This is a first attempt at a one-shot between Joker and Alice. Comments highly anticipated, constructive criticism highly appreciated.

. . .

"Black…-san?"

Alice whimpered, her eyes half-lidded as her tall companion pressed his hard body against hers, pushing her into the cold iron bars of the prison cell door. He stood behind her, his large masculine hands covering hers, their fingers entwining as he breathed in her heady scent. With his face being so close, she could feel his hot breath tease her naked skin, sending shivers down her spine. Wedging a knee between her legs, he leaned into her further, closing the gap between them. Nuzzling the side of her neck, he planted sweet kisses along her jaw line and all the way down her shoulder. Using his teeth, he tugged down the shoulder of her dress to expose more of her porcelain skin. Tenderly grazing her bare shoulder with his teeth, he could hear her heart pounding wildly beneath him. His hot tongue teased and tasted her, earning a shy moan from Alice.

"Nnh…"

Joker grinned mischievously as he freed one hand and placed it on the front of her hip, tugging her backwards.

"Whatever you want, Alice, just say it," said Joker in a husky tone, his voice deep and chilling. His free hand crept up her abdomen to her chest, as he started undoing the laces in front. Cheeks flushing a darker shade of crimson, she felt her willpower melting underneath his feverish hands. Sighing, she reached behind her to grab the back of his head, pulling him down into an impassioned kiss. To his surprise, her tongue forced open his mouth, coiling around his own seductively. Hot and heavy, the kiss lasted unbroken for a while, the two leaning into the other like magnets – an unknown force pulling them together just as much as it pushed them apart. Breaking the kiss at last, he turned her around to face him, Joker bent down to kiss her collarbone and chest. He loved hearing her heartbeat speed up for him under his storm of kisses. She seemed to collapse in his arms like a rag doll, barely able to hold herself upright. Scooping her up like a princess, he carried her to his room.

Tossing her onto the bed, he closed the door behind him and leaned against it, staring at her with a pensive smirk. Seeing a disheveled Alice was even better than he thought. The way she propped her body up on her elbows while her legs were tangled in her crumpled skirts was oddly charming. He could see her cheeks were burning, her breathing ragged. He chuckled; he'd done a good job messing up that annoying goody-two-shoes pretense. Lithely sauntering towards her, he could feel her uncertainty and could almost taste her anxiousness; the air seemed to be thick with tension. Slinking onto the bed, he never took his ruby eyes off hers, his gaze as powerful as his body. Looming over her, he caged her with his arms, legs straddling her as he reached out his hand to push her back down onto the bed.

"You need to be taught a lesson, naughty girl," he teased, taking her chin by his thumb and forefinger. "Do you know what happens to naughty girls who get lost in my prison?" It wasn't really a relevant question, but it seemed to fit the mood nicely. Alice's pouty, swollen lips were calling to him – this Outsider was so irresistible!

"I don't know why I keep coming here, Black. But every time I do, you're here…and afterwards…I…I lose all sense of myself. Everything becomes muddled until I end up here again. I don't know why, I just…"

"Sh," said Joker, pressing a finger to her lips, "it's not fair for you talk about it that way. You know why you keep ending up here. You'd be an idiot if you didn't."

Alice opened her mouth to argue, but then Joker stuck his finger inside her mouth.

"Mmph!"

At first it was uncomfortable for Alice, but then she felt an overwhelming urge to suck it. Carefully, he slid his finger into her mouth and out again while she sucked, her tongue gradually winding around to explore him. Closing her eyes to concentrate, she slowly moved her head back and forth to his pace. Syncing to his movements, their bodies began to slightly grind against each other, making the room seem hotter and hotter.

"Ugh, help me with this jacket," Joker whined as he stuck a second finger into Alice's mouth. Unconsciously her hands rose up to unbutton his jacket, which he thankfully shrugged out of, then took off his hat. Replacing his fingers with his mouth, he undid the buttons on his shirt before untying the rest of the laces on the front of her dress. Much more loose than before, Alice's breasts peeked out a little, just enough for him to catch a glimpse. She groaned in his mouth as he slid his hand into her dress to gently fondle each breast, the sensation almost overwhelming her. She'd never been with a man like this…and she was enjoying it. He took her nearest hand and kissed the palm hotly, making her let out a surprised yelp. Grinning at her satisfactorily, he laid on his side next to her on the bed.

"Well I'll be xxxxxx, Alice really is a xxxxxxx virgin!"

Joker laughed. Alice's eyebrows shot up in embarrassment and aggravation, hitting his shoulder.

. . .

If anyone else has played Joker's "rout"e in the game, you can understand the difficulty of this pairing (since it's practically never even close to this in the games or the books). But of course, I like a good challenge ; ). So, please give your thoughts on this little one-shot and let me know if you'd like to request other pairings. I know he's VERY annoying, but how about Peter?

-Yours Anonymous