbed his neck* can I get your number?

Me : Um..I... yeah.- you two changed numbers then he said goodbye and went back to his fans.

Wow,I just meet my crush! Oh my god! I'm a really huge fan of him, and I love their music too but I already have their album and my another favourite music groups new album just came out so I had to get it!

Flashback end

From then me and he dated a few times,then after 1 month dating he asked me to be his girlfriend,and of course I said yes. I love him more than anything.

And on every second friday we and the guys had a night out together,on one of our places. I get along with them pretty well, and they like me and we always have fun if we're together.

Me and Kendall had a great relationship,we told everything to each other,but I was not completely honestly when we talked about our secrets.

We date for a half-year when I moved in with Kendall's place.

I still remember, it's like it just would happened yesterday.

Flashback

The boys were out for the night or what they call it "boys evening", you were home,checking up your Facebook page.

You scrolled trough the posts when your eyes spotted something,it was a page,it's called : www/theloseroftheyear/ - you didn't want to open it but your mind had other plans, you clicked on it but you wish only if you wouldn't do it.

You couldn't believe what you saw,the page was full with photos about you but one really made you sobbing.

There were time when I was home,Kendall on tour and we bored so we sended naked pictures to the other. You thought Kendall deleted the picture but somehow it's still leaked out and now the whole world already saw you naked...it was humiliating,I didn't know who did it but it got me.

In a rush I jumped off from the bed into our bedroom's bathroom,grabbing the razor from the cabinet you slid down against the tub crying.

With fear you held the razor to your wrist and did it ...for 4 times...

You did a huge cut then you felt a bit better so you got up and put over your cut a towel while you was searching for bandages but the box was empty. You thought for a moment then it came to your mind that Kendall just bought yesterday a pack,and he just forgot to put out. Made your down the steps you became really dizzy,the walls around you began to spin. Immediately you lead against the wall and you continued your way down when you heard laughing from the hall,they were coming from the boys. They came back,much earlier than they said. Shit!

You tried to be go to the kitchen before they could see you but just as you wanted to go into the doorway you heard the door opened and their laughing went into silent,they all watched you. Kendall anxiety rushed up to you : OMG! What the hell you were thinking! .-he yelled at you,what made you sobbing even more than before. You collapsed into his arms,everything went black.

He laid down you on the couch while Logan examined you and cleaned out your cuts,put bandages on them,you laid on the couch passed out. Meanwhile Kendall with James and Carlos in his trail rushed up to the bedroom to find out what made you to do this.

Kendall was the first who stepped into the room and he looked around,searching for any clue with the boys. This was when his eye landed on the laptop.

He grabbed it and his eyes got huge when he saw the picture,the picture that you and him sended to each other,only to Kendall,not the whole world.

After 1 hour: The boys crowded around you,waiting that you would wake up in any minute.

Soon slowly you came around,sitting up but Kendall pushed you back : No,just stay there, you lost a lot blood.

You said not knowing what he meant : What? I didn't do ... then you remembered the whole thing.

You could just whispered out,looking down your hands : Sorry, Kendall I .. - you broke down into crying. Kendall hugged you and held you tight in his arms,

drawing circles on your back.

Kendall : I know,babe! It was my fault if I wouldn't ask from you that picture this wouldn't happen with you.

YOu : No, it wasn't your fault it was those fault who shared it on the web,not you.- you cuddled up ever more to Kendall's chest.

Kendall grabbed your hand and made you look at him : Please don't do it,never ever,if you hurt yourself it's hurting me,I wanna protect you.

But you need promise me to not cut yourself again. Promise?- he said seriously.

You nodded,glanced up the boys to see if they were mad at you : and you guys are not mad at me?

James : Why would we?

Carlos : That's impossible.

Logan : We love you,but seriously don't do it again! - he said.

You : I couldn't wish for better friends and a boyfriend! .- you gave a long passionate kiss to Kendall.

THE END

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