Summary: Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. And I don't make any money off this fic. I just save money in therapy sessions by working through my issues through writing fanfic.

Author's note: So… many of you have seen my profile note looking for COMPLETED break-up/make-up fics and based on what I've heard back from folks, there really aren't many out there. If it's abandoned/incomplete then it's just a BREAK-UP fic, and that isn't what I want. Those are easy to write. Bringing the pair back together is what is hard. I don't give partial credit LOL. So I have been writing a few of my own to feed my hunger for this trope because it is my favorite. This fic will be long, because we are going to go all the way through the break up, the separation, then the make-up. The makeup will take TIME, since it will require a complete re-building of the relationship. Also, this story is really more about grown-up relationships and real life and it is not my usual 'highly idealized' version of relationships that I have had so much fun pretending could exist in my other stories. I don't know how people will feel about this story, but I really want to write it so… I am going to LOL.

Dec 7, 2017 - a recent reader recently reminded me that this story does not comply with FF's Terms of Service, so I am taking out all the explicit scenes. The full version will still be available on AO3 dot org, under Kizukatana. Yet another reason why I don't post on this site anymore!

Chapter 1 - Dissatisfaction.

Naruto stood in the shower, feeling the stress of the day slowly leaching out of his shoulders as the hot water pounded his flesh before swirling down the drain, carrying it away. He took his time washing himself. There was no rush. As usual, Sasuke was working late. Or maybe he was home, working in his office. It didn't really matter. It had been almost nine months since Sasuke had stopped being around even occasionally to join Naruto in the shower before bed. And seven months since Naruto had stopped delaying his shower on the off chance that Sasuke would slip into the steamy room behind him.

Naruto's hands lathered the soap, washing under his arms, across his tan, muscled chest, then slowly lower. He felt himself hardening under his own touch. He sighed, half in frustration and half in the early stirrings of arousal. Given that they hadn't had sex in months, he supposed it wasn't surprising that his body was reacting to the slight stimulation. He slid his hand lower, trying not to think about the fact that when they'd first moved into the apartment three years ago, they'd had to soundproof the bathroom and bedroom walls to avoid complaints from the neighbors.

There were no complaints to worry about now.

Both rooms were always silent, even on the few nights when Sasuke did come to bed before Naruto was asleep. They used to have sex for hours. Now, the few times it even happened, it was over and done in ten minutes - from foreplay through to afterglow. A simple release of tension for the both of them, but there was no 'playing' anymore.

Naruto felt his arousal fade at his thoughts. It wasn't that he didn't love Sasuke anymore.

But he resented the hell out of him.

When they had graduated college, Naruto had been offered an internship at one of the leading magazines in Japan as a photographer. The pay wasn't much, but it would have jump-started his career. But the job had been in another city, and Sasuke had landed his dream job at one of the leading consumer electronics companies where they lived now. At the time, it had been an easy choice and Naruto had turned the job down without a second thought. He could be happy with a different job even if it wasn't as prestigious, but he didn't want to live hours away from his boyfriend for the foreseeable future.

But three years later, they were barely living together. Sasuke worked late almost every night and often on weekends. And even when he was home, he was usually either thinking about work or so exhausted he was catching up on his much needed sleep. They hardly ever spent any time together anymore.

Naruto was… lonely.

Naruto was a physically demonstrative guy. He liked to show affection physically, and to receive it in return. Sex wasn't all he cared about in a relationship, but it also wasn't totally insignificant, either. Naruto would never cheat. Ever. If he was with Sasuke, then that was who he was with. But the problem was that Sasuke wasn't around to be with anymore. And it seemed like there was no end in sight to the rut they'd fallen into. Naruto wondered if this was what their relationship would be like from now on.

They still caught up every once in awhile with their friends from college who had stayed in the area, but that happened with less frequency with everyone moving on with their lives and Sasuke being so busy. A few of their single friends still went out to the bar or a club on weekends, but Naruto didn't really like to go without Sasuke. It felt... wrong to go to a bar alone when he was in a relationship, even if he wasn't going to pick someone up.

He had known that things would change after college. He wasn't stupid. They had more responsibilities now and worked in different places, with different people, on different things. It wasn't like back in college where they had shared friends and shared classes and were both students, even if it had been in different subjects.

The first year after graduation had been fine. They'd both been starting out, and they would lay in bed at night and talk to each other about how it was going, what they wanted to do, what they wanted to achieve... things they liked and hated about their work.

But it had gotten harder, working with the same people, dealing with the same bull shit every day at work. The stories started to all sound the same, so they just stopped telling them.

Then Sasuke's job had really started to take off.

At first, Naruto had been excited. He knew how much Sasuke craved recognition for his abilities, and he was getting it in spades. But Naruto started to feel like Sasuke didn't have any time outside of work anymore. Sasuke's job had become his boyfriend's whole life. Sasuke had said things would settle down as soon as the first project he was in charge of ended. But then someone from the team had gotten transferred, and they were short-handed and Sasuke had to cover until they hired a replacement. Then Sasuke was up for promotion, and needed to work hard. Then he had to learn the ropes in his new role when he'd gotten the promotion.

Every time Sasuke reached one goal, another seemed to appear to take its place. Which - again - Naruto knew was natural, but it was the fact that Sasuke seemed to focus on his career to the exclusion of all else that he was struggling with. They hardly saw each other anymore, and rarely talked about anything other than schedules and bills due or chores to be done. Naruto couldn't even remember the last time they'd just hung out and talked without an agenda.

Was this what their relationship was going to be like now that they were out of college? Was this what 'grown-up' relationships were? It depressed the shit out of him.

Sasuke had always been rather cold and aloof with others, never opening up or talking about much. I had never bothered Naruto, because that wasn't how Sasuke was with him.

At least it didn't used to be.

Naruto had always needed a lot of attention. He could blame it on his shitty childhood or the way he was wired, but it was fundamentally part of who he was. It wasn't an aspect of himself he was proud of, but goddammit, Sasuke knew that about him when they started dating. Naruto didn't like to be alone all the time. He wanted someone he could talk to, to spend time with. Share his life with. It didn't need to be all sugary affection.

In fact, saccharine sweet was something that really turned Naruto off. He hated pretense, which was one of the things that had drawn him to Sasuke in the first place. Sasuke didn't sugar-coat things. He was brutally honest and up-front. And Naruto loved that about him, even if Sasuke could be an ass about it sometimes. Naruto wanted real emotions. It had never mattered that he and Sasuke fought as much as they fucked. It had been all-consuming either way and real.

But Sasuke wasn't around enough to fight with, either. Even when he was around, all he thought about was work. The deadlines, the office politics, the next promotion. Naruto didn't make the list anymore.

To be constantly blown off and ignored month after month for work was wearing on him. Naruto was tired of being the one to constantly initiate things. He'd tried fighting with Sasuke about it, but Sasuke always said things would get better as soon as he reached his next goal. Naruto didn't buy that anymore.

Naruto had thought that - if he stopped - Sasuke would take notice and do something. But that had been two months ago. If Sasuke realized that they'd basically stopped talking, he'd shown no sign.

Naruto felt the bitter anger build and shut off his thoughts. His mind shied away from what the obvious conclusion to all of this was. The shadowy truth that was lurking in the recesses of his mind, waiting to be acknowledged. He wasn't ready to go there yet.

Six years was a long time to just walk away.

Naruto cleared his mind, wanting to focus on just relieving the sexual frustration without all the associated baggage of thinking of Sasuke. Anger wasn't turning him on these days. He found the simple stimulation of his own hand insufficient, though. His mind searched through for some sort of imagery to help him along. He quickly rejected thinking about any of his co-workers or friends. That just felt… wrong. Instead his mind conjured up a memory of a photo that he'd used when he was in high school that he'd found in one of his uncle's porno magazines the man had kept 'hidden' in the bottom drawer of the bathroom. It had been of an attractive man chained to a bed, his lover between his legs.

Naruto's arousal slowly returned to life. He repressed any thoughts of Sasuke and himself. He didn't want to think about anything real now. He just wanted a fantasy, of two perfect lovers, satisfying each other's desires.

He let the image play out in his mind, imagining the backstory of who they were and exactly what happened as the figure kneeling on the bed lowered their mouth.

Naruto's breathing picking up until finally he came with a long groan against the shower wall. He watched as the shower quickly washed away the evidence of his pleasure.

As his breathing slowed, he realized that it was the first time in over six years that it wasn't the thought of his boyfriend that made him cum when he masturbated. He leaned his head against the tiles, wondering what to do.

The one thing he was certain of was that he had to do something. He couldn't keep on like this. This couldn't be what the rest of his life felt like.

With his thoughts muddled, he dried off and pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants. For years, he had slept nude at Sasuke's insistence, but those days had long ended.

He pulled out his phone to check his schedule for the next day, no longer bothering to see if there was a message from Sasuke that he would be working late and letting him know when he'd be home. Naruto had a wedding that he was scheduled to shoot the next day, starting with photos of the wedding party in the morning before the ceremony, then through all the way to the reception that would go late into the night. It was the daughter of a fairly high-profile family, so Naruto needed to be sure all his equipment was working, extra batteries charged, flashes and lenses packed.

His work as a freelance photographer suited him. He'd slowly been moving up from children's birthday parties and office head-shots to weddings and occasional work for one of the regional newspapers. It wasn't the serious work he wanted to eventually do, but he was slowly honing his craft and building his network of clients and contacts. It was stressful, because there was no 'guarantee' of work week-to-week, but it was his passion and he was good at it. He loved his work, and at the moment he was grateful for that fact, since everything else seemed to be going to shit.

Zipping the large duffle that carried his tripod and extra lenses, Naruto set it on the coffee table then headed to bed.

Sasuke unlocked the door to their apartment. It was after midnight, but at least they'd finally found the problem with the design and could hand it over to production the next day. His eyes were bloodshot from staring at a computer screen all day and he had a headache from stress and lack of sleep.

The single light left on in the kitchen was the only sign that Naruto was home in the quiet apartment.

He saw the black duffle with Naruto's photo equipment on the coffee table, and assumed Naruto had a shoot the next morning. He eyed the bag somewhat hostilely. Photography had been Naruto's hobby when they met their freshman year in college. Even though Naruto's major in political science hadn't been that much more practical, Sasuke had been somewhat annoyed when Naruto had decided to make photography his career when they graduated.

Who wanted to spend their life taking pictures of snot-nosed kids at birthday parties, or trying to make the bride not look fat in her wedding photos? Naruto said he needed to start somewhere, but in the three years since they'd graduated, it didn't seem like it was going anywhere. And it certainly wasn't paying much.

At least one of them had a real job.

Sasuke had majored in electrical engineering and gotten a job at a top consumer electronics company immediately after graduating. His skills had been recognized right away by his supervisor, and he'd been promoted to team leader by his third project. The project had been a huge success, developing a market-ready prototype six months ahead of schedule and on budget, something that was almost unheard of.

Sasuke had caught the attention of one of the senior VPs, and had been put on the fast-track ever since. It meant long hours and a lot of responsibility, but he excelled at it and thrived on the pressure and tangible evidence of his successes. It was addictive… the feeling of exceeding the expectations of his peers and supervisors. He'd always been second-best in his father's eyes compared to his prodigy older brother, but this was something that Sasuke could own. Itachi had gone into medicine and was still finishing his residency. They were in different fields, and finally the endless comparisons would stop.

Even though he was working sixty to seventy hours a week, Sasuke loved his job. Though it was starting to wear on him. He knew his long hours annoyed Naruto, but it was only temporary. He was just at a critical time in his career, and he needed to push hard.

Sasuke glanced at the empty dining table.

Since Naruto had more flexible working hours, the blond did most of the grocery shopping and maintenance on the apartment. On the days when Naruto didn't have a shoot, Naruto used to make dinner for them.

As Sasuke's career had advanced, his working hours had gotten longer and longer and most nights he was hours late for dinner. He'd try to let Naruto know when he was going to be late, but sometimes he was stuck in a meeting and couldn't call. Other times, he just didn't know how late things were going to run until it was already past the time when Naruto would have started cooking. When you were troubleshooting a design, sometimes it took three hours, sometimes three weeks to find the issue. There was no way to predict it.

More often than not lately, Sasuke would end up just having dinner in the office with his team. He'd had dinner at work earlier that evening, but the team had ordered something weird and he hadn't eaten much of it. He was hungry, but too tired to cook or stay up to order take-out.

He opened the refrigerator. There wasn't much inside. Naruto had started cooking less and packing the leftovers in his lunch when he had a shoot. Sasuke was glad in a sense that they'd stopped fighting about it. They had never had the same taste in foods, and Naruto had said there was no point in cooking something he didn't even like for someone who wasn't there to eat it.

It made sense. It was logical.

Neither of them liked wasting food. They hadn't grown up particularly wealthy, and food wasn't something you took for granted. Sasuke closed the refrigerator and pulled out a box of crackers. He tried not to remember how it had felt when Naruto used to wait up for him when he got home. When Naruto used to worry about whether Sasuke was getting enough sleep or eating enough.

It had only annoyed him at the time. Sasuke wasn't a child and he was more than capable of looking after himself. That was what he told himself.

Plus he was usually too tired to make conversation when he got back. The last thing he wanted to do after spending thirteen hours in his office was to come home and talk about it some more.

He put the half-empty box of crackers away, and poured himself a glass of water. He sighed as he saw that the garbage needed to be taken out. Sasuke was hardly home, so most of it had to be Naruto's shit. He considered leaving it for Naruto to deal with in the morning, but it bothered him to have the trash so full. He had always been fastidious about hygiene. Something Naruto had definitely improved on, but still occasionally had issues with.

Like tonight.

Sasuke grabbed the bag with somewhat more force than was necessary and took it down the hall to the trash chute. It was late and he was tired and still slightly hungry and the last thing he wanted to deal with was someone else's mess. He closed the door, not quite slamming it but also not bothering to make it quiet enough to ensure he didn't wake Naruto when he came back and washed his hands.

He walked to their bedroom. Naruto had left the closet light on so Sasuke could find his things when he got back. Sasuke unbuttoned his shirt and threw it in the dirty clothes hamper, the rest of his clothing rapidly following. He glanced over at the still form on the large bed as he pulled a pair of clean boxers out of his drawer and headed to the shower.

He frowned at the sight of Naruto's bright orange towel jammed into the towel rack. Turning on the shower, he walked over and straightened it so it would dry properly and not mildew. Sasuke could never understand how Naruto could use a towel in the morning that was still slightly damp from the night before. It took three seconds to straighten a fucking towel. Naruto was twenty-five. How could he not have learned this yet?

Irritation flickered through him as he stepped into the shower. The smell of Naruto's body wash still lingered from earlier in the evening, and unconsciously Sasuke drew in a deeper breath, taking it in. It relaxed Sasuke, somehow. Though he still preferred to use his own soap, he felt some of the tension leave his shoulders at the familiar scent of his lover, even though he wasn't with him.

He showered quickly, knowing he had to be back at the office early even though he had worked late. Maybe he'd see Naruto before his boyfriend left in the morning, but he doubted it. Usually when Naruto packed up the night before, it was because he had an early morning job, or his job was far enough away that he had to leave before traffic started getting bad.

Naruto had turned in his sleep, his back now to Sasuke as Sasuke set his alarm and slid into bed.

Naruto felt his phone vibrate under his pillow and he suppressed a groan, wishing he could sleep in just a little bit longer. He kept silent, though. On the mornings that he had to wake up early, he tried to avoid waking up Sasuke. Not that the bastard had returned the favor last night, slamming the fucking door after midnight.

Naruto sighed as he stretched his arms over his head, trying to wake himself up in the early morning light. The site of the wedding shoot was three hours out of town. He didn't have time to laze around.

The sun was just barely coming up, but a ray of light spilled through a crack in the blinds, washing over the smooth, pale skin of Sasuke's back.

Naruto stilled for a moment, transfixed momentarily by the sight. Sasuke's face was relaxed in sleep, none of the hostility or coldness that it usually portrayed visible. His pink lips were slightly parted, dark, sooty lashes laying softly against the flawless, pale skin. Sasuke was still the most beautiful man Naruto had ever seen. He felt his throat close as he remembered the days when they would wake each other up, spending the early morning sweaty in the twisted sheets of their bed.

Or the even better mornings, when they'd simply lay together, talking about everything and nothing.

Naruto resisted the urge to brush his lips against his lover's. He didn't want to wake him and have to see his lover's dark eyes grow cold with annoyance, breaking the illusion of intimacy that their shared bed still preserved.

Silently, he slid from the covers, shivering as his bare feet touched the cold floor.

Sasuke woke up five minutes before his alarm went off. He didn't need to look to the other side of the bed to know that Naruto was already gone. The blankets were cool; the apartment still and quiet. He realized that Naruto must have had to get up earlier than usual, and wondered briefly where his shoot was.

In the early days, he always knew exactly where Naruto was going and what he was doing. They'd send each other texts during the day… just little notes about what was happening, wanting to have at least some sort of contact with each other. Sasuke picked up his phone from the nightstand, but there were no messages.

He hadn't expected any, really.

He got up and made the bed, his mind already focused on the project he was working on and the meetings he had that day. The apartment was quiet, but he was used to it. They days when he and Naruto would talk over their morning coffee had become fewer and farther between.

He walked to the kitchen table, picking up the note Naruto had left.

I'll be gone all day. Won't be back 'til late.

-N.

Sasuke fingered the thin paper. So different from the notes his boyfriend used to leave him, occasionally tucked into his laptop case, the contents definitely things he wouldn't have wanted his co-workers to read.

His phone buzzed, but it wasn't from Naruto. It was from his boss. Today he would be meeting the team leader from the company that was partnering with his on a new project that Sasuke had been put in charge of. He hoped the person wasn't incompetent. The project was going to be enormous, and he didn't want to have to do someone else's job if they couldn't carry their own weight.

He looked at the e-mail his boss had sent him. He was supposed to meet someone named Hyuuga Neji in the office at nine o'clock. Sasuke glanced at the clock and headed to the bathroom to start getting ready. He had work to get done before the meeting, so he didn't want to waste any more time.

to be continued…