Milkshake
A/N: This is more of a crack-fic than anything else. Enjoy!
"But then again, if you twist your hair from the side it'll bring more bounce to your curls..."
Annabeth zoned out as Piper, letting her inner Aphrodite shine, worked on her hair. Hazel who had gone over to dreamland sat on the bed, absentmindedly blowing on her fingers to dry the neon pink nail polish that Piper had applied to it.
All in all, this slumber party was really not going at all the way Annabeth wanted. Her idea of a slumber party would have been something like watching Troy or Clash of the Titans and correcting all the historical inaccuracies while munching on popcorn with extra butter. She definitely didn't want a makeover. And no, she didn't think wearing bows would make her look better –by which Piper obviously meant 'less intimidating'- because Percy would never let her live it down if she showed up with a bow sticking out of her head and it would be so much harder to make Leo shut up with her "I'll-kill-you-if-you-say-another-word" look.
But Annabeth didn't utter a protest as Piper styled her hair this way and that because it was a welcome thing to finally be in the company of friends than having monsters tracking you in hell and drinking fire to survive.
They were on their way to Athens to stop Gaia from rising. The Feast of Spes was only twelve days away. Coach Hedge, Reyna and Nico had left for Camp Half-blood to stop the Romans from attacking the only home Annabeth had known for a long time. She hoped someone hit Octavian in the face with a branch or something. Or a wooden club.
In all this tension, today was the girls night off. The boys were all up on the deck, keeping watch. The closer they got to Athens, the more monsters attacked them. Although, Annabeth suspected, Gaia was keeping her best, most fearsome monsters at bay. Since they closed the Doors of Death, Gaia probably didn't want to risk losing them to a century or two of reforming on the blistered grounds of Tartarus.
A slightly familiar sounding music flowed in through the half open door.
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"
All three girls turned their heads toward the door. Did they just hear what they heard?
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"
Oh yeah, they definitely heard it right. Annabeth, Piper and Hazel looked at each other and came to a silent decision: they were going to check out what was happening. Hazel opened the door and all of them stepped out. The sound was coming from the deck.
The girls reached the top of the stairs to the deck and Annabeth motioned for them to keep quiet. Not that they were going to make any sound because what they saw next struck them all completely dumbstruck.
Leo had procured a boombox from somewhere and the boys were all dancing to 'Milkshake' by Kelis. And by the gods, it was a scene to watch.
"I know you want it,
The thing that makes me,
What the guys go crazy for.
They lose their minds,
The way I wind,
I think it's time"
Frank and Percy shook their bodies in time with the music while Jason dipped Leo and brought him back up with amazing grace.
(A/N: Jason. Grace. Get it? ^_^ OK. No. Bad joke.)
"La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting
La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting"
Percy twirled Frank around Leo and Jason.
The girls were having a hard time breathing.
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"
Leo shook his butt.
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"
The rest of the boys joined him. Percy even said, "Shake that booty, baby!"
"I can see you're on it,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that freaks these boys,
It can't be bought,
Just know, thieves get caught,
Watch if you're smart,"
Did they just do the Harlem shake? Piper had to blink a few times to be sure.
"La la-la la la,
Warm it up,
La la-la la la,
The boys are waiting,
La la-la la la,
Warm it up,
La la-la la la,
The boys are waiting,"
Hazel was getting really really confused. What sort of a song is this? Sure, milkshakes were delicious but why would it bring all the boys to the yard?
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"
You know the world will end soon when the praetor of the Twelfth Legion picks up a pink boa from the deck (where did that come from?) and wraps it around his neck.
"Oh, once you get involved,
Everyone will look this way-so,
You must maintain your charm,
Same time maintain your halo,
Just get the perfect blend,
Plus what you have within,
Then next his eyes are squint,
Then he's picked up your scent,"
Jason gave Percy a suggestive wink. Annabeth almost had a coronary! Now here was one Superman she wouldn't mind locking in a cell full of kryptonite.
"Lala-lalala,
Warm it up,
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting,
Lala-lalala,
Warm it up,
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting,"
Leo fished out an iPhone from his tool belt (he owned an iPhone?!) and all the boys line up for a picture. The all pout at the camera as Leo clicks on repeatedly. Holy Hades, their duck-faces are horrifying!
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge
The girls didn't notice Frank slip to the side of the deck because Leo was twerking on the deck and Percy and Jason seemed to be doing a very bad version of Gangnam style.
Seriously? Gangnam style? With this song?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"
The music tuned out and Frank picked up a tray which no one had noticed before, sitting on a crate which Annabeth swore contained Greek fire.
Oh they were so going to die for this! They were supposed to keep watch not do...whatever they were, uh, doing!
There were four glasses of chocolate milkshake on the tray which Frank passed around to the boys. All of them clinked their glasses, Jason looking like Leonardo di Caprio in The Great Gatsby as he clinked his glass with Leo's. Well they do have one thing in common: neither of them ever got an Oscar.
At this point Piper started laughing so hard she had to clutch her stomach. Hazel and Annabeth joined in as they piled onto the deck.
Frank was so surprised he spit out his milkshake all over Leo.
"Zhang! You Chinese-Canadian baby man!" Leo shrieked.
"That's Arions line!" Percy scolded him, totally nonchalant about the fact that his girlfriend saw him twerking with his bro's.
Jason looked like he was going to throw up.
Leo raised an eyebrow at the girls and was like, "Saw something you liked babes?"
And to think they were the ones charged with responsibility of saving the world on a daily basis. Di immortals, they were all doomed!
A/N: Hi cupcakes! Long time no, err, write!
This parody is dedicated to all those people who want to murder me right now because I don't update my fics regularly. I know I am a horrible person and I deserve to be engaged to Octavian and I am so, so sorry. I promise I'll update Bloodlust and The Song of Fire soon.
Anyway, I'm feeling a little crazy right now, hence whatever you just read might seem a little off the track. And I'm obsesses with Milkshake too. The song I mean. Not the drink. Though I wouldn't mind if someone gave me a glass of milkshake right now.
Whatever.
Toodles!