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Chapter 1

Natalie was sitting up on the roof of the apartment building she had been living in for the last six months, there was a slight chill in the air and she wrapped her arms around herself tight to try and stay warm. She graduated today, today she finally received her degree, and she finally finished her degree, the one she started what seemed to be ages ago. She should be happy, happy that all her hard work these last six months paid off but she wasn't, she was happy that she accomplished something but unhappy at the same time, she was alone.

Natalie Buchanan was alone the day she left Llanview, she left her home, she left her life, she left her family and most of all she left the man she loved. Her soul mate or so she used to call him, or so she used to believe.

She came here, here to Philadelphia, attended the local college, took her classes and set out to do what she told herself, what she was determined to do, to finish, and finish with flying colors to boot. She was taken into the forensics tech program here in Philly as she continued to study, it was such an accomplishment, Philly wasn't like Llanview USA, it was dark and dirty at times, there was a lot of crime, certainly a lot more than there was at home.

Natalie never went home in the past six months, and no one ever came, not even her family, she saw Bo today for the first time in the past six months but that was it, she even saw Rex a few times but everyone else... they were again to wrapped up in their own stuff, their own problems to worry about strong Natalie, Natalie who could handle anything, she had handled anything but she didn't feel oh so strong anymore, she felt weak, weakness that came from missing them, her family and missing him.

Life had gone on well for the past six months although she longed for home and for him. For him to chase her this once, to come find her, he didn't, but somehow.. Somehow things were different, or were they? According to Rex he had found his Dad's killer and it didn't help, he was still brooding, still miserable, still going thru the motions of life and not participating.

Natalie walked over to the edge of the roof to look down at all the lights, all the quiet when she heard a familiar voice and she turned.

"Hey" he said softly as he approached her

"Hey" she answered back as she turned to see him, he was beautiful and she knew it, everyone knew it, every woman at the station and even a few of the men knew it too.

In front of her stood a gorgeous man, shaggy sand colored hair and the most beautiful green eye's she had ever seen, well shaved and well kept up complexion, beautiful was the only world she could use for him and his appearance.

"It's the middle of the night, we've got work tomorrow, what are you doing up here all alone?" Jake asked her as he approached her shirtless with his muscular built and his six-pack Abs, he was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms that she had kept for him at her place.

"What I always do up here, thinking"

"You wanna be alone again don't you?" Jake asked as he walked towards the door.

"I was thinking about my family again, my home town, how know one has even bothered to come see me, to know what I've been doing, how life has been to me, that I even did it, finished, no one is even proud of me"

"That's not true Nat and you know it, your Uncle seemed proud of you today...I'm extremely proud of you, you are one of my best forensic techs. Your work is precise, accurate, you are probably by far the best forensic tech in all of pa, and I'm not just saying that cause we're sleeping together and cause I'm falling in Love with you, I'm saying it cause it's true."

"Jake, I..."

"I know, I shouldn't have tipped my hand, I shouldn't have told you about Loving you but I just can't help it, I promise I won't say it again, not another word. Now come back to bed, so we can finish celebrating you being the smartest in your class and for helping me break the Red Wine killer case yesterday"

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John sat on the roof above the Angel square hotel, he had a six pack and he was doing what he was doing for the last six months, just barely breathing, he thought once he found his fathers killer he would alright, he would feel fixed but he didn't, he just didn't have that guilt hanging over him, there was another guilt there now, now in it's place, a worse guilt, a worse feeling. She was gone to him, she left while he was in Thailand trying so desperately to put his life back together for her, so he could finally be with her, so he could finally open up to her the way he so desperately wanted to, the way he so desperately needed to. He had loved her for so long, mostly from a far, mostly when he couldn't and mostly when he didn't deserve to feel, to feel the way she always made him feel.

John took another slug of his beer and paced around a bit, he knew why he was so restless tonight, Bo had told him she was graduating today, finally finishing up her degree, finishing up with flying colors, top of the class as Bo so proudly said when he told him. Bo was taking the ride to be there, he asked if he wanted to come but he said no. How could he see her now, now after six months, six months when he had just finally adjusted to not seeing her at least once a day in passing, now that he had just gotten over the fear of not knowing where she was every second of everyday, the fear that she might be in danger somewhere and need him, the fear that she didn't miss him, the fear that she found someone else, the fear that she might never be coming home, coming home to him, the fear that she might never forgive him for not coming after her, the fear that... well... that she just didn't know how much he loved her.

" It was nice that you uncle came today wasn't it? I mean.. I know it's not the same as the rest of your family or even.. well.. even John but it was something wasn't it?" Jake asked her as he snuggled up close to her in bed.

"Yeah, it was something, my uncle Bo is.. He's the best, he's really been the one person who has never let me down"

"Yeah, he's a great guy, would've liked to been able to speak with him a bit more, would've been nice if you introduced me as someone other than your boss, other than your mentor but..."

"I'm tired, lets just sleep"

"What about John.. He ever let you down Nat? I know there's more than what you've been telling me, I know you don't tell me all of it"

"Sleep Jake, sleep, we've got an early shift tomorrow, I really don't want to talk about things right now"

"You never want to talk about things"

"No pressure, remember, none, those were your words, yours not mine"

'Yeah well... not sure that will do anymore, I didn't expect this thing to go beyond a few nights of sex, didn't expect to be falling...'

"Say it again and you can leave" Natalie threat end as she sat up

"I'm going," he said and sat up, he started to walk away and she grabbed his arm.

"Don't go, I don't want to be alone" she told him as she looked into his eyes

"Make up your mind Nat, do you or don't you, one minute you want to be left alone, the next you don't want me to go. I'm going back to my place tonight, decide, make up your mind, let me know at work" Jake told her as he got completely out of bed, got dressed and left her sitting on her bed caught up in thought.