Title: Dreams of our Fathers 1/1
Author: Jessica C. Malfoy
E-mail: JessicaCMalfoy@aol.com
Genre: Angst (Maybe), General
Rating: PG-13 (To be safe…)
Main Character: Draco Malfoy
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this song, 'Dreams of our Fathers', this fic title, nor do I own Draco Malfoy, though I wish I did, and I do not own the idea for this song fic.
A/N: No, this idea is not mine. The credit goes to METMA Mandy (Join METMA!) for coming up with this idea. And thanks for her letting me 'borrow' it. ^_~ As well, the words in 'this' are the lyrics, for I highly doubt that FF.net will center it and put italics on it like I have it on my computer.
Dreams of our Fathers
Draco Malfoy was almost finished with his Hogwarts career, and still he wasn't sure on all that he had done. Sure, he barely beat Potter for the 'Head Boy' badge, but it was just a badge.
In his 6th year, he had quit playing Quidditch, for Father was upset that he might not be Head Boy, and had him study till he sweat. True, being Head Boy did have it's advantages, but he didn't have a team supporting, or even acting like it, him.
'I'm choking I'm choking
On the smoke of this burning house
I claw and I scrape
But I can't seem to get out oh
But who the who is this
That's scratching from the ground
It's my world too
But who's gold is this I'm digging out'
Draco looked back at his journal. He had kept it since he first came to Hogwarts. He wrote in it often, often feeling foolish of himself for doing so. It wasn't the idea that Father had in mind for him to use it though. No, Father wanted him to use it to write down what he did, that way when Father died, Draco would know what to do, even though Father wasn't there.
Draco didn't know when that day would come, but he didn't want Father to die. Maybe loosen up a bit and let him play Quidditch for a change, and having his broom back would be an excellent plus.
He flipped back into the journal, looking, maybe for something that showed that he actually changed something, for better or for worse.
'When we go where we go
When we're dead
Is the verdict still out
Do we get into the line
To line up with those long dead now
With muffled tears of sorrow
For bones underground
This is our time yes it is
Without or with this shadow of doubt'
Draco looked back at the journal, after being lost in his thoughts, which he had been doing a lot recently. Sometimes doing it during class, walking the corridors, or times like now.
He paused and looked at one entry that he had made in his 5th year.
'Journal, November 14th
Today was nothing out of the ordinary, Charms, Transfiguration, DADA, and then Potions. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Other then before I left, Snape asked me to stay behind. And I quote, "Draco, do you know what you want to grow up to be," an to tell you the truth, I did not know an honest answer. I still don't even now as I'm thinking about it. Not a single clue, and I am already in 5th year, besides the remainder of this year, I have only 2 years left. That's not all that long. I need to owl Father and ask him what I should do….'
'Don't want to wake up
Lost in the dreams of our fathers
It's such a waste child
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers
Though I must confess yes
My dreams are a wonder about this
This love I possess love
Must be the dreams of our fathers'
Draco re-read that entry. Maybe he wasn't thinking straight when he wrote that, yes that has to be it. Father didn't make all of the decisions, just about all of them.
He blinked several times, and wondered what in the world he was doing then and what he was going to do now. It was too late for him to decide to do something drastic, for he was in his 7th year. Not anymore courses to take, soon what protection Hogwarts did present, would only be a faint memory, a childhood memory, at that.
He knew that he should do something that he didn't let Father bully him into doing. Maybe he wouldn't marry Pansy; maybe he would marry somebody else. He might even be as daring to marry somebody out of his house, but not the house of Gryffindor. No, that was a suicide attempt right there. Or maybe he just wouldn't marry at all, and move into somewhere that nobody would even dare to look for him there.
Wild fantasies filled his mind, at the thought of finally gaining the upper hand against Father, and then he would slip up, somehow, and then Father would bring hell at full force to him.
But they kept on coming. Living his life the way that he wanted to live it.
'I wanna go I wanna run
We turn and so sure someone's looking down
It's haunting me haunting me
Leaves us here to get out
Though I don't believe I don't believe
This flavor in my mouth
Is from my tongue alone
So bitter I wanna spit it out'
Draco was lying down, the fantasies taking him to places that he wouldn't even dare to go or even do to get there for that matter. No, he was Draco Malfoy. He wouldn't let any one tell him what to do.
"You know Draco, look at you now," one voice in his head started, "you are everything you are today because of Father."
Another voice popped up, "Well, this is Draco's life, not his Father's 2nd here on Earth."
"He should have the proper respect for his Father all the same."
"Fathers…Draco, don't listen to him, he has a pitchfork still stuck up his arse, you do what Draco wants to do."
"Draco, you know that Father will not be all that pleased with you if you do not do as he says," the first voice started again.
Draco sighed; he knew what would happen to him if he didn't.
'I repeat these words
They come out
Under the blue light in this sky
My empty pages are filling up
With these wicked lies
But I hear deep in myself
An echo and echo
Of empty empty emptiness
Comes up and swells inside'
Draco paused from listening to the voices and looked back at his journal and looked at another entry.
'March 25th, 6th year,
Father owled today and informed me of what I am to do now. I still have a choice you know. Follow his orders or die, and I don't like either option all that much, if you really want to know the truth..'
Well, he still had that choice, and nothing had changed since then. Die or follow his Father's footsteps.
'I don't want to wake up
Lost in the dreams of our fathers
It's such a waste child
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers
Though I must confess yes
My views are a wonder about this
This love I possess love
It must be the dreams of our fathers'
Draco closed the journal, be it from bad memories or from the fact that he was so stupid, even last year…He sat up and grabbed his cloak, he was not going to take all of this lying down, he would at least put up a front to fight.
As he left the Slytherin Common Room, a deep rumble sounded, like a creature was inside Hogwarts, itself.
He had to talk to somebody. Somebody that he could trust and was loyal to him, and that just knocked out the entire school except for three people, maybe four, but he preferred to stick with his original three.
He walked up to Professor Snape's office, only to see a note in his tiny, rushed, handwriting, "Gone to collect ingredients," and Draco ripped it off and ripped it to shreds.
Where could he be? He had to talk to him, or somebody that would provide more feedback then just a simple grunt. He had to find him, before he would just explode, you could say.
Draco went out of the Great Hall, and was met with a hard rainfall that slapped at his face.
"Well, this just fits the mood entirely, doesn't," he said out loud to himself, though he could barely hear himself say it over the sound of the storm.
Rain on my head
Rain on my head
Rain on me
Can give this up
Rain on my life
Again and again
Why can't I dream this away from me
Draco looked out into the Forbidden Forest, he could've gone in there. But then, Snape could've gone to the lake, or even Hogsmeade for that matter. So, he did what every other student would've done.
He sat down on the steps and watched himself get drenched in the pouring rain, waiting for his Professor to return.
About 10 minutes later, Professor Snape did return and didn't have the greatest look, since Draco Malfoy was just sitting there on the steps, soaked to the bone and back, and what really unnerved him, was that he didn't mind the cold. Slytherins and cold weather got along fine, but this was pushing it.
"Mr. Malfoy, what do you think you're doing out here?"
"Oh, Professor, I need to talk to you, and you weren't there at your office, so I came out here."
"You could've just waited in my office," Snape said, a bit annoyed that Draco hadn't thought of that before and that he was likely to catch something out here.
"But who knows when you would've came back," Draco said standing up, and made the heavy robes give away some of the water they had taken in, during the wait.
"Let's go to my office, but you are going to your dorm and change out of those clothes, I'll be waiting," Snape said and went into Hogwarts, his own robes sending water on the floor whenever he took a step or turned.
About 20 minutes later, Draco went into Snape's office and sat down in his usual chair and waited for his Professor. He knew this office very well, and the preserved organs didn't seem to bother him all that much anymore, that is, if it wasn't a bad storm outside, like there was now.
He just wanted to tell it right now, in case he lost his nerve halfway through it. He wanted to get all of it out.
'Look at you look at you find new
Bloated floating
Go belly down
Belly up in the water
But who is this here that drowned
We followed a drunken man
Got us spinning round
But it's like he swallowed himself
And didn't leave us a way out'
Severus Snape arrived several minutes later and sat behind his desk. "Mr. Malfoy, you have my attention now."
Draco paused, he was going to freeze up, he couldn't let that happen. He had to get all of it out. All of it. Every single last word of it out.
"Professor, I…I don't want to follow in my Father's footsteps, I want to do something different. Maybe something drastic or not follow all of his steps, but I don't want to become him. I want to…be me. Is there something wrong with not following in your Father's footsteps? I mean, if there is, I'm going to be wrong no matter what I try to do and then…"
"Draco, calm down before you over-excite yourself. Now, I was wondering if you were going to follow in your Father's footsteps for a while now. Everything seemed to point towards it, but nevertheless, here you are now. What changed your mind?"
"I don't know, sir. I was just thinking about all of my years here and it sort of just came to me."
"No voices?"
"Well, yes, but everybody thinks they have those from time to time."
"No, Mr. Malfoy, every one does have them. They only make their presence known when something life-changing pops up, or will soon pop up. And from what you just told me, your entire life will change."
"There is a catch, Professor. Father has long told me if I didn't follow him, step-by-step, he would kill me."
"What exactly does he want you do to?"
"Join the Dark Lord."
'I don't want to wake up
Lost in the dreams of our fathers
It's such a shame child
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers
Though I must confess yes
My view is a wonder about this
This love I possess love
It must be the dreams of our fathers'
'This love I posses love
It must be the dreams of our fathers
This love I posses love
It must be the dreams of our fathers
This love I posses love
It must be the love of our fathers'
Severus looked at the boy that would be a man in several months. This was a bit shocking, for he had been talking about ways that he could help the Dark Lord succeed in finally taking over. This was something that even surprised him.
"And if I don't, sir, Father will kill me, like I said earlier."
"Draco, there is always a loophole, and you're not going to like me to mention this, but I have too."
Draco listened to him, any loophole would probably be better then the choices that he faced right now.
"Join me, as a spy."
Author: Jessica C. Malfoy
E-mail: JessicaCMalfoy@aol.com
Genre: Angst (Maybe), General
Rating: PG-13 (To be safe…)
Main Character: Draco Malfoy
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this song, 'Dreams of our Fathers', this fic title, nor do I own Draco Malfoy, though I wish I did, and I do not own the idea for this song fic.
A/N: No, this idea is not mine. The credit goes to METMA Mandy (Join METMA!) for coming up with this idea. And thanks for her letting me 'borrow' it. ^_~ As well, the words in 'this' are the lyrics, for I highly doubt that FF.net will center it and put italics on it like I have it on my computer.
Dreams of our Fathers
Draco Malfoy was almost finished with his Hogwarts career, and still he wasn't sure on all that he had done. Sure, he barely beat Potter for the 'Head Boy' badge, but it was just a badge.
In his 6th year, he had quit playing Quidditch, for Father was upset that he might not be Head Boy, and had him study till he sweat. True, being Head Boy did have it's advantages, but he didn't have a team supporting, or even acting like it, him.
'I'm choking I'm choking
On the smoke of this burning house
I claw and I scrape
But I can't seem to get out oh
But who the who is this
That's scratching from the ground
It's my world too
But who's gold is this I'm digging out'
Draco looked back at his journal. He had kept it since he first came to Hogwarts. He wrote in it often, often feeling foolish of himself for doing so. It wasn't the idea that Father had in mind for him to use it though. No, Father wanted him to use it to write down what he did, that way when Father died, Draco would know what to do, even though Father wasn't there.
Draco didn't know when that day would come, but he didn't want Father to die. Maybe loosen up a bit and let him play Quidditch for a change, and having his broom back would be an excellent plus.
He flipped back into the journal, looking, maybe for something that showed that he actually changed something, for better or for worse.
'When we go where we go
When we're dead
Is the verdict still out
Do we get into the line
To line up with those long dead now
With muffled tears of sorrow
For bones underground
This is our time yes it is
Without or with this shadow of doubt'
Draco looked back at the journal, after being lost in his thoughts, which he had been doing a lot recently. Sometimes doing it during class, walking the corridors, or times like now.
He paused and looked at one entry that he had made in his 5th year.
'Journal, November 14th
Today was nothing out of the ordinary, Charms, Transfiguration, DADA, and then Potions. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Other then before I left, Snape asked me to stay behind. And I quote, "Draco, do you know what you want to grow up to be," an to tell you the truth, I did not know an honest answer. I still don't even now as I'm thinking about it. Not a single clue, and I am already in 5th year, besides the remainder of this year, I have only 2 years left. That's not all that long. I need to owl Father and ask him what I should do….'
'Don't want to wake up
Lost in the dreams of our fathers
It's such a waste child
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers
Though I must confess yes
My dreams are a wonder about this
This love I possess love
Must be the dreams of our fathers'
Draco re-read that entry. Maybe he wasn't thinking straight when he wrote that, yes that has to be it. Father didn't make all of the decisions, just about all of them.
He blinked several times, and wondered what in the world he was doing then and what he was going to do now. It was too late for him to decide to do something drastic, for he was in his 7th year. Not anymore courses to take, soon what protection Hogwarts did present, would only be a faint memory, a childhood memory, at that.
He knew that he should do something that he didn't let Father bully him into doing. Maybe he wouldn't marry Pansy; maybe he would marry somebody else. He might even be as daring to marry somebody out of his house, but not the house of Gryffindor. No, that was a suicide attempt right there. Or maybe he just wouldn't marry at all, and move into somewhere that nobody would even dare to look for him there.
Wild fantasies filled his mind, at the thought of finally gaining the upper hand against Father, and then he would slip up, somehow, and then Father would bring hell at full force to him.
But they kept on coming. Living his life the way that he wanted to live it.
'I wanna go I wanna run
We turn and so sure someone's looking down
It's haunting me haunting me
Leaves us here to get out
Though I don't believe I don't believe
This flavor in my mouth
Is from my tongue alone
So bitter I wanna spit it out'
Draco was lying down, the fantasies taking him to places that he wouldn't even dare to go or even do to get there for that matter. No, he was Draco Malfoy. He wouldn't let any one tell him what to do.
"You know Draco, look at you now," one voice in his head started, "you are everything you are today because of Father."
Another voice popped up, "Well, this is Draco's life, not his Father's 2nd here on Earth."
"He should have the proper respect for his Father all the same."
"Fathers…Draco, don't listen to him, he has a pitchfork still stuck up his arse, you do what Draco wants to do."
"Draco, you know that Father will not be all that pleased with you if you do not do as he says," the first voice started again.
Draco sighed; he knew what would happen to him if he didn't.
'I repeat these words
They come out
Under the blue light in this sky
My empty pages are filling up
With these wicked lies
But I hear deep in myself
An echo and echo
Of empty empty emptiness
Comes up and swells inside'
Draco paused from listening to the voices and looked back at his journal and looked at another entry.
'March 25th, 6th year,
Father owled today and informed me of what I am to do now. I still have a choice you know. Follow his orders or die, and I don't like either option all that much, if you really want to know the truth..'
Well, he still had that choice, and nothing had changed since then. Die or follow his Father's footsteps.
'I don't want to wake up
Lost in the dreams of our fathers
It's such a waste child
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers
Though I must confess yes
My views are a wonder about this
This love I possess love
It must be the dreams of our fathers'
Draco closed the journal, be it from bad memories or from the fact that he was so stupid, even last year…He sat up and grabbed his cloak, he was not going to take all of this lying down, he would at least put up a front to fight.
As he left the Slytherin Common Room, a deep rumble sounded, like a creature was inside Hogwarts, itself.
He had to talk to somebody. Somebody that he could trust and was loyal to him, and that just knocked out the entire school except for three people, maybe four, but he preferred to stick with his original three.
He walked up to Professor Snape's office, only to see a note in his tiny, rushed, handwriting, "Gone to collect ingredients," and Draco ripped it off and ripped it to shreds.
Where could he be? He had to talk to him, or somebody that would provide more feedback then just a simple grunt. He had to find him, before he would just explode, you could say.
Draco went out of the Great Hall, and was met with a hard rainfall that slapped at his face.
"Well, this just fits the mood entirely, doesn't," he said out loud to himself, though he could barely hear himself say it over the sound of the storm.
Rain on my head
Rain on my head
Rain on me
Can give this up
Rain on my life
Again and again
Why can't I dream this away from me
Draco looked out into the Forbidden Forest, he could've gone in there. But then, Snape could've gone to the lake, or even Hogsmeade for that matter. So, he did what every other student would've done.
He sat down on the steps and watched himself get drenched in the pouring rain, waiting for his Professor to return.
About 10 minutes later, Professor Snape did return and didn't have the greatest look, since Draco Malfoy was just sitting there on the steps, soaked to the bone and back, and what really unnerved him, was that he didn't mind the cold. Slytherins and cold weather got along fine, but this was pushing it.
"Mr. Malfoy, what do you think you're doing out here?"
"Oh, Professor, I need to talk to you, and you weren't there at your office, so I came out here."
"You could've just waited in my office," Snape said, a bit annoyed that Draco hadn't thought of that before and that he was likely to catch something out here.
"But who knows when you would've came back," Draco said standing up, and made the heavy robes give away some of the water they had taken in, during the wait.
"Let's go to my office, but you are going to your dorm and change out of those clothes, I'll be waiting," Snape said and went into Hogwarts, his own robes sending water on the floor whenever he took a step or turned.
About 20 minutes later, Draco went into Snape's office and sat down in his usual chair and waited for his Professor. He knew this office very well, and the preserved organs didn't seem to bother him all that much anymore, that is, if it wasn't a bad storm outside, like there was now.
He just wanted to tell it right now, in case he lost his nerve halfway through it. He wanted to get all of it out.
'Look at you look at you find new
Bloated floating
Go belly down
Belly up in the water
But who is this here that drowned
We followed a drunken man
Got us spinning round
But it's like he swallowed himself
And didn't leave us a way out'
Severus Snape arrived several minutes later and sat behind his desk. "Mr. Malfoy, you have my attention now."
Draco paused, he was going to freeze up, he couldn't let that happen. He had to get all of it out. All of it. Every single last word of it out.
"Professor, I…I don't want to follow in my Father's footsteps, I want to do something different. Maybe something drastic or not follow all of his steps, but I don't want to become him. I want to…be me. Is there something wrong with not following in your Father's footsteps? I mean, if there is, I'm going to be wrong no matter what I try to do and then…"
"Draco, calm down before you over-excite yourself. Now, I was wondering if you were going to follow in your Father's footsteps for a while now. Everything seemed to point towards it, but nevertheless, here you are now. What changed your mind?"
"I don't know, sir. I was just thinking about all of my years here and it sort of just came to me."
"No voices?"
"Well, yes, but everybody thinks they have those from time to time."
"No, Mr. Malfoy, every one does have them. They only make their presence known when something life-changing pops up, or will soon pop up. And from what you just told me, your entire life will change."
"There is a catch, Professor. Father has long told me if I didn't follow him, step-by-step, he would kill me."
"What exactly does he want you do to?"
"Join the Dark Lord."
'I don't want to wake up
Lost in the dreams of our fathers
It's such a shame child
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers
Though I must confess yes
My view is a wonder about this
This love I possess love
It must be the dreams of our fathers'
'This love I posses love
It must be the dreams of our fathers
This love I posses love
It must be the dreams of our fathers
This love I posses love
It must be the love of our fathers'
Severus looked at the boy that would be a man in several months. This was a bit shocking, for he had been talking about ways that he could help the Dark Lord succeed in finally taking over. This was something that even surprised him.
"And if I don't, sir, Father will kill me, like I said earlier."
"Draco, there is always a loophole, and you're not going to like me to mention this, but I have too."
Draco listened to him, any loophole would probably be better then the choices that he faced right now.
"Join me, as a spy."