A worried blonde rushed through the white halls and throngs of worried faced individuals starring at a clock. If you were to ask her anything more complex than her own name her mind would have not been able to formulate an answer. Mind on overdrive she reached the receptionist desk gasping for air while at the same time choking out her request.

"Willow Rosenberg. Please!"

Still, despite the fray of emotion her voice sounded steadily. Her eyes however were frenzied telling a story all their own of fear, apprehension, and a most agonizing regret. The receptionist faced with hundreds of individuals daily each sharing in this disposition of desperation could not muster much more than a glance in the direction of the still winded woman before her.

"She is still in surgery at the moment; if you're family I can have the doctor speak with you once he is finished."

It would never be a lie to say that Willow was her family; Willow was her everything. Nodding, not trusting her own voice Tara turned in the direction of the rows of semi comfortable chairs whose cushioned seats had obtained questionable stains whose origins no one wanted to know. Tediously she hung her head allowing her hair to cover her face as she set out in that direction, coming to a stop before a fellow blonde whose head remained hidden within her hands occasionally shaking from left to right in disbelief of the situation. Taking the seat next to Buffy's she waited for her for the slayer to address her presence.

"They took her into surgery the moment she arrived. How? How could this happen?"

At the word surgery Tara's heart fell through the floor and she couldn't help but to be thankful for the chair in which she was currently seated, stains and all, for she was sure that upon hearing those words from Buffy's lips her knees would have given way. Willow. She hadn't seen her redheaded vixen in over a month and now… It seemed surreal that she should find herself here waiting to know if her girlfriend…ex girlfriend…lover….soul mate was going to live. It should have been impossible and as she stumbled through those thoughts Tara couldn't help but whish for the ability to turn back time. Willow…

They hadn't spoken Tara tortured herself with questions that she couldn't answer. Did Willow know how badly every atom of her being ached for her? How the very sinew of her essence called out for her with every breath and every thought? That the reason she hadn't been able to call was that upon hearing the red head's voice she knew she'd have not been able to maintain the required distance. It seemed so cruel that in order to heal they should be separated, but the separation was tolerated out of love and nothing more. It seemed more urgent now than ever that she should say these things however Buffy was not the person who needed to hear them. So she opted for a question.

"Buffy wwwhat happened?"

The second hand of the cold standard clock upon the wall seemed to have stopped completely, and Tara felt an eternity had pass as she was waited for the answer. But that couldn't be right because the flow of time had been pushing and pulling, speeding and slowing, since that ill fated phone call.

The call.

Dawn had called her less than fifteen minutes ago according to the clock though she was beginning to believe the batteries within it had run out of life. Choking at that thought she shook her head once more focusing on Buffy, rather than the lifetime it had taken to reach the hospital, and the mere seconds that had passed since the hurried rush of worried words Dawn had poured into the phone.

"They were out walking back from the library. She's been doing so much better. She hasn't used magic, she's eating, she comes down for Tara, she even helps Dawn with her homework again. Everything was not quite normal yet but getting there so when I asked her to pick Dawn up and she said sure, I didn't think twice about it being so close to dusk. On the way back they were ambushed. A gang of vampires and a few demons looking for revenge against the slayer. They didn't stand a chance but Will held em off. She told, she told Dawn to run. If she hadn't been there…"

Tara felt her breath hitch in her throat followed by terror rising within her chest. If her Willow had gone up against a gang of angry vampires and demons …..the only possible results weren't pretty. Then there was the entire issue of magic, she'd come so far and now, they'd be back at square one.

"Anya had been at the house after she called for an ambulance she went out to see if she could help. Dawn called Xander who found me. According to Anya there was no hint of magic use, she didn't even defend herself. If I hadn't stripped her of her only protection against Hell, then asked her to go out into the darkness defenseless…the would have never happened. This should have never happened."

"Buffy you can't think that. Willow doesn't think that. Ssshe ccouldn't."

Tara found her resolve loosening with every word. There only one string of light in this situation that she could focus on and that was her love's refusal to give into the pull of magic. It was in that moment that she felt complete disgust with herself because a damaged Willow, one who would have to suffer through magical withdraw once again, was eons better than any alternative.

"She really has been trying. So hard. So so hard but I would rather go back to the beginning of this than for her to be hurt. God. Tara. She has more than proved herself but I haven't I never. I. I. i. i."

Tara found herself embracing the blond and felt tears escaping. They bonded over shared feelings of regret and abandonment however they were on a less than traditional side, for they had been the one that left, rather than the one left behind. Willow. Tara found herself searching for strength for herself, for Buffy, for Willow; but, without her center she could do little more than cry into the melancholy embrace.

"I know."

I'm breathing and Willow might not be. She might not be. She might never inhale again. I might never get to see her special Tara smile. I miss her sweet rambling and waking up next to her hungry eyes as she'd wrap her arms around me, and cuddles, hearing her whisper "vixen" is my ears, hearing her say "I love you" with her soul. She didn't want to hurt me. Goddess she never meant to do harm to any creature other than vampires and the occasional demon. Everyone expected her to be perfect and she always tried to live up to it. Goddess I can't lose her. Please! Willow, please.

I remember the last time that we were here. It was after…Glory what she said even after our argument I will never forget those words.

"She's my everything."

Please oh goddess let her live.

"She's a fighter. As little credit as we give her she, managed to hold her own against a gang of demons with no magic. She's a fighter. She'll make it. She has to. I mean for all we know she might be in there and just have a slight bump on the head. She might just you know be bruised and they can't tell us because we aren't listed as next of kin."

It felt adequate that one of them should ramble for of all things that was a very Willowy trait. However the rambling soon was done, Tara having no answer, and Buffy choking in tears.

They had both become so attuned to the quiet background noise that upon the swishing of the doors to surgery neither bothered to glance up. It wasn't until they saw a pair of nike sneakers stopping before them that they jumped each looking at the doctor each of them turinging slightly green at the sight of his blood covered scrubs.

"Can I speak with the Ulchival Family?"

Letting out a breath of relief Tara's eyes once more fell to the ground.

"I I it's a g g good thing that t t they are taking s so long r right? It m means t that s she can be h helped and t they are h helping her."

Tara stutter told each of them of how comforting her words truly were, or rather how her words lacked comfort.

"Yyou spoke whit Anya?"

Buffy nodded turning green at the emotion Anya had slipped.

Both of them in that moment how grave Willow's condition truly was. The now human Anya was known to be well slightly less than sensitive when it came to gore. If the ex vengeance demon was disturbed…

Willow who more than begged for my forgiveness. For my friendship and I left her alone. To solve her problems. She twisted herself into knots to prove herself every chance she had.

Buffy head was once again in her hands shaking slowly from left to right and back again. Tara had zoned out staring blankly into the fish tank her eyes following the lonely clown fish as it searched for a companion. When they heard the swish of doors opening once again neither noticed, until…

"Are you the family of Willow Rosenberg?"

"Yes !"

They both said at the same time looking at the doctor for the answers.

"What is your relationship with her?"

"Friend."

They both sprang up at the same time looking over the doctor whom had adorned fresh scrubs, however his sorrowful expression stopped each of their hearts. Ironically this was the place for such an occurrence.

"I apologize but this hospital has a strict policy against giving out patient information to anyone other than family. You can feel free to wait while we try and get in contact with."

Before either female could take offense to his assumption that neither were of blood relation to the red head, the doctor was cut off mid-sentence.

"I'm her brother."

Xander said appearing from almost nowhere. His eyes and nose were red however as he met the doctors gaze his shoulders squared as if daring the smaller doctor to disagree with him. His jacket was wrinkled an obvious after thought and he was breathing heavily having run from the parking lot at top speed. The doctor whom did not at the moment have Willow's medical record on him, who hadn't bothered to glance at the paper simply met the imposters gaze.

"Name?"

"Xander Rosenberg."

"Would you prefer we go somewhere private to discuss your sister's condition?"

The doctor obviously wanted to move the conversation however in true Xander fashion his arms crossed before his chest as he moved behind the chairs of two of his girls.

"These guys are more like family than our parents ever were. Anything you can tell me they can hear as well. The Willster's alright right?"

The poor man cleared his throat noting the predatory gaze in the smaller blonds eyes, fearing her moreso than the man before him claiming to be his patients sibling. Stepping back slightly and glancing over to be sure of a security guards presence he clasped his hands before him as he began an explination.

"I'm not going to lie, she was touch and upon arrival.

She has a mild concussion that we're monitoring . Brain swelling after a traumatic impact to the head isn't uncommon however so far she has been responding nicely to our treatment and we have yet to observe any symptoms.

she is covered in contusions and lacerations we believe that one of the muggers was wearing a ring. There are also obvious bite marks some of a human nature, others well appear canine we administered the proper assortment of tetnis shots combined with a rabies vaccination. We are worried about an infection though . As you know in hospitals merca is not uncommon. She is stable now but if she gets an infection with her body as weak as it is we'd be looking at en extended stay. There are two broken ribs, her left arm is sprained, and there was a bit of internal damage. The later is what caused the surgery to last for such a long period of time. She'll be in the ICU for the night and tomorrow morning she'll be moved to a common hospital room where she can receive visitors."

The doctor would have been sixteen feet under from the look that Tara was shooting him and Xander had to quickly reach around to grab Buffy's shoulders using all of his weight to keep her in the seat.

"Thank you. Is there any way we could see her tonight? I'd rather not have her wake up alone after being mugged, she's my little sister."

The fact of the matter was, that even if there was no common blood between them Xander was the closest thing Willow had to a brother, and she was indeed his sister. The earnest tone stopped the doctor in his tracks and for the first time he truly looked over Xander.

"I suppose one person of family relation could stay by her side tonight though she shouldn't wake until tomorrow. The anastetic administered was quite powerful combined with the morphine dosage she shouldn't honestly be up until tomorrow morning. Even then don't be alarmed if she is slightly less than lucid."

And with those words he quickly escaped for the doctor doubted that the young man could hold down both women.

"I'll stay with her Buffy. She shouldn't wake up tonight and if she does I promise that I will be there. You need to get home to Dawn, both of you should. She's locked herself in Willow's room and well, Anya's never been good with emotional emotions."

Xander's sad joke brought half smiles to their faces. Tara though was about to protest for there was nothing powerful enough to force her from that waiting room. She would be as close to her soul mate as she possible could…she needed to be as close to Willow as possible.

"I ran here."

Buffy's whispered admission however brought her down from those thoughts. Looking at her for a steady moment she realized that her appearance had to be one of disarray which would only worry Willow if she were to wake up. Sighing as she reached for her purse she was unable to make eye contact with Xander.

"I'll drive you."

The whispered words floated through the air and Xander watched as they slowly slumped away clouds of distress leaving with them. One thought however ran through his mind, and that was praise to every god he'd learnt of in school that his Willow was still kicking. Maybe not punching with her sprained wrist but that could come later.

…

A.N.

So I rewrote this chapter simply because I knew I could do better. I do believe that I have. I STILL don't own anything. I suppose that was to be expected though.

I live for feedback so if you feel the holiday cheer and want to spread some to the author with the green shoelaces…well…I wouldn't complain. Quite the opposite really.

The next chapter you'll find has been rewritten as well.

Until next time,

G. Laces