Twilighted

Shooting Stars and Champagne Bottles

Hello everyone, to answer your unspoken question, yes, I am still writing The Lion and The Badger, but I just needed a break from it I think. I have too many thoughts and too much going on in my life at the moment, and I'm also a little ADHD so my focus is sporadic at times. So, to procrastinate and actually post something vaguely resembling good writing, I've written this; a fanfic of twilight. It was going to happen sometime, I just hope it's good.

Enjoy?

Love, a Frazzled and Procrastinating Paula

Oh! Before I forget, there is some rather bad language in here because the protagonist gets really ticked off.

Playlist:

Tik Tok- Ke$ha

Should've said no- Taylor Swift

Fall For Anything- The Script

F*** You- Lilly Allen

Mean- Taylor Swift

It Ends Tonight- The All-American Rejects

Boston- Augastana

Fake Friends- Joan Jet

La La Lie- Jack's Mannequin

Liquid Confidence- You Me At Six

Through The Dark- KT Tunstall

You, with your words like knives and your swords and weapons that you use against me,

You, have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing.

You, with your switching sides and your wild fire lies and your humiliation,

You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them.

Mean; Taylor Swift

Guess what I'm done
Writing your book
The ending got twisted around
But for all the hell that it took

I've got friends who
La La Lie
Will help me pull through
La La Lie
La La La Lie

La la lie; Jack's Mannequin

"Nastya, have you seen my dictionary?" yelled my sister from her room.

"It's on the third shelf, next to the biological reference thingie!" I shouted back at Tatiana. While I was out partying late tonight with my friends, she'd be home studying. Sometimes I wondered whether there was a mix-up in the order we were born in. She was the responsible one; a conscientious student, OCD over being neat, and she always took care of me when I got home a little tipsy. She should have been the older, wiser sister; not me. I was the wild, free-spirited younger sibling who would disappoint her parents and be the main character in all of the stories my sister and friends would tell one day. I needed taking care of, Tati didn't.

From my room across the hall, I watched her go through the large bookcase that we stored all our textbooks, dictionaries and old school books in. It was nice to be so close to my sister- both geographically and in our relationship. I liked being able to yell across the passage that separated our rooms if I needed her help or to tell her goodnight. It was only when she was studying and I was trying to learn a new dance that the proximity of our rooms became a problem. She'd soon found a way to fix this of course- I had to write down all my dance practice times and when I had to go to rehearsals on the large calendar on the door to my room in bright purple pen. Once this happened I realised how useful it was to have all the dates down. So began Tati's lessons in organisation. Sadly this did not include time management with getting dressed. It was quite literally impossible for me to be ready in five minutes; those miracles were beyond me. Speaking of which- glancing at the clock above my mirror, I realised I was already meant to be there.

Damn it! Why do you insist on running away from me, Time? Aren't I a nice person?

It was Daisy's (one of my three best friends) birthday, and not only would she kill me if I was really late, but I was overly excited to give her my gift- I couldn't get to her house fast enough. It was a bit lavish, but I knew she'd love it. It was not opulent or caked in diamonds and stuff, but it had been custom made so it was pretty expensive. I'd spent weeks agonising over the design, trying to think if she'd prefer swirls to flowers, silver to white gold. I leant more towards silver, but that tarnished with time, and I wasn't sure I wanted a memory of our friendship to tarnish. That just seemed mean-spirited to wish our relationship would wear over time and look 'bad' to some people. So it was white gold with swirled vines and a few flowers (daisies of course). It now lay on my bed wrapped in the Tiffany turquoise paper which had been a bitch to stick down. I wasn't great with doing things with my hands- my handwriting was a testament to that- but I'd never thought it would be so hard to wrap a present.

I gave myself a final once-over in my full length mirror and smirked; I loved being me.

I had on bright blue All Stars with lyrics scribbled all over them in my sister's beautiful looped handwriting (Mercy, by OneRepublic), and a navy blue dress. Said dress had a wide, black sash, and a layered skirt that grazed a few inches above my knee. It was strapless, sequined, and made me feel like a million bucks. And you felt as good as you dressed; point of fact is that I never liked getting into unflattering clothes. Even my sweats had to look as good as possible. Yeah it was superficial and shallow to put so much importance on appearances, but as long as people had eyes, looks would always count for a lot.

My dark brown hair was curled nicely, falling to my shoulders in waves, framing my pretty little face. It had been a mission to do that- my hair was lovely; it did exactly what I wanted it to, until I actually wanted it to do something. It had taken large white mountains of mouse and my amazing hair-nazi-instant-gorgeousness spray for it to behave. I showed it who was boss. My hazel eyes were rimmed in a shimmery black liner that made them pop (I was vain okay, but even if I were modest I would know my eyes were gorgeous), and I had on a light pink lip gloss, and tiny bit of blush because my skin was pretty pale and didn't give me that rosy glow I longed for. The only thing left was to grab my bag which held the necessities and my jewellery -I never seemed to have time to put it on at home. Earrings that looked like angel wings (custom made of course), and a few rings of assorted stones set in silver; opal, sapphire, amber, lapis lazuli, and moonstone.

It was quirky, it was beautiful; it was me.

"The word I want isn't in here!" she cried, hyperventilating. I turned and saw her pacing her room, the dictionary in her hands with pages flicking so fast they blurred.

I sighed and skipped over to her, "what's the word?"

"Extemporaneities," she said.

Yea-ow, that's a mouthful.

I grimaced, "don't know that one, sorry."

She huffed and dropped the book on the ground. It made a nice big thwak on the pale wooden floorboards.

"What's the point of a damn dictionary if it doesn't have the word you're looking for?" she exclaimed.

"To you vex you no end?"

"Har har," she said, eyes rolling freakishly like mine did.

I grinned at her and whipped out my phone, typing the word into Google.

"Extemporaneities; inhibitions, reticence, discretion."

Tati sighed and smiled at me, "what would I do without you?"

"Write a strongly worded letter to the dictionary people?" I grinned, and then took out my camera. I was about to get a candid shot when she glanced at me.

"Uugh, Nastya, you know I hate photos."

"But why? You look so good in them!"

My sister was one of those disgustingly photogenic people who just can't have a bad picture taken if they tried. And I'd tried alright, resorting to sneaking snaps of her while she was eating. She just looked super seductive. It kinda killed me a bit inside. When I was eating, I looked like the Hulk going after someone's head, or a rabid Chihuahua. Not sure where the Chihuahua bit came from but oh well. Truly, the only problem I had with my sister (other than her insistence that clothes were not meant to be left lying around when the wearer was too tired to do anything but stumble into bed) was that she was so perfect I wanted to hate her, but she was so lovely I couldn't hate her. It was beyond irritating.

Click click click.

"Nastya! Come on, you'll be late!" she said, covering her face with her arms.

I grinned and inspected the photos, "this is a nice one. "

She rolled her eyes and put her head on her shoulder- yes, my younger sister was half a head taller than me. Laugh all you want, but I was the one who got our mom's cool eyes- they were anywhere from green, gold or brown. Hers were (an admittedly lovely) deep brown with gold flecks. I used to envy her eyes so much, until I realised I could make mine different colours depending on the light and what colour I lined them with.

"You're right, it is nice."

I smiled and hugged her goodbye, and then took off down the stairs, bag, camera and my new iPhone in hand (dad managed to score me and Tati free ones from work). I poked my head into the kitchen and noted Mom was at the stove with Greta our housekeeper, no doubt picking out some mouth-watering concoction for tonight, and told them I was off. Then it was a matter of sprinting to Dad's home office and quietly cracking open the door to tell him. He was on the phone as per usual. I waved to him, letting him know I was leaving now, he raised his hand to wave, but paused mid-way, glancing at his watch, and frowned.

"It takes time to look this fabulous," I said with a smile, then shut the door and went to meet Daz, our new driver. I wasn't quite sure why we got a new one, but I wasn't really included in these kinds of decisions.

"Running late again Miss Anastasia?"

"Well I have to make an entrance don't I?" I replied with a grin. I only let people I really knew and liked call me Anja- that was a personal nickname, not some title to be tossed around like a cheap ball. You had to earn the right to be that familiar with me. Besides, my name is regal, so I like hearing it- yeah yeah I know; I'm arrogant, so what? At least I'm not some frightened little mouse who thinks she's ugly and stupid.

We were on the road and in the fast moving traffic soon, and I was revelling in the buttery, chocolate leather seats of the BMW dad had just got. With the launch of the iPhone 4 and dad's wonderful new adverts for it, we'd been getting a lot of new stuff lately. We didn't exactly need it- working as the head of advertising at Apple meant my family wanted for nothing, yet dad was always yammering on about the value of a dollar and blah blah blah. Short version of his speeches- it's okay to buy cool new stuff that you really don't need as long as you realise what you're spending your money on, and you work hard.

Mom was sort of the opposite; she could blow a grand in one afternoon and not even remember what she spent it on. She was impulsive, free spirited and loved pretty things to distraction. I was like her, while Tati was like Dad; sensible, punctual, but with a good sense of humour. Mom didn't have a job so much as a hobby- she painted, and sculpted and just generally did a lot with her hands. Dad bought her a little building for her to open up as an Art Gallery. She's been even busier than usual after that. Tati had inherited her artistic talents. I was alright at drawing, I mean, I liked sketching and I was pretty good at drawing eyes and basic facial structure, but once again Tati bested be in that department. She was so talented; I swelled with pride every time she asked me to sit for her. Me, sit as a model for her. Mum was much better because I fidgeted so much, but she claimed that when she was drawing me she always felt good. I've got a few of her sketches on my walls, all in lovely gold frames around my bed. The one thing that bothered me about her mountains of talent? She was far too modest. She blushed every time I boasted of them, and kicked up a huge fuss when I wanted some of her sketches framed. If I had half her talent, I'd make sure people knew about it. Then again, I was the dancer; no one, but no one upstaged me in dancing. I didn't much like ballet, but I still kicked butt. My tap was enough to send Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire back to their tutors, and my hip hop- well, I was amazing.

Not that I bragged.

Well, only a little when people doubted me. Whenever I got a compliment, I always said 'I know right?' and laughed and said thank you and would find something to compliment them on. I knew I was quite cocky, but I kept my ego in check generally. I think. I hope.

"Miss Anastasia?"

"Hmm?" I'd zoned out as usual. I needed to pay more attention to when people were talking to me.

Daz smiled, "we're nearly there, I said. Where did you go off to?"

I grinned back, "away with the fairies again, sorry. They just like kidnapping pretty things you see," and I laughed to show I was making fun, not fishing for a compliment. Daz laughed too, and we spent the last few minutes chatting about our favourite childhood fairytales. I'd always been more for the twisted gothic type- where fairies were cunning and cheeky things and princesses faced great challenges and evil on their own before they got their happily ever after. So basically I like the original stories Disney modelled their versions on. Everything else was just too…. Bubble gummy. Too perfect, for me. That's why Harry Potter will always, always be my favourite book series. It had true grit, and was so much like the world we lived in. That, and who wouldn't want to read about magic and a school like Hogwarts?

Pulling up to Daisy Stersen's house was akin to reaching a second home for me. A home with a gate covered in pink. Pink balloons, glitter, ribbons, bows, and all manner of girly paraphernalia. I wrinkled my nose; I liked pink, but Daisy adored it. To excess.

"I take it there's a party going on?" joked Daz.

"Could be," I said and hopped out of the car and onto the pavement. I turned to smooth my dress and wave goodbye to Daz. Skipping up the pathway to the front door, I put on my jewellery (forgot to do it in the car. Silly me). There was time for one quick swipe of lipgloss and a smile at my reflection as I neared the house.

The door was wide open, two people having entered just before me. Turned away from me was the svelte figure of Louise Stersen; architect and Lady in Varying Shades of White, Brown and Blue. Tonight she had opted for a white skirt, powder blue blouse, pearls and tan pumps.

Oh Louise, when will you wear something brighter than pastel?

"Hi Louise," I greeted Daisy's mum. "Where's the birthday girl?"

"Anja! I was wondering when you'd get here," she said with a wink- I wasn't exactly known for my punctuality. "She's in her room with Jayden and Georgia. I'm sure they'd love to know you were here."

I smiled, put my gift on the present pile, and headed for the stairs. Georgia (Georgie) and Jayden (Jayd) were my other two partners in crime.

Jayden and I had bonded over a rather odd circumstances. She'd moved to Boston five years ago from Canada of all places- she assures me she had nothing to do with Justin Beiber and that Canada cannot be held responsible for the error of two of its citizens. However we'd met two years prior to that when we were at the New England Aquarium. My sister loved going there because she loved learning (yeah, she was a weird kid), but I just like looking at all the pretty things- the patters the water made, the fish, and most importantly, the seal show and The Edge Of The Sea touch tank. I loved picking up the gigantic clams and having water fights with my sister- granted we would never get far because the staff were party poopers (how is spraying each other with the water the clams spit at you hurting the animals?). It was during one such visit that I encountered a very bored looking Jayden- her three older brothers were busy moping because they'd missed seeing the sharks get fed, and all poor Jayd wanted was to go and hold a starfish. So I convinced an eight year old Tati it was our duty as Bostonians to help the poor girl. So we snuck up to her and said if she came with us, we could take her to the starfish. Long story short, I got in big trouble for practically kidnapping Jayd when her parents panicked when they couldn't find her. Never mind the fact that we'd told her brothers- they were too upset they'd missed the gore. Well we got a picture of us holding up starfish that day, I still have it in my purse. Then two years later she pitches up at school and hey-presto we're best friend for life. Georgia was an entirely different matter- she'd been in my class for nearly every year, but for some reason we were never friends until I was put into a team with her in PE, she was always so quiet and I was… loud. Very loud. Anyways, on this fateful PE lesson, I learned the hard way that Georgie has a mean serve; she hit me in the eye. We ended up cracking jokes while the nurse gave me some ice. I had a lovely shiner for two weeks, but when it was gone Daisy, Georgie and I were practically inseparable.

As I went up the stairs, proof of this littered the walls. The Stersen's had one of those loft-type designs where all the important stuff (living room, patios, bedrooms, two bathrooms, spa room and two studies)were upstairs, while the kitchen, bathroom and a few other boring rooms for storage and such were down stairs. Of course the kitchen was where I spent most of my time, but Daisy was a health freak like her mom so there was never anything a normal teen would want in there. Which was alright seeing as we weren't normal (blech), but I think the contents of her fridge probably had a total calorie count of 207. Seriously- they had soy milk instead of full-cream or skim. I think it was because of Daisy and her kooky dairy products that I ended up preferring tea over coffee.

In fact, there were at least three shots of us in that kitchen. We were everywhere; ice-skating on Christmas Eve, at the beach near Georgie's summer home in St Barthes. The annual Halloween photos of us in awesome costumes, and a few of us at school sports days and carnivals. We were always in the middle of the action, hardly ever off to the side. I didn't like to wait on sidelines and watch life go by. I wanted to live it.

It was hard to wind my way through people as there were more here than there had ever been before. I said hi, had a short conversation here and there. It was almost impossible to go two steps without being stopped. For a while I was stuck at the snack table, munching on pistachio nuts while I chatted with some school friends, looking around occasionally to see who was here and trying to get to my girls. I was anxious to get away, but the more I talked, the less worried I became. It was a party, and I was only five or so minutes late.

Then I saw just the person I wanted to see; my boyfriend of eight months; Aiden. I'd made some pretty bad choices before Aiden, but now I knew better. He was gorgeous, inside and out. Always holding doors for me, helping me with my books, telling me just how much I meant to him.

Winding through the clumps of people which littered Daisy's living room, I noticed he was standing very close to someone, looking to be in deep conversation. As I got closer, I noted the person seemed to be a girl in a bright purple top. I stopped to great a few friends, wanting to let him finish his conversation before I dragged him off into the nearest corner- I had needs okay? When I turned back he was still standing with her though, his back to me. From this angle it almost looked like-

No. no no no please Godric no. I walked urgently towards them and saw it was indeed a she, and that Aiden-

Aiden was… was wrapped in the arms of some skank.

Oh fuck my life.

This was not happening now. Not on Daisy's birthday, when I was meant to be all happy. Aw shit now I was going to have to kick his arse and then cry when I got home. God I hated being a girl sometimes. Why couldn't I be a guy- they didn't care as much as we did when they caught someone cheating. Bastards.

I marched up to them and tapped Skanky girl on the shoulder. Alright I dug my nail in each time, but they were short so it didn't count. She pulled her tongue from his mouth with a sound like the last remains of a bubble bath being slurped down a drain.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

I smiled, "yes, I'd like to know why your slutty paws are on my boyfriend."

Her eyes got big; apparently Aiden hadn't told her he was taken. Well he wouldn't have to worry about that for much longer.

"You said you dumped her!"

Say what now?

"Liz, I can explain-"

"What's to explain?" I cut in. "You just got caught lying to her and cheating on me. I think the situation explains itself!"

"Ana-" I couldn't stop myself, my hand rose of its own accord and I slapped him. He was just lucky I hadn't had time to make a fist. He looked at me with a mix of surprise and anger. God he was such a bullshitter! He had no right to be angry!

"I hate you, get out," I said bluntly and pointing to the door.

"You can't-"

"I invited you, and now I'm uninviting you. Get out."

"This isn't even your house!" he cried in frustration.

"It might as well be!" I yelled back. Daisy and I had always been as thick as thieves.

"As for you," I rounded 'Liz' the skank, "you should learn not to date people who are in a relationship. Sadly I did not invite you, so I won't throw you out. I'll get Daisy to."

She narrowed her eyes at me, "I wouldn't just think Daisy is going to do whatever you want, she's not your slave."

I was taken aback for a moment, "Daisy has been my best friend since the second grade, I think she'll understand when I tell her I want you thrown out."

"I'm her cousin; blood is thicker than water and all that."

"Maybe, but friendship is thicker than both, now get away from me before I hurt you."

Please don't let her realise that's from The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.

She raised an eyebrow but moved. Bitch.

I fished out my iPod and jammed the earphones into my ears, swinging over to Lilly Allen. I hid inside the closet in the hall that Jayd and I used to pretend was Harry Potter's when we were younger. God I missed those days; the biggest drama in my life was someone being better at handstands than me. I should have known Aiden was just the same as all the other guys I'd dated; he made big mistakes that I'd forgive always because he promised he'd do better. He was so sarcastic that sometimes he hurt me with his comments. He only had two settings; charming and sweet with endearing kisses when we were in public or around my family and friends. Caveman-ish and rough in private, as if he was always trying to get into my pants.

I went through F*** You three times before going back to the party. I had to find Daisy- if rumours started flying I wanted her to know the truth. I also wanted my best friends at my side while I had to smile and laugh like nothing had happened tonight. God Aiden was such a prick! What had I ever seen in that douche?

I found my way to Daisy's room with some trouble- there were so many people that needed to be greeted and charmed along the way, so it was well over half an hour before I got there. I'm not sure which puzzled me more about Daisy- that she wanted to make a grand and dramatic entrance by being late to her own party, or that she'd choose to have her door open so anyone could come in. Surely the whole point was that no one would see her before she was ready. Meh, her choice.

"Hey Daze, don't know if you've noticed, but there's a bunch of people in your house asking for you," I said when I came in. I grinned widely when I saw her- she looked like a princess. Her lovely blonde hair fell in spiral curls past her shoulders, her icy blue eyes were rimmed in gold and lips a sweet pink that matched her floaty mini dress. She wore golden gladiator sandals tucked under her hot pink armchair. I liked Daisy's room, but at the same time it was so pink and girly and frilly I almost wanted to ask her how old she was. Of course I wasn't much better in terms of my closet- I still had a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt I pulled out for special occasions. Georgie and Jayd flanked her sides. Jayd in a shimmering yellow dress that had a long slit up her leg, and next to her was Georgie in a soft green bubble dress with silver pumps. Both of them had their dark brown hair in glossy up-do's.

Merlin's boxers you three look simply divine.

"I just caught Aiden cheating on me!" was what came out.

I was expecting some sort of sympathy- all I got was a shared look between them all and a few twitching brows. Then they came forward and silently gave me a great big hug- but somehow it wasn't… it didn't feel right. Something was up.

"I'm sorry I dropped it on you like that- it's just, well I don't want to go through it alone and I kinda made a scene and kicked him out. So if the rumour mill starts turning I don't want you guys to be surprised or something." Now was probably not the best time to ask for Daze to throw out her cousin.

They cooed nice things in my ears as they led me over to Daisy's big poofy bed, rubbing my back for a while. Their touches were different than usual- almost distant. Maybe their nails were wet, though I didn't smell the familiar fumes of nail-polish. They probably want to get to the party- you're holding them up.

I stretched a stiff smile onto my face and tried to sound chipper, "we'd better go out there and great the people huh? They're probably wondering where you are Daze." My hand was on the knob, waiting to go out there and forget about all this, but I heard no movement behind me. I turned to see them all still sitting on the bed. It looked like glamorous movie stars holding court or something.

Daisy nudged Georgie, who looked like she was about to be shot.

"What's wrong Georgie? You alright?" she looked uncomfortable, like there was something strangling her from the inside. I must have been too caught up in my own drama to notice. I smiled encouragingly; she needed to get this off her chest. Might as well get all the dirty laundry out before the party starts so we can have a good time.

"Ana, we um. Well we feel that – that you're… that we're not the right friends for you anymore."

She'd always hated opening up and confrontation- I had a hunch it was because she was so shy generally.

Wait a sec- what did she just say?

"We feel like we've grown up a lot over the past few years," said Georgie, shifting from foot to foot.

"Wh-what?" the ground felt less sturdy then it was a minute ago.

"Ana, we just don't click anymore. I mean, you're just… we've grown up. You haven't; you want to climb trees and pretend you can do spells and just generally mess around like a ten year old," interrupted Jayd.

I think my eyes were going to pop out their sockets. What the hell was going on here?

"Huh? I don't get it- is this a joke or something? Because it's really not funny."

Georgie looked a bit abashed; Jayd looked impatient.

"It's- it's not that we don't like you anymore, it's just that we're not the same people we were when we became friends," stammered Georgie.

"I don't get it," I repeated. "I mean of course you've changed, we all have. I just don't understand why that would make you… would lead to… I- I don't understand why you're saying this!" I said, searching for answers and the right words.

"Because you're a selfish, attention seeking bitch!" cut in Jayd.

And now the truth comes out. I never knew she had it in her to be that mean. Strike that, I just never knew she could be that mean to me.

For a brief moment I lost touch with what they were saying, what I was thinking, if I was breathing; all I was aware of was the pounding of my heart as it bled into my chest. What was going on? It was like they were stuffing their hands into me and tearing me apart from the inside.

"We were going to tell you after the party, but…" Georgie trailed off.

"I… I don't mean to be," I began to respond to Jayd's accusation. "I know I'm mean sometimes and I know that I like being in the limelight, but I don't try and steal attention away from you guys-"

"But you do!" said Daisy. "Even tonight, on my birthday, you are stealing my thunder. "

"How am I doing that?" I asked pleadingly.

"You just had to announce that Aiden was cheating on you tonight, with my cousin no less! And then you throw him out!" Each word was drawn out, finishing in a clipped tone. It was like she was trying to hit me with them.

"Because he was! When else would I tell you? Next week when I see him wrapped in another sk- person's arms? I can't control what other people do!"

"You didn't have to throw him out!"

"Well what was I meant to do Daisy? Let him go on kissing her and just stand there? Pretend I didn't know while everyone started talking about it?"

"You just can't let anyone else have fun, can you?" shouted Jayd

"What?" now that was just ridiculous. I made sure everyone had fun. I noticed now that I had folded my arms at some point and was now giving myself an unintentional hug. I damn well need one!

"You always have to have the biggest smile, the loudest laugh. Be the first one to get on a ride; it's all a competition to you," Georgia said in a low voice. As if saying it a little quieter would hurt less.

"And you can never let anyone be the star of the show, it's always you you you! Upstaging us, stealing the show, getting all the glory," screamed Daisy.

Slowly I nodded, knowing I did tend to hog the spot light. I just couldn't help it- but I wasn't this monster they made me out to be! I wasn't…

"I know I've done that once or twice. Maybe a few times, but never-"

"It's not just tonight, Ana, it's every time you're around! You're always doing something crazy and different that the rest of us can't compete with," said Jayd.

"What do y-"

"You climb trees and dance like a professional lunatic in public. You dress up like you don't care what anyone thinks, like you just throw on whatever comes to your hands, but you take so long doing it that we know it's all a calculated plan. Then you make huge scenes, like throwing Aiden out, and what about last week? You found that pair of white lace gloves and started calling everyone 'my dear lady' or 'my good sir'. It was humiliating!"

"Why is climbing trees so bad? And I thought you thought it was funny when I did that, I even threw in a curtsy just for you! I don't understand," I choked, trying to get the fire in the back of my throat to calm the hell down and leave me alone.

"You constantly belittle our achievements," spat out Jayd. "Whenever I talk about something amazing that I've done, you always come right back with something better."

"It's always got to be about you," said Daisy stonily.

The way they were listing these things, it sounded like they were reciting a speech. Had they been practising? Waiting to do this at just the right moment? How long had this gone on for? How long had they hated me? I didn't understand. Everything had been fine; I'd never even suspected they felt this way. How could I not have noticed?

"We're sick of it, Ana."

"Yeah, we're not taking your shit anymore," clarified Georgia. If the situation were not so horribly serious, I might have laughed- I'd never heard Georgia swear.

I looked from one to the other, totally lost. Have I really been so careless? Have I become such a monster?

"Oh don't look at us like that, you have had this coming for years," Jayden hissed.

I didn't understand, why were they saying this? I hadn't done half the things they'd said on purpose, it was just who I was. I had never tried to take anything away from them, let alone their glory.

I couldn't deal with this now. Every single nerve was telling me to get the hell out of there, and my eyes were so hot I was probably blubbing already. I wouldn't let them see me cry, I wouldn't! However I felt a fat bead of liquid slide down my face just then. Fuck it. I wiped it away sullenly, and looked at their feet because my eyes weren't strong enough to meet their anymore. I opened my mouth slightly, then licked my lips to try and lure the words to my mouth. What could I say? A spiteful part of me wanted to hurl abuse back at them, to defend myself. But even hough I felt my heart bleeding and falling apart from their words, I couldn't bring myself to hurt them.

"Are you finished?" I asked eventually. There was a tense pause. I looked up briefly and almost laughed. I knew these girls inside out, I knew every tiny nuance of expression. And now I could see that they were back peddling furiously to try and detatch themselves from the murder they had commited. They too could see my heart bleeding, see a part of my drawing its last breath. And while I doubted they were sorry they'd done this to me, I could see in their eyes a need to wash the blood from their own hands. They wanted this for me, they just didn't want to admit to their part in it. Fucking spineless cowards.

"Ana-"

"You don't get to call me that anymore," I snapped, eyes pining them where they stood. I drew in a shakiy breath and with it the last of my strength. I stood defiantly and looked at them. My head was high, my tears had stopped flowing but still dripped from my chin, and my fists clenched at the sides.

"Are you finished?" I repeated. They murmured 'yes', and began to lower their own eyes. "Happy birthday, Daisy."

Her eyes flicked up to mine again in surprise. "I hope you all enjoy the party." Now they were all looking at me. Good. I wanted them to see me leave. I wanted them to watch me go. I was an attention seeker after all.

The second I was on the other side of the door, I was in a world that had ceased to exist to me. The music was loud and upbeat, there were tons of people talking and laughing, and the sound of glasses clinking and the usual jumping of dancers echoed throughout the space. It was a world oblivious to how mine had just imploded. The only thing I wanted was to go home and weep into my pillow like the little weakling I was. All false bravado and courage was gone, now I was just a little girl who desperately needed to get out of this place. I half ran from the room and headed down the stairs. I walked past smiles and laughs, people in great outfits all shiny and ready for a good time. Squeezing unnoticed through a crowd had never been a wish of mine, well not unless I was playing hide and seek or something. Even then though, I always wanted to be noticed; there was no fun in anything if you weren't found. Then there was no sport, and you may just as easily have been forgotten or left in favour of better company. God I felt morbid; like an emo at a pep rally watching the cheerleaders smile and get the crowd psyched up.

How the hell had a … a three minute conversation totally defeated me? This was ridiculous. God my life was going to shit in the space of one evening.

Daisy's mum caught me getting my bag and looked perplexed, "Ana, are you alright?"

I smiled weakly, "I'll survive. I gotta get going L- Mrs Stersen. " I don't have the right to call her Louise anymore. "I hope you and your guests have a wonderful time."

She looked worried but offered me a smile, "I'll see you on Friday for the movie night."

The surety in her voice rattled me further, "I don't think so. I'm not exactly welcome anymore," I mumbled quietly.

Now she looked confused. That makes two of us. "What do you mean? You're always welcome-"

"Bye Mrs Stersen. Have a good evening."

With that I'd bolted from the house and was heading down to the corner of the road. Mrs Stersen was too good a hostess to leave her daughter's party, so I needn't be worried of her following me.

I walked to the corner and dialled my driver's number. Sure, Daz was surprised to get a call this soon after he dropped me. He was not surprised though when I climbed in, eyes resembling those of a cheetah, with my earphones firmly stuck in and my bottom lip dragging on the ground. He said nothing, and for that I was grateful.

I sat silently in the back of the car staring at the blurred lights, listening to my Broken Hearts and Tired Souls playlist. Funny, I never thought I'd have to listen to it because of my 'friends'. Boys, sure. School and stress, always. Dancing? Sometimes; I wanted to do everything perfectly and do it fast, and it was always frustrating when my teacher was being a bitch, or I didn't get the part I wanted. But never them. They'd always been the ones to help me out of my misery, not push me into it.

"They're not worth it."

"What?" I'd gone over to planet Woop Woop again. This time I wasn't as annoyed with myself. I was more annoyed with Daz for actually talking.

"I said they're not worth it."

"How do you know that?" I fired back. "How do you know it wasn't all my fault? That I was the one to blame, that I brought this all on m-myself because I was a s-stupid, arrogant, att-ttention seeking, immature monster?" By this stage I was fighting not to have a break down. What had I done wrong? When had this all started? Dear God, was there any way I'd be able to make it up to them?

I only knew the answer to the last one; No. Things would never be the same. I'd never again go out with 'my girls' or giggle until the early hours over silly things with them. I'd never get them back. I'd just fucked everything up beyond all repair.

"Because you loved those girls like they were your sisters. Maybe even more. If they can't appreciate you then they aren't worth your time and effort."

It vaguely occurred to me that i hadn't said anything about what had happened really, I just assumed that it was obvious.

I tried to smile a bit, but the curve failed and straightened almost immediately. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged my legs. It was a good thing I wasn't wearing heels, or I'd scuff the leather and dad would kill me.

"You're a good girl, Anastasia. Sure you have your faults, but so does everyone. You're kind and compassionate, and I've never seen anyone quite so alive as you. You stick to what you believe, and protect the people you love. I'm not sure what they said, but I know you're a tough girl. You'll pick yourself up from this, and you'll keep going. It's who you are."

Why did he have to be so nice when all I wanted to do was tell him to shut up? That I was a monster, and I wanted to wallow in my misery and self-pity. He was so sweet though, and it meant all the more after what had just happened.

"Thanks Daz. This… this means more than you could know," I said with a tight jaw, my soul so heavy it was nailing me to the dark leather seat. I couldn't move; it just wasn't possible.

Daz didn't know me- he couldn't know what he was talking about.

"It'll be okay. Hey look, a falling star! Make a wish."

I laughed damply, "don't tell me that you believe in that stuff."

I saw his frown reflected in the mirror, "not really, but why not? There's nothing that says it can't happen. Why not take a chance?"

I laughed again in agreement, feeling a bit better. And so, with Augastana's Boston mixing with the engine's low rumble, and my tears dripping from my chin onto my All Stars, I made a wish. A silly wish, a wish that I really wasn't sure would help my situation if it came true- which it wouldn't.

I wish that something huge could happen in my life. That I could be taken away from all the mess here and start over.

It was silly really. I didn't want to leave, but I wanted something to happen. Everything was going so right, and then…

I huffed. Then I went and messed everything up. Hell, at sixteen, 80% of people have already found the person they're going to marry. It was a scientific fact. At seventeen, I just lost the people I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

The drive wasn't nearly long enough. I was still miserable with no slight glimmer of positivity when I got home. And when I got through the door, I had to sneak around Mom so she wouldn't ask questions. Tati was the only one I'd let see me cry.

I snuck up the stairs and into my sister's room. The door was open, and she was lying on her bed reading with her back against the pale wooden headboard, totally oblivious to the world around her. For a moment I hesitated- I wasn't sure if I wanted to shatter her little bubble of peace. She was the only one who could help me though, and I knew she'd find out sooner or later. Sniffing, I padded over the creamy carpet and gently shook one of her bare feet.

"Nastya! How was th-" she looked up and say my face. She knew in that instant exactly how it had been. She dropped her book and crawled over to me. My legs kind of buckled beneath me as I sat down on the edge of the bed. Her arms encircled me, and she began rubbing my back like she always did when I was unhappy.

"What happened?" she said, her eyes as big as the puffy pillows behind her. She had this look on her face like she was angry at something she was confused about.

"Aiden was cheating on me, and the girls just un-friended me."

Her eyelids flew back even further, brows rose from their 'v', and her lips parted slightly.

"I need chocolate," I said pathetically. "And alcohol."

"Okay," Tati said, still rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"I'm not asking," I said grumpily. My sister was used to me, so she'd understand.

She laughed, "Maybe this is why they left you hmm?"

A knife went through my heart and I blinked a million times before I could glare at her.

"Too soon?" she asked weakly.

"Ya think?" I choked. For all my sister's wisdom, she had little tact. She did however, have speed and knew exactly how to make me feel better. Within minutes she had me propped up on my bed, surrounded by assorted chocolate boxes and a bottle of JC le Roux pink champagne (because it was cooler than the normal stuff), with my Mac (Wendy) playing A Very Potter Musical.

Escapism was my forte. I didn't like to dwell- I cry if I must, and then look for a distraction.

We laughed and sang along. After our loud rendition of Dance Again, My mom came in. She took one look at my face and was suddenly across the room. She held me and asked what was wrong, which just set me off again. She called Aiden a good for nothing loser and went to get me more food. The thing about my mom was that although we didn't spend much time together because of her busy schedule and everything, but I knew she cared. She also made an effort to stay 'hip' for me and Tati. Never mind that using the word 'hip' made you anything but.

I went over every minute of what happened and something hit me- I'd never told Daisy who Aiden was cheating on me with. She'd known. I don't know for how long, but she'd known that Aiden was being a dirtbag, and she hadn't told me. She'd known that her cousin was whoring around with my boyfriend and she'd decided that I deserved to have it happen to me.

This little epiphany just made me cry harder, which made me more frustrated, which just made me even more upset. After a while I was hiccupping so badly that Tati had to tell Mom the story.

By eleven I was exhausted, and so they left me alone to get some sleep. I didn't go to sleep though. I just sat on my bed drinking glass after glass of champagne, not caring about how sore my head would be tomorrow. I didn't want to fall asleep remembering any of this.

Unfortunately all that crying mad me far too tired to try and burry the memories sitting up. Lying down with my head on the pillow, I glared out my window at the sky. Why did it look the same as every other night? Why was the world the same? Surely something should show how totally upside-down my own little world was? The fatigue started coming in stronger, and at a point I think I might have been drifting in and out of consciousness, because suddenly the twinkling stars turn into laughing party guests, all mocking my situation. The moon was a huge disco ball, it's beam a strobe light. The laughter got louder and the stars got strobe light got brighter.

"Stop it," I muttered. "Stop laughing." But the laughing turned into screaming, and the screaming turned into harsh words being hurled like daggers by my 'friends'. The pounding beat of the music was now in time with the hurtful words, and every beat seemed to tear a little further into me.

Behind my lids the light was growing blinding, the pain in my heart drove me to the brink of insanity and back, running red lights the whole way.

"Please," I whimpered to the empty air, which suddenly lacked oxygen. "Go away. Just leave me alone."

I felt warm tears glide across my cheeks, let out a muffled cry, and buried my face into the pillow, half thinking that suffocation may be a kinder fate than having to wake up.

My body felt heavy, and then weightless. With the weightlessness came a searing sensation, as if I was being burned alive. There was no air to breathe, no voice to scream with, and the only thing I saw was a blinding grey light. How the hell a grey light was blinding I don't know.

Then everything abruptly stopped. I felt the bed beneath me, the air around my face as I gulped it in, saw dark shapes outlined in my room, and heard the sounds of the house settling, and my sister's breathing across the hall.

I brought my hand up to my face, expecting cold sweat, as I always had when I had a nightmare. There was nothing, my skin was freezing, but nothing more. Still panting, I lay back down and rolled over.

Memo to self; no more self-pitying booze parties before bed. That shit messes with your mind.

Oh my god! The lights! Somebody turn out the goddamn lights! I hastened to pull the sheet over my face, and attempted to avoid consciousness.

Ouch… Ugh my head hurts, and why was everything pounding?

I cracked open an eye and realized that it was raining heavily outside.

I smiled slightly, I liked the rain. Through my sheet the light wasn't nearly as bad, and as my eyes adjusted to it, I sighed, wishing I hadn't woken up so fully. Now I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

With a groan I pushed back the sheet and tried not to cry out when my feet hit the floor of ice. Where was my heater? I groggily turned around in a circle confused as to what I was doing. I decided to forget the heater as my bladder had just decided it couldn't hold out for very long. I walked two steps and stopped. My mini couch was meant to be at the foot of my bed with my slippers. Where the hell had it gone? I blinked. Why the hell was there no carpet on my floor? I have two in my room. Had mom decided to redecorate while I slept? My blood started to simmer. My room was my sanctuary, no one messed with it. Ever. I'd deal with her after I went to the bathroom.

Two more steps and I stopped again. This time my eyes widened and I was totally awake. I spun around. What the hell was going on? This isn't my room!

Crap!

I turned around again. The room was purple, dream catchers hung from the ceiling and old crayon drawings that I certainly hadn't done, papered the walls. A weird cardboard tube painted like a bad imitation of an African… something, was in the corner. A very battered teddy bear sat in an old rocking chair, staring back at me. As if I was the weird thing here.

What the spell is going on here?

I looked at the ancient PC and the dusty computer stand.

No way in hell is that mine, Wendy is one of my best friends.

Oh my god, I hadn't swapped bodies or something had I? No way in hell could I deal with that right now. I spun around three times, trying to locate a mirror. Rushing to the cupboard I flung open the door and- thank God- found a full length one on the inside of one of the doors. I looked in the mirror and took stock- I was still me.

Thank you, God.

I looked down to see my Harry potter shirt and green silk pyjama pants.

Right, now to find something which had a date on it. There was a calendar on the dusty desk, proclaiming it was in fact still August, and I don't think anyone forgets to change their calendars for over a decade, so presumably I was in the same year.

Well, at least I hadn't turned into a time-traveller or something. That might have freaked me out a little bit more.

I looked properly around the room now, taking note of the creepy teddy, an old pink sock, and a wardrobe filled with boxes and fishing reels. There were some pictures aside from the crayon drawings. Photographs of trees, and a lake, and a really tiny chinchilla, and a few of people I didn't know. Suddenly my eyes zeroed in on the farthest left, in a white frame. That picture stood out from the rest: a picture of a very grumpy little girl dressed in a tutu, and two adults. A girl with Chocolate brown eyes, brown hair, and a smiling mother.

Shit.

"No. No this can't be happening. I don't even like Twilight!"

What the hell is going on here? Why was I in what presumably had to be Bella Swan's room? This was not okay. This was NOT right.

Maybe I was having a night terror or something.

I pinched myself hard; I had to wake up from this. I could not be living out some silly Twihard adventure. I had long ago realised that Twilight was poorly written with Mary-Sue characters, old and cliché plot lines and far too much glitter for my liking. Granted I'd thought it was amazing at first, but I knew better now. I knew that it wasn't real literature, and I knew Stephenie Meyer was a pathetic authoress.

So why the hell was I in some twisted reality where I was living out some screaming Edward fan's dream?

Breathe, Anja, breathe. It's going to be ok. You'll be laughing about this soon enough.

What do I do? How the hell am I getting out of here? How in the name of all that is good and chocolatey did I even get here?!

Cell phone; I needed my phone. Maybe someone had sent me a message or I'd told someone that I was going to find a way into a teen novel.

God, I must have been really drunk if I chose 'Twilight'. I finally found my phone stuck in my shoe of all places. I held it up and tried to turn it on, but it stubbornly refused to resurrect itself. Damn, no battery.

Right, if I found a phone, I could call my parents, and have them fetch me. They had to exist, even if I was stuck in a book, right?

I shook my head- this was all some weird alcohol induced dream. I wasn't really here. This wasn't real. Even if it was, I was getting the hell out. I just need to go and find a phone, call Tati, and get my ass out of here.

I slowly crept down the stairs, flinching at the cold floorboards. Had they never heard of heating?

Oh wait, this was Forks, chilling, boring and above all, wet. From the way Meyer described it, it sounded like a gloomy, boring rainforest.I mean, I really like the rain, but it just wasn't healthy to have this weather so often when you weren't in Europe.

"There you are Anastasia," said a cheerful voice. A voice that sounded slightly gruff, like there was one small piece of loose gravel stuck in a voice box. It was a pleasant voice, one that could belong to only one person. Character. Whatever.

Slowly I turned on my heel to meet six brown eyes. My own hazel ones bugged out of my head. There was no way. There was just no way this was happening.

"You alright there, Anastasia?" asked a man with a bushy moustache. A man dressed in a police uniform with a worn brown leather jacket and slightly thinning hair.

Charlie Swan, chief of police.

Right, so I know that was a lot happening really really fast, but I wanted to start with a boom. For visuals, Anja (pronounced ah-un-ya) is Lucy Hale, and her sister Tatiana is Selena Gomez. Any ideas for what her parents could look like would be great.

The New England Aquarium and the attractions I mentioned are real, and if you are heading out to Boston or live there (Ah! I have people all over the world reading this! How cool?) any information would be great. Yes I know we've now moved to Forks, but come on, Anja's going to be homesick.