CHAPTER 1 THE WORST OF ABBA

sunday, october 10th

11am

I can't believe I'm grounded again. Mum and Dad couldn't believe it, either. It's unbelieveable, that's why.

11:30am

And because Mum caught me trying to sneak in at 3am last night.

11:35am

And because I hadn't rolled my skirt down yet,so it was still literally only an inch long.

11:45am

And because I was wearing her leather skirt.

But that's not my nub and gist. My nub my nub and gist is ...er...

12pm

I don't know what my nub is (oooer) but my gist is that parents are unfair, crap and useless, except for giving you money and driving you places.

I'm never leaving my room again.

12:15pm

Had to leave my room--I got hungry. I had butterscotch candies but I already ate all of them.

1pm

Back in my room, stocked up with water, instant coffee, and sugar. Now I won't come out of my room ever again.

2pm

I'm bored.

230pm

Staring out my window at all the people who are allowed to have a social life. Even Mr.-Next-Door has a social life, and he's got the biggest bum in humanity.Even my dad has a bigger social life than me. And that's just sad.

Now I'm depressed.

3pm

In bed, trying to sleep.

"Ginger, milkypops."

Oh great, I'm a cat again.

I curled in a ball under the covers. "No thanks, I'm not feeling good. Maybe some other time."

"Milky pops NOW"

And she threw the cup at me.

5pm

I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

My room smells like sour milk because Mum never goes shopping anymore.

My sister thinks I am a cat.

Could life get any worse?

5:15pm

I had to ask.

Granddad is here with what he calls his "latest".She can't be much older than me.In fact, I think I reconize her from schol.

"This is Sheila. She's my accountant."

"Isn't she a bit young?"
"She's only as young as what you feel."

At that point he squeezed her butt. I went to my room.

10pm

Grandad and whats-her-face are still here. I can hear them all dancing to "The Best of Abba."

11pm

If it's the best of Abba, why ithe record so damn long?

Monday,october 11th

8am

Barely made it to school. Mum, Dad and co. stayed up 'til 3am playing old records and dancing.I went downstairs to gt more water and saw Grandad doing the twist. I nearly choked to death.

9am ASSEMBLY

Slim is going on about respect and sports and crap stuff adults go on about.Some sadsack nurse is coming to talk to us about "healthy living" every Friday during 5th period. Thank god, no more R.E. We talk about the meaning of life in there, but I'm still trying to figure out the meaning of having that class.

The Ace Gang took one look at me and said "What's wrong?".I told them about Grandad and Sheila and Abaa. They all patted me on the back and gave me chocccies. Rosie said "If you ever need sanity, you can stay with me".

Jas snorted at her comment, and said "Yeah,yeah yeah, so on with the details."

"What details?"
"About Saturday night...you know, Robbie, and Masimo?"

Oh my Lord, I had completely forgotten about it.

"Well.." I looked at my fingernails. "Do you think they should be painted?"

"No."

Should I dye my hair?"

Everyoine yelled "STOP STALLING."

"Stalling? Who's stalling?"

And then the bell rang. Phew, saved by the bell!

3pm, ON THE WAY HOME

I manganged to evade any more questions about THAT all day.

1 day down...4 to go.

I'm pooped.

7pm

Mum sent me to bed immediately after dinner. Well, Mum calls it dinner. Really, it was peanut butter sandwiches. Mum forgot to go shopping again. Big suprise.

7:03pm

Not.

7:30pm

In bed. I skipped my beauty regimen. All my looking my best did was get me grounded.And if I'm stuck in my room all day, how am I gonigto trap any boys, unless one suddenly gets amnesia and walks into my room.

AND the chances to that are...

8pm

Well, slim to none. I hate math. It makes me think and thinking gives me a headache.

Thursday,october 15th

4:30pm

I ran to school and ran to and from each class so I won't have to think about how much my life is ruined becasue of boys and how after I'm grounded I'm supposed to give an answer to Masimo AND Robbie and how my friends think I've been invaded by the pod people and I'm not me anymore.

5pm

If I'm not me, who am I?

5:30pm

I'd hate to be Dad. A dog followed me home Monday and Libby is keeping him in her room. She named him "Fluffy". He's a pit bull.She "lobes" him and he "lobes her back. And anyone that goes near Libby gets their ankles bitten off .

Mum made Dad go up there and tell Libs that she can't have a dog.

6pm

I'd love to be Posh Spice. She gets to wear nice clothes and has people who do her hair for her. and she's married to david beckham.

8pm

Had drifted off to sleep. I was dreaming about being married to David Beckham. We lived in London, and our neighbor was Winona Ryder.. She kept coming over to borrow stuff and never returned them. Winona Ryder has some sort of disease where she steals sutff. It's called necrophilia or something like that.

Anyways, I woke up because Dad was sceeaming "get it off! get it off!".

Oh gross. If their doing some weird sex thing again, I'm disowning myself. Last time, Dad had to be hospitialized for 3rd degree burns on his toes. I didn't ask.

9pm

I put my pillow over my head and was just drifting off to sleep when Mum cam barreling in. She didn't even notice that I was in bed. Asleep. She turned on the lights and pulled the covers off of me.

"Georgia, you need to get up now. That creature attacked your father and we need to take him tothe E.R. to get stitches."

I sat up. "Is Angus OK?"
"She glared at me."How can you be so heartless? It's Fluffy that attacked. Not Angus."

"IS Flufffy ok?"
She threw my shoes at me and stomped downstairs.

12am

After sitting in the waiting room for about a million years,Dad came out on crutches.

Mum jumped up and just about ate him alive.

The doctor came out, all smiley. Probably because he charged them per bone in body.

"There's good news, and there's bad news.The good news is, it's just a fracture. Your father will be back on his feet and his usual self in 3 weeks."

"No, that's the bad news."

He chuckled. "The bad news is, well, the type of job that Mr. Nicolson is holding is very dangerous, especially for a man in Bob's health. "

Mum asked "What do you mean ,doctor?" She batted her eyes at him .Oh, that's where my fake eyelashes went.

The doctor ignored her, though and went on. "It means that maybe Bob should consider a less dangerous career."

Mum said "oh, don't worry about that. I'm taking a job at Georgia's school.'