Ekari: ok, this story is the product of eating like 3 italian ices and cappucino.

Furfaidz: SKITTLES SMOKE THE RAINDOW: We had a blast with this one, Ekari is good at making names:D You'll see why ;P

Jack Sparrow walks in with his girly prance, waving his arms around.

"Where am I? I was told there'd be rum. two things a man should never lie about: money and rum."

Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars...

" VODKA!"

Jack Sparrow...

" It's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow."

CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow...

Jack sits next to the chair.

Jack Sparrow, he's actually Johnny Depp

" Johnny who? No, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow- I'm not that gay fag, Johnny Depp."

Pft...hehehe... Jack Sparrow... he had a crush on his 2nd grade teacher...

" I'm a PIRATE, Savvy, I didn't go to school. Besides, he wasn't my type."

Jack Sparrow... he's not really a pirate... he's a ballerina...

" WHAT THE censored!? I'M A BLOODY PIRATE! A CAPTAIN!!"

Jack Sparrow... he plays with Barbies...

" What's a 'Barbie'?"

A small doll with blond hair and blue eyes and a perfect body...

" Like the one I did last night?"

" 'Ello?"

Jack...Sparrow... ummm... he has a naked Will Turner poster in his cabin...

" Sorry, but my first and only love is the sea."

That's not what you said last night.

" Who is this?"

Um- Elizabeth paid me!!

" Barbie?"

Jack Sparrow, he picks his bogers when the camera is off..

" I especially like the red ones."

Jack Sparrow, he actually DID get Will Turner to do strange things to his dog... whose name is Timmy...

" I don't know what you're talking about!"

Bibbity bobbity boo

" Stop saying wierd words! It hurts!!"

Jack Sparrow, he's a eunuch.. not Will...

" Mama said nobody would tell!"

Jack Sparrow, he owns a neopet..

" Cybunnies are hard to get, you know."

The reason he doesn't want to hold his compass is because he doesn't want treasure.. he wants Davy Jones..

" Hee-hee..NOT TRUE!! I SWEAR!!"

Jack Sparrow, his real name is Juan Carols Julio Ramiro Del Rosa Montoya Sparrow the Third...

" Soooooomedaaaaaaaay over the rainbow!!!"

And now you know Juan Carols Julio Ramiro Del Rosa Montoya Sparrow the Third, a neopets owning, Davy Jones loving, ballrina eunuch, Barbie owning, boger eating, Will Turner fangirl who pretends to be a pirate...

" That's not who I really am! I'm CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow! Come back! COME BACK! I NEEEEED YYYOOOOUUUU!!!!"