Where was Reid when I needed him?

Sighing, I closed the file in my hands, only to replace it with another one. I always hated paperwork. And I certainly hadn't expected my business trip to D.C. to end up in a sea of paper trails …

"This is just ridiculous", my partner mumbled, just as annoyed as me.

"Tell me about it. Didn't they plan to be paperless by 2020?" I could recall the memo sent in early 2012…

Clyde rubbed his eyes. "That's never going to happen."

I hadn't been to the States for about a year, and my last visit that lasted more than two days had been five years ago, when Penny turned forthy. And this amount of paper would take days to go through. "I'm still leaving the day after tomorrow," I warned him. I would not spend my vacation trapped in here.

"Seriously? You would just leave me here by myself."

I stared at him for a moment and then replied 'Yes' in the driest tone I could muster.

"Darlin', you can't stay mad forever," he tried to remind me.

"Watch me," I challenged him.

"I said I'm sorry." Yes, about twenty times…

"You forgot me at the airport in Prague!" I shot him a death stare. Okay, his daughter had gone into labor, but that wasn't enough to let him off the hook easily.

"I came back, didn't I?" After his grandson was born, which was three days later….three days in hell, I would like to add. I was still trying to figure out why they hadn't allowed me to take a commercial flight back…

"Not helping." I looked through the next file.

My phone started ringing after we spent two hours in the small room they had given us. I couldn't remember the last time I was that glad that someone was calling me. A quick look at the ID told me that it was Garcia; this was going to be fun.

"Hey, Penny, what's up?"

"Em, where are you?" Garcia sounded alarmed.

"Still in the Hoover Building. Why?"

"You need to get here, a.s.a.p.!"

"Penelope, where should I go? What's going on?" I began to worry, she seemed really freaked out.

"Hotch was shot. He's in surgery." My heart dropped…this couldn't be happening. "It doesn't look good. He's at the Naval." I sank into my chair, trying hard to breathe normally.

"I'm on my way," I promised and hung up.

"What happened?" Clyde asked concerned and I filled him in.

"Come on, I'll drive you." He was already at the door, keys in hand. I didn't bother declining it; my only thought was getting there fast.

The one hour drive was nerve-wracking. I wasn't able to sit still, no matter how many times Clyde snapped, telling me I was driving him nuts. So when we finally reached the hospital, I nearly jumped out of the car and ran through the entrance hall.

"Emily!" Someone was calling my name. Turning around, I saw Garcia walking in my direction.
I pulled her into a tight hug. "How is he?"

"We don't know, they aren't telling us anything. He's still in there," she told me, then her gaze fell upon Clyde and she greeted him.

"I'm going back, you'll call if you need anything." I nodded and he walked away.

"Who's here?" I asked while Penny was leading me further inside. She seemed a lot calmer than on the phone, but maybe I was just freaking so much by now, that everyone else appeared to be calm.
"Jack is here, and Liv. They are in the waiting area. The others are taking care of the unsub."
"What happened?" I couldn't make sense of the whole situation.

"I'm still trying to figure that out. They got called on a hostage situation and went in. Liv said Hotch had one unsub covered, and suddenly, they were wrestling and then there was a shot."

"Where was he shot?" Maybe asking was a bad idea, but not knowing was even worse.

"Chest..." The nausea hitting me was overwhelming, luckily I hadn't eaten in hours. Penny slowed down a bit and side-hugged me, boy I had to look bad… My inner turmoil got the best of me, because suddenly I turned angry, "Why the hell was he even there? He's the Section Chief, he's not supposed to leave his office!" Strauss had retired five years ago and Hotch had taken her place, while Morgan became the new Unit Chief of the BAU.

"You know him, he gets restless. Every time we get something in the neighborhood, he comes along." Yeah, that sounded a lot like him. I needed to calm down, being angry with him wasn't helping. It would only make me feel guilty afterwards.

"Were you there?" I couldn't remember if she had said something about it.

"Technically, I'm still on maternity leave. I drove Jack here, because he wasn't in the condition to."

"Right, sorry." I rubbed my face and tried to take a few calming breaths, but it didn't work.

When we entered the room I could see Jack pacing the floor. He had grown a couple of inches again and was now as tall as his father. Jack looked a lot like him at that moment, his face serious and worried. I had seen this expression numerous times on Hotch's face…

"Emily," Jack sighed while I pulled him in a hug.

"How are you doing?" I really didn't know what else to say, everything sounded so meaningless.

"I…I don't know…"

"It's okay, you're not alone." He looked like he was about to cry.

I turned around to look at Olivia Vega, my 'replacement', who was sitting in a chair with her left arm in a sling. "What happened to you?"

"That jerk ran me over, I hit my shoulder pretty badly," the auburn haired agent answered, rather annoyed. We had met a few times over the last ten years. She was a polyglot, like me, but she had an absolute hearing, which gave her quite an arsenal of tricks.

I rubbed Jack's back before I sat down across from Liv, watching as Penny joined me. After a few minutes, Jack stopped pacing and took a seat beside Liv. We sat in complete silence, not really knowing what to say. My mind wandered around until I realized that someone was missing, someone who should be there…but I couldn't bring myself to ask.

And then, just like that, Olivia started singing Ave Maria. I saw the calming effect it had on Jack. He stopped tapping his foot and leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed. I could feel something myself, but it wasn't calming, it was tearing something inside of me apart.

The last time I had heard Ave Maria was in Italy, after my abortion. I had been sitting in the church, crying, with Matthew by my side. Right then, I had sworn I would never do something so stupid again, something that I would regret that much. Boy, had I been wrong.

And then, I felt Garcia's hand around mine. I turned to her and she gave me a watery smile. I squeezed her hand and let her lean her head on my shoulder.

Olivia sung for the next fifteen minutes, repeating the lines over and over again. When she stopped, she reached for Jack's hand and forced him to get up. "Come on, we'll take a walk. You need to stretch and get some fresh air. And then we'll get a Coke; we definitely need sugar."

Jack seemed to be reluctant. "Penny's got her phone. If something happens, she'll call," she assured him. He finally obeyed and they went away.

"Where's Beth?" I asked quietly. She should be here. Where the hell was she, when her fiancé was…

"They broke up."

"What?" I managed to spell out. That caused her sit back straight.

"Yeah, four months ago actually," Garcia confessed rather guiltily. "We didn't wanted you to get your hopes up and all."

"You thought I would rush to the next flight and fall to his feet?" Well, maybe I would have...

"Something like that, hon."

I rubbed my thumb over her hand before finally asking, "Why did they break up?"

"We don't know. Doesn't matter anyway, it's over."

I nodded, she was right. But I couldn't stop my mind from going into overdrive. This was all too much. I hadn't been ready for this. Just a week spending some time with my friends, that was the plan. And now I was sitting in a hospital, waiting on news if Hotch was going to be okay.

"What if I'm too late?" I asked suddenly. My breathing quickened, fear rising inside. "What if he's not going to make it off the table? He will be gone without knowing how I feel…"

I had been trying to deny it, forget it, get over him but it hadn't worked. I had dated in the last decade. One relationship lasted more than three years but I was never that into it. I called myself a fool a dozen of times, because he clearly didn't want me. He was with someone else. But the heart wants what the heart wants.

"He will be fine," Penelope promised me. I looked in her eyes, begging her to give me more reassurance because I couldn't find any myself.

"Everything happens for a reason and I refuse to believe that that was your story. You two are meant to be together, like Marshall and Lily or Carl and Ellie!" Well, she didn't say Romeo and Juliet or Cleopatra and Mark Antony, that counted for something…

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you are here, not across the Atlantic Ocean. You were right here, an hour away from him. That can't be a coincidence, and the universe isn't that cruel."

She pulled me into a hug. 'He's going to be all right, he's going to be all right,' I chanted to myself while crying silently in her shoulder.

"How's Gracie?" I asked after a while, because I hadn't before and I needed to hear some good news. She let go of me and I saw her face light up while she pulled out her phone to show the newest pictures of her three month old daughter. My favorite was where she was lying with Sergio on her parents' bed. I hadn't taken him to London, he was better off with Penelope than me. After all, I seldom was at my apartment.

The baby was beautiful. Tanned skin, blue eyes, and a breathtaking smile… "The genetically perfect offspring of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia," I told her, smiling. She was glowing with motherly pride. Being a mother and wife had been the best thing that happened to her.

"Did you imagine that you would be married to Derek someday?" It always seemed so obvious to me, so obvious that I had never asked before.

"Not in this lifetime. Sometimes, I still wait for this bubble to burst and for me to wake up and find it to be just a dream."

"Your wedding certainly was a dream… but you forced me into that hideous dress," I replied, smiling.

"You locked me into a supply closet with Morgan," she reminded me.

Desperate times, drastic measures. They'd had a dispute six years ago and had refused to talk to each other for weeks. So, during my visit JJ, Liv, and I had locked them in a supply closet…which only made things worse.

They had kissed and made up on their own two weeks later; literally. All's well that ends well…

I started to take deep breaths again, hoping they would help me settle down.

After a good while, Jack and Liv returned with soda. I took the chance and stepped out to go to the ladies' room. Looking into the mirror, I saw my pale face and puffy eyes. Splashing water on my face, I made a deal with myself. I would tell Hotch the truth when he got better. When, not if, because him leaving was not an option anymore. I refused to think like that.

When I returned, Jack had stared pacing again. Maybe that was for the best; him sitting still was not working. Garcia and I sipped our sodas while Liv rummaged through her purse. She took out a rosary, made the Sign of the Cross, and started praying. She kept her tone low, switching between Latin and Spanish. JJ told me Liv's first husband was Spanish. He had passed away about twenty years ago because of cancer. Had she sat by his bed and prayed for him like that?

More time passed and Jack sat down again, this time beside me as to not interrupt Liv. At some point, I joined her in every Ave Maria because that was the only thing I could really muster, without stumbling over my words.

Almost three hours had passed since my arrival when I saw a doctor coming at us. My stomach tied up in a knot.

"Aaron Hotchner?"

"Yes!" Jack jumped up.

"We managed to repair the damage. He'll recover, but it might take a while." I felt like all the weight had fallen of my shoulders. Garcia hugged me. "He's sleeping now and will be for next couple of hours. He needs to rest."

"Can I see him?" Jack asked immediately.

"Only one at the time. Someone will get you when they settle him down." He left us.

Liv and Garcia stepped aside to call the others.

I stood up and rubbed Jack's back, because he still seemed rather tense. "He's going to be all right. Everything's gonna be okay." I wasn't sure who I was trying to comfort at the moment, but it didn't matter that much. Aaron was going to live, and for that, I was grateful.

"Do you think I should chain him to his office desk?" Jack asked me then.

I wasn't sure if it was a joke because he sounded so serious, but I smiled anyway because it felt right. "Sounds like a plan. I'll help you."

So, what do you think? Let me know and leave a review, please.

Special thanks to SSAEmilyHotchner for being my Beta :)

Just in case you're wondering: Carl and Ellie are the elderly couple from 'Up'. One of the best love stories told in 10 minutes without words...