This is a sequel to Parent's responsibility. I suggest you to read that first so this one would make sense.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!

SWALLOWED BY LIES

Chapter 1
Replacement

Ed sat on the couch, his shoulders high and bangs hanging so they almost covered his face. He played with his fingers nervously and tried to avoid looking up. Instead of that, he kept looking at the blue carpet on the wooden floor and breathed in heavily, a smile rising on his lips.

"It must be really frustrating to you that I'm not really talking much. It's just that I don't know what to say. And I don't really like sharing my thoughts", he said and looked up quickly to see a young blonde woman with her hair pulled back on a tidy ponytail, that day wearing a red blouse and dark jeans smiling at him. He quickly looked down again.

"It's alright, Edward. You don't have to talk if you aren't ready to talk", she said nicely, writing something to Ed's files. Ed swallowed and took in a deep breath again. This meeting was probably going to be like all the ones he had had during the past 3 months. The three months after the accident. He scratched his neck nervously. He heard the woman laying the pen on the table again.

"So, tell me Edward, how have you been doing since Monday?" she asked. Ed looked up again and straightened up.

"Nothing new, really. Read some books. Practiced writing. I think I'm finally starting to get it. Reading's been fine for quite a while now but there's just something hard in writing, you know. I get nervous and make mistakes", he answered quickly and met the woman's green eyes. She smiled.

"How's it been with your father? Everything alright?" she asked. Ed put up a smile again, even though he knew his eyes were left dull.

"He's been supportive, I think…" he said, letting his voice fade as he couldn't figure out anything else to say. The woman waited patiently and Ed knew he should say something else too. If he just would've known what to say. He tried to focus on his messed up thoughts and tried to continue. "Sometimes I just feel like I'm not that welcomed. And he's having a rough time and it's my entire fault. He avoids talking about what happened before the accident. It's hard to find out anything about the me before. The Edward before."

"Why do you want to know what you were like before?" she asked again as she kept writing to the files. Ed let his gaze wander in the room.

"It's just that… it'd be a lot easier if I could be like I was. The Edward before was probably liked and loved. But when it comes to me… everything feels like it's forced, you know? Of course they say it's alright but I feel like I'm trying to take someone's place who has died. You can never take a dead person's place", he said slowly. The woman smiled at him.

"It's never easy, but what if you'd stop trying to take the place you had before? What if you'd try creating your own place? How would that sound?" she asked nicely, making Ed think of the question. He licked his teeth as he stretched his arms.

"I don't know about that. They need the Ed before. I don't want to take that away from them. I just want it to go to the way it was, no matter what it was like", he finally answered. "You don't probably understand and I can't really explain it."

"It's alright. What matters is that you feel that way. Does it bother you a lot?"

Ed looked up to her again. "Does what bother me? The fact that I try to be the me before?" She nodded and Ed let his shoulders rise again. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, you know you always have an option. Is there anything in particular you'd want to talk about?" she asked nicely again. Ed felt like he was interrogated. It made him feel really nervous and threatened. He knew she didn't mean that but he couldn't help feeling that way. He shrugged.

"Not really. My mind's pretty blank right now."

"What books have you read?" she asked. Ed licked his dry lips.

"All kinds of. Science. Novels. Psychology", he said as he looked at the clock. "But it's four o'clock already. I better go." He stood up and took his brown coat before pulling it on him. "I'll see you at Monday again."

"We'll meet at Monday. Take care."

"You too", he said as he slipped to the hallway and started heading outside, trying to be as invisible as he could.

Roy tried to read the paper in front of him. He did read it, the problem was that he was so deep in his thoughts that he couldn't remember the sentence before as he moved on to another one. He sighed and leaned back, making Hawkeye look up again.

"What is it now, Sir? Those have to be done by 18.00, you really have to do them. It's a big pile", she tried reminding him. Roy straightened up.

"Don't you think I'm getting more paperwork than before? It feels like someone's testing me…" he muttered. Hawkeye raised her eyebrows.

"I don't see any reason for someone to give you more paperwork than before, Sir. The Higher-ups aren't stupid enough to try to get on your nerves by doing that", she answered. "At least I think so. But you never know it."

Roy tried to get back to reading the paper but couldn't help feeling distracted.

For god's sake, it had happened three months ago! He should be fine by now.

He had thought he could handle this. He thought he could handle being a parent. Being the parent of Ed. Maybe he would've succeeded in it, but now Ed was so… different. Roy hadn't ever been that much into kids. Ed had been a soft spot. The Ed before.

Alright, he should stop it right there. The Ed before was just Fullmetal, his subordinate and so a part of his family. Of course he missed him. It was normal. But he had a son now. He had this Edward. He was supposed to take care of Ed, not the other way around. He was the adult.

This Ed was his. The other one had never been. The other Ed had called him 'Dad' just once. And it had been an accident. This one did it regularly. And he meant it.

"Sir, you really should get back to the paperwork instead of staring at the wall", Hawkeye sighed and Roy realised he had put the papers on the table in his thoughts again and started leaning back. He blinked for a few times and took the papers in his hands again.

After a while he signed the paper, already forgotten what it had been about. He should really concentrate. He wasn't going to get promoted by signing the wrong papers. His chances to become the Fuhrer were slim already; he didn't need to worsen them.

After an hour he had signed the papers. Hawkeye raised her head, her paperwork done long ago as she polished her gun. "You ready, Sir?"

"Yes, lieutenant. You can take the papers forward. What time is it?" he asked as he stood up himself and took a few files from the shelf on his right.

"It's 17.50, Sir. What should I do after I've taken these files away?" she asked. Roy sighed as he dropped the files to his desk.

"Make sure the others make their jobs as well. Second lieutenant Breda came to work today half asleep. I don't want to hear complaints about his unfinished work", he said. "And could you please bring me some coffee?"

"I'm not a secretary, Sir", Hawkeye noted strictly. Roy smiled.

"The last one was a friendly suggestion. A favour."

She smiled. "Of course Colonel. But next time you'll have to get the coffee by yourself."

"Copy that. You're dismissed", he said and listened as she closed the door. He opened the first files. His researches from this year. The control was coming and he needed to go through his material to make sure he was going to pass it. He couldn't handle losing his job right now. Not only did he have to take care of himself, but he also had Ed to look after. Ed's future was in his hands.

He looked out of the window to the grey clouds. It'd probably rain soon. Hopefully Ed would have an umbrella with him.

Ed pulled his coat better on and sniffed as he stepped out of the library with a new stack of books. He walked the stairs down and looked up at the sky, sighing as he felt an almost melted snowflake falling on his forehead. Just great.

He made sure the books were safe and started walking towards the Headquarters as he looked at the streets. Nothing was quiet in Central and now, like almost all the time, the streets were crowded by citizens, most of them cursing for the weather. Some kids ran past him, making him stop so they wouldn't collide, screaming out of joy and trying to catch them with their hands. Ed sighed.

He hadn't really been into Winter and as the snow had started melting he had been glad to get rid of it. And Winter ending meant Spring coming. Another season he'd see. He'd been told that spring was beautiful and fresh and he really looked forward to it. And Summer, his father had told him that he'd get a holiday at Summer. They could go and travel somewhere. See new places. Or maybe old ones that he just couldn't remember.

A wet snowball flew right over his head and he heard an annoyed mother scolding his son that seemed to be about seven years old. He smiled to let her know that it was alright and kept walking towards the Headquarters. This was a part of his routines as he was confused what else to do. He looked at his watch to find it 18.30 and sighed. He'd be early again. Like any other day.

As he arrived he looked up at the closed gate and sat down to the bench next to it and pulled a book from his bag. An ordinary novel. For him they were pretty useful. He found out what people normally did and what he should cherish in this world. He sighed.

It was weird how often friends were mentioned. He had friends, of course. But none of them was his age. There was his father's crew and Elysia. But in a way they felt all like family. Did he really have real friends at all?

He rubbed his eyes and started reading.

"How was your day?" Roy asked as he stepped in Ed's room where the boy was reading a book. The room was tidy and on the night table there was a huge pile of books. Ed turned a page.

"It was okay…" Ed said as he kept reading. Roy sat on his bed.

"What did you do?" he asked, trying to put up a conversation. It wasn't right to leave Ed all alone. He was probably in the need for a lot of support right now. Waking up without remembering was always hard. That was the reason Roy had finally given up and put Ed to a psychiatrist. But it had been with one condition.

He had told her that she should never try to encourage Ed to remember. He knew it was impossible but he just wanted to be sure. Her job was to make Ed move on, not hang in the shadowy past.

Ed put the book on the table and curled his arms around his feet which he pulled against his chest and put up a smile. "You know, the usual stuff. Woke up, ate, went to meet Halie, visited the library, came to the Headquarters to get a ride home", Ed listed. "Did you have a lot of paperwork again? No missions?"

"Unfortunately. I swear I have more paperwork than I had before", Roy muttered. Ed kept his face the way it was but couldn't help a cold feeling running through his back. The way Roy said "than I had before" was like he loathed what he had now. Was it the same with him?

Roy petted his hair. "What are you reading?"

"A book", Ed answered. "It's a novel."

"What is it about?" Roy asked. Ed couldn't help noticing his weird interest. Either it was forced or Roy was wondering what he read and probably compared it to books he had read before the accident. Ed licked his lips slightly. What books had the Ed before read before? He didn't have the answer. When he came home from the hospital there were some books in the shelf but as he looked at them he couldn't recognize any.

"…It's about a cop who's trying to find boy who's gone missing", he answered. Roy smiled.

"Is it good?" he asked. Ed shrugged.

"It's… weird", he said. They sat in silence for a while.

"…I think I'll keep reading", Ed said, letting Roy go of the awkward situation. Roy nodded and left.

Ed looked out of the window to the darkening sky.

Oh, how much he hated darkness.

Light and at the same time heavy footsteps and the silent squeaky noise the door made as it opened woke Roy up, making him snarl as he felt something heavy getting on his bed and burying it's head in his left side. He sighed sleepily.

"Ed, you're too big to do this…" he muttered and felt Ed shifting uncomfortably and breathing heavily as he squeezed his shirt tightly. "What did we talk about this..?"

Ed sniffed silently and kept staring in the shadows, almost like frozen in fear, his eyes shifting from one dark place to another in a paranoid way. Roy sighed giving up and motioned for the kid to move away from the blanket so he would be able to cover him too. Ed obeyed hesitantly and after a while he was like glued in Roy's chest, Roy's hand curled around him, stroking his long hair.

"What is it this time, Ed?" he asked quietly, making the kid shiver slightly, like wondering what to say. Ed sniffed again and turned slightly away so Roy wasn't able to see his face. Roy felt like snarling but held it back as he waited for the child to answer.

"…I don't like nights", the boy muttered. "I don't like being all alone in the dark."

Roy sighed. Of course he didn't. During the few months he had had this Ed, he had been under a lot of stress. At first, Ed had been like a little child, not really knowing how to do anything or what he was and what he was supposed to believe in. Watching and helping him grow mentally with huge speed had been hard, but Ed's surprising ability to learn and remember everything had helped a lot. Roy wasn't sure if that ability had gotten better or if Ed just hadn't put all his effort in things he had done before the accident. He wished he'd know.

"It's just the dark time of the day, you know. It's not like something's coming from the shadows when you're unprepared…" Roy muttered tiredly. Ed didn't reply as he kept scanning the room with his eyes. Roy sighed. "It's okay, Ed. I'll keep guard while you sleep."

Ed shook his head but Roy turned his face to face his. Ed looked at his eyes.

"Close your eyes, it won't be that scary then. I'll keep mine open. If something imaginary comes, it has to go through me first. And you'll have time to run. Okay?"

"…Stop joking. It's not funny", Ed muttered and turned around. Roy rolled his eyes. They lied in silence for a while, Roy almost falling asleep again.

"…Before all of this… Did I ever come here at nights?" Ed asked silently. Roy grunted.

"Not willingly…"

"Does it bother you then?" Ed asked again. Roy opened his eyes but found himself looking at the back of the head of the teen in front of him. He wished he'd be able to see his face so he could read from his face if the question was important or not.

"No, Ed, you don't bother me", he said comfortingly as he brushed the teen's arm. Ed didn't move.

"…That's what you always say", he finally answered. Roy stopped and turned Ed around again, facing his burdened face. It was familiar… but still not quite. It was anxious in a different way than it had ever been before. This wasn't the Ed he had known for so long. This was another Ed.

But in another hand, this was his son.

But hadn't the other Ed been too?

"I always say it because it's the truth", Roy answered. "Just get some rest. I have work tomorrow."

Ed didn't say anything else after that. He just kept staring into the dark space before the wall as Roy soon fell asleep. His back and neck hurt. He wasn't sleepy at all. He usually wasn't at nights. He'd just take a nap during the long and lonely days.

The Ed before hadn't probably done that. Or even if he did, how would he be able to know if no one wanted to talk about him? They always said it was okay. They said he shouldn't have to try to be someone else, he should just take it easy and be what felt right.

But nothing felt right!

He breathed in deeply as he turned to see the white ceiling. He looked at the man on the other side of him.

Of all the people who said it was okay, that man meant it the least.

So there was the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I think it's a pretty slow start but I didn't want to rush it too much. And I wanted to show you the situation they were in, give the readers some thoughts they had.

I'll start working on second chapter when I get time. Thanks for bothering to read this, would you also bother to review? Thank you.