So I've actually had this idea in my head since October and decided it would be a good one to post at this time of year. I have another one that's more of a winter oriented one that I'll post later in January. Enjoy!
Title: Ho'oilo Hahai (Winter Hunt)
Rating: K+
Warnings: None really, a smidgen of language.
Genre: Humor/Team/General
Pairings: None
Word Count: 3,294
Timeline: Anywhere in the show, I suppose. You chose!
Of all the most ridiculous things he had done, this had to be at the top of the list. And he could tell you, that was a long list which had grown longer still when he moved to Hawaii and wound up befriending this rather strange creature known as a McGarrett, a particular subspecies of Navy SEAL. Danny was sure that this peculiar creature was left over from the Ice Age, the age of the Neanderthal to be precise. Because only a Neanderthal would come up with this plan of unnecessary hardship.
Only Steven J. McGarrett would make his team chase reindeer through the streets of Honolulu.
Only him.
Danny had been preparing his rant for when he saw his partner again. It was going to be a good one, a very long winded one chock full of reasons why they should have let animal control handle this. And then when they got a hold of the dumb schmucks that hid the diamonds in the jingle bell harnesses he was going to give them a long winded rant about of all the stupidest places to hide jewels, reindeer harnesses have to be number one or very close to that.
Except all of that would have to wait because his focus was currently on the reindeer in front of him.
"Okay, I've got one," he said into the receiver on his bulletproof vest.
Sweat trickled down his neck from all the running he had been doing, weakening his will to keep the vest on. Why did they have vests on? Because the jewel thieves were running loose looking for the diamonds as well and they were armed. The goal was to find the diamonds before the thieves and save the reindeer from getting shot.
But only in Hawaii was it seventy-five degrees in the winter!
Danny shook his head. He had been chasing this particular reindeer for the past twenty minutes. He recognized it by its antlers, this one having the largest rack of the nine that were loose.
"Blitzen, don't move, just stay right there girl," Danny soothed. He knew her name because he had met her just the day before.
Yesterday….
Grace was excited. Not as excited as she would've been a few years ago, but still excited. She hadn't seen reindeer since they had moved from New Jersey. Danny didn't even know that they had reindeer in Hawaii. Well, he knew that they weren't native, but he didn't know that they had anybody that owned reindeer and would let kids see them around Christmas time.
He would've missed it, too, because today was a work day. But this time the man who owned the reindeer had set up near Kamekona's truck. The good thing about your boss being your best friend and also being your daughter's uncle was that you could convince him to go see the reindeer because he could get lunch at the same time.
And then the whole team came.
"Reindeer are smaller than I imagined," Kono said, crossing her arms over her chest and staring intently at the short stocky creatures.
"I think it would take more than nine to pull Santa's sleigh at this height," Danny agreed.
"Come on, cuz. They're just…fun sized," Chin said and grinned at her.
"These are actually of the Svalbard variety," a man from inside the pen commented as he sauntered over towards them, three of the bigger reindeer following him curiously. "They're the smallest type of reindeer and the kind that was most likely being referred to in the poem 'The Night Before Christmas'."
"Huh," Danny leaned on his elbows against the fencing, looking down at the stocky three, two of which were butting their antlers together. "Well, they're still cute little guys."
The man smiled and chuckled as he offered a carrot to the biggest of the three. "Actually, they're all girls."
"What?" Kono cocked up an eyebrow. She put her hands to her head and spread her fingers. "But they have horns."
"Male and female reindeer have antlers," a different voice chimed in, this time coming from their right. Danny shook his head. Of course Steve would know this. "The males lose theirs in the winter."
"So all of Santa's reindeer would be girls," the owner nodded.
"And how would you know this? Or better yet, why?" Danny questioned as his daughter came to stand by his side and his partner leaned against the fence as well. "No, no! Don't tell me! There's a top secret highly classified snapshot of you in Arctic gear riding a reindeer in an undisclosed location on a mission labeled 'Operation Grinch'."
"No," Steve said simply, keeping back his snickering at the mental image that popped into his head. "Not everything I know has to do with the Navy."
"So why?" Danny asked.
Chin and Kono smirked at each other, enjoying the bantering.
"Classified," Steve turned his head away.
Danny's jaw dropped. He closed it as he started to form words in retaliation, but was kindly cut off by his daughter.
"What's their names?" Grace asked.
"That's Vixen and Donner, and this is Blitzen," the man patted the tips of the antlers of the largest one that was still munching on a carrot. "And I'm sure you can guess that's Prancer and Dancer and Dasher and Cupid and Comet. And the little guy is Rudolph."
"How long are you here for? I haven't seen you around before," Chin asked.
"It's my first year here, and I'm packing up tomorrow. Heading towards the Rockies to do a few more meet and greets, plus these guys will enjoy the cooler weather," the man said with an affectionate look at the little sluggish creatures.
Present….
"Sluggish my foot," Danny grumbled as he approached the reindeer standing in the middle of the street staring him down. These guys seem to have found a second wind today. Probably because of all the napping they did yesterday. "Blitzen, come here, babe, we'll get you back home."
She looked at him with round dark eyes and took a step towards him.
"That's it, come on," Danny coaxed, extending his hand at her.
A shot shattered the quiet and a bullet cracked off the pavement between the reindeer's front hooves.
Danny ducked instinctively and Blitzen made a startled sound before bounding off into the side street.
"Danny! You okay?"
Momentarily ignoring his partner's concerned voice in his ear, Danny took shelter behind one of the trees that lined the side of the road. He cocked his gun and peered around. A man dart from around one of the buildings and in front of a car, waving off the person's irritated honking.
"I'm fine. One of the thieves took a shot at one of the reindeer," he said into the receiver on his vest. "I've got the goofball lined up in my sight. Hang on."
He leveled his gun and pulled the trigger. The man cried out and lurched forward onto his face, eating a mouthful of asphalt. Danny was on top of him with handcuffs before his senses came back.
"You shot me!" he yelled in outrage.
"It's a flesh wound," Danny glanced at the mark on his calf where the bullet had skimmed him. "Blitzen got away again. I'm going to take this schmuck back to one of the patrol cars that Steve convinced to block off the road."
"Sounds good, brah. We've got six of the reindeer locked in the trailer already. Just got Blitzen, Donner, and Rudolph left."
Danny hauled the guy up by his shirt collar and marched him back to the road block around the corner on the next block. "Most ridiculous thing I've ever done."
Chin relayed the information over to Danny and then returned his focus to the reindeer contentedly munching on grass in the shady beachside park. Kono was flanking the other side, pulling out one of the halters that the owner had given them. This was Blitzen's counterpart, Donner.
They had already tried luring her towards them with carrots, but no dice. One of the older females of the little herd she was wise to the ways of the humans. Sneak attack was the only thing they could think of until animal control got there with the tranquilizer guns.
Chin gestured with two fingers and peeled away to come at the reindeer from in front of her while Kono snuck up from behind. He crouched down as the reindeer looked up at him suspiciously.
"Easy girl, you're okay," Chin stayed in his position, talking soothing nonsense to Donner.
When she put her head down again to continue grazing he nodded at Kono. Like a wolf charging on its quarry she pounced forward and onto Donner's back.
The reindeer bolted, scything its antlers back at her. Thankfully the owner kept the ends smooth and rounded, but they could still leave a nasty gouge. Kono reached under the reindeer's belly and snagged one of her front legs. They tumbled to a halt on the ground and Chin rushed in, tossing his weight on top of her to keep her from kicking while Kono fastened the halter on her.
Chin jumped up and let the reindeer stumble to her feet. She shook herself off and snorted, but obediently followed Kono when she tugged at the halter. Chin leaned down and tapped each of the bells on her harness. He was listening for a muted sound instead of the light tinkling that would signal the diamonds were stuffed in the bell cup.
"Damn," Chin shook his head.
"Nothing again?" Kono groaned. "That means the diamonds are either on Blitzen or Rudolph."
"Yeah, and that one of our thieves is still out there with an itchy trigger finger," Chin said. He turned his head to the receiver on his vest. "Steve, the diamonds weren't with Donner. They're with Blitzen or Rudolph."
"Copy that. I think I've finally got mine cornered."
"Watch out for their hooves," Kono warned and rubbed the bruise on her leg where Cupid had nailed her earlier.
"Just be glad yours doesn't have antlers," Chin added, remembering the scratch on his cheek where Prancer had affectionately nuzzled him.
"Got it covered. Have any of you heard from Danny yet?"
Chin opened his mouth to answer but was overridden by a pained grunt and muffled cursing over their frequency. Kono looked back at him questioningly. He shook his head. Guess that answered that.
"Danny?"
Steve was in full stealth mode, weaving between the bushes and trees in the hotel's front garden. He paused and kneeled down as the little reindeer came to a halt. This was tiny Rudolph, the calf of the herd. And he was terrified.
He would be easy to catch and just carry back to the trailer, but he was so fast. Jumping benches and darting between cars, Steve thought several times he was going to get hit. That's why he finally wrangled a couple of patrol cars into blocking off traffic for the time being.
Rudolph swept his large eyes around and around before finally bending down to take a sip of water out of the decorative pond filled with koi. Steve was going to take advantage of his exhaustion while he could.
"Steve, the diamond weren't with Donner. They're either with Blitzen or Rudolph."
"Copy that," Steve whispered. "I think I've finally got mine cornered."
"Watch out for their hooves."
"Just be glad yours doesn't have antlers."
"Got it covered," Steve had shifted his attention from the little reindeer to the suspicious looking man wandering a little too close by for his liking. He pulled his gun from his holstered quietly and melted back into the foliage. "Have any of you heard from Danny yet?"
As he moved in to overwhelm the man before he had time to draw his gun he heard a pained grunt and a few curses that he knew had to be Danny's. Luckily Chin was already asking if his partner was okay and so for the time being he could have his laser focus on the man that had spotted Rudolph.
Without so much as cracking a twig Steve stepped from his cover and clasped his hand over the man's mouth and twisted his arm behind his back. A gun clattered to his feet and he kicked it off to the side. The man jerked away from his grip and took a swing at him.
Steve blocked it and felt a shock of pain go up his arm as his fist connected with the guy's cheekbone. The man fell to his knees in a daze. Hastily he threw handcuffs on him and handcuffed him to a cement anchored bench in the garden.
With that out of the way Steve turned and quickly moved through the brush again. The image that came to his mind was an eagle plucking a mouse off the ground without the mouse knowing what hit it. He's pretty sure that's what Rudolph felt like as he scooped him up.
"I've got Rudolph and I'm heading back towards the trailer. Send one of the patrol officers to come pick up the guy handcuffed to the bench in the garden in front of the Hilton," Steve said. He locked his arms tighter around the little reindeer as he tried to struggle. "Danny, are you okay? What happened?"
After dropping his thief off at the patrol car Danny jogged to where Blitzen had disappeared. The side street emptied out onto a busier street. A small parking lot was on the other side, butting up against the beachside park where the majority of the reindeer had decided to go after the doors to the trailer had been opened.
He could see Blitzen standing in the shade, busily scraping at the ground and eating the grass. Looking both ways he darted across the street and between two cars at the parking lot. Over the radio he heard that Chin and Kono had finally gotten a hold of Donner, but had no luck with the diamonds. That meant they were either in Rudolph's harness or Blitzen's.
Danny kept radio silence as he crept up on the eldest reindeer, wondering how and why he had gotten the privilege of tackling the largest of the herd. For his part he thought he had done well wrestling down Dasher and dragging her back to the trailer earlier. He was a city boy, after all.
But he was also a cop. Wresting down unwilling suspects was something he was used to. Most suspects didn't have antlers, however. Keeping an eye on the deadly appendages he got himself into place and rushed the reindeer, sliding into her legs like he was sliding into home base.
Blitzen toppled over and bellowed as he leapt on top of her. Danny pulled his head back as her antlers swiped at him. What he should have honestly been watching was her feet.
A hind hoof connected solidly with his knee.
Danny yelped and slackened his grip on her. Blitzen jumped up and ran again. He muttered a few colorful curses and unsteadily got to his feet. She had pegged him in his bad knee, too. That was going to cause problems later, he could already feel it.
"Danny?"
"I am done playing cowboy!" Danny yelled into the receiver as he limped back towards the cars in the parking lot where a truck had pulled up.
Along its side read 'Honolulu Animal Control'.
"You're Detective Williams, right?" the man that hopped out of the truck asked.
"Yes, and please tell me you have the proper equipment to capture loose reindeer," he pleaded.
The man nodded and reached back in the truck cab, pulling out a tranq gun.
"Thank you," Danny snatched the gun and limped back over to the front of the parked cars. He brought the rifle up to his shoulder, lining up the sight with Blitzen and pulled the trigger.
She started to run and then stumbled, slowly getting to her knees and laying down.
"Okay, you can haul her back to the trailer," Danny patted the man on the shoulder as he and the driver ran past him to collect the reindeer. "And you can give me a ride back, too."
When Steve arrived back at their makeshift headquarters, which was the animal trailer and the Camaro, Chin and Kono were already there as was Animal Control and an ambulance. Of course, he expected to see Animal Control but not the ambulance. Then he remembered that Danny had shot one of the numbskull thieves in the leg.
"Thank you! You brought him back safe!" the owner of the reindeer gratefully accepted Rudolph out of his arms and loaded him into the back of the trailer with his momma, Comet. "I don't know how to thank you guys enough. Never in a thousand years would I have ever imagined someone trying to use my reindeer to smuggle jewels."
"Diamonds weren't in his harness," Steve gestured to the littlest one amongst all the cow reindeer.
"Nope. They were in Blitzen's," Kono pointed to the drugged reindeer on the blanket with the two Animal Control guys on either side monitoring her. Her harness was unstrapped and sitting on the Camaro's hood. "Three bells with bags of unmarked diamonds in them."
"That's one hell of a Christmas present," Steve chuckled. He glanced around the group clustered around the back of the trailer. "Where's Danny?"
"Ambulance," Chin said.
Steve frowned. He stalked around to the open back of the ambulance and saw Danny sitting on the bumper with one of the EMTs examining his knee.
"What happened?" Steve asked.
"I'll tell you what happened," Danny said, flicking his wrist at him and giving him a look. A look that warned Steve that Hurricane Danny was getting ready to make landfall. "I got stuck with an insane partner."
"What?"
"Only you! Only you would rather have his team chase down reindeer through the hot and humid streets of Honolulu while two armed gunmen were running around shooting at said reindeer because the goofballs decided that smuggling diamonds in a reindeer harness would be a good idea. Not only that, but they forgot which harness it was in!" Danny paused to take a breath.
Steve jumped in while he was quiet. "But we couldn't wait for Animal Control! One of the gunmen may have killed one of the reindeer."
"I know that, Steven, and I'm not saying that we should've let one of them get killed, what I am saying is that we need to invest in some new weapons," Danny said. "Particularly the nonlethal kind. I know, I know! It's not in Super SEAL's DNA to use something nonlethal, I don't even think it's in your vocabulary. But a couple of tranq guns could prevent this from happening. It would've taken us a whole ten minutes to gather up all the reindeer instead of an entire hour."
"Okay," Steve nodded. He could live with that. "I just thought you were trying to blame your knee getting hurt again on me."
"Oh no, it's still your fault. Because of you I had to tackle a reindeer. No, wait, I had to tackle two reindeer today and an armed gunman," Danny clarified, wincing as the medic prodded at his black and blue knee. "So you're not off the hook, you Neanderthal…why are you laughing?"
Steve tried to stifle his laugh but couldn't quite hide the smirk or amusement in his eyes. He started to walk away from the ambulance, humming.
"Danny got ran over by a reindeer…."
The End
These shorter oneshots are kind of fun to write! Don't know if this one was corny or not. Anyway, would love to hear what you thought! Have a wonderful day!
