Warnings: Slash, Angst
Fandom: Naruto!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!
Written for the writing prompt challenge on r/NarutoFanfiction.
Prompt: Base your story on/include the line: "I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that they're you."
A Sensei's Love
Naruto groaned, grabbing onto the other man for dear life. He couldn't help it. He missed his silver haired sensei with his whole being. So, when the older man forced his lips to his and pushed his tongue into his mouth, Naruto's eyes slammed shut, and had to stop the moan from escaping. Kakashi had always been his secret fantasy, and after all these years, he couldn't believe it had finally came true.
Naruto felt his lover grab him around his waist and he went willingly as he was lifted up and carried to the motel's bed. Sure, his relationship with the man wasn't entirely too functional, but he still couldn't get enough of the attention that was given to him, after all it was one of his weaknesses.
Naruto groaned looking around for what woke him up. The smell of liquor and their previous activities assaulted his nose and he had to stop the swooshing of his stomach. He squinted his eyes, trying to stave off the migraine he knew would be coming. He spied the bedside clock and realized what woke him. It was the bed being jostled as the older man left. He was alone in bed, again. It was 3am and this always happened. He could count on it like clockwork. Naruto couldn't blame the other man. He did have a busy schedule to keep; no use wasting any more time on him than necessary, it's not like either of them were the cuddly type, right? As long as he had Kakashi's undivided attention for a few hours, he could forgive and forget.
The motel door snicked shut, deafening in the quiet of the room. Naruto grabbed the cold sweat soaked sheets and threw them over his shoulder, bunkering down for warmth. He tossed and turned until he growled out and moved the extra pillow to his back. Maybe if he believed hard enough, he could imagine that he wasn't alone and Kakashi was still by his side. Why did he have to leave? Wasn't Naruto enough? He trained and trained, getting strong in his 17 years, but look where that got him. He was still alone in some motel room. His chest hurt and unwanted tears filled his eyes. He would make do. He loved Kakashi and if this was the only way he could have him, then so be it. Naruto shut his eyes, cuddled up next to the pillow at his back and fell back into a restless sleep.
The banging of the front door startled Naruto awake and he had to cover his ears from the angry motel manager yelling that his time was up and that he had to leave. At least the silver haired man had the decency to pay for the room last night, Naruto didn't think he could keep affording to pay for the rooms each time.
Naruto gathered up his clothes, rushing to get dressed, worried that the man would act on his threat of busting the door down and throwing him out by force, nude or not. Apparently, he had seen worse, and judging by the area that they were in, Naruto had to believe him.
When Naruto heard counting, he grabbed the last of his things and rushed to the door, just as the handle started to turn.
"Jeeze kid, you look like shit. Rough night? That other guy must've really let you have it." The deep voice held a mocking tone and Naruto couldn't stop the blush that formed. He was about to reply when the man continued.
"Well, it's none of my business. You're all payed up. Hope that guy was worth it. Looks like you won't be sitting down for days." The manager laughed at his own joke and Naruto pushed his way past, stumbling over the two steps outside the door. He just wanted to go home and sleep. It wasn't like Kakashi or Sakura would mind if he skipped one day of training.
Naruto walked on autopilot, his knees week and his body throbbing. The drinking didn't help, but it was easier to forget the empty room when he was drunk. The sun burned his eyes and he didn't notice the person walking in front of him until they crashed into each other. He sat stunned on the ground while the other man dusted himself off and held out his hand.
"Hey, sorry 'bout that, Naruto. Akamaru didn't warn me that I was in anyone's way." Kiba scowled at his companion who barked and looked away, as if saying don't blame him.
Naruto grabbed Kiba's hand and gratefully let himself be pulled up. He didn't think he would have been able to get up on his own. Naruto didn't notice Kiba and Akamaru scrutinizing him as he threw his hand behind his head and forced out a laugh.
"It was my fault Kiba, I should have known where I was walking. To tell you the truth, I kinda spaced out."
"Well it's nice to see you out of the house, even if it looks like you went twenty rounds with Guy-sensei and smell like-," at this Kiba scrunched up his nose, but quickly made his face blank, "-fun activities." Kiba winced, even though he tried not to judge, he couldn't stop the cringe of his words. The Inuzuka winced again when Naruto let out another strained laugh.
"Yeah, bit of a long night. If you don't mind, I'd like to get home. You know shower, maybe get some sleep." Naruto was looking anywhere but at Kiba. He knew what he smelt like and he also knew Inuzuka's had an enhanced sense of smell. He could only imagine what he smelled like to someone that sensitive.
"It looks like you definitely need it." Naruto saw another grimace from Kiba and just as he was about to agree, the other continued hurriedly. "Some sleep I mean, not that you don't need to sh-ughhh." Naruto could hear Kiba cursing and mumbling to himself. A couple barks from Akamaru and Naruto knew he should at least give his friend an out.
"Kiba, really, it's okay. I know what you meant. No hard feelings, okay?" Naruto just wanted to go home, was that so much to ask for...
"After you get some sleep, would you and Sakura want to come train with Hinata, Shino and me? It's been awhile since we all spared together." Kiba looked earnest in his question and Naruto knew that it really had been a long time, but he just didn't feel up to it.
"Not today, okay? I gotta go Kiba. I'll see you around." Naruto mumbled out and started to walk past Kiba when the other male grabbed his arm.
"You know you can talk to any of us, right? We're all worried about you. It's been a couple months now and-" Kiba was cut off as Naruto thrust his arm out of Kiba's grasp and bit out, "I'm fine. I'm handling it."
Naruto left Kiba and Akamaru standing in the middle of the road as he ran for it. He had to get away. It didn't matter if his body hurt or if he wasn't loved. None of that mattered anymore. He just had to get away from all the pitying looks, all the worried glances. Stop looking at him like that! He wanted to shout at everybody, lash out. Everyone just needed to butt out, Kakashi loved him, he had said so, and that was all that mattered. So, Naruto ran, past his apartment and to another area that he knew like the back of his hand.
When he realized where he was, Naruto dropped to his knees, salty tears stinging his eyes. His fingers automatically went to one name in particular, tracing the cold letters on the KIA memorial stone. Cold and dead as the people on the stone.
Kakashi Hatake
Naruto felt the tears fall unbidden, his grief consuming him. It wasn't fair. They were finally together. Why...
"It's been a-awhile." Naruto choked out. He could feel the words catch in his throat, but after running into Kiba, he knew what had to be done. He had to find another way to grieve. It wasn't right and it definitely wasn't safe. Kakashi would have been upset with him. Just because he had died didn't mean Naruto could put himself into an early grave. He shouldn't be ignoring his friends, his family. They were the only ones he had left.
Even though Sakura came by every week, he could hear the knocks, the yelling, the pleading. She would leave food outside his door and when she came back and see everything still sitting there, she would burst in. Make him shower, clean the liquor bottles strewn about, and finally make him eat. He knew he should thank her, she was hurting just as much as him. She was the one left behind with him in the village while he left with Jiraiya. He knew Sakura saw Kakashi as a second father. Always the protector.
He let out a shaky breath, trying and failing to pull himself together. He couldn't! It had only been three months ago that Kakashi was right next to him, teasing him! He could still hear Kakashi saying that if Naruto wasn't out of bed and dressed by the time he was out of the shower, then he would have been the one to explain to Sakura why he was naked in their sensei's bed. It didn't matter that Sakura had already known. Everybody did, but that didn't stop Naruto from rushing out of the bed and jumping into the warm shower with Kakashi.
"I-I can't keep kissing strangers...a-and pretending that they're you."