Keep a promise
AN: My first try of writing something for the Soul Eater fandom.
AU;
SoulxMaka
Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater or the characters.
"No! Maka, wait!" I shout at her the moment the door between us gets shut.
Goddamnit! It happened again! She wants to leave again. I can't allow that. I run as fast as can after her. It doesn't take long for me to reach her, since she's carring a surely heavy suitcase. I can see she really means it this time.
"None of it is true!" I reach after her free hand. "Listen to me for a while, please" She doesn't look at me straight, just watching me from the corner of her eye, trying to pretend as if she didn't care. "Will you?"
I don't know who, but somebody must really adore me, that they are telling on me after EVERY business journey she went to. And I dont deserve it at all. Well, almost.
"I haven't had anything with neither Tsubaki, NOR Liz. I swear!" I am shouting at her again. I feel sorry for that, but I somehow have to. She want to leave. What can I do? It seems to me more as if I was shouting at myself.
I don't cheat on her. Cheateing is lame. Of course I need some ladies' company every now and then. But - Hey! Common! I'm a normal, healthy, good looking man in his twenties. Of course I need it. And what can I do when she disappears for sometimes more than a month?! I know she has really important job. Polititians and this crap. But still, I never ever cheated on her in the first place. Not with Liz or Tsubaki, anyways.
"I'm sorry, Soul" she says in a low, almost inaudiable voice. "But this happenes every time and I'm tired of it."
"Mee, too." I repeat calmly.
I don't sleep with friends. I sleep only with my girlfriend and sometimes some random whores. But that can't hurt anybody, now, can it? All about me and Tsubaki or me and Liz or me and whoever whom Maka knows, are bullcraps. But, for some reason, I can't tell her this. Maybe because of that look she's giving me. She doesn't have a proof her suspicions are true. She doesn't have anything on me, except of that someone told her. But she doesn't believe anybody but me, right? Right?
I don't know anymore. I guess, she can feel it. Maybe it's written on my forehead or even in my eyes. The guilt? Or how to call it. I know I've done something I should feel ashamed of, but I don't, becuase I didn't mean it. But, at the same time, I know I hurt her. I can see it. And that's why I feel sorry. Everytime. When this happened for the first time, I swore to myself I will never in my life sleep with anyone besides her. I couldn't stand the pain staring at me from her honey-brownish eyes. But after she left again and I got drunk it was easy to forget about all of that.
I swear to myself and to anything on this mother-fucking earth I'll never do it again. This is like... the 15th time I do it.
She finally looks at me. Sadness staring at me from behind the dark blonde bangs. Tears streaming down her cheeks. This never happened before. She never cried. My Maka never cries. She is supposed to be strong enough, sometimes strong enough for both of us. Back then on high school, when I lost both of my parents and my brother got shot and killed, she was there for me. She was the one who stayed with me whole days and nights, holding my hand till I fell asleep. She was the one who carried away my pain of that. Of everything that ever made me sad, or cry. I admit, I'm not as tough guy as I could seem to be. I'm emotional. Even when it sounds gay. I actually think it is kind of gay, but whatever. I am emotional and she is the strong one. I cried when our dog died, Maka didn't. Even when I'm 100% sure she loved him the same as me.
No my Maka never cries. Something must have broken in her. I can see it. I may be dump and blind most of the times, but not today, not now. I see it clearly, she doesn't have any strengh left for this. To deal with me everytime.
I come closer to her and wipe away the teras from her cheeks with my free hand. "Come inside. Please. At least for a while." I say as I'm reaching for her suitcase.
She gives in and follows me, our fingers still linked. I lead her to our bedroom. We both sit onto the bed, she is staring somewhere through her knees and is clenching her skirt with one hand on them. Silent sobs fill the dark place. I look at her, still holding her hand between us.
"I'm sorry, Maka. I really am." I tell her quietly. I don't know if she believes me. But I mean it. "I don't want you to leave." Oh god I don't want! I can't let her leave! I'm total hopeless nothing without her around! It's hard enough when she leaves for a business journey, but then I am at least sure she returns. But I couldn't stand living without her. I feel empty when she's not here. When I don't hear her laughter for more than a day. When I have to cook for myself. I usually don't really cook when she's not home. Normally I am the one in charge of kitchen and I'm happy to do that, because I know she loves it. But when she's not around to tell me, she's glad I cooked her favourite chicken'n'cheese, I don't feel like cooking at all. And I don't feel like eating either then. I don't starve myself, I try to eat sometimes more than once a day, but it's never anything good. Only some delivered pizza or chips or sandwiches. All bought. I can't even see the kitchen when Maka is not around, or when she's not about to come for dinner from work at least. It's too empty without her.
"You said this so many times, Soul." She finally looks up at me, eyes still full of tears, eyebrows and chin knitting.
"I know" I say with a light smile as I remove some wet bangs from around her eyes. "And I know it hurts you. Now I know"
"Yeah" some kind of an excuse for laughter exits her mouth. I have to smile, it's a sad smile, but I hope it can cheer her up. It always can. When she comes home totally exhausted from work and it's kind of a pain to put up with her that night, I just smile, tell her in some semi-funny story what kind of crap happened to me that day, and it's all better.
Now it's not.
She looks aways and I try to follow her gaze. "Maka? Tell me, will you be alright?" I ask and she blinks few times, looking back my direction. "Because I'm worried when I see you like this. If I am the one who makes you this unhappy then I want you to find someone else." My voice breaks with these words. This is it. I couldn't take it anymore. No matter how much I hate even the thought of her leaving me, the fact that maybe I broke her this badly is much, much worse. It hurts to think about it. It hurts to think that our brilliant relationship could be destroyed by such little thing as few nights. Only few, during all those years. This time, it's not even true. I haven't done anything! Not this time. Then why is it the worst today? Why is she crying like this? Why doesn't she just gets angry as every other jealous girl? Why doesn't she just stand up and doesn't punch me in the face that my nose would bleed? Why is it so fucked up today?
She turns to me with her whole body, slowly looking up at me, cheeks totally red and eyes puffy from crying. "I'm tired" She says between sobs and throws herself into my arms. Her whole body is shaking with crying, which becomes louder and louder by each sob she produces. I hug her thighly and feel her tears on my neck, streaming under my T-shirt.
"I'm here" I whisper, teras finding their way down my cheeks, too.
Our relationship changed a lot through the years. On highschool, it was all easy, we both had complete families and were just like any ordinary happy-go-lucky couple you could see there wandering down the hallways during the breaks. Then she went to college. I was trying it for the first two years two, but that wasn't for me. I was never into this serious business. She studied every night, even during weekends sometimes. I was happy if I could see her more than once a week. My only luck was we studied in the same city and when I left school I could move there. Then after those four years full of torture, she became a lawyer. Of course a good one. The best of her semester. It went all good for us for few months, almost a year. That was when I truly, deeply fell in love with her. Of course I loved her before, but I felt kinda stuck to her, not really knowing what I would do without her, so I stayed. We moved into our new apartment, which we could affort from her super-new-lawyer and my lame-old-painter income. I became addicted to her. Then she found that new job she was so excitied about. I was happy for her, first three months. Then she had to go for her first business journey. I'll never forget her laughter when she saw my obviously stupid expression back then. She was laughing so hard she almost fell to ground. I must have looked like a dumbass, asking if she will stay there at night, what was more than obvious, considering she travelled to another end of the world.
We lay, still hugging. All I can hear are her sobs. All I can feel is her heart pounding so crazily. All I can see is her shaking body. I don't want to make her go through this all ever again. This is too much.
I will never do anything that could harm her ever again.
I swear.
And I hope I'll keep my promise this time.
AN: If anyone kept reading till the end and isn't falling asleep or having a headache cuz of this, I'm happy. :3
Also, yeah, I know it is a bullcrap since seriously... Soul is such a pussy and asshole at once in this one. He sees one tear and is almost pissing his pants.... I'm sorry for that 'cuz I really LIKE him, but I made a total asshole out of him in this one xD
Reviews make me happy C:
long AN is long