So I found this and remember thinking that I was always going to keep this just for myself.
An error, just an oversight
Took you on that dreadful night.
When I chose to be a hero
Instead of saving you.
A moment of indecision
A blink of hesitation
A spark of fear and danger
Has left my heart a stranger
In face of calculation
For my own heart's beat
The price I could have paid
I feared was much too steep.
Those few seconds I thought of me
And not what I could do
When my feet, they moved too slow
Time then just let you go
And if, my dearest brother
Time would backwards fly
This present now would different be
Because my choice would be another
If time would alter to my will
If I could go and make things right
I'd change my fear to nerves of steel
I'd keep you from the endless night
Maybe I would pull you back
Or that game, that night, we'd lack.
Perhaps we'd choose to stand together
And then just try and shield the other
Or maybe I would step aside
And let it slam into your side
Maybe it would end the same
But I dream it would have changed
It saddens me to leave you now
To see you as you're lowered down
I'd rather that you were here
That I have no need for tears
I miss you now but I'll be strong
To us it sure won't seem that long
Till we stand at that crystal place
And we're greeted by your smiling face