Disclaimer: The luvvie-snugglie-huggie happy tree friends ain't mine. Unfortunately. I don't know if more for me or for them. Anyway, BBQ is mine.
The idea for the story was born a lazy afternoon. I thought- 'what the hell, maybe they can die and born again 'cause they are... THEY ARE...' (looks at the story for know what I means).
Summary: "...And now I'm somewhere I am not supposed to be, and I can see things I know I really shouldn't see..."
Category - Happy Tree Friends
Rated: T
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I never liked cold. It's a bad sensation. Makes you feel like you're in trap.
Like you can't run away.
AT TIMES, IS TRUE
At times. Just at times. I like to think that you can always run away. But something in my mind, something in my way to think, makes me just stay here and wait for bad things without fighting back.
Maybe is because when I tried to run away, bad things followed me and hit me with more strength.
WAKE UP
No. I don't want to open my eyes. If I stay here, with my eyes closed, maybe bad things won't happen. Nothing changes, nothing happens.
YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY
I'm good with that. I just don't want to feel this cold. I hate it when it's cold all around me.
IF YOU DON´T WAKE UP, THE COLD WILL KILL YOU
I had to imagine it. Was it just a utopia, uh? Bad things keep following you even when you don't move.
You just can't run away.
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Somebody is talking above me. I don't remember where I'm supposed to be.
Not that I care, anyway.
I just hear this voice, and is annoying. It's cutting the neat silent chaos of my mind.
I open my eyes. Blue sky, soft clouds, lovely birds with bright colours: this isn't my city. It's too beautiful for it to be the sky of my city.
I remember every filthy little detail that made the place where I live so detestable, and in the sky above me there is no traits like that.
Why am I lying in a city where I don't live?
"…Listen, is not- he's awakening!"
The voice is talking again- no, I hear it better now, it isn't a voice. Are two identical voices that talk about something; Me, I imagine.
Suddenly two green raccoons enter in my sight, smiling in a cheery but not really soothing way.
I'm supposed to smile back, scream or what?
"...Good... morning, gentlemen."
How cute, they're identical even in reactions- raise a eyebrow, look around for see if I talk with everybody else, look at each other... is it the word gentlemen´ that perplexes them so much?
They return to look at me, in that creepy yet cheery smile, and I feel quite bad. I don't know what I have to do.
I don't like it when people stare at me.
"I-"
"We!"
"-Saved you!"
...Corking.
Well, this makes them the most friendly blokes that I ever meet in my socially sad life. Nearly the creepiest too, unfortunately. And if they don't stop staring, even the most annoying.
"I- uh... S-save m... uh, cheers!"
I do a weak smile whilst stuttering this. I hate being so unsure, I hate when I don't know what to say, I hate to feel so defenceless! Please, just... stop staring at me...
I sit, and the damned creeps makes me shiver. How can I shiver under the sun?
I look around in the vain attempt to understand where I am. Too much bright and beautiful colours for it to be my city, too many houses for it any other
place I've see in my life. Quite strange to wake up in a city that you never saw before.
Where am I?
And they saved me from what?
"Yep yep, you could die! The street's not a nice place to take a nap, y'know?"
The one without a hat is talking to me. His voice is cutting my brain... But- street? Why I was sleeping in a street? What the hell am I doing here?
Bloody hell, something is missing. It's like discovering that the world changed faster than usual while you weren't looking.
I'm sure that I didn't come here, yesterday. Neither alcohol can do this effect- not on me.
"Yep! So, don't you think that I deserve money?"
The one with a fedora keeps smiling, and I start to have a little doubt- what if they're just mocking me?
But the saddest thing is that even if they want my money, they're still the friendliest blokes I ever met in my life...
The brother - or, at least, is very likely that he's his brother - turns to him, narrowing in a scary way.
"Excuse me?! I saw him!"
"But I brought him up!"
And while they're arguing I'm supposed to lay here in silence, right-right?
I'm used to this: see people live whilst I stay apart trying to not be wounded- hey, sounds sad, said in this way.
But unfortunately, even if I find them amusing and even if this place is quite poetic, I really hate to stay under the sunshine. It's better if I find a place in unending shadows- this sounds quite Goth, instead. Give me my blood.
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I go away, leaving the two little brothers at their happy argue. They don't even notice that I'm leaving- how lovely.
IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT
I don't care. Or maybe yes. No. Oh, it's ok. If they don't consider me important, then there's nothing I can do.
YOU COULD STAY
No. I couldn't pay them, and I really hate the sun. I just want a shadowy alley where I can rest.
IS NOT SAFE
Maybe. I need to reach somebody and ask him where I am. This place- I'm sure that I've never been here before. And those two raccoons found me in a street, right? Why was I lying on a street?
But, well, maybe they have just lied. Likely, now that I think about it.
I can't say that I would kill to return to my home, but I have at least to understand where I am... no?
It will not help, but... it will distract me from... creeps.
Maybe I'm feverish.
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I really like this city. No, seriously. People seem so happy. It's strange how you actually notice how much people usually don't smile only when you're in centre of a city full of smiling people.
Everyone seems, I don't know, relaxed. They seem so kind and happy. I really prefer it here than where I've lived.
The people seem a lot nicer too- like those two, a yellow rabbit and a red porcupine that are happily walking towards me, wavering their hands...
"Hey! Hey kitty!"
...are they talking to ME?
I stop- and again I feel like I'm in a trap.
If smiling rabbits and porcupines make me feel this way, then I imagine I really need to get out more.
The rabbit stops in front of me.
"Hello! You're new, uh?"
New? What am I supposed to say? I don't even know where I am!
I mean, sure as hell that I- what am I supposed to say?!
"I- y-yes. Fair too meet you, sir."
He does a weird face when I say sir´. He seems amused- what's so strange about sir´?
I turn to the little girl. She seems, I don't know, worried to be here- not really a nice thing.
I mean, what if this place is dangerous and she´s worried about it, or maybe, maybe I've been kidnapped, and she knows it, and they're only stopping me to take time and wait for the kidnappers and... and...
Oh God, I-I really need to get out more.
"N-nice to m-meet you too, my fair maiden."
She seems confused. Maybe it's better if next time I drop every polite form of address and I just say hi´.
"Don´t call me sir, I´m not a duke yet! My name is Cuddles."
...Cuddles?
Well, this is so random that makes me feel quite happy. And safe. Only a moron would be bad with that name.
'Don Cuddles, I ask for justice'.
"I-I´m Flaky. N-nice to m-meet you."
And Flaky. Right. Those are two cute names, or at least, I think.
Now I have to say my stupid and short name, trying to not feel so hurt when they will laugh for it.
I keep the weak smile- I'm used to the reaction that people have at my name. Unfortunately.
"My name i-is... uh... BBQ."
And they don't laugh.
I mean, they don't laugh. For real. Cuddles keeps smiling, Flaky keeps look around nervous, and nobody laughs.
It's... it's a joke? Really nobody is going to laugh? This... really?
"Well, BBQ, I never saw you before! When did you get out the hospital?"
Is quite strange hear my name said with nonchalance- wait. Hospital?
Why would I get out an hospital? I'm not even supposed to be here. I don't even know where I am.
Why does he think that I'd be in a hospital?
"I-I never w-went in a hospital."
Cuddles's eyes narrow, perplexed.
Why was he so sure that I would wake in a hospital? Maybe they know something I don´t.
M-maybe he knows why I'm here, maybe he knows how I ended up in this place.
Flaky looks at me in a so defenceless way that makes me melt... H-how can s-she b-be dangerous?
No, it c-cant be. I'm j-just stressed. Chill out.
"E-everyone w-wake u-up at the hospital t-the first day."
W-what the... bloody hell does that mean?
Why would everyone w-wake up at the hospital on the first d-day? How can it be? It doesn't make sense.
This city- what's this place?
...It was just too beautiful for it to be perfect, right?
No, it couldn't be. Things always have to be messed up, things can't be simple and good...
"W-where are we?"
They don't look like they heard how pathetic my voice sounded or noticed how much more miserable I'm probably looking as seconds go by.
I just hate it. Wasn't it enough that I don't know where I am or how I came here?
Or m-maybe... maybe I'm just being a cry-baby? I don't know.
Why does even my mind have to be so damn´ complicated?!
"This is the Happy Tree City. You're welcome! Well, how do you feel? I hope not too down- usually everyone feels quite bad when they come here, but it's, well, normal. Everyone feel better after a while."
Cuddles does a nervous giggle saying this, as if he does not like the argument. Neither does Flaky seem to like it, cause she just puts on a smile- and I have the impression that is only for make me feel better.
What does mean 'everyone feels bad when they come here'?
"I, uh... I-I'm not... uh... Why would people f-feel... down?"
The two look at each other in a strange way, blushing.
Actually, maybe that was a stupid question. If people on the first day wake up in a Hospital, not knowing where the hell they are, I bet that I would feel quite down too.
Hell, I feel down without the Hospital part.
"W-well... death c-can... can be q-quite... traumatic."
...is it a metaphor? I don't get it.
"...I beg your pardon?"
Flaky becomes even redder, and it's quite weird. I didn't think it could happen.
Death? Is it a new way to say hospitalised´? Quite creepy: 'hey, don't worry, you're going to death´.
But, well, it has to mean this. I can't b-be dead. Can't be dead.
N-no, I'm f-fine. I'm ok. I'm not dead. I'm not d-dead.
I'm not- I'm j-just fine!
"Uh, BBQ. We get up in the hospital because we're cured from... uh... death. Don't you remember that you, hm, died?"
I-I f-feel quite g-good.
I-I-I'm not d-dead. I'm f-fine. I'm n-not dead.
I-I need air. I... I'm n-not...
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STACK OVERFLOW
I keep shivering. It's so cold. How can it be so cold? I hate this cold.
DEATH
No. I'm not dead. I would remember something so important like my death, no? I would at least, I don't know, have a flashback. Remember a mystical light. Death can't be just talk while surrounded by darkness.
CAN´T BREATHE
Death can't be just this. I can't be alone. I was alone for all my life, I can't be alone even in death- I'm not dead! I'm not dead. I'm not dead, so this is not death.
I'm ok- I just feel cold. This horrible cold that makes me shiver...
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
Resistance at what? I just try to survive, waiting for the time where I will be happy. This is resistance? How can I surrender if what I do for resistance is simply surviving, hoping for times that would probably never come? I have to kill myself?
ERROR
If this is what I have to do, then I'm happy to notice that I can't be dead. How can I kill myself if I'm already dead?
CAN´T COMPUTE
I confuse you? I confuse... myself?
Well, who else could I confuse? I have no one than myself and the voice in my head- That is part of me. But a different part of me. When you talk with yourself, are you actually talking with someone?
SCHIZOPHRENIA
No. It's just loneliness. Now that I'm- I'm not dead! I'm not dead. Was just a dream. A dream.
This means that the city wasn't real? Neither Cuddles or Flaky...? I... I liked the people and... and the city. I liked the place and... but...
...What's worse, being dead or alone?