Power Tower
Shego really, really, really hated that store.
She also really, really, really hated that she happened to live above it, meaning she'd have to walk by it whenever she wanted to leave her apartment building.
"Damn wedding store," she muttered as she stomped by it, glaring at the sparkling white dress in the window and the flowery display surrounding it. "You know," she said, talking to the dress as if it were a person, "white's such a stupid color. Nobody looks good in white. I mean, way to make the fat, pale girls feel like freaks."
Then she realized not only was she talking to an inanimate object, but she was actually sticking up for fat girls - technically, she could get away with sticking up for pale girls because she was one. But fat girls? That was inexcusable. Shego growled, and kept stomping down the street and into a dingy cafe, muttering death threats towards the wedding shop.
If only her green power, the one thing left over from her Team Go days that was actually useful, could burn buildings like real fire could. But no, only when she really focused could she actually burn anything, and then she could only burn up small, easily flammable objects, like paper...
And that made it all worse, because it made her think of the one time she managed to incinerate a piece of paper. "Wow, first she gets a car and follows me everywhere," Shego groaned, remembering back to when Kim Possible first got that tricked-out purple vehicle of death, "and now she's in my brain. She really is like bacteria."
"Um, can I help you?"
Shego glared down at a diminutive freckled boy, once again angry at her promise to Doctor Drakken. "Yes," she spat, "here's some money. Gimme coffee. Now."
The boy scurried to work the cash register, and Shego tapped her recently manicured, black-lacquered nails on the counter impatiently. She needed caffeine.
Did that boy hear her? She needed -
Oh, there it was. Shego didn't say anything, she just snapped up the steaming beverage, gulped down as much as she could before she couldn't feel her tongue, and then stomped out of the small, independent coffee shop.
Well, she did have a burnt tongue and the coffee was really crappy, but at least she wasn't putting anymore money into the hands of Starbucks. If she couldn't steal from the Starbucks empire, then the least she could do was never actually buy coffee from them, no matter how much better their coffee was than the lowly little independent cafe near her apartment.
Then, to make matters worse, she actually had to go to work.
"I love kids," she muttered as she continued to stomp her way down the city block to the high school where she worked. "I love kids, they're easy to scare and an easy source of income, and I have enough stashed away that my crappy teacher's salary doesn't hurt me in the long run."
She finally arrived, threw her coffee cup in the trash, and stomped up the stairs to her classroom.
Friday.
Thank God it was Friday...
And she had a pop quiz.
Life was -
Ah, screw it.
Life sucked.
---
"Remember, your term papers are due on Monday!" Shego snarled as her last class of the day fled her room. She couldn't help but grin - ever since she started working there, her infamous term papers became the talk of the senior class. Even better that she assigned two during the seniors' second semester, when they thought they were free from the tyranny of work.
As she packed up and left the classroom, a tall man with a sharp style and staggering sense of wit opened another classroom door. He grinned, and she nodded back. "Hey, Sharon," he said smoothly, flashing the same smile he used on all his female students when he needed their attention. "You doing anything this weekend?"
Shego forced a smile. She hated that alias - "Sharon Go." What had she been on when she put that name on the application?
Probably the same thing she'd been on when she actually finished her degree in child development and got her teaching credentials. Sure, nobody would suspect one of the best criminals in the world to be a credentialed teacher...but ugh. Not exactly the most enjoyable job ever created.
"Yeah," Shego replied in as sickly sweet a voice she could. "I'm going to go out to dinner with my amazing boyfriend, who just so happens to be really rich, really smart, and really good in bed. And he's going to propose tonight!"
The other teacher's smile faltered. "You know, you could just say 'no'."
"Oh, but this way's wa-a-a-a-aaaay more fun," Shego said, walking away. "Later."
She almost wanted to say yes, just to remember what it was like to go on a date with a normal guy, but then she realized she'd probably have to eventually have sex with one of her coworkers.
And after hearing some of her students whisper about how hot that particular teacher was, she really didn't want to do that. Hearing your students whisper things about someone in your dating pool really killed their sex appeal, even if they did have ten times the body and social skills as the last person you did anything vaguely romantic with.
Shego had to shudder at that. Looking back on it, months later, trying out a relationship with Doctor Drakken had been anything but a good thing.
And she knew just who to blame for it.
Little Miss Priss.
Cupcake.
Princess.
Kimmie.
Kim Possible.
Shego didn't really understand why things turned into what they had - although she knew where it started.
The power tower - the night of little Kimmie's junior prom.
Yeah, so on the outside, it was just another one of Drakken's stupid plots to take over the world, this time with cute little toys from Bueno Nacho.
If there was one thing she'd give Drakken, it would've been his sense of creativity - not any sort of intelligence. After all, it took him years to figure out that if he took out the countdown out of his launching sequences, he wouldn't give Kim (or her sidekick, on a bad day) enough time to stop the machine before it even left the ground.
But back to the Bueno Nacho thing.
Shego sighed. Her little Kimmie was so creepy that night. First she slammed Shego into that power tower - which crumbled on top of her, nearly crushing her to death on top of electrocuting her - and then she had to go and smile.
Then, to top it all off, she started going out with her sidekick while Shego (and the rest of Doctor Drakken's crew) had to rot in prison for the summer.
Shego didn't think the power tower really changed her - not really. But that night made things...different, after that.
For one thing, Kimmie and her little sidekick were always so lovey-dovey during their encounters. It got pretty annoying after awhile.
And then there was the whole Miss Go thing. Shego shuddered whenever she thought about it. Not her proudest week...
Like that Barkin guy.
What was she thinking?
"Not gonna think about that," Shego told herself, then realized she was back in front of the wedding shop, staring at the white dress in the window. "Not gonna think about you, either."
Which, in and of itself, proved another reason why the wedding shop was pure evil: it made her talk to inanimate objects. Repeatedly.
Once she got back up to her apartment, she flung off her shoes and collapsed on her couch, faced with yet another Friday night with nothing to do.
She growled and stood up, pacing around her apartment and trying to figure it out.
Of course it was Kimmie's fault - everything was Kimmie's fault. Shego taught Advanced Placement English Literature, after all. She knew all her literary terms (and tested the crap out of her students on them), and she knew that if they were a book, she'd be the foil for Kimmie.
Or, depending on the point of view, Kimmie would be the foil for her. The character with so many similar traits, but just enough difference to provide perspective.
Shego growled, igniting her hands and throwing a fistful of green fire at a scarred dartboard on her wall. She'd been doing that a lot, lately...but it was all so frustrating.
After a year of teaching, she almost wanted to go back to being on Team Go (but that would completely obliterate what little reputation she had left; not to mention the fact that being within ten feet of her brothers made her want to claw her own eyes out).
"I could totally call up someone," she muttered, flopping back down on the couch, picking up a pillow, and throwing it across the room. "Professor Dementor would probably pay much better than Doctor D, even though he's twice as annoying. Or maybe Monkey Fist - he seemed somewhat competent every now and then...if he ever shows up again." She paused. "Ugh, but then I'd have to deal with monkey fur on my clothes..."
Actually, Drakken had been a pretty good employer. Not only did he pay well and on time, but he gave her both vacation time (generally uninterrupted, too) and plenty of easy targets for her sarcasm. And she did love sarcasm.
But then things got weird...
"Kimmie's fault," she said to her ceiling. "Aaaaaall Kimmie's fault."
Except, technically, that was the fault of those nine-foot-tall aliens that decided to abduct Drakken and - wow, what a coincidence - Kim Possible.
So yes, it really was Kimmie's fault.
Then her very own Doctor D saved the world. They were celebrated in front of the United Nations, they were pardoned from all their crimes, they were given a brand new start...
And, for some strange reason, Drakken wanted that brand new start.
"I don't know, Shego," he'd said a few weeks after little Kimmie's high school graduation. "I didn't ever think it would happen, but my plan to save the world worked. On the first try! And nobody tried to stop me!"
Then he decided to...do that.
Save the world.
Doctor Drakken. Saving the world.
Apparently, he was tired of a teenager foiling his plans. If he tried to gain power by saving the world, he'd be practically guaranteed that Kim Possible wouldn't stand in his way. In fact, she helped, on occasion.
Shego blamed that flower on his head. She knew plants that grew out of people were no good. (Those plants made her very own Doctor Drakken stop trying to brainwash people and start trying to save the goddamn rainforests.)
Plus, having a sentient plant growing out of his body sure made sex awkward between them...
"Ugh, don't think about that, don't think about that," she told herself, smacking her forehead. "Get out of head, get out of head..."
But that made her think of something else that happened in the time since the power tower fell on her.
Something else that happened...twice.
Twice.
Twice she saved Kim's life.
Shego growled, slamming her head into another couch cushion. Why did those two moments keep coming back to haunt her? But there they were, running like a movie in her mind:
Doctor Drakken, possessed by an evil pirate captain, about to shoot Kimmie with a glowing blue sword...
That alien woman, What's-Her-Face, about to crush Kimmie with her weird staff-thing...
And both times, she shoved them out of the way, declaring that Kim was hers and hers alone to destroy.
But then...why didn't she? She'd had Kim by the throat (or some equivalent) so many times before...although, now that she thought about it, those instances in which she truly had Kim Possible's life in her hands were few and far between after the power tower fell...
Shego growled. Why was she thinking about this? Again? "Get out of my head, you little bacteria woman!"
If only she hadn't promised Doctor Drakken that she'd "stop being evil". If only she hadn't clung to him out of desperation, since hey, if the little teenagers could find true love, why couldn't she? If only Drakken...
If only he was younger. And less awkward. And more evil.
Because, quite frankly, it really freaked Shego out to think that she'd slept with a guy almost twice her age, especially since Drakken was about to turn fifty, and she was still in her twenties.
June-December romance. Shego shuddered. Why had she thought that was a good idea, again?
Oh, right.
Kimmie.
And her stupid idea that she and Drakken had a "thing".
There was no "thing"! She'd said there was no "thing"!
But then the stupid nine feet tall aliens said she was in denial and wouldn't believe her. Stupid aliens, agreeing with Kimmie. She hated them, too.
"I guess Kimmie's the only one who gets a little happiness around here," Shego grumbled, standing up. No matter what, things only got worse if she sat still, but if she couldn't go out and steal something...then what was the point? "Ugh, I need to beat someone up."
She'd considered vigilante justice in the past, if not just for the street violence aspect of it, but the thought of being like a masked Kim Possible made her stomach churn.
She was Kimmie's foil, not her big sister.
But she couldn't think about that either, because "big sister" made her think of what she overheard Kim tell her little boyfriend back when Shego was under the influence of the Attitudinator:
"She's like a big sister!"
"AAAARGH!" Shego threw another fistful of fire at her dartboard. "AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"
---
Seconds later, Shego found herself stomping down her apartment stairs. She didn't know where she was going, but she needed to get out. Maybe fresh air would help...
It didn't the last twenty times she thought it would, but hey, twenty-first time's a charm.
Or something.
Shego didn't know.
She just wanted to kill something, though she promised Drakken she wouldn't, and for some goddamn reason, she wanted to keep that promise. It was Kimmie's fault. If nothing else, she could always blame everything on -
"Kimmie."
The woman in question turned around, taking her gaze off the wedding shop window (oh, how Shego rued the day she decided to rent an apartment above a wedding shop). As soon as Kim saw Shego, she tensed up, her green eyes narrowing. "Shego," she said curtly. "Haven't seen you in awhile."
"Yeah, well, you know, been so busy stealing, haven't had time to stop by and chat," Shego drawled with a wry smile.
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Um, you haven't been stealing. Wade would have -"
"Has it ever occurred to you, Princess, that I've gotten so good at it that your little nerdlinger can't trace what I steal?"
"That doesn't even make sense," the younger woman replied with a knowing smile. "I'd hear about the missing stuff. Face it, Shego, you're lying. You just don't have it in you anymore."
Shego growled, crossing her arms and looking away. "Like you know. How's college, Kimmie? It's been so long that I've forgotten where you study."
Kim grinned. "Oxford."
Damn, Shego thought. Princess had a brain. "Aw, bet your little boyfriend's missing you. Or have you found someone better? Or did he?"
The hero bristled. "Ron and I are doing just fine, thanks. How about Drakken?"
"Do. Not. Bring. Up. Doctor. D."
"Sorry, just did."
Shego growled. "You know, I could slam you into that shop window and make you go to the hospital with tons of glass shards sticking out of your skin."
"Or I could throw you into the lamppost behind you and give you a little replay of that thing with the power tower and the Little Diablo army," Kim shot back, pointing at the lamppost that Shego stood in front of. Shego cursed herself inwardly at standing in front of something that Kim could use as a weapon. She thought she had such a good shot with the whole window-behind-Kimmie thing...
"Why are you here?" Shego snapped, dropping the banter. "'Cause if you don't get out of my face in thirty seconds, I'm going to smash yours in."
Kim pointed behind here. "Duh. I'm here for the wedding store."
She didn't know why, but Shego's blood suddenly seemed to curdle. "Say what?"
"I'm here. For. The wedding. Store," Kim said slowly, as if talking to a child.
"Doi, I heard you the first time, cupcake. But why?"
"Why else?" Kim asked quizzically. "I'm getting married."
"WHAT?"
Kim looked at her strangely. "Ron asked me to marry him...and I said yes...so we're getting married."
Shego just stared at her for a minute, lost for words. "But aren't you way too young? You're, like, twelve."
"For your information, I'm twenty-one."
"What about Oxford?"
Kim shrugged. "It's no big. I'll finish, then we'll get married. You know," she smiled. "So not the drama."
Shego growled. She couldn't believe it - the teens were getting married? "You're crazy, Kimmie."
"Whatever. Anyway, are we done with the small talk, or can I go look at wedding dresses in peace?"
"You can't use that store," Shego said, glaring at the bane of her existence (behind what used to hold that title). "It's so...tacky."
"I like it," Kim replied curtly. "And looking at dresses in person is more fun than online. Plus, I once saved the owner's -"
"Yeah, don't wanna hear it," Shego interrupted, holding up her hand. "How about I just walk away, and we pretend we never had this conversation. Mmkay?"
Kim shrugged. "Works for me. Oh - but you should know."
"What?"
"Ron and I are going to invite Drakken - you know, to the wedding? When it happens? And, uh, if you're still not doing the whole stealing thing when it rolls around...you know...I guess you can come, too."
Shego's jaw dropped. "What?"
"You. Come. To my -"
"I heard you the first time!" Shego snapped, wanting more than anything to incinerate Kimmie with her green fire. Dammit, why didn't that stuff actually incinerate anything?
"Think about it, okay?" Kim asked as she went into the store. "You and Drakken did sort of bring Ron and me together as a couple. It would kind of be fitting for you to be there."
Shego waited until the door closed behind Kim before she stomped back to the stairs to her apartment. She didn't need her to know where she lived on top of everything else.
---
"DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" Shego shrieked, throwing fire at the dartboard each time. "GGGGRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!"
Her flames crashed onto the board, ripping it in two. It gave Shego an odd sort of satisfaction to see the board in pieces, but it didn't completely help the overwhelming sense of frustration knotted up inside her.
She sank down onto the couch, pulling at her hair and growling like a hungry, pissed-off carnivore. If there was ever a time she wished she hadn't saved Kimmie those two times or become her friend when Electronique hit her with the Attitudinator or helped her and Ron and Drakken save the world or that she and Drakken had actually worked out...
She threw the only cushion left on the couch at the wall. It didn't help.
Seeing Kim there at the wedding shop - dammit, why did it have to be that wedding shop? - that was just...
"Ugggh, Kimmie, you little..." Shego didn't even know the right word for it. "Bitch...worm...bacteria...thing."
Yeah. Bitch-worm-bacteria-thing. Reeeeeeeeal creative.
Sinking back into the couch, Shego stared up a the white, painted ceiling. A bit of the paint was starting to crack and peel. "I hate this stupid apartment," she muttered. "Stupid apartment. Stupid wedding shop. Stupid...stupid Kimmie."
She sighed again, putting a hand over her eyes, suddenly remembering the power tower incident.
"You know what I really hate?"
"That your boyfriend just melted?"
"Nah...you!"
It caught Shego more off-guard than she thought it would, and then she had bigger things to worry about: namely, Kim Possible's super-powered kick sending her into the power tower...
Then it hit her.
The reason why she'd been so frustrated. The reason why, ever since the power tower, she felt so differently about...everything.
Because it wasn't the power tower. All the power tower did to her was throw her in the hospital for a little bit - so not the drama, as she would say. Shego had been in the hospital before.
No, it wasn't the power tower.
It was everything else that happened along with it.
It was...Kimmie. And Stoppable. Together.
Shego growled again, but the fight seemed to have gone out of her throat. Maybe it was Drakken's fault, too - despite the vacations and the pay and the allowances for frequent spa trips, she really did never have a social life. Maybe that was why it took her so long to realize what else happened the night the power tower fell on top of her.
Jealousy. That was it. Dammit, why didn't she notice it sooner? But that wouldn't have helped, because it only applied when Kim realized the same thing...but for Ron.
"Kimmie, you really are the nastiest little cheerleader hero saving-the-world little brat, you know?" Shego muttered. "Probably straighter than an arrow, too. Wow, this is just wonnnderful."
Because on top of everything, now Shego had to realize that she didn't just want to have destroying Kimmie all to herself. No, no. Now she realized she wanted Kimmie to herself.
If she lived in a perfect world, she would have raced down to the wedding store and told Kim that she loved her (or whatever it was people used - "like", "have feelings for", "adore", "am romantically attracted to" - except that last one sounded too much like Doctor Drakken, King of Awkwardsville). Then Kim would have called off the engagement, thrown herself into Shego's arms, and they would have had a happily ever after.
But no. The world wasn't perfect. In fact, the world was so not perfect that not only was Kim marrying her sidekick, but inviting Shego to the wedding so she could rub it in her face.
Shego groaned.
Life just wasn't worth living.
There was just one thing to do...end it all.
Shego stood up, walked across the room, and picked up her cell phone. One painful dial later: "Hey, Hego. You still need a fifth member?"
---
Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible, and I'm writing this for my own enjoyment, not for profit.
Author's Note: I kind of figured Shego would view rejoining Team Go as a fate worse than death, anyway. Oh, and I also figured out while writing this that Shego's dialogue is really hard to write. I apologize if I butchered this. It was my first time writing anything in the KP world, and I picked probably the most difficult character to write about. (Not that Kim or the Kim/Shego banter was any better.) I just watched the fourth season for the first time and became a Kigo fan, so...I wrote this. There is a story that could potentially come later, but I don't know if I have the time to write it, so it'll just stay like this for awhile. Leave a review and tell me what you thought!