Disclaimer: I don't own twilight
Summary: This is a parody of the TRAILERS! Not the whole movie. I will make a breaking dawn one once the trailer comes out in June. I like twilight, so please don't be offended by the insults. Mild Swearing! Not too bad to be rated teen. Warning! Contains severe obsession with cookies!
Twilight
Bella: (stands by her car and listens to music) It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!
Tyler: Bella! Watch out! I'm gonna hit you with my car!
Bella: (stands their with her mouth hanging open like an idiot) NO! Not before Gossip Girl ends!
Tyler: Move you idiot!
Bella: I'm too stupid!
Edward: I'll save you! (runs at an inhuman speed to the car about to hit Bella and stops it. He looks at Bella)
Bella: WTH! Your my hero!
Tyler: I tried to stop!
Bella: Shut up! Your momma should have named you Dick!
Bella: You're uber fast, and strong.
Edward: What are your theories?
Bella: Are you superman?
Edward: Try again.
Bella: Batman?
Edward: Nope.
Bella: Hulk?
Edward: What is with you and comic books?
Bella: I don't know.
Edward: What if I'm not the hero what if I'm the bad guy? (dramatic music plays)
Bella: The joker?
Bella: I know what you are.
Edward: Say it, out loud.
Bella: How else would I say it?
Edward: SAY IT.
Bella: FAIRY!
Edward: Yes! Wait, what.
Bella: You sparkle in the sunlight.
Edward: I'm a vampire!
Bella: I thought you said you were the bad guy? Vampires are lame. Fairies are badasses!
Edward: !
_
Edward: My family, we only drink the blood of animals.
Bella: How dare you hurt a poor, innocent animal! I'd rather you kill humans!
Edward: There are others who kill humans.
James: (sniffs air dramatically) You smell bad!
Bella: SCREW IT!
James: Edward brought a snack.
Edward: Don't steal my cookie!
James: I don't want your cookie! I want to drink Bella!
Edward: Oh, fine by me!
Bella: Edward!
Edward: Alright!
Edward: The hunt is an obsession! He's never gonna stop!
Bella: I'd rather die than to be away from you, even though I just met you less than one month ago.
Edward: That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.
Bella: It's dramatic.
Bella: (screams like a maniac)
Edward: (fights James) You broke my cookie! That's it! (kicks him and he flys through the air)
(dramatic music)
Sorry, the jokes might not have been that funny. New moon will be better. Review, NO FLAMES!