The dove with the broken wings
A/N I know that this is really dark, and I apologize for the strange layout this was originally a roleplay. This is a character study into the dark side of James Bond it features graphic non con and domestic abuse if that 's not your think don't read I don't want to receive abuse on this ok otherwise enjoy!
James was in the flat he shared with Q. He was alone with an almost empty bottle of whiskey; he had become quite drunk and angry.
Q is driving home from work, chewing his lip in worry. He had told James that he would be home to make him dinner, but M had held him behind to fix some gun protocols. He parks outside their house and quietly wanders in, hoping that James is already asleep.
James can hear Q coming in; he is late. Q walks into the living room with a bag of take away for them both. "Oh... Hi." He smiles nervously. "Sorry... M held me back to fix some guns." He goes to the kitchen quickly to plate up their meals, chewing his lip in fear.
James gets up and walks over to Q. He places his hand calmly on Q's lower back as he surveys the food Q had brought for dinner. "Smells lovely, Q." He gives him an affectionate kiss and smiles at him.
Q was confused; he had thought James would be angry. He smiles and relaxes. Q leans his head back and kisses him softly. "I got you your usual." He smiles and hands him his plate before getting them cutlery.
James pulls Q rather forcefully to the couch. He sits down and makes Q to sit next to him as he begins to eat.
Q gasps and his eyes widen. He curls up beside James and eats his chips; he wasn't that hungry. He'd been too afraid when he was buying the food. He chews on his chips and eventually murmurs timidly, "You're not angry are you...?"
James grip tightens on Q's arm and his eyes flash, "No. Why? Should I be, Q?"
Q gulps harshly; he hates when James won't use his actual name. "I. Urm..." He squirms very lightly, wanting James to let go of his thin arm. "Because I was late home." It wasn't his fault.
"So it was M keeping you back. You aren't secretly seeing another agent or a member of Q-Branch?"
Q's eyes widen . "Of course I'm not!" He looks up into James' eyes "I love you. You know that."
James slaps Q around the face. "Don't lie to me, Benedict!"
Q flinches and gasps, staring up at him with wide eyes. So he was angry then. He gulps and tries not to shake. "I... I'm not lying..."
"How do I know you're not lying to me?! How do I know when I'm on a mission you aren't sleeping around?"
Q sobs and stares up at him; he could ask James the same question really. "Because I wouldn't do that! I'd never do that!" He tries to wipe the tears away. "Why won't you believe me?"
"I've seen how the other agents look at you." James strokes Q's face, catching a tear oddly gently.
Q flinches away from his finger, but sniffles and looks up at him. "They don't look at me, James..."
James takes the plates of food and pushes Q down forcefully until he is lying on his back with James on top of him.
Q gasps and stares up at him in fear; he was still hurting from the last time. "James... Please. Not tonight... Please." He tries not to cry, not wanting to aggravate him more. James wasn't listening to Q as he pinned both of Q's wrists above his head with one of his, the other hand he used to undo Q's shirt. Q sobs and shakes his head. "James please..." He gulps and tries to pull his wrists free.
James picks Q up and carries him to their bedroom. He throws Q down and lies over him. He kisses Q roughly. Q whines and tries not to sob, trying to struggle away, trying not to cry.
James reaches down and unbuttons Q's trousers, pulling them down.
Q sobs loudly. "No! James, please. Please don't. I don't want this!" James palms Q through his boxers before pulling them down.
Q sobs, wishing he wasn't getting hard, but he is. He bites the pillow and sobs into it. "My little slut, look at you." James strokes Q's cock as he pulls his own pants down.
Q hides his face and tries not to cry. Shaking his head, he sniffles loudly, "James... Please..."
James pulls Q's legs apart and thrusts in, filling Q completely. Q screams out in agony, crying and trying to squirm away, sobbing loudly and begging James to stop. James begins a fast pace, thrusting in and out of Q. He holds Q's hips down, stopping him from moving.
Q sobs and cries out on agony the whole way through, trying desperately to escape, but James is just too strong.
James finally comes with one last brutal thrust. He cries out biting Q's neck Q sobs, and when James pulls out he curls up into his pillow, crying, trying desperately to ignore the pain, but even he knows that the muscles have been ripped. He is bleeding heavily. James gets up and silently retrieves a towel and first aid kit. He returns silently and, holding Q still, treats him.
Q whimpers softly as he cries, hiding his ashamed face in the pillow. Why couldn't he get away from this? Where did the love that James felt for him disappear to? James finishes and wraps an arm around Q. He wraps, (consider word change due to repeated word in prior sentence) a hand around Q's cock, stroking it gently to try and get Q off.
Q whimpers and shakes his head; he didn't want to come, not after all that pain, but eventually he does. He gulps harshly and nuzzles the bed sadly. James kisses him and falls asleep holding him. Q sniffles and silently cries the whole night, clawing at the pillow. Eventually, exhaustion takes over and he falls asleep.
He's like a zombie at work the next day. James had to go on a mission, he kisses Q on his neck, "I'll be back soon." Q nods softly and hugs him goodbye he leaves. He stays up for 48 hours making sure Bond is safe and knew all the right exists before he finally crashes and falls asleep at his console.
One of the interns poked Q awake. "Sir, are you alright?" Q doesn't wake up; his eyes move about under his eyelids, and mumbles Bond's name in his sleep. The intern persists and gently shakes him. Q wakes up 12 hours later to Bond standing over him angrily. "Oh..."
"Ben, what are you doing?" Bond grabs Q's shoulder and pulls him to his feet.
Q gasps and looks up at him. "I must have fallen asleep... I was awake over 48 hours... You got out ok though?" He smiles shakily. Bond kisses him and walks him over to the car. "My poor Benedict."
Q smiles. He thinks James isn't angry and he kisses him softly.
James pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to Q. "Here, I saw this for you." James kisses his cheek and strokes his back. Q looks down at it in surprise. He opens the box and looks up at James. "What is it?"
"A new hardrive and ring shaped as a Q."
He grins and leans over, hugging James and sniffling. "Thank you, James. It's beautiful." he doesn't normally like wearing rings, but it's ok. "Come on, let's go home." James helps Q into the car. He kisses Q gently before starting the car.
Q blushes and smiles shyly. He snuggles into the seat and watches James drive. Maybe things would be different this time. They arrive at the flat and James helps Q from the car. Q grins to himself shyly and lets him. He then cuddles him tight. "I missed you, James."
James smiles and kisses Q. "I know it was a long mission for everyone." Q smiles and takes his hand. "Come on... I'll make us dinner." He grins and kisses him again, happy that he is in a good mood.
James follows Q into the kitchen and watches him as he starts cooking. He makes James his favourite rice dish and manages not to burn it for once. He smiles shyly as he puts the plate in front of him.
"Here you go..." There isn't enough food for him, so he just has some bread.
James starts to eat. "It's delicious, Benedict." He kisses Q gently.
Q smiles and drinks his tea. "I'm glad you like it..." James finishes, and after washing the dishes, scoops Q up and sits them both on the couch to watch tv. Q smiles and snuggles into him. He yawns and eventually falls asleep; he had tried to stay awake, but he just couldn't.
James kisses Q's forehead before carrying him gently into the bedroom. He lays Q under the blankets and wraps an arm around him as he too falls asleep. Q is still asleep when Bond leaves in the morning; his iPhone was ringing but he didn't seem to wake to it. Q was late for work and M was furious. James was already at MI6 being debriefed on the latest mission.
Q gets home that night late; he had to stay behind to make up for the hours he slept in. He wanders through the door, exhausted and half hoping that Bond would cook him dinner for a change so he could just relax. James comes home with some takeaway. "I heard M this morning. How angry was she at you?"
Q shrugs sadly with a sigh. "She gave me a cautionary warning." He yawns, not wanting to make dinner. Bond passes him some takeaway. "Eat." Q gulps and smiles, sinking into the sofa happily. It was a curry, which he absolutely hated, but he knows better than to complain. James finishes his curry, smiling at Q tucked into the sofa.
Q eats very slowly, gulping down the food. He finishes it and smiles, taking a sip of James' beer to cool his mouth down. James kisses Q slowly, touching his hair. Q smiles and kisses him back. He pulls away after a moment and smiles. "I love you..." James never says it back, but he dreams that he will. One day.
James kisses Q more forcefully. He hates it when Q says he loves him; it reminds him that he has fallen for a man instead of a woman. Q frowns lightly and tries to pull away; he hates when James kisses him so forcefully. It hurts. James relents and kisses down his neck, stroking down his chest and trousers. Q whimpers and cuddles into him, smiling lightly. "Did you have a good day?"
"Reasonably good. M wanted to debrief about the last mission." James reached a hand into Q's trousers, stroking him as he kissed him.
Q sighs lightly and kisses back. He didn't want sex, he just wanted to chat, but James always gets what he wants. That's the way it works.
James unbuttons Q's shirt and kisses his chest, sucking on Q's nipples. He wasn't lying here with a man, he was with a beautiful woman.
Q whimpers and gulps. "James... Not tonight... Please." He's still sore; he squirms very lightly, biting his lip.
James pauses, not tonight please. He gets up, saying nothing to Q and leaves the flat. Q just stares after him, trying not to cry. He gulps and goes to bed, curling up sadly.
James heads to a local bar and had finds a woman. She's easy, all it takes are a couple of charming words and some martinis before she happily goes home with him. He knows Q is in the bedroom and thus takes the woman to the Guest Bedroom. He screws her hard and loud, reveling in everything that makes her female.
Q listens, his eyes full of tears. He sobs to himself, curled up tight, biting hard on his lip. Why would James do this to him?
Finally, the woman came; she was exhausted. James comes with a loud moan and rolls off of her; he spends the night with her. Q doesn't sleep.
The next morning he makes breakfast. He ignores the woman in his kitchen, drinking tea and waiting for James. He is so hurt. James finally emerges, he ignores Q and kisses the woman. Muttering to her, she laughs and after one final kiss, leaves the flat.
Q just drops the plate and starts to cry, looking at James angrily. "You're such a bastard." He sounds like he's in agony.
James grabs Q and slams him against the wall. "Yes, I am a bastard. Everyone knows that, Q. You ruined everything. I was straight. I fucked women, and suddenly you appear."
Q looks up at him in fear. He starts to cry "You just cheated on me and you're angry? I'm the one that should be angry!"
"I fucked her because she was happy to have sex with me and she was female." James throws Q face down onto the floor.
Q sobs as he hits the ground; he could feel the side of his face bruising. He sobs and murmurs, "It hurts when you fuck me!"
James doesn't hear Q. He pulls Q's pants from him, and after briefly sucking on two fingers, shoves them roughly into Q.
Q sobs loudly and tries to crawl away, sobbing and begging James to stop. James roughly thrusts his fingers in and out; he knows he is hurting Q, but that just encourages him to go faster. Q screams and sobs, kicking his legs about and screaming at him to stop. He sobs loudly and tries to get away, but James doesn't let him.
James is hard from watching Q struggle. He pulls his fingers out and flips Q so he is lying on his back. With a vicious thrust, he is inside Q.
Q screams loudly and sobs, kicking his legs. "No stop. James. Stop." He sobs loudly and keeps screaming in agony. James can feel his orgasm coming; he fucks Q hard, wrapping a hand around Q's cock, matching his thrusts with his strokes.
Q wasn't even hard. He gives up and slumps against the floor, sobbing loudly, clawing at the tiles so hard his nails brake.
James finally comes inside Q with one last hard thrust. He gets up off of Q and leaves him there. Q is left on the floor sobbing, his arse bleeding.
It didn't stop, and a few hours later, he limps over to the hospital. They have to stitch him up and he has to stay overnight. He rings M and she gives him some time off, but she begins to ask questions. She knows that he's with Bond. James had left the flat and ended up in a bard drinking; he was very drunk and ready to hit something. Q stays in hospital and worries about what M will say. He can't sleep. The hospital wouldn't let him use his phone.
James eventually stumbles home. He doesn't register that Q isn't there. He stumbles into bed and falls asleep.
Q wakes the next morning bleary eyed to M sitting at the end of his bed. "You have some explaining to do, Q." Q looks panicked.
James heads into MI6 completely unaware of what is happening to Q. Q refuses to tell her anything. He says that they just got carried away, forgetting about the deep purple bruise on his face.
When M gets back, she calls Bond to her office and looks at him with an eyebrow raised. Bond walks into her office and takes a seat, confused as to what she wants. She asks him a lot of questions, clearly very suspicious. She asks him if he even knows that his Quartermaster is in the hospital.
James denies everything, he had no idea Q was in the hospital, which was entirely true.
Her eyebrow raises. "He's in the hospital with rectal tearing, Bond. And you're telling me that you don't know?"
"Yes Ma'am. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I hope Q recovers soon."
She purses her lips, she knows that they're together, so she doesn't understand why James is denying it. She lets him go, but keeps a close eye on them.
Q comes home that night, weak and pale, half his face bruised darkly. James sees Q when he gets home. He makes him tea and a simple dinner, setting it in front of him. He ignores him otherwise.
Q takes the food and the tea with shaky hands. He eats and drinks silently and goes to bed. Sleeping.
When James wakes up in the morning, Q is in front if the mirror, applying makeup to his bruise, hissing in pain quietly when he presses too hard. James takes the makeup from Q and applies it himself, covering everything that needs to be covered up. He then leaves the bathroom.
Q just closes his eyes and enjoys the closeness, James hadn't been this gentle with him since they first started dating. He opens his eyes and sighs sadly when James walks away.
He goes to work and shifts about uncomfortably as M watches him work. It hurt to walk let alone invent things. James had been sent on another mission and was absent for a week. He keeps in contact with Q via the earpieces. Q hisses in pain when he moves a few times but no one would guess.
Except M does. She hacks into the earpiece and listens, hearing James shout insults and threats at Q whenever he makes a mistake.
When James gets back, he is whisked away to see M. She looks at him unamused. James sits there, silently waiting for her to speak. She purses her lips and eventually says firmly, "You have to stop dating Benedict."
James was stunned. "Why must I stop dating Benedict?"
Her face hardens. "We do not condone abusive relationships in MI6, 007."
"What makes you think the relationship I have with Benedict is abusive, Ma'am?"
Her eyebrow raises. "James, I am not a stupid old woman. I am very aware of your aggression." She sighs and clicks on her laptop, playing back the abusive words James and had growled at Q when he was on the mission. In some of the clips Q was obviously crying and sometimes even asking him to stop threatening him. She watches him calmly the whole time.
James says nothing. He could feel his blood beginning to boil as she played back the clips.
She eventually stops the clips and looks at him, unamused. "So, Bond. You must stop seeing Q. I am giving you this warning, if you go near him, then I will have you stripped of your licenses and deported to Zimbabwe."
James nods. He stands from the desk and heads to the door. "Of course, Ma'am."
Just before he leaves she murmurs, "I -will- be watching you, Bond."
James was tempted to head to Q-Branch and punish Q, but he was banned. He heads to a bar instead and picks up a random woman. He takes her back to the flat and fucks his anger and violence on her instead.
Q is sent to a different flat, and some other agents are sent to his old flat to pick up his stuff. He chews his lip and looks down at the floor. He misses James.
James walks around the silent, empty flat with another tumbler of scotch; it was his third that night.
Q locks his door with all the chains; he was scared that James would find him.
Q doesn't see James until a month later; he had to give weapons to him. He looks healthy again, but his hands are shaking when he hands the weapons over.
James says nothing unprofessional, but briefly runs a hand over Q's trembling fingers.
Q flinches and gulps, fighting the urge to snap his hand back. He missed James, but he was also terrified of being trapped by abuse again.
James withdraws his hand and leaves for his mission. He missed having Q around.
Q gulps and looks down at his feet.
When James gets back to his flat, Q is on the sofa, looking up at him sadly. "Q, what are you doing here? M banned me from seeing you."
Q gulps and looks down. He was fiddling with one of James' ties he bought him this. He chews his lip lightly and murmurs, "I miss you..."
James walks over to Q. He grabs him and forces him hard against the couch. "You miss me?"
Q looks up at him in panic, suddenly afraid. "I... I," he gulps and murmurs, " The gentle you..." He looks away from him.
"Fuck." James gets off Q and starts pacing.
Q gulps and looks down at the tie in his hands, sitting up again. "James..." he chews his lip and looks up at him.
James wraps an arm around Q, holding him against his body.
Q sniffles and snuggles in. His face pressed to James' neck, he whispers, "Why did you hate me so much?"
"I don't know why I hurt you. I don't know why I keep doing it, Benedict."
Benedict sniffles and kisses his jaw. "I loved you James..."
"I wish I could say the same Benedict. The first time I opened my heart it cost me dearly."
Q sniffles and looks down sadly. "That's because I'm a man..."
James hated himself. "I'm sorry, Benedict."
Q sniffles and looks up at him, chewing his lip. "I have to go..."
James lets Q up and watches him leave with a parting kiss. Q sniffles and looks back before leaving.
The next day he gives Bond his weapons. This time, his fingers linger on James' gently. James smiles ever so slightly and leaves for his next mission.
Something went wrong. The signals got jammed and Q couldn't see the agent sneaking up on Bond. He is terrified that James will be angry when he gets back.
James just sees the agent and manages to kill him. "Q, how the hell didn't you see that!" he yells into his earpiece.
Q flinches at the voice. "Someone has scrambled my system, Bond..."
A fellow member of Q-Branch is busily working on restoring the system. "Boss it should be fixed now." James swears loudly at Q's words.
"Don't you have security against this, Q?"
Q gulps. "Yes, 007, but sometimes it gets hacked. If someone can override my protocols... Take the next left, Bond."
James does as Q directs, but says nothing more unless it is related to the mission. Q knows he is angry.
At the end of the mission he waits nervously to get the weapons back from Bond. James says nothing to Q. He hands his weapons and gadgets back before he leaves, silent as a ghost. Q chews his lip in worry but is glad that James doesn't seem too angry. He finishes his day happily before driving home, tired from worrying so much.
James headed straight back to his flat and had almost emptied a full bottle of whiskey. He was seething and needed to release the anger.
Q snuggles up in bed and thinks about James, wishing he was there to keep him warm.
James leaves the flat. He walks through London until he comes to Q's new flat; getting the address hadn't been hard. Breaking in is easy and he is soon in the living room. Q doesn't notice. Of course he doesn't; James is a spy, he is as silent as possible.
He snuggles up in the new found warmth and smiles lightly. James finds Q's bedroom and silently enters. He sits on the other side, watching Q. Q wakes, sensing something is wrong. He sits up and looks around, freezing when he sees the figure at the other end of the room. "J-James?"
"Hello, Benedict." James makes no move to get up from his current spot in Q's bedroom.
Q gulps and makes a nervous noise. "What... What're you doing here... You... You're not supposed to be here."
"Oh, I know. M whisked you away to safety. She forgets that she trained me to find people, break into flats or any building. Foolish of her really."
Q gulps harshly, frightened by his tone. "I... I think you should leave... She has cameras installed all over the house."
"What? The camera in the top right corner and the one in the bookshelf?" James moves forward to sit on the edge of the bed next to Q.
Q gulps harshly and doesn't reply. He didn't even know the one on the bookshelf was there. "Why are you here?"
"I missed my Quartermaster." James runs a hand over Q's face.
Q gulps and shivers in fear. He kisses him softly and cups his face. "James..."
James grabs Q's hand and pins it down, his other hand wraps around Q's throat. Q chokes loudly and struggles against him, trying desperately to escape, his eyes wide with panic.
James lets go of him and slams Q's head against the headboard. He pulls Q's pants off and thrusts two fingers inside him as he strikes Q again. Q screams in pain and kicks his legs, trying to escape, tears pouring down his face. James adds two more fingers and starts beating Q.
Q sobs and struggles, desperately trying to escape, screaming at him to stop, sobbing.
James ties Q's hands with his belt, then shoves something he had grabbed on his way in up into Q.
Q screams in agony, trying desperate to escape, sobbing. "James stop. STOP!" He sobs and tries to push it back out, but James won't let him.
James gets up and kicks Q in the ribs, cracking several. He kisses him hard nipping at his mouth. Q screams but knows it's pointless as he feels blood trickling out from the corner of his lips as James kisses him forcefully. He stops struggling; it hurts too much.
James gets up and leaves the room to get something out of the kitchen. Q starts to choke on his own bed, using all his strength to kick the panic button under his dresser. He screams loudly in pain as he breaks his own toe.
James returns with a kitchen knife. He cuts Q across the chest several times with thin ribbons crisscrossing his chest in red lines. He punches Q's face again, breaking his nose.
Q sobs in pain, his breathing shallow and his eyes sliding shut as he begins to drift in and out of consciousness. James replaces the knife and returns his hands around Q's throat, strangling him.
Q chokes loudly, his body still fighting even if he isn't awake. His mouth opens as he tries desperately to get air into his lungs. James continues strangling Q until the kicking and bucking stops. He removes his hands and unties Q's hands. He stands there, numb, looking at Q.
Q can't breathe. His mind panics but he's floating away, relaxed.
James leaves the flat the same way he got in. James doesn't notice the panic button flashing, and 5 minutes after he has left, another MI6 agent breaks in, quickly calling back to the office for an ambulance and tries desperately to save him. But Q doesn't wake.
A month later and Q is still in the hospital. He's alive but still unconscious.
James was on a mission in Saudi Arabia, hunting a terrorist that was threatening Britain. Q was trapped in his own mind.
M had sent Bond to Saudi Arabia knowing that the mission would get him killed. James had been captured by a terrorist cell, but he was still alive.
Q doesn't wake until 4 months later. His eyes open blearily and he starts to cough. His body was healed, but weak. His mother is sits beside him, holding his hand. "Hunny... You never told me you work for the government..."
Q groans and tries to go back to sleep, but he sees M enter the room. "Took... Too... Long." His voice crackles and brakes.
James eventually makes his way back to MI6, but can't find Q. Q was in the hospital still. He was getting released tomorrow.
He goes back to work in a wheelchair, still weak. James sees Q in the wheelchair in Q-Branch.
Q doesn't notice him. He does everything with shaky hands and flinches at the smallest of noises.
James goes into Q-Branch and stops next to Q. Q freezes and refuses to look up at him; he knows it is him by his smell. He just continues to type with shaking hands.
James whispers quietly, "I see you're back and well."
Q gulps harshly and continues to type. "Not quite..." He wasn't well. He had collapsed yesterday. James had damaged his spine; he'd never walk again.
James doesn't notice the interns watching him. Q gulps and finishes typing up his report for M; he knows James can't hurt him here. He looks up at him. "I'd like you to leave."
James looks up and sees the interns watching him. They were all hovering near their panic buttons. They like Q, he was nice to them and they respected him in return.
James ignores the interns for the most part. He places his hand on the desk next to Q. "Benedict, do you know what happened to the last person who betrayed me?"
Q gulps harshly and stares down at his computer "I didn't betray you, James."
"We were happy once, Q, but I don't know what went wrong between us. I don't know what happened."
Q gulps and dares to look up at him. "You started beating me. That's what happened."
"Why couldn't you be more like her? You had to be a man, didn't you?"
Q looks up at him angrily. "So that's what your problem was?"
"I was a straight womanizer until you showed up."
Q sighs and looks away angrily. "I didn't make you love me, James..."
James looks away, "I'm sorry, Benedict. It was like a red haze had descended."
Q looks down at his desk and gulps, doing something he'd never done before. He answers back, "I still don't forgive you."
"I know, Benedict. I wouldn't expect you to." James sighs.
Q gulps and looks down at his computer, eventually he murmurs, "I'll never walk again..." He takes his glasses off and James can see that one of his eyes seems to be split. "That will never heal..." He puts the glasses back on and his eye looks normal again. He'd obviously invented it. "So, I don't know why you're even here, James. I will never trust another human being again because of you... You turned me into a monster." He gulps and types something before mumbling, "You turned me into you."
James looks up and sees M looking at him from her office.
James was sent abroad on a mission. He came home and died; he had shot himself. There was a note. All it said was: Sorry, Benedict.
Benedict blames himself constantly. He grows old alone, forever throwing himself into his work. He only speaks when it's about work and people generally think he's a weirdo.
He outlives 57 other agents, including 006, and even outlives M. He dies peacefully in his sleep, clutching one of James' ties.
The End.