Rain pours down in sheets, hammering against the red umbrella in Asuka's hand and making it waver- or that's what she tells herself. Water splashes against the toes of her shoes and slides off the slick black surfaces, rejoining the larger puddles congregating on the ground. The slap of soles against damp concrete echoes through the empty street, devoid of life save for the one soaked silhouette passing by the street lamps.
"Why doesn't it stop?" Asuka hisses, her knuckles paling around the handle of her umbrella. Her lowered eyes catch a pool of light being cast from above, and her pace slows as she slowly navigates around it, the angry flick of her feet throwing down circles within circles. She eyes the silver shadows of the raindrops, briefly illuminated in the artificial light before pattering against the sidewalk. "Hah!" Asuka mutters, and she stomps away from the street lamp, umbrella shaking harder than before.
"I don't understand why it had to be her," she continues. "They could've sent out that idiot Shinji; he could've killed that damn Angel just as well. Probably would've done a better job of it, too!" She skirts another lamppost, her entire arm trembling now. "Or they-" Her breath hitches and she stumbles to a stop at the end of the street, doubling over and pressing her free hand to her stomach.
"Why did it have to be her? Why didn't he do anything? Why didn't you just let me die!?" The umbrella bounces into a puddle and rolls briefly before beginning to fill up with rainwater. Asuka grabs at the collar of her tank top, her harsh panting sending out small puffs of vapor to be perforated by the rain.
"I didn't want to be saved," Asuka whimpers as her drenched tank top begins to cling to her skin. "Didn't need to... I hate her, I hate her, I-" The Second Child shivers, her limbs numbing, and slowly she straightens herself and retrieves her umbrella. A quick shake empties it of water, and it takes its place back above her head, a shaky parody of a halo.
Cold blue eyes survey the street and the shaded apartments above, as if ensuring no one else saw her moment of weakness. There is nothing, not even a shadow, to mark what transpired. Gathering up the last of her fury, Asuka expels it all in one final, spiteful, "I hate her."
And she moves on.
The melody of falling rain is one that Rei Ayanami has rarely heard, but it drowns out the humming and banging of her faulty apartment, and thus it is normally agreeable. On this day, though, Rei finds herself sitting on her bed, which she has pushed so it lies under the lone window in her small dwelling. She stares out at the rain pelting her window; notes how similar in appearance it is to the splattering of rain against Unit-00's optic visor. Her hands flex involuntarily.
Surely the death of the Fifteenth Angel would have caused the rain to vanish, yet Rei knows this is not true. She is aware, nearly painfully so, of the Angel's effect on her fellow pilot. She knows the Second Child's hatred of her has probably increased in magnitude, and though it should not, it disturbs her. "That was not my intention," she whispers, attempting to ease the pressure building in her chest.
The wandering of her mind leads her to a memory of another day, long before the Angels began their assault, a day when the skies had opened up and poured rain on the city. One of her classmates had said, rather loudly, that raindrops were really the falling tears of a god: but there were no gods; only men and Angels.
I wonder if Angels can cry, Rei thinks, then amends herself: The Lilim can, but do all Lilim cry? Did Pilot Sohryu cry? If I am made in the image of the Lilim, am I able to cry?
A rumble of thunder shakes the window, the rattling of glass shattering Rei's train of thought. More light flashes in the distance, and Rei squints through the streaked glass. For a moment she thinks Arael has returned, and her pulse quickens; there is another rolling of thunder, and Rei slouches back down on her bed.
"The scenario will be completed soon," she whispers, gently resting one hand atop the other and squeezing it. "I will fulfill my purpose, and then there will be no more Angels. Perhaps no more suffering." She pauses, the corners of her mouth curving downwards. "Before I do, though, I should apologize to Pilot Sohryu. Perhaps the next time I see her." Rei nods to herself and resumes her vigil at the window, gazing out at the city with its crumbled buildings, lying untouched from battles with the Twelfth and Fourteenth Angels.
Lightning and thunder rock the apartment again, closer this time. A single droplet of water traces its way down Rei's cheek. She makes a mental note to ask NERV to repair the leaks.
Asuka sighs as she walks down the street, her umbrella in one hand and her schoolbag in the other. "Stupid Shinji, getting me detention," she growls, kicking at a puddle. "That's the last time I ask him for help with kanji. The idiot can't even write in his first language! So of course he gets to walk home while it's only drizzling, and as soon as I'm done, what happens? The damn sky decides to take a dump on me! Oh, when I get home I'm going to-"
Exactly what Asuka had planned for Shinji is lost in the roar of the rain and the sudden shock that flits across her face. She narrows her eyes, squints, shakes her head and rubs her eyes, but no matter what she does she cannot shake the image of Ayanami Rei from her mind. "Great, I must be sick," Asuka says, stomping over. "I'm hallucinating!" She swings her schoolbag forward, intent on dispelling the image and going on with her day. Instead her bag bounces off solid flesh, and Rei turns, her wide red eyes showing the faintest hint of surprise.
"Pilot Sohryu. You are out late."
"I'm out late?! I had detention, you idiot; you saw me get it! I should ask why you're out here in the rain, not the other way around. You don't even have an umbrella. Look at you, you're drenched!"
Rei looks down, as if only just noticing the state of her school uniform. Asuka sighs and extends her umbrella a short distance, so the canopy covers Rei as well. "Are you going to just stand there? What are you doing, anyway?!"
"I..." Rei looks around, then reaches into her schoolbag and produces a small plastic card. Asuka recognizes it as one of NERV's ID cards right away, only this one has Shinji's name and face plastered onto it. "I was asked to give this to Pilot Ikari after school... but I had forgotten, so I attempted to follow him to give it to him. I lost him shortly after, and it had begun to rain, so I decided I would go home... except I do not know where home is."
"You don't know?!" Asuka shrieks, growing increasingly disbelieving by the second. "What kind of an answer is that?"
"I am used to commuting directly to and from NERV Headquarters and the school. I do not see any reason to memorize alternate routes."
"Useless! Sometimes I wonder how you even get your EVA to move. Give me that." Asuka tucks her bag under one arm and snatches the ID card away from Rei, muttering about NERV choosing some impossibly dense girl over her as the First Child. She doesn't catch Rei's brief downward glance, or the slight narrowing of her eyes. "So if I take you back to the school, can you find your way back?"
Rei blinks. "Why would you want to accompany me when you can simply give me directions?"
"It's raining, stupid, and you don't have an umbrella! And if you didn't have the idea to use your bag to cover your head, how am I supposed to trust you to follow simple instructions?"
"Those are unrelated-"
"Just shut up and start walking, Wondergirl. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can go home." Asuka motions toward the direction she had just come from with a jerk of her head, and she feels Rei fall in beside her, a constant but silent presence. The redhead scrunches her eyes shut and begins to run numbers in her mind. She can be rid of Rei in as short a time as fifteen minutes, maybe ten if she's smart enough to know how to 'go straight'. If that's the case, she can abandon her at the street corner, and-
"Would you like me to hold the umbrella, Pilot Sohryu?" asks Rei, jerking Asuka out of her calculations.
"Scheisse!" Asuka shouts, and almost staggers off the curb. Rei stares at her, a few strands of wet hair trailing in front of her eyes. "Haven't you ever heard of personal space, Wondergirl? And to answer your question, no way! What if you take it and run off with it, huh?"
"I would not do that to you, Pilot Sohryu."
"I think I'll keep a handle on it, thanks," Asuka says, straightening her shoulders. "And can you please stop calling me that? It's getting on my nerves."
"Pilot Sohryu?"
"Yes, that!"
"But that is who you are, is it not?"
"My name is Asuka, get it? Look, how about this. If you call me Asuka, I'll stop calling you Wondergirl and First, alright?"
Rei stops in her tracks, briefly exposing herself to the rain as Asuka rolls her eyes and backtracks to keep her covered. "That is... agreeable," she says at last. "Asuka."
A small, wry smile spreads across Asuka's face. "You're getting there. Rei."
The rushing of waves are the only soundtrack to be had in the ruins of Tokyo-3. Not even the wind dares disturb the stygian landscape, and what purplish clouds remain hang deathly still in the silence. It is under this violet sky with its red perversion of a halo that Asuka picks her way through the bits of concrete and steel.
She doesn't know exactly what she's looking for; she only knows that she left Shinji, the only other living soul she's seen so far, on that pristine beach with its white, soulless sands, that she's hungry, and that she feels like she's being watched.
The first thing is perhaps the easiest to address of her worries. When she awoke, it was only because her lungs were screaming for air and her throat felt like it was on fire. In her deluded state of mind, she had raised her hand to the Third Child's cheek- to slap him, perhaps- but instead all she felt was the gentle gliding of skin against her fingertips. It made her sick, and once he had finished his pitiful bout of crying, he had curled up in a little ball on the beach. In fact, he was probably still there, an empty shell of a body in a world where shells were priceless and souls were a dime a dozen.
What a waste.
Now, the second thing- Asuka grimaces as her stomach twists in on itself- she's hungry. She doesn't know how much time has passed between Third Impact and her surfacing on the beach, or even if there's any food left in the rubble of the Fortress City. Briefly she wonders if that bloody sea would provide any sustenance, and if it did, if it would be considered cannibalism. Then she thought, if mother is in that sea with everyone else, it would be both sinful and shameful to partake of it, and crossed that thought off the list.
Instead, the broken pilot forces her legs and arms to carry her through mountains of gravel and ruin in search of food that is probably as devoid of nutrition as everything else. She'll be damned if she lays down and dies like the idiot she left on the beach, though.
Then there's the last thing. She hasn't checked since she sat up on the beach, but the head of Lilith-Rei-Adam-Another is probably still sitting on the horizon, grinning like a gargoyle. She doesn't want to turn and look again. The last time she did, she had to look away before it drove her mad. Time has passed now, how much she does not know, but the shattered remnants of her pride burn in her heart and tell her to look, to look back, even though she does not want to.
She does.
That horrible half-head is still looming in the distance with its wide eyes and vacant smile. It looks like Rei, it looks like Shinji, it looks like someone she's never met in this life but perhaps in another; it looks like love and hate and it makes her sick.
So then, she asks herself, why does it make her want to cry?
The beach is empty, and the ocean washes away her footsteps. The beach is only empty because she has cleaned it out herself, picked up the only two things that dared show their faces, and now she has taken it upon herself to canvass the entire length of sand to see if anyone else has come ashore.
Rei keeps her two tokens on her person at all times, unwilling to leave them behind, as they are precious to her. The first is a pale white cross, like bone but not, on a black string. It calls to her heart, to avenge- but there is no one left alive to avenge nor to wreak vengeance upon, and if something were to strike her dead, no one would avenge Rei. Even if there were, no one would care.
The second is a black plastic rectangle, its bulk circumnavigated multiple times by two thin strands of wire; an SDAT player. Shinji's. Though Rei takes this to mean he has survived Third Impact and is now adrift in the sea of souls, she is unsure of this: the last she saw of Unit-01 was its prone form on the floor of the Geofront, being torn into by the Mass-Produced Evangelions.
The sight of something red against the white sands jerks Rei out of her reminisces. At first she thinks it's a wave, but it's too stationary; no sea life can survive in a sea not meant for the living, and so there is only one thing that it can be. A vanishing trail of footprints forms against the sands as Rei runs with all her might at the mysterious object, hoping it is not an illusion of her own despair that will vanish as soon as she arrives.
The object does not vanish, and as Rei looks down upon the red plugsuit and the Second Child, she feels something in her chest swell at the revelation that someone else has made it back from Third Impact. She kneels by the girl's side and takes one limp hand in both of hers to feel for a pulse. It's there; the barely visible rise and fall of Asuka's chest tell Rei that she is, indeed, alive. Yet though her eyes are open and staring at the sky, she does not react.
"Pilot Sohryu?" Rei asks, gently lowering Asuka's hand and grasping her by the shoulders. "Pilot Sohryu? Are you awake?" Something nudges her thigh, and Rei looks down hopefully, only to notice a small cream-colored teacup rolling away with the tide. She grabs at it, raises it out of the water, and eyes it critically. Yes, she recognizes this object as well; it used to be hers. There's a chip and a large crack, fixed with hot glue and tape, and Rei gasps as the memory of that object floods her mind.
I don't need your pity, First! I hate you! I hate everyone, I hate myself, I hate that idiot Shinji, but most of all I hate you!
A hand brushes against hers, harsh and unyielding, knocking the teacup from her hand. Hot liquid spills against the floor as the cup shatters into two pieces. The redhead whirls, the faintest of sobs escaping her throat, and slams the door to Rei's apartment behind her.
Rei watches her go with emotionless eyes, knows she should probably go after her, but she cannot find anything within her to say that would make the situation better. Instead she kneels, gathering the broken pieces in her hand. This can be repaired, she thinks.
"Pilot Sohryu..." Rei whispers, feeling her eyes sting. She looks down again. The teacup has found its way to a niche in the sand a small distance away from Asuka's head, and Rei notices she has Asuka's hand clasped between hers. It's cold. "A-Asuka, wake up," she pleads.
Nothing.
"I'm sorry, Asuka."
Nothing.
The gates of the First Municipal Junior High School come into view, but Asuka finds herself keeping pace with Rei as they grow closer and closer. In what seems like no time at all, they arrive at the front gate. Rei takes a few steps away, turns, and bows to Asuka. "Thank you, Pilo- Asuka," she says. "I can find my way from here."
"What are you, stupid? I'm going with you!" Rei tilts her head in confusion, and Asuka elaborates: "It might be dangerous, you idiot! A-and this doesn't mean we're friends or anything, alright? I just don't want Misato to chew me out for letting you get hurt!" Her outburst fades away, and Asuka bites her lip, wondering why her face suddenly feels heated. She's probably sick. Definitely getting sick. She'll give Shinji hell over this once she gets home.
Rei doesn't protest, and once again she walks beside Asuka as they begin the journey to the train station. For several blocks, only the symphony of the rain accompanies the tapping of their shoes on concrete. Then, Rei speaks. "Do you find any of this familiar, Asuka?"
Asuka scoffs. "Why would I? This is the first time it's rained since I've gotten here, silly!"
"I see." Another block later, she stops them both. "Asuka, your hand is shaking."
The redhead looks at Rei, surprised, and true to the albino's observation, her hand has begin to quiver. "I..." Asuka begins, stunned, and wills her hand to stop moving. Anger surges in her as her hand disobeys her, unceasing in its trembling, and she moves to grab it when there is a cool, light touch of another's skin on hers. Asuka stares at the pale hand resting atop hers, helping her hold the umbrella steady, and she swears the First Child is smiling. "Let's go," Asuka mutters, and continues walking.
Rei doesn't let go until they get to the train station.
"It's tomorrow, isn't it. The day of the battle." Asuka shivers in her night clothes and turns on her cot to face her roommate. "We've done all we can. You'd better not mess up, you hear me, Ayanami?"
"Yes."
"If only the stupid Third Child hadn't gotten himself killed facing the Fifth Angel... this could be different."
"Ikari was not stupid. He held the heat shield in place longer than I could have hoped to do so."
"Yeah, and now look! We're short one pilot, Evangelion Unit-01 is a huge heap of melted metal, and if we screw up tomorrow that's it!" Asuka sighs and rolls again, facing the wall. "I'm going to sleep, Ayanami. Don't wake me up unless that damn Angel's right at our front door, you hear me?"
"Yes."
"Good." Asuka reaches out with a hand and flicks off the lights; within minutes her breaths begin to slow, and sleep takes her. Rei remains awake, staring at the ceiling, the images of her most recent battle still burned into her mind.
Unit-00, sighting down the barrel of the positron rifle. The Angel, undamaged despite Rei firing with a perfect targeting solution. Unit-01, burning in the light of the Angel's fury, its heels dug in and its pilot shouting his defiance even as he and his Unit began to crumble.
Two seconds too long.
The Angel had perished, but at too high a cost. She had been taught from her creation that attachment to anything other than the scenario was not to be tolerated, and yet Ikari had managed to connect with her in a way no one else had before. Perhaps it was because he looked like his father. Perhaps it was because he actually cared. Now that was gone, and Rei was left with a blank slate. "Ikari," she sighs, not sure if she is remembering a lost friend or damning the father that sent his son to die.
"Mama," comes the whispered reply. Rei sits up, startled, just in time to see one of Asuka's legs kick its way out from under the blankets. "Mama..." The sheets by Asuka's neck bunch and wrinkle as her shoulder shift up, her hands finding the sleeves of her nightshirt and clenching them tightly.
Commander Ikari had briefed her extensively on how to interact with the Second Child, and yet in the wake of the battle against the Fifth Angel, Rei is unsure if the Commander's orders have her best interests at heart. At this moment, they certainly do not hold any regard for Asuka's needs, and whether the head of NERV will acknowledge it or not, Rei needs Asuka at her best for the coming battle.
Blankets and carpet rustle as Rei pushes her cot over to Asuka's and climbs back under the sheets. Slowly, almost as if she is being given something immensely fragile and delicate to hold, Rei encircles her arms around Asuka's and pulls her closer. The other girl curls around her, drawing her in, and over the shaking of the cot Rei hears her say, "Don't leave me."
Rei leans forward, bringing her mouth next to Asuka's ear, and rests her head against Asuka's shoulder. "I will not."
The walk from the train station to Rei's apartment is a short one, only five minutes and a shoddy elevator ride up. Asuka spends most of that ride clinging to the rusted railings in the elevator, praying to a nonexistent god that it won't fail and send her plummeting to her death. Rei, by contrast, is a motionless statue in the center of the lift, her eyes focused on a small nick on the metal doors.
The elevator shudders to a stop several floors later, and Asuka leaps out, swearing never to do that again, while Rei brushes past her silently and moves to her door. She pushes it open, deposits her bag in the entry hall, and turns to face Asuka. "Thank you for keeping me company," she says, bowing again.
"I-it wasn't a big dea-" Asuka begins, then falls silent as Rei closes the distance between them with two short steps and presses their lips together. Her eyes go wide; her schoolbag and umbrella hit the floor, and she swears her heart just skipped a beat because Rei Ayanami is kissing her and she doesn't know how to react.
They part some brief seconds later, Rei retreating back into her doorway and Asuka seemingly staring off into space, stunned. She runs her fingers over her lips as the door to Rei's apartment begins to close, and it's not disgust or shock that wells up in her at that moment, but a sense of familiarity that propels her into motion. She manages to get her foot in the door before Rei closes it, and those crimson eyes hold her in regard as she stammers to get the words out. "I- Rei, what... that-"
"I am sorry if I was too forward," says Rei, her eyes shadowed by her bangs, which have dried and clumped together. "I apologize-" And this time it's Asuka's turn to cut her off, to grasp Rei gently but firmly by the chin and bring their mouths together. Asuka's tongue traces its way around Rei's soft lips, drawing a gasp from the albino. The pair stagger into the hall, where Asuka presses Rei up against the wall, their tongues meeting, and all Asuka can think of is how this is so right, so familiar.
A need for air makes them separate, breathing heavily, and Rei is smiling and Asuka feels her heart stutter again. "Do you think you would like to spend the night here, Asuka?" Rei asks. "It is late and it does not look like the rain will stop soon."
"I... sure. Let me call Misato and get my stuff."
"I will prepare some hot tea, then," says Rei, retreating into the apartment. Asuka stares at her receding back, and only when it has vanished from sight does she walk back to the entrance and collect her things. Her cell phone and Shinji's ID card have spilled from her bag; she picks up the first and stows away the second.
The call goes straight to voice mail, so Asuka doesn't resist the chance to leave a scathing message for Shinji about how it was his fault that she found the First Child wandering around Tokyo-3, soaked to the bone, that she had taken Rei home and would be staying there for the night, and how he was so very dead the next time she saw him. She hangs up with a vindictive sort of pleasure, only to find Rei standing behind her with an amused expression on her face.
"The water is boiling," Rei remarks. "Your message for Ikari was very... interesting. I did not realize I had gotten sick from our adventure."
"S-shut up! It's to make him feel bad, alright?"
"You should be nicer to him. After all, he is only trying to help."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll consider it." Asuka places her belongings next to Rei's and shuts the door behind her, a faint smile dancing across her lips. "So, how much time do we have until the water's boiled?"
"Enough," Rei replies, stepping closer to Asuka. The German all but envelops Rei in her arms, their lips meet, and there is nothing else to be said.