Inspired by the cover song Cancer by Twenty One Pilots
–
Lance stirred in his sleep. The pain was slowly returning to his body, waking him from a dreamless sleep. He felt a muted pain in his arm and slowly opened his eyes to see if yet another symptom had appeared.
Instead, he found a sleeping Keith.
Keith had been there when they gave him the last dose of pain relief. Had he been there since then?
Lance's hand twitched. Keith was holding it while resting his head on Lance's arm.
Lance slowly lifted his hand from the other side of his body. The action was stiff, and heavy. He wasn't sure if it was due to the drugs in his veins or the Galra disease that plagued his body.
He stroked Keith's black hair. Lance remembered a time when he had done the same action, his hair had been soft and silky. It was different now, oily and matted. As if Keith hadn't bother to wash it in a few days.
Keith drowsily rose his head from Lances arm; causing his arm to pin prick at the sudden blood flow. Lance smiled down at Keith, his chapped lips stinging slightly. Keith started to smile back but the smile faded as quickly as it appeared, as if he had remembered that he wasn't allowed to be happy.
Keith straightened his back and stretched.
"How are you feeling? Do you want anything?" Keith asked, concern in his voice.
"Water." Lance's voice cracked.
Keith walked the few steps it took to get to the sink in the infirmary. As he filled the glass, Lance struggled to prop himself up, managing to get half way before Keith noticed and quickly returned to his side to help him.
Lance slowly drank the water. his throat felt swollen, making it hard to swallow. Keith sat by, his head low.
"What's wrong?" Lance asked. He knew the answer already.
"We can still put you in the pod." Keith said, angry panic in his voice.
"We talked about this," Lance said, placing the almost empty glass on the side table.
"Lance." Keith's voice was desperate now. Almost like a child's, Lance thought.
"The pod can't cure me Keith. All it will do is preserve my body."
"We could find a cure!" Keith's voice was shaking.
Lance sighed and began to lower himself back into bed, wincing as the pain began to work its way back into his body.
Keith looked up, concern in his eyes. He jumped to his feet to help his boyfriend back into a laying position.
When the task was complete, Keith remained hovering over Lances body, his face twisted as if he was holding back his tears. They looked into each others eyes for a moment.
"What?" Lance asked flatly.
Keith came closer to Lance, his face softening. Lance turned his head.
"Don't." He said, staring at the wall.
Keith stilled for a moment, before getting up.
"I'll go get Allura. You need more pain killers right?" Keith asked, already heading towards the door.
"Yeah, okay." Lance replied, still facing the wall.
–
The days felt like they blurred together as Lance fell further into his illness. He was unsure of how many had actually passed since he contracted the fatal disease. Worse yet, every time he woke it was like the day was on repeat.
Wake-up, drink water, Keith suggests the pod, Lance refuses, Keith tries to kiss Lance, Lance refuses, the pain returns, he falls into a dreamless, drug induced sleep.
He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror one day. It had been the only assurance that the days weren't actually repeating themselves. His face was hollow, cheeks and eyes sunken. He had always been skinny, but he was skin and bone now, his muscles eaten away by affliction.
Lance couldn't understand Keith. How could he stay by his side when he looked like this? A stranger to himself.
Lance watched as Keith changed his sheets. He sat in a chair next to the bed. Lance thought it must have been easy for Keith to lift his body into the chair. Keith was already strong, but with this feeble body, he must have felt like a feather.
"Keith," Lance said, his voice sounded like a stranger too.
Keith looked up from his task. "Yes?"
Lance knew that Keith was constantly aware of every movement or sound he made.
"Why are you still here?"
Keith was taken aback.
"What do you mean? Because I love you." His voice sounded hurt.
"But I'm not even me anymore."
"Don't say that." Keith's eyes were starting to water. Lance hated himself.
"I'm dying I can say whatever I want." Lance was just being cruel now, he knew it too.
A tear ran down Keith's cheek as he turned away, wiping it before it could fall. He silently finished making the bed and helped Lance back into it.
Lance didn't wake up for a long time after that.
–
Lance slowly opened his eyes, they felt heavy and glued down. He was confused. Someone was in his room but he couldn't see their face.
Keith turned around to see that Lance had opened his eyes.
"Lance!" he almost shouted.
"Dad?" Lance's words were slurred.
"No, it's Keith." His voice comforted.
"How did you get here Dad?" He was hallucinating.
Keith paused for a moment, conflicted on what to do.
"I had to see you, Lance." His voice cracked on the last syllable.
"I'm glad you're here. I have to tell you something." his words were slow and almost incomprehensible.
"What is it?" Keith swallowed hard.
"I met this guy." His lips began to form what could be considered a smile.
"I love him. But, I don't want him to worry." the smile faded.
"Is that so?" Keith struggled to keep his voice from wavering.
"Yeah, knowing him, he'd spent his whole life trying to save me."
Lance was talking about the pods. When he first got sick, they had considered it, in hope of finding a cure someday. Lance had refused, he didn't want Keith to waste his life trying to save him.
"He keeps trying to kiss me. But I don't want him to remember kissing me when I look like this."
Lance stayed silent for a moment.
"I'm scared Dad." Tears ran out of Lance's eyes.
Before Keith could respond, Lance fell back into sleep.
–
Keith stared motionless at the wall across from him. Lance didn't wake up again. He had slept for a few more days before he stopped breathing. He told them not to use any machines to keep him alive. He didn't want to "live" like that.
Shiro walked up to Keith and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"It's time." He said, his voice tight.
Keith rose wordlessly and followed behind Shiro to the airlock.
As they approached Keith saw everyone gathered around a Cryo pod they had converted into a casket. They all had tears in their eyes, cheeks wet.
A lump made a home in Keith's throat. He tried to maintain his composure but every step closer made it so much harder.
When they reached the group, everyone stood in silence. Shiro began speaking. Keith couldn't hear his words, he just stared at his feet. Everyone said a little something about Lance, it was all a blur to Keith.
"Keith?" Hunk asked cautiously.
His eyes shot up at the sound of his name.
"What?" He had been lost in thought.
"Do you want to say something?" Shiro asked.
Fear struck him. He hadn't thought about what to say.
He slowly approached the casket and peeked inside. He was afraid of what he would see, but to his surprise, all he saw was the Lance that he had seen every day for the past month. Only he was dressed in red.
"He asked to be dressed in his favorite color." Allura offered.
"He said that red had grown on him."
Keith let out a laugh. Surprising the group.
He smiled down at Lance, tears streaming freely from his eyes.
"You crazy bastard,"
He lightly struck the pod with his fist.
"I love you."