Twins ran in Noah's family, so Grace wasn't surprised when she was told that they would not be having one baby, but two.
"Oh my goodness." she sniffed as she reached for her husband's hand, which enclosed her own in a nanosecond. Grace was tough. She would normally never cry, she had been through so many insane times that most things didn't seem emotional enough to cry about anymore. Not since she was strapped down to beds in hospitals. Not since she since she learned her entire life everyone she trusted had been lying to her. Not since she found out that she had killed her own mother. Everything had seemed bleak and unreal after finding out the truth.
However, as she lay back on the table and saw the ultrasound appear on the screen in front of her, she was overwhelmed with so much happiness. There where her two little babies, right in front of her. She had finally done something good instead of tearing everything good to the ground.
"Twins?" Noah's eyes were wide and his accent, a cute mixture of Brazilian and Israeli, was stronger than ever. He'd spent a huge chunk of his life living on Embassy Row in Adria, but he had yet to assimilate the way he talked and Grace liked that. He was unique.
He was unique in that he was able to make her laugh, smile, and feel real more than anyone else every could. He treated her like she was an actual human being and respected her, even with all of her faults. Grace loved how she didn't feel tired around him, because when she and Noah were together, she didn't have to put on a mask. She could truly be herself around him and only him. Around everyone else she had to be someone different.
The doctor nodded a confirmation, "Two babies. This is big news. Congratulations."
"Thank you. Yes, we are so excited!" Grace gushed. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen. It was hard to imagine that those swirling pictures would in time be her own children. She couldn't wait to show them the world and teach them how to be curious and help them learn that climbing over the wall to Germany was fine, but don't even try the one to get into France- that one was way to unstable.
"Mmhmm." came Noah's voice from over her shoulder, "Exciting."
And all of the sudden, Grace's thoughts morphed.
His comment made her raise an eyebrow. This was the Noah who couldn't wait to be a dad. The one who had been even more excited than Grace and told every single person he ran into that he was going to be a father soon- stranger or not. This wasn't how Noah was supposed to be acting. There was something like an edge in his voice just then that almost caused a panic in Grace. Was he mad? Disappointed? Noah always seemed to know exactly how Grace was feeling, but she always had a tough time sorting her husband out who knew exactly how to veil how he really felt after years living on Embassy Row.
The rest of the appointment passed in a blur after that. The doctor told the couple that their babies were perfectly healthy and that at this point, the pregnancy was going very smoothly. After making another appointment for a few weeks later, Grace and Noah were free to go.
It did not escape Grace's mind that her husband was extremely quiet throughout the entire rest of the appointment and even as they walked out of the doctor's building to their car outside he didn't utter a single word.
She tried to make light of it, to push the hard feelings aside, "it's a miracle! You haven't said a word for the past twenty minutes!"
Noah just looked at her from a few paces ahead out of the corner of his eye. Grace wished so hard that he would just tell her what was going on. The expression on his face was too confusing for her to pick apart. After years of living on embassies and with divorced parents, Noah learned how to guard his real emotions to please the public interest, but Grace knew him well enough to see that something was wrong. He was her husband, best friend, and partner in crime (literally).
It was after they got in their car and pulled onto the crowded streets of Adria that Grace absolutely couldn't stand his silence anymore.
"What the heck, Noah!?" she burst out.
"What?" he replied casually as he turned a corner and reached to activate the car radio, but Grace batted his hand away.
"No, you aren't turning on the radio. You're going to talk to me." she insisted, "You're going to tell me why you're upset."
He put on his classic ambassador-style smile- one that Grace noticed didn't reach his eyes, "I'm fine."
Grace rolled her eyes, "Noah, I've been telling people that I've been 'fine' for years. Tell me what you're really thinking. I'm…," she turned away to look out the passenger seat window, "I thought you wanted kids."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Noah asserted immediately. They pulled into the driveway of their house and Noah parked the car, "Of course I want kids. I really do. I've always wanted to be a dad."
"Then what's the problem!?" she exclaimed as she stepped out of the car. They walked in through the front door of their house. It was the house that Grace had always dreamed of having. It was the perfect size (after spending years living in the huge American embassy, it was nice to finally live somewhere where it didn't feel so lonely). And even though she was technically the princess of Adria, it was this house that she and Noah had bought together that really made Grace feel like she was living in a castle.
"There's no problem." Noah asserted, turning towards his wife with another one of those manufactured looks, "Really."
It almost broke her heart.
As he turned away to open a cupboard in the kitchen, Grace rubbed her stomach where her to-be children were nestled. Was Noah having second thoughts and just didn't want to tell her? Grace had been excited to embark in the adventure of parenthood with the one she always lived out her adventures with- what was wrong with him? He was his perfect, smiling self that entire day- even in the waiting room before their appointment.
He was happy until he heard that they were having twins. A spark went of in Grace's mind. Was that it?
She went over to the kitchen. Noah's back was turned to her as he chomped on some chips. Grace wrapped her hands around his shoulders, needing to stand on her tip toes to reach.
"Noah?" she started.
"Mwuf?" he responded, mouth full.
Grace took a shaky breath, "Do you not want twins?"
"Mwught?"
Tears started to prickle behind her eyes, "You don't want twins. That's it, right? It's too much work and you don't think I can handle it and-" she gulped to keep in her emotions, suddenly feeling nauseous and unsure of herself.
His arms were around her in a second, enveloping her and keeping her warm and safe. He helped her ease down until they were sitting on the kitchen floor. "Oh my gosh. Grace, it's not that at all." he told her, "I want kids. I always have. It's just…"
"What, Noah?" she barked, "I don't understand. You've been avoiding my questions and there's obviously something on your mind about the babies so just tell me." she stared at the tile floor, anywhere but at him. She loved him so much and it had taken her so long for her to realize that. She loved him and what they had together, but what if he didn't feel the same way?
After a slight hesitation, he spoke.
"I'm afraid of having twins."
Grace coughed, unsure to be relieved or worried, "What?"
"I know, I know. Someone who has hidden an international fugitive, hung out in an Iranian embassy, and broken into a killer's house is afraid of having twins." his cheeks were flushed red, but he looked her right in the eye, "Lila and I hated each other's guts. And at first it was low-key sibling hatred, but once we grew up- you saw- it all came crashing down. I haven't talked to her in years."
Grace knew. Noah and Lila's fallout had been huge. She wasn't sure if she could pin down a point when their fights turned from lighthearted to genuine anger, but it did happen. She could blame it on the stress of their parent's divorce or maybe how they were both incredibly jealous in a way of the other. But the two siblings just couldn't stand to be in the same room with each other now. However, Grace had no idea how this connected to Noah's fear. "What are you talking about?"
He sighed, holding his wife close, "I just don't want that to happen to our kids, you know. I want them to be really happy. I want them to get along. Be best friends like you and I are."
"Yes, of course. Me too."
Noah ran a hand through his dark hair, "I'm afraid that if I had any part in raising twins that they would end up just like me and Lila." He looked at his wife with honesty, "I don't want that to happen. I don't think I could take it."
Grace smiled, "I get it, I really do. But, Noah, I can't imagine anyone else being a better father than you. I know that your parents weren't around much when you were little and I think that probably had something to do with you and Lila's fights," she took his hand, "But I know that you're going to be different. You are going to be such a great dad and you'll help me raise our kids to be the most talented, adventurous, international crime solvers just like us."
He bit his lip, still looking apprehensive, "You think so?"
"I'm positive."
"I just don't know if I can."
She chuckled, "I'm feeling the exact same way. Being a mom, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like, but we're in this together, right?"
Noah looked at her fiercely, "Absolutely."
They stayed there for a while, just breathing in and out and thinking about the future- their future together.
"You know, I never thought I would be as excited about this as I am now." Grace thought out loud.
Her husband flashed his signature sideways grin, "Yeah, we can do this, right? Raise twins?" He reached over to lay his hand on her stomach, to feel where the two little ones were. It made Grace feel like they were already a big family and her heart swelled up with so much love that she never thought she would actually be able to feel again after all the heartache she experienced.
"Absolutely." she said, echoing what Noah had previously told her.
"And if we could solve international mysteries and murders, then we can totally take on parenthood." he flashed his signature Noah grin that made Grace feel like they could do anything, as long as they were together.
Grace looked into the dark brown eyes of her loyal best friend, and meant it with every fiber of her being when she told him, "Absolutely."