Lifeline
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I don't own Gundam Seed. This is set a few hours after Cagalli shows Kira and Athrun the photo of them as babies.
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The floor of the docking area shook as the Justice and the Freedom landed on it with an earth shaking thump.
The pilots emerged from the suits and floated back down to the ground. Athrun yanked off his helmet and ran a hand through his blue locks, sighing slightly. The decision to ask for the loan of the shuttle made his choice so strangely final. He was going to see his father again. But after what he had just heard, he couldn't not do this. At least he still had a living father, that counted for something right? He might hate him, but…it was something. Something that Cagalli didn't have…
Kira landed too. He looked…tired. But not that kind of tired that makes you want to go and take a nap for an hour, no, it was the kind that made you fall down and sleep for a hundred years, until all your troubles in the world had faded away into nothingness and left peaceful, unconditional, silence.
Athrun hated to see that sadness on his face. He had probably just gained a sister, he should be happy. But the manner in which he was told had shaken him it seemed. All his life he had thought that the parents he grew up and who raised him, Caridad and Haruma Yamato, were his real parents. No matter how he wanted to deny that it was true, he couldn't deny that it would account for him being a coordinator, when his parents weren't. Of course there was still the matter of Cagalli being a natural...
Kira walked over to Athrun and the two shared a silent eye lock. Eventually Kira broke it and cast his eyes to the floor. "Why is nothing ever easy?" he asked quietly. Athrun could only murmur in agreement and pat his shoulder reassuringly.
"I'm gonna go to my room okay?" Kira told him. His friend nodded and Kira departed with a weary sigh.
Once he was gone, Athrun sighed heavily also. Why couldn't he do anything to help him? He growled in frustration. His stomach growled in tandem and he realized that he hadn't eaten in hours. 'I'll eat, then I'll figure something out' he decided.
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The cafeteria wasn't empty when he reached it. Miriallia, Dearka and that guy called Sai were there, talking and chatting. And that wasn't all Dearka was doing, it would seem that Millie hadn't yet noticed the tanned arm sneaking around her waist. Athrun smiled. It was nice to see that someone could find happiness in the midst of war and death.
He entered the room. Sai was the first to see him and offered him a small smile of greeting, despite barely knowing him, and waved him over to join them. He complied and sat next to him, opposite Miriallia and Dearka. Millie even smiled over at him too.
He got a plate and started to eat. The others resumed their conversation about the state of the earth forces troops and how Captain Ramius might choose to steer the ship. Seeing that Athrun had finished eating, Dearka posed the question they all wanted to ask.
"Soo, how does it look out there?" he asked. Immediately, Sai's and Miriallia's eyes locked on him and they feel silent, waiting for his response.
"Not good" he admitted. "It would appear that we're in for a long road with this. It isn't going to end overnight" This assessment made everyone slump back in their chairs wearing defeated expressions.
"There's never any good news is there?" Dearka asked rhetorically, viciously spearing a defenceless carrot and crunching on it grumpily.
Athrun shook his head. "Not lately there isn't"
Everyone let out a collective sigh.
"Has anyone seen Cagalli around?" Athrun asked curiously. They others nodded. "Yeah, she came over a while ago. Didn't stay though, said she was looking for Kira" Dearka said, oblivious to the thoughts running through Athrun's head at that moment. He rose.
"I'm sorry. Please excuse me" With that he left, the three staring after him as he went.
"What was that about?" Sai asked, puzzled.
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Athrun went to Kira's quarters to find them empty. Clearly he was hiding from Cagalli. 'Dammit Kira!' he thought, going to check and see if he was talking to Murrue.
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He'd looked everywhere he could think of and he had found neither Kira nor Cagalli. By now he wasn't sure if he should even try to keep searching, since at least one didn't want to be found and Cagalli was…
…coming around the corner. Athrun blinked and went over to her. She didn't notice him, the preoccupied expression she wore stating that she was functioning on autopilot. He snapped his fingers and she jerked, staring at him.
"I'm not a trained puppy!" she shouted, batting his hand away. Athrun wasn't put off by this little overreaction, rather he was encouraged by it. She wasn't too upset to act her normal self.
Cagalli was puzzled by his unexpected smile. "What's so funny?" she asked him, part in anger and in curiosity.
He shook his head, still smiling. "Nothing really. I'm just really glad…you're you, that's all"
Cagalli was speechless. She had been called spoiled, silly, irresponsible…but never once had someone appreciated her just for being her.
"Athrun" she said softly. He brought his gaze from the ground to her brimming amber orbs. "Yes?" he breathed. She smiled at him. "Thanks"
"Anytime, Princess" he replied lightly, which caused him to get hit again, this time, harder.
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They stood looking out onto the vastness of space.
'How beautiful it is when it's not filled with the screams of the fallen as they meet their end' Cagalli thought. She felt a hand touch her gently on the shoulder. "Feeling better?" her companion enquired.
She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. But how did you know that this would calm me down?" she asked him.
Athrun chuckled. "I didn't really know. You just seemed to be at your most peaceful when you're here" he told her. Cagalli blinked in surprise. 'When did he get to know me so well?' she wondered.
Opting not to reply, she returned her gaze to the stars outside. So did Athrun. He glanced at her reflection in the glass. 'She looks sad again' he thought dejectedly.
"Do you want to…talk, about it?"
Cagalli turned to him and gazed shocked at him. He didn't look at her. She turned to the window again.
"I don't know what to think about all this" she admitted, causing Athrun to intake a sharp breath. He hadn't thought that she would admit that to herself yet, never mind to him. But she was.
"Everything I thought I knew about myself, my…family, it's all gone. The man I thought was my father as good as told me that he wasn't. I've been lied to all my life!" Here her voice cracked and she sought futilely to conceal it under a cough.
He moved closer to her and whispered in her ear. "Tell me"
And so Cagalli found herself breaking down her precious wall that let no one see her innermost thoughts and spilling all her doubts and fears to this guy that she had met but a few months ago, that she still didn't really know, who was a coordinator, her enemy…and who was probably the closest thing she had to a best friend right now.
"I don't know what to do" she sobbed. "Everyone expects me to be some kind of great leader, who never cries, who can lead them out of the war without being destroyed. But I can't! I couldn't stop the destruction of Orb and save my…father! I'm a failure!" Athrun had wrapped one arm around her waist and the other rubbed soothing circles on her back.
"Its all right" he whispered to her, continuing his gentle touch on her shaking form. "Despite what you may believe, no one expects you to be superhuman Cagalli. You're entitled to grieve for Lord Uzumi"
"Am I?" she asked him, gazing up at him with teary eyes and a quivering lip. "Do I really have the right to grieve now when we're in the middle of a war? I can't let myself break down, although it seems that's exactly what I'm doing now…I can't let my emotions and my desires to end this awful war and avenge my father cloud my judgement. I have to be strong, for my…country…" Cagalli trailed off, realizing that if the photograph told no lies, then she wasn't the Princess of Orb. She didn't even know where she was born.
Athrun knew she was thinking about what would happen if she let herself give in and let go as she so desperately wanted to. But she resisted, because the love she had held for the man that called her daughter wouldn't let her do otherwise. She wouldn't let his sacrifice be in vain.
"Cagalli" he murmured softly. "You couldn't be a bad leader is you tried. You do your best and that's all anyone can ask of you. I've always thought you were such a good leader because you took into account the wishes of everyone whenever you could. You are so admired because of your compassion Cagalli. It's the fact that you can feel and show love and sorrow like everyone else that endears you to the masses. You really care, and that's what matters. A perfect leader isn't one that gets every little decision right, but has no concern or feeling for those he supposedly represents. Its one that learns from their mistakes, who understands their pain and who will be able to rebuild hope in their hearts again. A faithless but clever leader and a faithless and unheard people will only fall later. You must know when to change things for the better so as to keep the light alive" he burst out.
Cagalli was speechless, for the first time in all her sixteen years, she really was speechless. All she could say to that was…
"You've been listening to Lacus's lyrics way too long Athrun!" she cried, tears of laughter now streaming down her cheeks instead of ones of sorrow. He laughed too, slightly embarrassed at his impromptu and wholly unrehearsed sermon. "Yeah maybe" he agreed sheepishly.
"Definitely!" she laughed. "But even so, despite the dressing up you gave it, I do see your point. I am only human" Athrun smiled at her, glad that she had come to terms somewhat with her mortal shortcomings with grace.
"You may be only human, but you're an extraordinary one" he said tenderly. At this Cagalli's face turned red, and finding no escape from his steel grip on her waist, buried her head in his chest to hide her embarrassment. He was surprised, but soon got over it and tightened his hold on her, both basking in the warmth and comfort that they had found in each other. Athrun laid his head on hers and inhaled her sweet scent of oranges.
"Athrun?" she mumbled.
"Yes Cagalli?"
The blonde lifted her head and kissed him on the lips, the barest contact of skin and warmth, then she pulled away, smiling at the stunned pilot.
"That was my thank you" she told him softly, and with that she released him and with one last grateful gaze, she left him alone.
Athrun hadn't set out to gain anything when he gave a princess a shoulder to cry on., but it would seem that he had taken something after all.
They would be each others lifeline.
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WHOA I didn't plan on making it that long. As usual I think I went over the top and overdid it. Please tell me you think otherwise. R & R!
P.S. Alex, if you read this and think I've slaughtered your favourite anime, then don't kill me…please.
