Miss Natalia Arlovskaya

You are cordially invited to the annual World Ball.

Dress is formal; masks optional.

This is an official armistice: weapons must be forfeited at the door.

Sincerely yours,

The International Affiliations Committee.

"That time of year again?" I murmured to myself as I placed the invitation on my kitchen table.
"I will go." I told myself as I looked longingly out the window.

TIME CHANGE.

I placed the small sapphire mask on my face, hoping to disguise myself from Ivan. Maybe then I could claim a normal dance. I headed out of the limo and towards the main gates. They registered my name and took my most obvious knife. They didn't dare ask to search the rest of my person. I made my way to the ball room and found no one of real importance. Just England, his bothers and a couple of the Asian countries.
I walked around a moment before making it out to a small garden area with a bench.
"I suppose Big Brother hasn't got here yet." I murmured before muttering darkly, "That or he is hiding." I sat on the lone bench, searching the American sunset for answers I wasn't sure I wanted.
Why does he run? I asked myself. What is it about me that he cannot love? I love him, much more than any other country could or would. I would always take care of him, I sat straighter, keeping the threat of angered tears at bay, I would treat him better than anyone would think to. He'd be happy. I could make him happy. Da?
Then I heard something rustling behind me. I quickly stopped the threatening tears and regained my ever present poker face.
"There you are Bela!"
I frowned. "What do you want, Alfred?"
The loud American smiled brightly and came to sit next to me. Supposedly, since we were 'allies' this meant we were friends as well in Alfred's eyes.
"I didn't see you in the ball room, but the attendants said you had checked in and dropped off a knife."
I stared at the sunset, "I did."
"I couldn't find you, and then I thought to myself, 'Alfred, there is a lady missing, you've gotta be the Hero and find her!' And I did. 'Cause here you are!"
I glanced at him with indifference; sometimes I honestly wondered how he was capable of being a Country. "I am here. Now you may leave and go back to ball." My Belarusian accent thick.
"But why are you alone, Bela?"
"It is what I do."
"Aw c'mon Bel-Bel."
What did he just call me? Is this man asking to die?
I clenched my fist, attempting not to grab the extra knife I had attached to my garter. "Alfred." I said deliberately through clenched teeth, "What. Did you just call me?" The anger and slight disbelieving tone clear in my voice.

He thought a moment as he slowly inched away, clearly confused at my reaction. "Uh, Bel-Bel?"

"And what, for the love of all that is Soviet, would make you call me such child's name?" I asked, frustrated.
"Iunno." He mumbled. That was another thing that bothered me about Alfred; I spoke better English than he did. "I thought it was cute."

"VHY VOULD YOU CALL ME SOMSING CUTE?" I roared at him, whipping out my knife and holding it to his throat as I glared down at him, my eyes half crazed.
"Idon'tknow, I'msorryBelarus." He cried like the coward we all know he is. "I won't do it again, okay?"
I nodded almost imperceptibly. Instantly I cooled and no longer had the desire to cut his face off and make a hat for him out of it. I sat back down and returned to looking at the lowered sun. America regained his normal confidence. He kept glancing at me, but I ignored him as it turned to dusk, then to twilight and slowly to night. The stars slowly let their light out. They were a little dimmer here than back home, but still beautiful.
"Bela?"
I sighed, "Da, Alfred?"
"Ar-are you crying?" His voice squeaking and cracking.
My face flushed in a lapse of control. I hadn't even known I was crying. I quickly wiped the traitorous tears away and resumed admiring the stars.
"Nhet." I spoke quietly, "I do not do such weak actions. They are shameful things."
Nervously, he tells me; "Belarus, you're a bad liar."
I face him, bitterness blazing in my eyes. "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean; obviously somethin's made you sad." His eyes keep flickering away, afraid to meet mine. "You can, uh, always talk to me, ya know. We're allies, and I'm the Hero, so you can talk, and I'll help." He said, regaining himself.
I sighed in defeat. Honestly, I had grown quite weary of the charade. It's just America; he's an idiot anyway and wouldn't tell anyone. He's too scared of me for that.
"You know how, some countries say I'm, 'creepy' or 'crazy'?"
He gave a nervous laugh, "Yea, yea I know."
"And how I 'scare' Big Brother with my constant 'stalking' and talk of marriage."

"Mmmmhm." Obviously still too scared and nervous to say much of anything.
"Well, it's not like I want to scare Vanya, I just try to show him how much I really care. I love him. And I really, really want to make him happy. I want him to love me just as much as I love him."

"I'm not sure that's possible." Alfred said before quickly clamping his hand over his obnoxious mouth. "I mean, because you love him so deeply and so much. Heh. Heh."
I nodded, knowing that even though what he said was mostly a cover up for the slip, it was nice to hear. My features relaxed as I ask; "Do you know how hard it is to cope with his constant rejection? Over and over again? No matter what I do to try and convince him I really mean it when I say I love him."
America faltered for a moment; "Uh, no, I've never had that happen." I smile bitterly.

"I suppose someone like you wouldn't.
"Hey now, I've been though stuff too ya know, I had to revolt against my own brother!" He said, melodramatic as ever.
"I did too." My face beginning to show my emotions.

"Oh yea." He ran his hand through the back of his sandy blond hair. He giggled nervously, "Forgot about that."
"About killed me." I said, more to myself than to him. "I really didn't want to leave. But Big Sister Ukraine said we had to, or we'd die." I laughed bitterly, "Sometimes I think that would have been better. To die with him. Instead of living like this. Alone." The stars were slowly gaining brilliance it seemed. Since it's getting darker.
"Wow, Belarus." America said, glancing slightly to the bush he entered from. Looking for an escape already? My bitter thoughts asked.
"Honestly, I didn't know you were able to feel stuff like that." He continued.
I glance at him incredulously. "I am a person, da? I have feelings just as anyone."

He shrugged. I feel small, cool tears slowly streak my pale skin. I could hear America becoming flustered, but I couldn't focus on that. I could only feel the pain I had been holding back for so long. The rejection, the hopelessness of my efforts to convince Russia that we belong. He'll never love me, will he? There's nothing I can do. I heard a small choked sob, before realizing it was me.
Then I feel strong arms come from behind me and wrap around my shaky body. My eyes rip open as I here;
"Shhh, Natalia, I'm here."

I couldn't breathe; I squirmed around to see his face, to be sure, as he picked me up and cradled me.

"I-Ivan!" I exhale, shocked. "H-how long have you been here?" I asked through the sobs that are still trying to claim their hold on me.
He smiles bitterly; "Too long it seems." He pulls me closer to him; I curl up to him and loop my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly to me. I feel his chest shudder, from what I do not know. I attempt to stifle my sobs, so I don't seem weak to him.
"Natalia." He begins quietly in my ear, "I never wanted you to feel such pain from rejections. I am many times sorry that you had to feel like this for me to see what it did to you." He hugged me tighter. "I reject you because I thought it would hurt you more if we tried being together. I, I am not best person" He pulls my face away from his broad chest to look into my eyes with his pale violets. He looks me over and I can tell he's seeing the paths the salty water made down my pale cheek. I see him grimace before continuing. "I see now that was probably worse mistake." He sighs and puts his forehead against mine, still gazing sadly at me. "Natalia; I love you. And not just as your political sibling."

I could feel my tears brimming along my eyes, I couldn't help but think I'm dreaming, or I've finally lost it from the pain. "Ivan," I begin shakily, "You do not know how many times I've dreamed of you saying such words." I take my arms from around his neck and place them on his chest, loving the intimacy and the feel of his heart beating against them. I look from my hands back to the face that is ever present in my dreams. "I love you." I say as I slowly move my lips closer to his. To my amazement, he does the same and I get the kiss I wanted for so long.
Neither of us want to break the kiss, but we do. I smile, my eyes still closed, savoring the moment I longed for my whole existence.
"What do you say to a dance, moya lyubov?"
I open my eyes with my heart singing; "Let's" I murmur as he carries me out of the garden.