Jelsa

We thought we had heard some noises outside, but we pretended that it was only the wind.

I guessed it was cold, as the snow piled around us, but how could I possibly feel it? Jack's hand pressed against my back, bringing me even closer to him. I didn't mind the pain. We were devouring each other with kisses when he suddenly came out with:

"Jelsa."

I laughed reluctantly. I preferred silence.

"What?"

"I said Jelsa. That's how we could be called, don't you think? Our names united, Jack and Elsa: Jelsa."

I shook my head, slightly amused. It is amazing what crazy things he came up with when we made love.

"Shh… Be quiet, Jack"

He smiled and continued to kiss my neck as he revolved my hair, which fell over us like a whitish fountain.

But this time we heard it even louder. First came the voices, and then the footsteps. Inside the palace. A chill went down my spine, and certainly not of pleasure.

Jack seemed to hear it too, as he became rigid below me. We looked at each other for a few instants and finally, leaving a kiss on his lips, I stood up. I redid my dress as Jack dressed himself -his magic wasn't as good-, still baffled.

I took a deep breath. My nerves made my hand shake as I tried to open the door. What if everything ended here and now? The doorknob froze and warped. I began to hyperventilate when, suddenly, I sensed Jack's hand over mine, which was warm for my senses. I turned around and his blue eyes, along with his crooked smile, transmitted me enough confidence to open the door and face whatever was waiting for us.

I went down the stairs with all the patience I could manage, making an effort to contain my powers, which was especially difficult having indulged them just a few moments ago.

I expected to find the royal Guard; or maybe the entire village, armed with torches and rakes, as rumours said people did against witches. I was a witch, wasn't I? At least for them…

However, I found myself with something that exceeded all my expectations: My sister, all by herself and, by the way, warmed with little more than a cape.

"Anna!" I exclaimed with joy.

Anna's jaw dropped when she saw me. I had forgotten that she hadn't seen me after the change.

"Wow, Elsa. You look different. It's a good difference!" I chuckled. She was so adorable… "And this palace is amazing!" she continued, looking around in astonishment.

"Thank you. I never knew what I was capable of."

"I am so sorry about what happened…" She began to go up the stairs where I was and fear possessed me once more. "If I had known…"

"No, no. It's okay." I interrupted her "You don't have to apologise" I didn't want to hurt her. Not again. Not now that she knew the truth at last and we could both be free. "But you should probably go. Please."

Anna received my request as a hard blow.

"But… I just got here."

"You belong down in Arendelle" I tried to explain

"So do you!" she never gave up. I loved her so much…

"No, Anna, I belong here…" Was I going to tell her about Jack? I thought that it wasn't opportune and that, anyway, she didn't have to know "…Alone. Where I can be who I am… without hurting anybody"

"Actually, about that…"

Yet she didn't have enough time to finish her phrase. In that moment, a curious little voice was heard from outside. It surprised me, as I didn't know my sister had come accompanied. Moreover, I couldn't even tell what that was.

"Wait, what is that?"

"Hi, I'm Olaf and I love warm hugs!"

I finally recognised the snowman which ran with clumsy steps through the hall up to Anna's side.

"Olaf?"

"You built me." He could speak! "Don't you remember me?"

"And you're alive?" I couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, I think so." He said as he moved the twigs he had as arms.

I contemplated my hands, incredulous. Those days I had created things which overflew my craziest dreams, like that palace. But from there to create life…

"It's just like the one we built as kids. ", Anna reminded me. I smiled, overwhelmed by the fact that she still remembered those moments which I kept as my most precious treasure. "Elsa, we were so close. And we can be like that again."

I wished I could only remember two sisters playing in the snow and building snowmen, as Anna probably did. But my memory was different. And, strict and punctual, she reminded me that that day didn't end there. It finished with me losing control of my magic, being unable to stop my sister from jumping into the void and, finally, shooting her in such a way that, if it hadn't been for some trolls, she would probably be dead by now. I remembered holding her, cold as night, in my arms, and believing that I would never see her open her eyes again.

I looked at her. The mark was still there: an entire lock of white hair. Frozen by my powers. That had been my reminder year after year, day by day, that no matter how much fun we could have had together, no matter how much we needed each other; it would always be better for both of us to keep away from each other.

"No, we can't." I sensed how the cold came back to me. The same cold that the old troll warned that would end up destroying me. Along with fear, I felt my magic waking up and boiling underneath my veins. I crossed my arms over my chest and hid my hands in an effort to hold it back. No, not now, I ordered it. "Goodbye, Anna."

"Elsa, wait!"

"No, I'm just trying to protect you!" My magic was becoming stronger by the second.

I tried to flee upstairs, but Anna followed me. She went on to give me all the reasons she could think of in order to convince me. "You don't need to protect me", "don't push me away", "there's no need to live with fear" and "I'm with you" were only some of them. She moved me.

"Anna…"

But I couldn't afford it.

"Go back home", I asked her "Enjoy the sun and don't look back. Let me go. Here I'm free at last."

Still, Anna continued to draw nearer. I moved backwards, afraid.

"Go away and let me be!" I pleaded. She didn't know that I felt even more hurt than her by having to tell her that.

After a brief pause, she announced: "I have something to say…"

I feared the worst.

"What do you want to tell me?" She has got married, I thought.

"Arendelle… has been buried under snow."

My anger evaporated itself in a second.

"What?" I wasn't prepared to hear that.

"You've unleashed an eternal winter... everywhere." I couldn't breathe any longer.

"Everywhere?!" I repeated, incredulous.

Inside me, a storm that would last a long time was generated. I lost control and was only half conscious that it had started snowing.

"But it's okay, just defrost it and that's it!"

How deluded Anna was! She would never understand the torment that my powers supposed to me. I wanted to explain everything to her. That we were one. That while I felt under threat, my magic would become uncontrollable. Yet I now noticed that not even I knew anything about my power. Everything which I thought I had learned with Jack those days turned into dust.

I can't escape from it, I thought My magic will always pursue me. No matter what I do. No matter how much I train myself. It will always be the one dominating me, and with it I will always hurt those whom I love most. Doomed curse!

I wanted to cry, but my rage prevented me from doing so. Instead, my magic whirled around me, causing a storm inside the very palace and my being. I knew that Anna was shouting something, but it was useless. I could no longer hear her.

Everything fell apart. Not even by staying away from my kingdom could I protect it, and now my sister was going to be my next victim. I couldn't stand it any longer.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled with all the power of my lungs, not really knowing to whom.

I felt how my rage escaped from inside me, shooting in every direction, freeing me. I panted, trying to regain my breath.

For the first time, I descried Jack, who had probably been there the whole time. He was in the balcony, and stared at something behind me with a frightened look on his face. He had never shown that expression before.

I turned around slowly… and my heart froze.

Anna was lying on the floor and she held onto her breast, visibly hurt. That's it. I've done it. I thought, terrified.

However, before I could put any remedy, a man whom I had never seen in my life appeared from nowhere and knelt beside Anna, holding her.

"Are you okay?" I heard him whisper.

I couldn't stop myself.

"Who is this?" but I soon repented "Wait, it doesn't matter. Just… You have to go." I didn't want to hurt anybody more even further.

"I'm not leaving without you, Elsa!" she repeated stubbornly.

"Yes, you are." I answered with a determination that tore both our souls apart.

With affliction, I let out a breath of my power which I hoped would create something similar to Olaf, but more convincing. I saw how a colossal figure made of ice grew before my eyes. And, yes, he moved. I knew that, despite its creepy look, it wouldn't hurt them.

I turned myself around, unable to watch my sister disappear for the last time and, even worse, fearful of the resentment I could get to see in her eyes. Goodbye, Anna I thought. And, finally, I let a cold teardrop roll down my cheek.

I was sitting down in my ice-bed. The only reason why I had not fallen apart yet was because something seemed to be obstructing my mind and cancelling out my senses, even my magic. I guess it was something similar to being in shock. There were so many questions being shouted in my head that I could not distinguish ones from others, and my mind resembled a noisy silence.

I then noticed Jack's fingers on one of my shoulders, and his lips on the other.

"Hello, Jack" I whispered, grieved.

He didn't answer back. He simply sat by my side and put an arm around me. I knew that I could lay my head on his shoulder, and even cry if I needed to. However, I felt too tense.

After a long silence, I had to announce my decision:

"Jack, I need some time." I noticed that he became tense beside me, but he didn't utter a word "You have already heard my sister" I sighed with the memory of it "I need time to control my power."

He tried to answer back, but I stopped him:

"I know, Jack. You can help me. That's what you said. But you obviously can't. My whole kingdom is frozen! In the middle of summer! And it's my entire fault!" tears flew in spurts from my eyes. I felt ashamed of myself, but I couldn't stop them. I heard the palace creak.

Jack's face expressed content pain. He was trying to be strong for me. At that moment I knew that I was, without doubt, a monster; a witch.

"Jack!" I cried. And I finally broke down on his lap, hugging his hips like I used to. "I'm sorry, Jack! I'm sorry! I love you…"

"I know, Elsa. I know…" he whispered with a sweet voice as he stroked my hair.

We spent a long time like that. I was crying while I hugged him, and he caressed me with a tenderness and patience superhuman. Once I had vented, I tried to hide my face away from Jack, knowing that it would be ridiculously red. Still, he held my chin and forced me to look at him. His interior calm and his slightly crooked smile managed to curve my lips upwards. Jack left a soft kiss on my cheek and, still sitting down on the edge of the bed, took me in his arms. He cradled me as if I were a little girl and allowed me to hide my face under his jaw. We both closed our eyes.

"Jack, I love you." It was true that I loved him. I loved him with all my heart. And even that sounded like too small to me. "But I also love my people. And I'm their queen, after all. It is my duty to protect them."

I moved away from him a bit in order to be able to see his face.

"Do you understand me, Jack?"

I wished with all my strength that he did. He opened his eyes. Their deep blue mystified me for a second, but the intensity in mines didn't diminish. He seemed to understand.

"Yes, Elsa. I do understand. I understand your worries." He smiled sadly "But… and please believe me when I say that I do not tell you this out of selfishness, that I am being totally honest… But I don't think that being alone is the solution. You may be right and, after all, our powers are not that similar. Maybe yours need more practicing than mine, or they need to be dominated in a way which I don't know of. Maybe I don't know the remedy to your problems. But, Elsa, I assure you that loneliness isn't going to cure you. Isn't it true that it is fear which gives your magic even more strength? Don't you think that I should be by your side when that happened?"

I looked down. There was nothing in the world which I wanted more than that. But, if I must be totally honest, I have to admit that, at those moments, I even feared for him. On top of that, despite how much I longed for his company, I needed some time. Time and silence in which to think; in which, somehow, I had to find the answer to how to stop such winter. I confided in him.

"Jack, I wish you could stay." A spark ignited in his eyes… but I soon extinguished it. "But I cannot afford it. Give me some time, Jack. Only until I find a solution. Then we will never be separated again." He seemed sad. "I swear."

Jack pulled away a lock of hair which fell over my eyes and left it behind my ear.

"If that is what you want…"

He left a kiss on my front and moved towards the balcony. I couldn't help it and, instead of staying by my bed, I went towards him, wishing to make the most of every second I had left with him. He floated up to the railing and, from there, turned towards me and said:

"I will wait for you."

He smiled his crooked smile and disappeared amongst the thousands of stars that covered the sky.

I felt as lonely as ever. I hugged myself in an effort to warm myself up, although I knew it was going to be useless, as the cold I felt was not of that type.

I had spent two days like that. Walking up and down the hall; racking my brain to find a solution which never came. I rubbed my temples while I repeated the phrase that my father had told me so many times when I was little.

"Don't feel, don't feel, don't feel…."

But it was useless. The beautiful blue which had characterized my frozen palace now turned to red. I witnessed with fright how a number of pieces of ice, razor-sharp and as pointed as needles, emerged from the walls and grew towards the centre of the hall. Towards me.

"I am alone." I thought, with every meaning that that phrase could have.

And I started to tremble.