Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: Ok, this is totally random. I couldn't sleep last night and this kind of happened. I blame sleep deprivation and general dislike of Will. Apologies to anyone who actually likes him. Enjoy...maybe :o)

The Many Deaths of Will LaMontagne

Emily had watched how the detective had been fawning over JJ throughout the entire case. Her first thought had been how unprofessional he was being. Her second was that JJ would never be interested in someone who had all of the charisma of a rock. A dull rock at that, not even a shiny one. Certainly not one that if you chipped off the outer layers, you'd stumble across something truly amazing. She was pretty sure that if you chipped off the outer layers of the detective all you'd find was someone as interesting as listening to someone with a monotone voice read the dictionary.

It had been that night as she slept in the motel that she had the dream. She dreamt that the detective had been out drinking in one of the bars in the French quarter, even though he was still on the clock. He had left the bar and stumbled through the streets under the impression that he was safe. It had been then that the unsub had stepped out from under a flight of stairs, knife in hand and slashed his throat.

Emily woke with a start at the image. Not because of the sudden death of the detective but because in her dream the unsub was female. That was something to smile about. It was also the first time Emily Prentiss had imagined the death of Detective Will LaMontagne.

The second time had been while in Miami. Emily had watched the way JJ interacted with the detective through the case. Every look that they thought was well hidden had been spotted by the profiler. It was after Emily had watched as JJ ran after the detective that she had to walk away. She'd questioned her decision to keep her attraction to the blonde quiet as they worked the case. Seeing people who had died because of their inability to be who they were in their everyday lives hit a bit too close to home. Maybe if JJ hadn't leapt at the chance to pursue the detective then Emily would have finally been honest. Instead on the flight home, her mind drifted.

This time instead of Morgan going to confront the unsub, it had been Will. He'd walked in to the hostel and shown his usual empathy for others. It was that same inability to empathise with the unsub that had led to the gun being pulled and fired. The team had arrived too late to prevent the mortal wound and could only look on as the detective lay on the floor. That was the second time Emily had imagined the death of the detective.

The third time Emily imagined Will's death she had also offered up a silent prayer that her imagination was in fact a premonition. Knowing an SUV had exploded but not knowing who had been inside tore her apart. The thought of any of her team, her family in such a situation filled her with dread. Then JJ sprang to mind. It was nearly her undoing. The thought of losing the blonde was something too great for the profiler. As a result, her mind created a better scenario.

Will had got into the SUV and been about to pull away. Being sent on a late night gherkins and rocky road ice cream run courtesy of the cravings JJ was having. Before he had managed to drive 10 feet down the road, the vehicle had exploded. She could almost imagine the scene rather reminiscent of the cartoons she saw as a kid. Seeing the timer count down to zero and the look of 'oh shit' on his face before…Boom! That was the third time Emily had imagined the death of the detective and the first time she had wished it were true.

The fourth time was after JJ had come to visit them in the BAU with Henry. It was seeing the blonde after those weeks apart that made Emily realise how much she missed her. It also triggered the jealousy she kept hidden away in one of her compartments that the former detective got the girl. For the life of her she couldn't ever work out why JJ had chosen him. Emily had tried to see something redeemable in the man but even after all this time, she had come up blank.

As she stood there with the blonde agent once more, she couldn't help but let her mind wander to a new way to be rid of the annoying former detective. Her mind had drifted back to the case they had just worked and she couldn't help but imagine Will being the one who had cut up the unsub. His driving skills were on a par with his detective skills from what Emily had seen. She imagined him pulling out in front of the unsub and being rewarded with a gunshot wound to the head. That was the fourth time Emily had imagined the former detective's demise.

The fifth time was as she walked back to the BAU to find JJ crying in her office after Will had failed to answer his cell phone when the blonde had called. Emily had listened as the blonde had told her she was willing to break FBI protocol and tell Will not to take Henry out that day to protect him from the anthrax. However, Will had not answered her calls or returned her messages. It was as she comforted the blonde in the sanctuary of the media liaisons office that Emily had envisioned the Cajun walking through a park before falling victim to the anthrax spores. Of course in her imagination, Henry was fine, protected from the spores by chance. It was only Will that lay in the hospital and the antidote was found too late. That was the fifth time Will had died in Emily's mind.

The team were sitting in the bullpen filling out paperwork on cases that had requests for profiles but did not require their attendance. Emily had been staring at the same report for a good few minutes when Morgan's voice cut into her thoughts.

"What's he doing here?"

Emily looked up from her file and glanced in the direction of his gaze. As soon as she did, she wished she had stayed focused on her report. Standing outside the bullpen was none other than Will LaMontagne. Emily couldn't draw her attention away from the scene before her although she wasn't really seeing them anymore. Her mind had drifted off once more to her now rather long list of ways that the former New Orleans detective might meet his end. She had begun doodling with her pen on one of the legal pads in her desk as she stared.

"A piano?" Morgan's voice was so close that Emily actually jumped at the sound of it. "Easy there Prentiss. What's with the drawing?"

Emily glanced down at the pad and saw what she had drawn. She then looked back up to Morgan, weighing up whether or not she should share her current thoughts with the man or if he'd have her committed to one of the local psyche wards as a result. She watched as he glanced back over at where JJ and Will were still standing, his expression changing to one of distaste. It was in that moment that she decided to share her innermost thoughts about Will with Morgan. Emily reached under her desk into her go bag and pulled out a small book. She handed it to Morgan and watched as he opened it and started reading.

"The many deaths of Will LaMontagne?" He raised an eyebrow at the brunette as a smirk graced his lips. He flicked through the pages as he read. "Been thinking about this for long Emily?"

"Only since we first met him. The book started after Miami though."

"How many are you up to?"

"Including this one right now…two hundred and seventeen."

Morgan stopped on a page. "An acme rocket? You watched way too many looney tunes cartoons as a kid Prentiss."

"Maybe."

"What do you think she sees in him anyway?"

"I have no idea."

Their conversation was cut short by the blonde storming into the bullpen with Will in hot pursuit.

"JJ will you wait a second." His voice grated on Emily the moment he spoke. Even when needing to speak with a sense of urgency, he still managed to speak in a slow drawl.

"No Will. Go home." JJ continued to walk away from the man only to be stopped by his hand on her arm. She spun at the contact to face him. "Take your hand off me." He did as he was told.

"JJ, just let me explain…"

"What's going on with JJ and Will?" Reid asked as he appeared at the desks.

"Shh…We're trying to find out." Morgan commented.

The next thing they knew, Garcia had come into the bullpen to join them. They shot her a questioning glance as she perched on the edge of Emily's desk and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl she had brought with her. "I saw it on the security feed and knew this would be too good to miss. Popcorn?" She offered the bowl to the others who each took a handful.

"Let me simplify this for you Will. It's over." Popcorn froze midway to mouths at the final two words. Each agent too shocked to move or speak at that moment.

"JJ, it can't be over. I love you and you love me…"

"No, I don't. You know what? I was sitting there watching Buffy re-runs the other night and they were on the season with Riley in it. As I sat there watching this guy with the depth of a puddle who held all of the interest of a cardboard cut out, I couldn't help but see me and you there instead of him and Buffy."

"Now I'm not like him JJ."

"No, you're right. I could understand what he said. With you I get about 20% of the words and then just fill in the blanks myself. God knows what conversations you think we've had as I've just mae up half of the things you have said to me over the duration of our relationship. Did you ever wonder why I'd always tell you to text or e-mail me rather than calling? It wasn't because I didn't want to risk being over heard, it was so I actually had a clue what you were saying!"

"What about Henry?"

"Haven't you done enough there? He already has the possibility of developing a receeding hairline before the age of 30 thanks to your genes. Do you really think he needs an accent that his own mother won't understand to boot? Thank god Morgan can take him to the gym when he is older so he won't be as damn scrawny as you."

"But he'll miss me."

"Geez…Get over yourself already. Was the fact that he won't take a bottle from you not clue enough? He'll be fine. Now go and pack up your bags and go back to New Orleans. We are finished."

JJ turned and walked away from the detective. She had made it past the desks where the other agents sat when Will's voice rang out across the room.

"You bitch. You can't leave me." The team watched as he pulled a gun from the back of his pants and pointed it at JJ. It only took a second for Emily to have her gun out. The sound of a single gunshot rang out through the bullpen.

Morgan looked at Emily and saw her gun hadn't been fired. He looked over to Will before realising what happened. "So tell me Prentiss…What number was tripping over your own laces and shooting yourself in the head on your list?" Morgan grinned knowing that the brunette wouldn't have even considered the detective being that careless.

"Number 78. Right after number 77…Slipping on the wet footprint on the bathroom floor and cutting his own carotid artery with a straight edged razor. There's a whole section in there called the Darwin collection as sometimes people are too dumb to survive." She replied without missing a beat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to re-establishing my 2007 relationship with JJ."

With that Emily stood and walked over to where the blonde stood, placing her hand on her shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze. Their eyes locked and as the eye contact remained, a slow smile graced their lips.