I wait for you. Every Night I wait. I really shouldn't, but I've become addicted. I know it's wrong and my morals are all screwed up, but it's so good. I'm not even sure who is in the wrong anymore. Am I the victim or is it you. I guess for now, it doesn't matter.
This isn't normal, but I couldn't fight it. It was like I had been holding back, but that couldn't be right. I've never felt this way before and even now it's only with you, when we play this unlawful game.
The 1st time it happened I was scared and disgusted. I've always known myself to be Asexual, finding the act off-putting, disgusting and unnecessary. But that day, that first time. It left me hollow and aching. I've tried to convince myself that this was all wrong, but I know I'm lying. It was thrilling and smothering flames I had previously never knew existed. A yearning towards an ultimate high.
I'm not scared anymore as we have done this a dozen times now, and I've even learned few tricks, to push our game a little farther along, but it's still not enough. As many addicts before me, I wanted more, I needed more. I wanted it all, everything and anything to take me to that unreachable haven.
Every time we play you leave me just on the edge begging and pleading for more. It's not fair, being tied up, and an taken advantage of in this manner. You force yourself on me promising sweet relief, but I'm always left a quivering gasping mess that is not allowed to finish.
Well I've had enough teasing, so the game ends tonight.
And I plan to be the winner.
no matter what.