Okay, first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHINITORA12!
Second off, HIYA OTHER PEOPLE THAT PROBABLY RAN ACROSS THIS FIC BY PURE CHANCE! This idea randomly popped in my head one day, so it went on a sticky note, as per usual, and with my TOTALLY AWESOME FRIEND shinitora12's birthday coming up, I thought, like any other sane human being, "B-DAY PRESENT!" So, hope you like it, shinitora, and all you other people out there! Here it is, enjoy~
The meeting, as usual, was unproductive. In the end, France had groped 96% of everything in sight, Japan had been utterly mortified due to France groping 96% of everything in sight, Romano had been successfully pissed off (though that was as usual as well), and Prussia had annoyed everyone to their wit's end with his cries of "I AM AWESOME!" So if you count having around twenty or so nations exhausted from fighting one another as being productive, then this meeting was very much so.
However, England, for one, didn't count that as productive. This is a shame, because this is what happens at every meeting, and will probably happen at every meeting from this point forward, unless by some miraculous chance world peace occurs. Which is much less than the percent France wasn't able to grope that day.
"E-Engrand-san!"
Well, at least there was one good nation he could talk to that wasn't overly hyperactive or extremely perverted (Ohonhonhonhon...). England turned to greet the fellow island nation. "'Ello, Japan. How was the meeting by your standards?"
Japan looked nervous for a second, and spared a quick glance back behind him, as if checking to make sure the coast was clear, then turns to face the man in front of him once more. "I-It was arright, I suppose... T-Thank you for asking, Igirisu," He said with a small bow at the end.
Unbeknownst to the two, a certain person with a wheat blond head of hair and a stubborn cowlick had perked up and glanced over to them at the name 'Igirisu'.
"Well, that's good," England replied. He then took on a more dangerous tone of speaking. "I just hope that bloody frog gets the chance to rot in hell before I kill him with my bare hands.
(The wheat-blond in the background looked thoughtful for a moment, then snickered, and looked absolutely amused.)
Japan seemed frightened by his friend's sudden change in personality and tone, as the Brit now had an aura not quite unlike Russia's floating around him (just not as impressive). He quietly panicked, thinking he had done something wrong. "I-Igirisu!" - (another snicker in the background) - "Are you okay? D-Did I do something wrong? Oh, I did, didn't I, だからごめんなさい -!" [1]
England's creepy aura immediately deceased when he saw his friend panicking. "Oh, no, sorry, not you Japan, I was talking about that bastard frog Francis. Sorry about that, Japan, he was just so damn annoying during the meeting."
Japan visibly relaxed upon hearing this. "Oh, that is a rerief, Igirisu," - (once more, a barely contained snicker was left unheard by the two conversing nations) - "I am sorry for panicking. However, I am afraid I must go. My boss said he wanted me to come for some business after the meeting."
"Alright, thank you, Japan." With that the two nations separated, England heading for the exit and Japan looking rather suspicious (if I do say so myself) watching France converse with (and half-grope/sexually harass) Seychelles.
"Hey, England!"
At last, the suspicious character in the background reveals himself as America (as if you couldn't already guess. Come on, people, who else has a cowlick like that?). England let out a sigh and turned to face his former charge. "What is it, America, I happen to be very busy today."
America broke out into a grin (and another barely contained snicker), and said: "Well, since I'm such an awesome hero" - (Oh, God, he's taking after Prussia, isn't he, England thought) - "I couldn't help but heroically overhear your conversation with Japan."
England fumed upon hearing this. "You dolt, it's impolite to listen in on a conversation -"
"As I was heroically saying, I heard Japan call you some sort of name or something. I don't remember what it was, exactly, but it sounded a heck of a lot like Iggy!" - (America snickered slightly here upon saying the ridiculous name out loud) - "So that'swhatI'mtotallyheroiclygoingtocally oufromnowon, BYE!" After saying this completely jumbled mess of words that you may-or-may-not have been able to read, America dashed like a madman out of the conference room, for reasons you are about to see in a moment.
England stood completely still for a few seconds, with a slightly confused expression (along with a VERY shallow blush, but he would kill you if you told him that) upon his face. Then his expression turned into that of anger, with almost cartoon-like figurative steam coming from his ears (in America's mind's eye), and he started running and shouting down to the American nation to whom he was giving chase, "YOU DOLT, THAT'S NOT WHAT HE SAID AT ALL, GET BACK HERE, YOU WANKER!"
"Oh, and by the way, Iggy, it's rude to interrupt people when they're heroically saying something!"
"YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER GIT, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT INTERRUPTED ME!"
"NUH-UH, YOU DID IT FIRST!"
And that is how England was given the name 'Iggy' by the (completely heroic) American nation.
This is also how Japan carried out the idea of attacking a tracker to France with his technology, so that when France entered the same room as Japan, Japan's phone would play the song Stacey's Mom by Fountains of Wayne to warn the quiet nation of an incoming pervert (Ohonhonhonhon...).
"Stacey's Mom has it going on..."
"ああなし!" [2]
[1] だからごめんなさい! - I am so sorry! (Japanese)
[2] ああなし! - Oh no! (Japanese)
I don't know about you, but i likies it :333
Also, to explain a few things, Stacey's Mom by Fountains of Wayne is the perviest song I could find, so I thought it would suit France. Seriously, look up the lyrics. It's pervy. Also Also, that ending is almost directly taken from the fic 333 ways to get kicked out of the UN by iTorchic. Seriously, if you are looking for a completely cracky time, lookituplookituplookitup. It is seriously awesome.
Well, with one more big HAPPY BIRTHDAY for shinitora12, and a PEACE OUT, I'm off! Thanks for reading!
~TG
(P.S. Disclaimer: Hetalia doesn't belong to me.)