You're a monster!
I am not a monster. I am not a monster. They were the monsters, dropping that paint on me. They drove me to it. It isn't my fault. They made me. I am not a monster.
You tried to kill two innocent students!
Neither of them was innocent. I didn't mean to almost kill Sean, but Emma and Jimmy, they had it coming. They stabbed me in the back, they hurt me. They made me bring the gun. They made me do it, they practically handed me the gun. How dare anyone say otherwise!
You deserve to be here!
I don't. I don't want to be here, I don't need to be here. I don't need to be in this hospital bed, inside this prison. I deserve to be with people, people who understand that doing things like bullying and dumping paint on someone is unforgivable. I deserve to be with people who don't need to be punished, I deserve to be with people who I don't have to punish.
How could you do this to me?
It wasn't hard, and no one seemed to care. Raditch never cared, about me, or any of his students. I had to make someone see, teach everyone a lesson, or they wouldn't stop. I didn't deserve to be tormented daily, I really didn't. Raditch, Emma, Jay, Spinner and Jimmy, they drove me to it.
Now I sit in this dark prison cell, waiting for the day I can go on parole, waiting for the day I can leave this hell. I wake up everyday, and walk down the corridors, and they mock me. They know what I have done, but none of them are scared. None of them think that I will hurt them. And their right. They abuse me. When were outside they punch me, hit me. I don't defend myself, because I know, that will only get me in more trouble.
In the line for food, I get tripped, my tray gets knocked down, and I end up sitting in the back of the lunch hall, just waiting. Waiting for the day I can leave this place. This place, this place is too much like high school. Everyone mocking me, judging me based on my past.
I am not the same person. I am not the same person who tried to kill those three people, though I don't regret that. I have changed, and I have learned to control myself. I will not hit someone who hits me, but I will not condone being hit. I will suffer silently.
"Hey. You have a letter."
I look up from my diary, glaring at the man holding a letter threw the bars. Some how I don't believe that this letter is for me, they never are. They are usually just a pile a dog crap, or something of the sort. Nothing that I can say I want to keep. But I take the letter from his hand, knowing I have no other choice. Besides, no one could fit a piece of dog crap in this tiny envelope.
I open it, seeing a small piece of pink paper with the sweet scent of honey on it. Emma's scent. I look at the card quickly, before pulling it out and reading it.
"Dear Richard,
As much as I didn't want to do this, I had to. You have to know the truth. You crippled Jimmy. He can't walk, he can't run, and he can't play basketball. Basketball was his passion, he was really good, and you took that away from him. He was nice to you, he defended you. He even got into a fight with Spinner about you. And you crippled him. Spinner told me what he and Jay told you… He lied to you. Jimmy wasn't the one to pour the paint on you…Spinner and Jay did. You crippled Jimmy for nothing, and you ruined my life because I didn't love you. I shouldn't have been so rude, I know, but you can't just kiss people. I didn't like you like that, and now, now you have messed everyone's life up. I hope you're proud of yourself.
Signed Emma Nelson.
P.S. I only did this because my therapist told me too."
Tears filled my for the first time since I came here. I was wrong. I had messed up. I had just ruined the life of an innocent boy, a boy who had defended me in my hardest moment. I curled up on my bed, and cried, feeling worthless. I was a monster, but I could change. I finished sobbing and moved my rough hand under my pillow, finding the picture of me, Emma, Toby, and Jimmy before the competition.
I was going to make this better. I needed to make this better with Jimmy. I ran my hand over Emma's small, smiling face, and growled. I would make things right with Jimmy, and do what I should have done with Emma, the moment I get out of this hell.