Note: Trufax: I've had this written for years. However, the original file was lost when my computers were stolen years ago, so much of this that hadn't been posted online is a rewrite. Sorry if it reads jerky. This fic is meant to serve as a bridge between Nature of the Game, A Kind of Poison, and Salva Nos/The Shadow Game. While there is a lead up to and mention of sex, it is not explicitly described. Mostly I'm just posting this because it's an anniversary of sorts.

When it all came down to it, what they did to Millenniumon had been a last resort. Slay him and he would always be reborn. Force a jogress evolution with him and he would end up corrupting his jogress partner until the other was driven mad. Slay him and Ryo at the same time and it would only leave a power vacuum in the Digital World ripe for competition. As it was better to leave a known and predictable element on the throne of the evil god of the Digital World, there really wasn't much left in terms of choices.

Millenniumon, without Ryo to distract him, had been fully capable of taking over the Digital World and had pulled it off several times before. With Ryo, Millenniumon was more interested in catching and holding his partner's attention than taking over the Digital World. It was a practical measure, Ryo reminded himself. Better for him to deal with Millenniumon himself than disappear off the face of the earth and leave Millenniumon to run rampant looking for him. When the ENIAC asked him to take care of Millenniumon once the bodiless spirit was downloaded into a corporeal form, he had jumped the gun and agreed.

Really, he should stop being so agreeable.

Back before Monodramon forced a jogress evolution with Ziyd Millenniumon, the evil god of the Digital World had been experimenting with cloning humans. Ryo could never figure out why, not back then. It would have been easy to dismiss it as Millenniumon's attempt to screw with his head, but it didn't make sense. With the exception of the Kaiser clone, the other clones didn't evoke any powerful emotional response. But then he realized the true nature of Millenniumon's obsession with him and felt sick for hours afterwards.

When the ENIAC proposed to place Millenniumon's spirit into a physical body, it had used Millenniumon's cloning technology. From a technical standpoint, Ryo could understand that it was all very impressive and complicated, but that was easily swept away by old resentment. It was amazing, really. He got along fairly well with Cyberdramon, but that was only because elements of Monodramon shone through even when Millenniumon's personality was more prominent. Matrix evolution worried him when he had first seen the results, even though he had quickly covered it up in front of the other kids. Humans and digimon evolving together? That would require some sort of common ground with all parties involved. All three of them needed something to act as a uniting factor. Just wanting to fight hadn't been enough. The goal of defeating the D-Reaper hadn't been enough. While Monodramon was the easiest to bond with, he kept refusing to hear his real partner out. Then, one night when he was drifting off to sleep, Millenniumon whispered to him: "'He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster.' You must face the abyss some time, dear boy." That reminder that they really weren't so different had been a slap in the face. Ryo stewed in pure resentment that night, until weariness overpowered the chill coil in his gut and he was forced to accept it. He couldn't run away from his own darkness anymore. He couldn't pretend he was the shining hero without flaws. He could obsess just as well as Millenniumon, murder in cold blood under the guise of "just following orders," and even desire for something greater than that which fate had allotted for him. As much as he hated to admit it, Millenniumon was capable of unswerving loyalty, genius-level intelligence, remarkable skill in the game of his choice, and (ugh) love. He had come to accept both his partners at the expense of his own self-delusions. In time, it became second nature. Then Millenniumon had to craft a human body for himself and all that resentment flared up again.

And the abyss stares back. Dark brown eyes settled onto his in the single uncertain moment when the new body pulled itself out of glass cultivation chamber. Ryo had always considered himself fairly safe from Millenniumon's interest in the past; a spirit had nothing physical with which to molest him and Cyberdramon was just too big. But this time? This time he wasn't safe anymore. The body was meant to be as fully functional as any other healthy human male body. Up to and including…

Nothing had ever prepared him for this. Ryo stepped back cautiously until he could feel the hollowness of the lab's door at his back, pressed a button, and ran when the panels slid apart. A sharp jab of guilt struck his chest at leaving Monodramon behind, but at least Monodramon wasn't the target of unwanted lust. Millenniumon was going to follow through on those little fantasies that were never really hidden during their united Matrix evolution and he wouldn't be able to get away. Nothing scared him more than the sheer force of that desire.

It had taken quite a bit of time afterwards for the ENIAC to reassure him that Millenniumon wouldn't do anything to him. Ryo had argued at first; after all, no one else understood how truly dangerous Millenniumon was. It was easy to dismiss the evil god digimon when you weren't the subject of obsession and horrible fantasies involving blood, metal, and (worst of all) slavery. Only when Ryo was given custody of powerful tranquilizers and antipsychotics that Millenniumon was brought back into his presence. While somewhat taller than Ryo, the clone body was thinner and less likely to hold up in a good physical fight. It was a clear indicator that Millenniumon had made the body specifically to come across to Ryo as unthreatening as possible without forfeiting dignity. Monodramon had helped his jogress partner into a simple yukata. Millenniumon was making an effort.

Ryo, naturally, wanted nothing to do with it. For the first few days he refused to be in Millenniumon's presence for longer than a few minutes, and he always stalked out the moment Millenniumon opened his mouth. The tension mounted with each encounter, and even the ENIAC was considering relieving Ryo of duty and having Millenniumon turned over to human psychiatric professionals. Though what that would do for an alien psyche, Ryo had no idea. The drugs were simply a stopgap and only there to put a stop to anything they might consider dangerous. Things were doomed to blow up.

Rather sick of being ignored, Millenniumon struck first. The punch connected with his abdomen and knocked the air out of him. He stumbled back in a reflexive crouch, clutching his stomach, and paused only long enough to regain his breath before going for the counterattack. Ryo poured all of his long-festering resentment into the fight. Every move had the backing of years of loneliness, regret, impotent rage, fear, hatred. It felt like it had lasted for hours. Ryo kept attacking until he realized at last that Millenniumon wasn't putting up that much of a fight. Towards the end of it, Millenniumon had stopped fighting him completely. The digimon in a human body lay prone on the floor with blood streaked through blue-black hair and pale skin, simply waiting for the blows. Ryo, who had been straddling the evil god at this point, slumped in exhaustion and focused his energies on simply getting enough air.

"Why aren't you fighting back," he asked once the adrenaline finally left him.

Millenniumon remained silent for a few moments, his expression closed off and inscrutable. Then, finally: "You needed release."

"I'm not you." Ryo hissed between his gulps for breath. "I'm nothing like you."

The dark brown eyes searched his, and for a split second, Ryo wondered if Millenniumon was going to smirk and throw that back in his face. What did happen surprised him. "Who are you trying to convince," Millenniumon asked quietly.

He stared down at the digimon in a human body in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I merely meant," Millenniumon began in a tone that sounded almost exasperated, "that you sound afraid of me, or afraid of becoming me. Why is that? You have not feared me for years."

A frown tugged at a corner of Ryo's lips at that. He'd never really thought about it before. It was just… "I don't want to hurt people like you do. I don't want to be evil. I just want to be me."

The stony, walled-off look on his partner's face softened. "After all this time, did you really think in terms of 'good' and 'evil'?"

Ryo remained silent. He supposed he didn't, not anymore, but it was too easy to fall back on old mindsets around Millenniumon. With nothing to really answer his partner, he simply shook his head.

"I doubt you have anything to worry about." A twitch at a corner of the thin lips of the constructed body betrayed the digimon's attempt at suppressing a smile. "I would not be attracted to you if you were someone other than yourself."

There it was, out in the open. The first time Millenniumon ever really put words to feelings everyone involved knew about. It reminded Ryo that they were overdue for a long talk and a drawing up of boundaries. And then he noticed the hand slowly, almost tentatively, sliding up an outer thigh.

Ryo froze. The caress (it couldn't have been anything else) left a tingling trail up his leg, grabbing his attention and forcing him to realize a multitude of things about his situation. Since his boyfriend died so long ago, he never really had someone else to be intimate with. No one else could measure up to his romanticized vision of his first boyfriend. Shigeoki, a boy older than him who was his second boyfriend, went just as quickly as he came into Ryo's life. He had tried dating Ruki due to peer pressure, but she deserved someone more reliable and not, well, gay. Her resemblance to Osamu hadn't been enough. Then Millenniumon started another war and Ryo was secretly thankful that it gave him an excuse to break it off. Afterwards, he was just so busy trying to keep Millenniumon contained that the most he could hope for was some one-night stands in Ni-Chome. It was just sex, right? Surely that much would be understood. It wouldn't mean anything. He knew that Millenniumon knew where his heart belonged, and maybe that would be enough.

Wait, what the hell was he thinking? Give Millenniumon a chance and he'd abuse it like he always did. Ryo could trust his partner with his life, sure, and you didn't go through Matrix Evolution together without becoming somewhat attached, but… He was thinking too much about it, and that hand that was now cupped at his hip was influencing him. He needed to get away to clear his head.

It took a great deal of effort for him to rise after the fight had sapped his strength, but somehow Ryo managed. "Get cleaned up," he found himself saying, despite all the reservations that were popping up in his head again, "and when you're done, we need to talk."

Millenniumon gave him another inscrutable look, but said nothing as he pulled himself from the floor. Rather than allow his partner enough leeway to assume command of the situation, Ryo turned and headed for the quarters that were his during their stay at the ENIAC's.

Sometime later, once he had hopped out to shower and arrange his thoughts into some semblance of order, Ryo waited outside the doors to the ENIAC's main chamber. He had wanted to talk to Monodramon before he had to face what was sure to be another argument with Millenniumon, but Monodramon seemed to be missing. It would figure. So, with no one to temper his rather jumpy thought processes, he settled down to decide on what it was he needed to cover.

He didn't get very far. Just as he was trying to figure out how best to broach the subject, Monodramon stepped out of the ENIAC's chamber and cleared his throat to get Ryo's attention. Ryo quickly smothered the sense of betrayal as Monodramon spoke.

"He's ready."

There was no need to say anything else. Monodramon had apparently been with Millenniumon for some reason or another. Strangely, they had developed something akin to friendship, which still made Ryo feel somewhat betrayed. He told himself that it was ridiculous to feel that way, even as he automatically followed Monodramon into the chamber. The ENIAC said nothing as they passed through in the effort to reach the laboratory a few rooms away.

The reed-thin clone body stood with back against the metal wall, with arms crossed and dark eyes watching him suspiciously. It was almost like old times, when Millenniumon would wait for him in the inner sanctum of some temple or castle. That was always the way things were back then. For all the creepiness in Millenniumon's mind and the nearly obscene subtext when they did exchange words, the evil god never openly pursued him. Not that Millenniumon had to. Ryo came willingly, time and again, to fulfill his role as hero. For the moment, Ryo was reminded of the story of Pavlov's dogs. Like them, he had been trained to respond to a certain stimulus to the point where he would react even if the reasons were taken away. It brought a brief, bitter smirk to his face.

"Good to see that at least one of us finds humor in the situation," Millenniumon said dryly, but never loosened his position. "What was it you wanted to discuss?"

Ryo took a deep breath to stabilize his nerves, and Monodramon slipped away so quietly that he could no longer ask the little dragon to stay as emotional support. He was crazy for even thinking this, but… "Tell me everything."

"Are you sure you want me to meddle with this victim narrative you set up for yourself? You certainly were never interested before."

"Yes." Ryo watched his partner warily. "Besides, it's hardly perfect. Not after all I've been through. And I'll know when you lie."

Millenniumon looked away to study the floor tiles. "Gennai told you that I am a fusion of a Mugendramon and a Chimeramon. That much is true. I do not, however, recall anything of either of their lives. I remember hatching and searching for something I knew was missing, but first I had to survive long enough to find it. I could fight and gain experience enough to evolve, or take a shortcut and devour or incorporate the data of other digimon. While this worked, it could not fill the void. I later heard rumors of the Chosen Children and their partners, and wondered if that was what I was missing. I took over the Digital World to get their attention, imprisoned them in search of that missing element, but I felt nothing but envy. When you came onto the scene, I was determined to ignore you. I had presumed that my partner would be someone of exceptional intellect or physical prowess. Not… a child like you." Those brown eyes glanced back at him, as if trying to discern Ryo's reactions. Ryo opted to remain stubbornly neutral, because it was easier than sympathy. "But you proved yourself again and again, and whatever resentment I felt for my first defeat was eventually replaced with respect."

Ryo remained silent. He was familiar enough with his own side of the story, but Millenniumon's had always been a secret he didn't want to hear about. Even after their first Matrix evolution, he preferred to remain ignorant. It was easier when he didn't feel like he had to sympathize with his old nemesis.

"At first I was content to hate you for betraying our bond. It was easier," Millenniumon continued once it was clear that Ryo wasn't going to jump in. "As I watched you be manipulated by forces beyond your control, I found I couldn't resent you for something you knew nothing about. For all out antagonism, neither of us made the effort to reach out and understand each other. I found that I wanted more than revenge. I wanted… needed you, even if it meant spending eternity locked in a cycle of violence."

"Why couldn't you be like any normal digimon," Ryo asked quietly. "There wouldn't be this weird stuff between us."

Millenniumon's voice almost sounded amused, and his eyes glinted. "We are not, and have never been, 'normal.' Besides, it was always so much fun to play with you when you came so willingly."

Ryo chose to ignore the subtext for the moment. That would have to be addressed too, but he hoped it would be later. "I never did ask, how weird was Matrix evolution for you?"

"Was it as good for you as it was for me," Millenniumon asked with an almost impish grin. Ryo fought down the heat rising in his face. His partner spared him the embarrassment of responding, thankfully. "An intriguing experience, but I would rather we remain in our own bodies. I prefer unions of a different kind."

At this point, Ryo was fairly sure his face really was red. "Well, uh, there was something else I wanted to bring up, too."

The look his partner gave him was unusual in its cautious optimism. Optimism was never something he thought Millenniumon had, but considering all those years of thinly-veiled flirting… "Do go on."

While his innards felt like they were twisting in nervousness, Ryo spoke carefully. "We're stuck together. As much as I wish you'd go away, you won't. Everyone knows what you want, either by rumor or by observation. I haven't been laid in years and your flirting… well. I'm going to offer you something, but you can't abuse it. Ever. If I feel threatened, it's off."

For the briefest moment, the clone's face actually looked stunned. It was soon covered up by suspicion. "Do not toy with me," his partner growled.

"I'm not. It's just… I'm tired and have no prospects anymore. I'm tired of one-night stands and all the uncertainty that comes with them. At least I know you." Which was, technically, the only reason he was even considering this. "We can, you know, but don't expect me to feel the same for you." He waited a moment to appeal to his partner's taste for dramatics, then: "But this time, you're going to have to come after me."

With that, he walked out the room with the nagging feeling that he had just sold his soul.

.*.

Millenniumon hadn't made a move for weeks and Monodramon carefully avoided both of them, as if giving them space. Which wasn't hard to pull off in a house in the middle of the Nakatsu river valley, but Ryo had honestly expected some support from him. He and Millenniumon still had their arguments, often punctuated by uneasy peace, but the tension was always there. Given their history, it was only natural that it happened during another fight.

Ryo couldn't even remember what started the fight, only that it was ridiculous and both of them were frustrated. They were ready to wring each other's necks one minute, then before he knew it, Millenniumon had him shoved up against a wall of their house and lips pressed insistently against his. His own parted in invitation, which was taken up with enthusiasm. The kisses melted into one another as hands wandered. His body remembered the similarity to a half-forgotten make-out session in a chemistry lab supply closet years ago, and responded just as it had then. It was nice and he could even forget, for the moment, that Akiyama Ryo was making out with the evil god Millenniumon. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was being kissed passionately by someone who wanted him this way for a very long time. The power of that passion was almost overwhelmingly intoxicating, and power was something he had always been attracted to.

And then a hand slid caressingly down the small of his back as the other cupped the back of his neck. Ryo was suddenly very aware of the hardness pressing against him and broke the kiss before he could be rendered incapable of coherent speech. Not that Millenniumon's instant redirection to his neck was helpful. "Bedroom?"

"Which one," his partner asked, words slightly muffled between nibbles on his neck.

There were three bedrooms in the house, one for each of them. Frankly, he didn't care about which one to use. "Closest? But," then he hissed as a nip at his throat distracted him, and fought to focus again, "let's not traumatize Monodramon more than we already have."

Millenniumon's lips curled into a grin against his neck. "Yours, then. First time I've been grateful for your scarf collection. I've always wanted to tie you up."

Ryo rolled his eyes and let himself be led to something he'd been fighting for over ten years.

.*.

The sun had set long ago and snow fell outside, limned in a soft orange-pink by the salt lamp on the nightstand. Monodramon was rummaging around in the kitchen and, judging from the volume, was trying to keep quiet about it. This deep into winter, anything with any sense was hibernating or tucked into burrows until the sun came out again. No one had ever accused Millenniumon of being sensible, not when it came to this.

On the surface, he had what he always wanted, at least for a few moments. He'd had Ryo's undivided attention, he'd had the opportunity to play out every secret fantasy he had. Yet there was a hollowness to their activities that left him unsatisfied. Not so much because of what transpired, but because of what remained unaddressed. His partner urged him to bite harder, press harder when he had Ryo pinned underneath him. Ryo hadn't openly asked to be hurt, but he'd encouraged Millenniumon onwards until he'd broken skin with his teeth and very nearly broke Ryo's wrists at one point. He'd managed to distract his partner from whatever self-destructive urges he had, but it was disquieting all the same. Neither of them was particularly masochistic or self-destructive until they were in each other's company. Unstable compounds rendered explosive when brought into contact with each other. It was sobering.

If he had any sense at all, he would leave it alone and proceed with ignoring Ryo's issues and his partner would be happier with him for it. But he knew from ample experience that festering would only make things worse. Of all the potential futures he could discern from his actions or inaction, none of them looked particularly promising. Still.

"We need to talk." There was just enough moonlight streaming through the window that he could see Ryo's shoulders tense in response. "And you are terrible at pretending to be asleep."

There was a low, barely audible hiss; a breath passing through gritted teeth. "I'd rather not, thanks."

"You're a bit too old for this petulance to be charming."

Ryo sighed and turned to look at him. "Why is 'no' not enough for you?"

Though he was displeased to admit it, Millenniumon was grateful that it took this long for them to get this far. He wouldn't have had the patience otherwise. Still, it was tempting to roar at his partner for his rhadamanthine tendency towards self-loathing. "While it is adequate in most circumstances, I think the fact that you were urging me to hurt you in the middle of what should have been a pleasant experience requires some comment."

"No, it doesn't. I just like it rough sometimes." Anyone else might have accepted it as truth, but he knew his partner well enough to recognize the stony composure behind the vocal flippancy.

Patience. It was something he had in spades when it came to his schemes; but, like many things, it had the tendency to disappear around his partner. "And if you showed any inclination towards sexual masochism to that extent before, I might believe you."

Ryo gave up on pretense and narrowed his eyes at him. "Speaking of things we need to address, do you not understand the concept of privacy?"

"On the matter of personal edification, I seldom leave any stone unturned." He may or may not have included perusing his partner's hard drives and browsing habits in that comment. But, in the interest of cordial relations, he could abide to such wishes. "But yes, I will refrain from trespassing on your personal affairs insofar as inaction will not result in your personal injury, emotional trauma, or death."

The tension that had Ryo looking like he was ready to get up at any second seemed to abate, and he relaxed into the bed in weariness. "That sounded like a contract."

"It might be prudent to create something similar," Millenniumon offered. A contract might make for a greater possibility for a more stable future. "Given the unique nature of our relationship, as well as our shared past, a modus vivendi."

"Huh?"

"An agreement to live and let live." He thought for a moment, and ruefully admitted to himself that the language of war might get the point across better. "To set aside our weapons in the interest of peace. An armistice, if you will."

Ryo was pensive for a few quiet seconds. "Okay. Fine. First term is… This is weird for me, okay? I've never been interested in digimon like that. I don't think I ever will be. So, this arrangement stays as long as you can stay in a human body."

There was an undercurrent of defensiveness in Ryo's words, and Millenniumon remembered the things Makino said at the height of her falling-out with Ryo. It was best left unaddressed, though Millenniumon might have been perfectly happy with retaliating at the time. "Agreed. Besides, this is so much more pleasant. Second term: On the matter of your well-being, I would like for you to seek the aid of a mental health prof—"

"I don't need help," Ryo cut in, and the defensiveness was in full force.

"Ryo." Patience. "Humans with much greater clinical experience spent lifetimes to prove that the trauma suffered during childhood can create the deepest psychological wounds, and you were a child soldier. If you won't talk to anyone about it, at least seek out a healthier alternative than bottling it, obsessing about it, and festering until it poisons your interactions with others."

His partner's lips pressed into a thin line of stubbornness, but he relented moments afterwards. "Fine. Number three: enough of the evil villain bullshit. I'm tired of it. I don't care if you think you can do a better job of being head honcho or whatever."

Millenniumon grunted, but he was more willing to let it go. In the end, his partner meant more to him than having to deal with minions and opportunistic parasites. Still, the idea of a toady trying to fill the void left by his absence was galling. "I reserve the right to dispose of any pretenders as I see fit should the heroes selected for the task prove inept. I will, however, step down promptly afterwards. Fourth: allow me or Monodramon to take care of you. While your survival skills and independence are inimitable, protecting and supporting our partners is a digimon's raison d'être."

"If you say so." Ryo shifted and relaxed into the sheets, which was promising. His partner watched him for several long moments before proceeding with a kind of caution that would have been too easy to miss were they not so familiar with each other. "And I guess that leads to the other thing. I haven't fallen in love since I was eleven. If it happens again, would you be willing to accept it without argument?"

That he misliked, but they both had to make concessions if this was to succeed. "I might be displeased and a little jealous, but… yes. As long as we don't revert to what we were."

"I honestly expected more of a fight over that."

"I gave up on wanting total possession of you long ago." Perhaps it was the closest thing to an apology he could provide for instigating the war that drove a wedge between Ryo and the rest of the tamers. Something else he'd have to work on. "It would do nothing but feed the antagonism between us."

"Thanks." Ryo stifled a yawn and glanced out the broad window above their heads, and his face fell into that pensive, serious look he got when he thought he was alone. "It's almost New Year's. I forgot…"

Millenniumon had hoped it wouldn't come up, but now that Ryo had to comment on it, he really couldn't contain the grin that broke out on his face. "Right. Happy anniversary."

His partner was looking at him in befuddlement for one second, then disgust tinged with amusement. Before he knew it, he had a pillow thrown in his face.

It was a start.