Her eyes flickered open. Her heart was beating a million miles an hour. Nymphadora Lupin pushed her hair back off her face, taking a deep breath. It had all been a dream. A horrific, blood spattered, unreal dream. Sighing with relief, Tonks rolled over in bed, reaching for her husband.

"Remus, I just had the worst-" but the bed was empty. Tonks stared at the wall, confused. Her bedroom walls weren't white.. She looked around the room, sitting up. It was completely white, furnished only with the bed she was sitting in, a desk, chair, and a dresser. It was definitely not any room in her house. Heart thumping, she threw the blankets back and got out of bed. Where was she? And where was Remus? She walked quickly to the door, and peered out of the small glass panel at eye level. The corridor outside was white too. She couldn't see anyone. What kind of place was this? It reminded her of a hospital… except where were the healers? The patients, the visitors? It was as deserted as a graveyard. She pulled on the handle. It was locked.

Starting to panic, she banged loudly on the door.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Remus? Will someone open this bloody door!"

When no one appeared in the corridor, Tonks turned and sat on the hard wooden chair, cursing. She wasn't liking the look of this at all… had she been captured by death eaters? Coupled with her nightmare, today was looking like it would be a pretty crap day.

Finally, she heard footsteps on the other side of the door, and the scratch of a key being turned in the lock. Now, maybe she would get some answers. The door was pushed open by a tall, familiar faced man in a white coat.

"Savage!" Tonks cried, happy to find someone she knew. She jumped up and hugged him. Rather stiffly, he pulled her off, and when he first spoke it was in a dull monotone. But she didn't care. It was Savage. Her friend.

"Tonks, why were you yelling?"

"I don't know where I am, Savage! I've never been here before, and Remus is gone! Do you know where he is? He would have told me if he was going out, I'm sure…" Tonks trailed off.

Savages forced looking smile faded. "You don't know where you are?"

Tonks shook her head. "Should I?"

Savage nodded. "Well, yeah. You have been here a month now. You're in the Phoenix facility. it's a new hospital, set up by St Mungos and the ministry. For the was victims. Is any of this sounding familiar?"

Tonks shook her head. She had been right. A hospital. "But where's Remus? He's here too, right?"

Savage took a deep breath. "You're having a bad day, Tonks. Have you been having more nightmares?"

"Yeah, but that's beside the point. Where's Remus?"

"Tonks, I hate to have to tell you this again… but he's dead." there was a sharp intake of breath, as Tonks turned pale white. "He was killed in the war. The last battle. You were badly injured, that's why you're here. don't you remember anything?"

Shaking her head again, Tonks sank slowly back onto her chair. She could believe it. Remus. Her Remus. Dead. Just like in her nightmare… a sudden vision of Remus, hit by a green light and falling, blood spattered onto a pile of bodies flashed across her eyes. She shook her head to rid it from her memory, and Savages concerned face swam in front of her.

"Tonks?…" he reached his hand out for hers. She flinched back. He just couldn't be dead…

"You're a liar." She hissed, standing suddenly.

"NO, I'm not. Tonks, its all true. I'm sorry too-"

"Liar! You're not sorry! Why would you be? You don't care! But I do! I love him, and I know you're lying!"

"TONKS! Im not lying!" Savage took her by the arms, as tears ran down her face. "Look, if you don't believe me check your arms." He pulled back her sleeves. Her arms were covered in grizzly scars, some still healing. Some looked like scratches, others more like bite marks, and yet others that were obviously magical injuries.

"That doesn't prove anything!" Tonks yelled, crying. Savage released her, and stuck his head out the door. "Can I get some help in here? Lupins having a bad day!"

Tonks had given up on yelling, and was standing in the middle of the room, crying. "I cant believe you'd say that Savage. You know I cant… cope."

"Tonks. Listen to me. It'll be ok."

Tonks sparked off. "How do you know that? I Wont!" two more people in white coats entered, and each of them grabbed one of her arms, forcing her back towards the bed.

"Stop it! NO!" Tonks snarled, as one of them forced a horrid blue potion down her throat.

"Just take it, Tonks." Savage said dully. "it's a potion for a dreamless sleep."

Darkness started to obscure her vision as she swallowed. Blinking with heavy eyelids, she saw Savage shrug as he left with the other men. Her eyes were so heavy… she fell into a troubled sleep, and it certainly wasn't dreamless.

She was walking down a long, stone corridor. Her footsteps echoed on the wet flagstones as she rounded a corner, and was faced with a large wooden door. She didn't know what was on the other side, but she had a feeling it was something very dear to her… she pulled out her wand.

"Alohomora." the door creaked open. A low growl echoed from the other side as she pulled the door wide. "Remus?" She called softly.

Out of the shadows stepped a giant grey wolf, saliva dripping from its fangs, its large yellow eyes fixed on Tonks. Its snout was covered in blood. She tried to run, to turn and lock it in, but it was too late. The werewolf leapt forward, and she fell back over a loose flagstone. She screamed as it landed on her-

"NOOO!" Remus lupin sat up, panting. His face was covered in sweat. His eyes darted wildly around the room. He was the only person there. He wasn't even sure where there was.

The door opened, and a man in a white coat entered. "Ah Mr Lupin. How are you this morning?"

Still breathing heavily, Remus shrugged. His mind was still fixed on his nightmare. It had all seemed so real… "Where's Dora?" He asked shakily.

"Who?" the man asked, as he scribbled on a clipboard.

"Nymphadora Lupin. My wife."

The man looked up, surprised. "Have you forgotten why you are here, Mr Lupin?"

"I don't even know where here is." Remus said. "I haven't been here before."

"You're in the Phoenix facility, Mr Lupin. it's a new Hospital specifically for war related injuries- both physical and mental." He eyed Remus.

"Oh." Remus said dryly. He was sure that man was trying to infer that he was mental… he didn't know the war was over. He was sure it had really just started.

"But Dora, she's here too… or is she at home?"

The mans kindly smile faded. "I'm afraid not, Mr Lupin. I'm guessing you have forgotten about the incident last month?" When Remus didn't respond, he continued. "you forgot to take your wolfs bane potion…"

"No." Remus whispered, more to himself than the stranger in the white coat. "No. I cant have… I would never… I couldn't do that to her. I don't forget things like that!"

"But you did, Mr Lupin. You appear to be having a rather bad day-"

"Well, that's a bloody understatement! I just found out that I murdered my wife! I shouldn't be in a hospital- I should be in Azkaban! In a cell, rotting!" Remus groaned, sinking to the ground. This was not happening. This couldn't be happening… his nightmare. It wasn't a dream, it was a memory. Dora had trusted him. And he had killed her. She always said he wasn't careless, that he could never forget to take his potion… he thought back to his nightmare- her horrified eyes, her petrified scream- her reaction to him, her husband. This wasn't right. He shouldn't have been able t do that to her… what kind of a husband did that make him? He was a bastard, that was for sure. He had thought she would be safe as long as he was, that he didn't have to be afraid to transform with her. He had thought he was over the fear, but the nightmares were what told the truth. And the truth was, he was a murderer in a mental institute. Great. And he hated himself more than ever.

A/N: thank you for reading! If it's a bit confusing, don't worry, I hope that's only because its just starting, it should all become clearer later. Please leave a review, and if you have any questions, just ask!