A/N: A Christmas McRoll one shot. Set after 6x03. I hope you like it. Mele Kalikimaka.
It was the day before Christmas Eve. Normally Steve would be looking forward to the holidays but this year he wasn't really looking forward to it. It would be the first Christmas he would spend without Catherine since they had gotten together. It still hurt him that she had chosen volunteer work over him. She felt like she wasn't needed here in Hawaii but she was. Steve needed her and she could always come work for Five-0. But she had said that that would always be him and that she wanted something for herself. But why did she have to go to the other end of the world? There were plenty of things she could do right here in Hawaii. Steve wondered if Catherine would have stayed if Steve had asked her to marry him. He was ready to propose that evening, the evening that she told him she was leaving for Nepal. Why did she go? Was what they had not enough for her? He was hurt when she decided to stay in Afghanistan but he understood that, she was helping out a friend who saved her life. What she was doing now was good work too, helping people after a disaster but it was the reason why she decided to leave that hurt him the most. She left because she needed a purpose, she needed to feel needed, what he offered her wasn't good enough for her.
Steve wanted her back but on the other hand he wasn't sure if he could forgive her if she came back. She had hurt him so much by leaving, even after he told her he wouldn't wait for her anymore she still left. Catherine was his one love, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he thought that Catherine had felt the same but he guessed he was wrong about that.
The house still felt empty without her here. Some of her stuff were still lying around, Steve hadn't been able to put them away just yet. He still hoped she would be back but it had almost been three months already. He just wanted one more chance with her, to talk to her, to tell her he loved her, to ask her why she really left, to ask her what he could do to have her stay with him, to tell her he was going to ask her to marry him. Maybe he should just forget about her and move on. He had been on a two dates with Lynn but she wasn't what he was looking for, she was no Catherine. He wasn't ready to see another woman yet, if he would ever be, so he broke it off with Lynn. Could he ever get over Catherine? No other woman would ever compare to Catherine, no one would even come close. Catherine was his everything, the way she smiled at him made his heart jump, the way she kissed him deeply, the way she made love to him, he loved everything about Catherine. How could he have told her he wouldn't wait for her? He could never see himself without anyone else than Catherine. He would wait for her for eternity.
Steve was already on Christmas break for work so he decided to go for a swim. It would be good to clear his mind. He changed into his swim shorts and grabbed a towel before walking down to the beach behind his house. He put the towel onto the chair and walked into the ocean. He starting swimming. Before he realized it he was getting close to the Diamond Head. He looked at his watch, he had been swimming for almost a half an hour already. He turned around and swam back home. He dried himself off and headed inside. He went upstairs and took a shower. He stood in the shower longer than he normally would. The swim had cleared his mind a bit but not completely. Catherine was still on his mind. She was out of his life, maybe not coming back ever. What could he do to stop thinking about her all the time? He tried dating but that didn't work. He tried burying himself in his work but that really didn't work either. He figured the only thing that could help was Catherine being back in his arms, but that wasn't gonna happen anytime soon, maybe never.
Danny and Grover had both asked Steve to come over for the holidays but he had declined both. They needed to spend Christmas with their families, besides Steve wasn't really looking forward to the holidays, he didn't want to be the party pooper. Chin went to spend the holidays with Abby since she didn't have any family on the island and Kono went to spend the holidays with Adam. Steve would just sit in the comfort of his own home, sipping a bear and watching TV.
…
Today was Christmas Eve. Steve was dressed in a pair of black shorts and one of his Navy shirts. He sat in his chair with a bear in his hand watching some TV. It was just past 6pm when there was a knock on the door. Sighing Steve got up from his chair and walked to the front door.
"I told you Danno, I'm perfectly fine here on Christmas Eve alone," Steve spoke and he opened the door. To his surprise it wasn't Danny who was at the door. "Catherine," Steve spoke surprised. She was the last person Steve expected to show up at his door.
"Hi Steve."
Steve was shocked. What the hell was she doing back here in Hawaii! And at his door no less!
"Catherine, what… what are you doing here? I thought you were in Nepal helping people and you would stay there for a while."
"I know…. I just….." Catherine wasn't sure what to say so she took a step forward.
Before Steve could do anything Catherine had already pulled him to her and kissed him fully on the lips. Instinct took over and Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. It took him a minute to return to his senses. He pushed Catherine away.
"Catherine, what are you doing here? I thought we were both very clear before you left," Steve said to her a little bit angry.
"I know Steve, I know. Can I please come in?"
"Yeah I guess."
Catherine walked into the house and Steve closed the door.
"I'm really sorry Steve. For everything, for leaving, for the things I said. I know I came back here and I love it here it's just… after coming back from Afghanistan and helping a lot of people there, I was always busy, I felt kinda stuck in a rut. I just needed to do something to find myself again. I'm really sorry that I had to leave to do that and for the things I said to you. I just needed to say that to be able to distance myself. It was the only way I was able to leave Hawaii, leave you. I'm really sorry if I hurt you."
"You did hurt me Cath, badly!" Steve yelled at her.
"I'm sorry Steve. I just needed to find myself, without you. I'm really sorry that I hurt you. For what it's worth Steve, I still love you."
Steve still loved her too but she had hurt him so much by leaving and now she was back here in Hawaii again. Steve wanted to take her upstairs and show her how much he had missed her but he just couldn't do that, not after what she had did to him.
"I'm really sorry I left Steve, it was just something that I needed to do and by leaving this way was the only way I could do it. But I'm back here now, I found what I was looking for. I would love to stay here in Hawaii again."
"You don't get it Cath! You told me that what we had wasn't good enough! It was you who went to the other end of the world to find yourself! I understood when you wanted to stay in Afghanistan but leaving just like this I don't understand! And now you're back here again! What do you want from me Cath?!"
Catherine had expected that he would react like this. She just hoped that he could forgive her. "I know Steve and I'm sorry. I came back because I missed you. While I was there and I started to find myself again I realized that I made a mistake with you and that I needed you in my life. That you and me were enough."
"You really don't get it Cath! I was ready to propose before you left!"
Catherine was taken aback when Steve said that. He was going to propose to her?! "What?! Propose, as in marriage, as in you and me getting married?"
"Yes, I had planned it out already and I had even gotten a ring already. I was going to propose that evening but then you told me that you were going to Nepal and you left."
"Why didn't you say something Steve?"
"I don't know, you were leaving and after what you said to me I wasn't sure you wanted that."
"Steve, I waited so long for you to tell me you loved me. You finally said it when I was in Afghanistan. We were together for almost ten years, I fantasized about that moment so often. I wanted that, I just thought you wouldn't want that, that you weren't in this for that. That was part of the reason why I left. I thought I wanted things you didn't want and may never want. I didn't know you felt this way."
"I wasn't sure I wanted it either Cath but after you returned from Afghanistan I got to thinking and I never wanted to let you go again. I never wanted to be without you in my life. I thought you wanted that too but after what you said to me and then left I thought you didn't want that."
"There's nothing I want more Steve."
Steve walked up to Catherine and pulled her tight into his arms before kissing her. She was back here in Hawaii and she wanted to stay, she wanted to stay with him. He was good enough, they were good enough for her to stay. She wanted the same thing he did. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
Steve picked her up and Catherine automatically wrapped her legs around his waist. All kissing Steve walked them up the stairs to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and just looked at her. He couldn't believe that she was back again. He was still a bit mad at her for leaving like that but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be with her again, he would never let her go again. Catherine pulled him back down to her and kissed him again. Clothes were quickly discarded and thrown across the room. They were both really happy to be in each other's arms again and their love making felt so good. Breathless they lay on their backs afterwards.
"Mele Kalikimaka Steve," Catherine spoke as she turned on her side, facing Steve.
"Mele Kalikimaka Catherine."
"I'm really glad I came back."
"Me too. I was just so angry that you left."
"I know Steve and I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere anymore, not if you don't want me. I know what I did hurt you but I hope that we can have another chance. You are where I wanna be."
"But what about what you said? That you needed to feel needed and that you couldn't find that here."
"I thought it couldn't find it here but after being in Nepal I realized that all I need is you. Nothing else matters just as long as I am with you. I think I can find something here in Hawaii as well."
"You can always come to Five-0 if you want."
"I know Steve and I appreciate that, but that is you. I want something of my own. But what I want most is you. You're the most important thing in my life and I'm sorry I screwed us up."
"You sure you're staying here for good, for good now?"
"Yes, if you'll have me. This place, with you, is my home."
"Are you sure you'll be happy here? I don't want you to stay here just for me if that doesn't make you happy."
"You make me happy Steve. The island is beautiful. I love it here. I've been here for so long now, it's become my home. I'm happy here, I want to stay here and mostly I want to stay here with you."
Steve pulled her closer to him and kissed her which resulted in another round of love making. They fell asleep in each other's arms afterwards.
The next morning Steve woke up and he noticed Catherine lying in his arms. It wasn't a dream, she was really back here in Hawaii, back here with him.
"Good morning Steve," Catherine spoke once she noticed Steve was awake.
"Good morning Catherine." Steve gave her a kiss. "I'll go make us some breakfast. You stay right here."
Steve pulled some boxers, shorts and a shirt on and went downstairs. He made some scrambled eggs and toast. He put some orange juice on the tray as well and the box. With the tray in his hand he walked upstairs. Catherine had put some clothes on as well. They went out to the balcony to eat their breakfast.
"I almost forgot how beautiful it is here in the mornings," Catherine spoke as she walked outside. She hadn't noticed the box on the tray yet. Steve put the tray on the table and they both sat down on the chairs. As Catherine went to get her plate from the tray she noticed the box.
"Oh my god Steve! Is that what I think it is?!" Catherine spoke surprised.
"I already told you it yesterday. What's the reason to wait any longer? You're here now and I'm never letting you go." Steve grabbed the box from the tray and sat down on one knee. "Catherine Rollins, will you marry me?" Steve asked as he opened the box.
"Yes of course," Catherine replied with a smile.
With a smile on his face Steve put the ring around Catherine's finger.
"It's beautiful Steve."
"I'm glad you like it. It's finally where it belongs."
"Yes it is."
Steve gave Catherine a kiss before he sat back down on his chair and they enjoyed their breakfast. This was right, this was how it should be for the rest of his life. Steve hadn't really looked forward to the holidays but in the end they didn't turn out as bad as he thought. They were much better in reality.
Mele Kalikimake everyone. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Hope you like it. I can't wait for Catherine to be back on the show again.