It started with a phone call. Barry had been running with his Empoleon to find and laugh at Ash again when his cell had gone off in his butt pocket. The vibration made him jump.
"Who wants my ass?" he grumbled, answering the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, is this John Issuki?" Barry stared blankly at Empoleon.
"Um... no? This is BARRY ISSUKI! FUTURE POKÉMON LEAGUE CHAMPION, BITCH!" he screamed into the phone. Empoleon shuffled away, looking embarrassed.
"I see. Do you know when John will be back?" the strange lady asked. Barry gritted his teeth.
"There is no John Issuki." he tried to say calmly. "There is only Barry John Issuki. Okay?"
"John Issuki?" Barry groaned. "We'd like to offer you a package deal on your cell phone. For just 23 Poké a month, we can-"
"-did you just hear what I said? THERE IS NO JOHN ISSUKI!" Empoleon watched from afar, amused. "Seriously, woman, do you not know who I am?"
"Who is the exact owner of this phone?" the lady chose to tactfully ignore that.
"I am... but my Mom pays for the bill."
"Her name?"
"Janice Issuki." he heard typing and really hoped this strange, annoying woman would go away.
"Janice Issuki?" she asked finally, a mouse clicking in the background.
"Yes. From Twinleaf-"
"We don't have her on file." Barry's jaw dropped.
"What did you just say?"
"Janice Issuki is not on file. Only John Issuki is." Barry ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.
"Lady?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Yes?"
"DON'T RING ME AGAIN OR I'LL FINE YOU 10000000000 POKÉ!" with that yell, Barry hung up the phone. Feeling satisfied now, he began to walk.
He walked four steps before the cell rang again. With a groan, Barry picked it up.
"Hello?"
"John Issuki?" that groan turned into a moan and he facepalmed.
"Look, lady, THERE. IS. NO. JOHN-" he heard a noise and nearly began to cry. "-are you playing Solitaire?" the sound was abruptly turned off.
"...No," the lady said hastily. "Anyway, I think I have found Janice Issuki."
"Oh, Thank Arceus for that. Can you please tell her that I-"
"-you will now be put through to our operator."
"Wait, WHAT? Hang on a-" the sound of elevator music soon was playing through the phone.
Barry growled and waited. And waited. And waited. He continued to check the time until a bored sounding man came on the line.
"Hello, Sinnoh Telecom, Roger speaking."
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? WHERE'S MY MOM? AND WHY DID YOU KEEP ME WAITING FOR HALF AN HOUR? I OUGHTA FINE YOU FIVE MILLION, BUDDY." Barry was fuming by now.
"I have a dad, you know." Roger was silent. "Well? Where's my Mom?"
The whole of Hearthome City heard that Roger from Sinnoh-fucking-Telecom should have a toothbrush shoved up his ass.
Nearly two hours after the phone call and several threats, Barry finally got it through the lady's thick head that he was NOT John Issuki and that John did not exist.
"Now, since you were nice I'm not gonna fine you, but you bet I will if you call me again, okay?" he asked. Empoleon was sound asleep on the bench.
"Yes, Barry Issuki. You have a lovely day."
"Yeah, yeah. Bye," he hung up, a smile now on his face."Empoleon, she's gone. Wake up." Empoleon sat up grudgingly and glared at him. "Don't give me that look. It's not my fault telecom people have no lives. Do you want a poffin?"
"Poleon!"
"Okay, let's go then."
Barry was glad to get into his room at the Pokémon Center later that night. Snuggling under his blankets, he sleepily bid goodnight to all of his Pokémon and was out like a light in seconds.
"BRING, BRING. BRING, BRING. BRING, BRING." Barry grumpily grabbed the cell.
"This better be important. Even I need my beauty sleep." he rubbed his eyes but then froze at the familiar voice that answered.
"Hi, is John Issuki there?"
"Fuuuu-"was all the lady heard as the cell went through the wall.
Based on a semi true story. XD I hate telecom workers.
