Breaking Up is Hard to Do
"I can't believe you're doing this!"
Jean Gray flinched, involuntarily, as Scott moved violently around their room…soon to be his room alone. She shook her head. "I have to," she said quietly. "I can't live like this any more, Scott. I'm sorry that it turned out this way. Sorry the Phoenix took me over, sorry you thought I was dead, and sorry you couldn't give me any room to breathe once I came back. I know why, too, but…" She sighed. Scott, understandably, had some issues with controlling others, given his many losses in life. But he hadn't tried to get help for them.
"Then stay with me. We'll work through this." His desperate, blind face pleaded with her as he grasped her hand tightly. "You can't just go."
She held his hand a moment and then dropped it. "I have to. You'll be better off without me, and I know I'll be better off without you." His tears fell faster at the words, and she felt some pity for him. "I'll tell you one last time, Scott." She lifted her last box with her mind. "Get some help. You can't make it in life by clinging to others."
He suddenly ran to the door as she approached it. "It's him, isn't it? It's always been him. You've been with him this whole time, haven't you?"
She felt intense pity for him. "No, Scott. In fact, I'll have to apologize to Logan about this whole thing. I think I was setting him up as an excuse for leaving you, when in reality, I just needed to leave you because you were choking me."
He wasn't listening to her; she could see it in his stance and fanatical expression. She sighed. "Get out of the way, Scott. Please."
"You'll never be happy with him, you know," he said jealously.
She sighed as she went down the hall. She mechanically sent the box to her new room, forcing her body to walk away from him steadily, not looking back when he called, "Logan has no concept of commitment, so you'll be alone again in six months! I know it."
She turned a corner and went up some stairs, her back rigid with the effort. Tears started flowing, and she swiped at them irritably. What could she do? Where could she go? Her life since returning had been based around Scott, because that was all he left her time for. She walked and walked, waving off people who were concerned about her without noticing who they were or what they wanted. She walked through the kitchen blindly, out into the grounds, and back into the mansion again. Jean kept walking, trying to make her problems go away.
She finally noticed it wasn't working around three o'clock. My. She'd been walking for hours. Her feet hurt. She was on the third floor, where Dr. McCoy had his office. All her other old friends were in other wings of the mansion. She decided to visit him. Maybe she could help him with his research.
At a later time…*************************************
Wolverine was supervising some routine maintenance on the jet…a few of the kids had gotten out of hand and had been sentenced to work without powers. He didn't mind. They behaved well for him, and then he didn't have to do the work, freeing him to work on some combat maneuvers he'd found useful in the Danger Room lately. It also freed him to keep an ear out for Cyclops. The dust-up between him and Jean had been the hottest gossip since the explosion in the chem. lab three months ago. Five different people had all proudly told him wildly different stories about it. One had even claimed Jean had smacked Scott and told him to go to hell. Unbelievable. That wasn't Jean's style.
Jean hadn't come to him, though. That kinda hurt. He thought he'd been patient and all, kind, waiting for her to get over Mr. Straight and Very Narrow, and even let her alone right after, figuring she'd need a few hours to settle down. Maybe later, he'd get the full story from her. Comfort her. Stuff like that.
Ah. There was Scott, stomping down the hall with a measured tread, like he was trying to disguise his anger. The kids looked up from their work, but one growl redirected their efforts to pretending to tighten the bolts on the left wing. He sighed. There was no hope. They'd do anything but work while Scott was here.
"I want to talk to you," Scott said tightly. Logan looked up at him. "So, talk," he said, testing how far gone he was. If Scott really began ranting with the kids there, it was time to call in reinforcements.
Scott gestured to the kids. Logan shrugged. Good. No padded rooms tonight. "Go get yourselves some ice cream from the kitchen, and stay there till I come get you," he said to the kids. They hesitated, and he glared at them. They left, reluctantly, and he looked up at Scott. Cyclops looked awful. Not his usual "I'd be more comfortable in a suit and tie" tightass way, either. His face was red, he was sweating, his hair was out of place, and his outfit was not clean or pressed. His right hand had an injury that, if Logan were responsible for him, he'd have ordered him to see the doctors for right away. He didn't want to be, but he found that he was quite sorry for Scott.
"What did you do to her? When are you moving in there? Did you even think once about…" Scott ran his injured hand through his hair, messing it up more. He continued incoherently, "How could you?"
Logan shook his head. As often was the case, Scott had messed things up in his mind ahead of time. He got comfortable in his chair and looked directly at the unhappy X-man. "Unfortunately, I haven't done anything to anyone. Far as I know, I'm not moving. How could I what?"
Scott grew angrier as Logan spoke to him, and responded irritably. "I know you seduced her away from me. I'm not going to stand for it." He tapped his visor pointedly. "Let's take this to the Danger Room, wolf boy."
Logan had to fight to keep from laughing. So Scott was calling him out, eh? How useless, old-fashioned…but very Scott. He stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. "Nah. I think we should handle this here and now." Scott looked confused.
"No, we're not gonna fight. You're going to listen, and then you're going to go away without the fight you're spoiling for." Scott made a move toward him, and Logan put up a hand to stop him. "You're pissed because Jean decided to leave you. So you've decided she couldn't have done it on her own, and somehow it's all my fault, so you can get beat up and forget the pain you're in. That's plain stupid. Jean makes up her own mind, and you know it. You're already in enough pain with that hand. The professor needs you in one piece. And even though I'll probably never like you, I can see you're useful around here. Sometimes. So I'm not going to smack your head off, though you probably deserve it. Go away. Get your hand treated, then get your head examined. And that's not an insult, for once."
He watched Scott as he spoke, and saw the words sink in, though the man fought them. He shook his head, his lip trembled a bit, and then he replied. "Why?"
Another first. He actually understood what Scott meant. "Because right now, you're punishing yourself worse than I ever could. Now, go away." He tried to keep the pity off his face.
Scott opened his mouth, then closed it slowly. He turned to go, and then replied without moving, "I must need medical attention. For once, you're making sense." Logan was surprised into a brief laugh, and then Scott was gone.
Hrrm. He'd better see to it that Jean was okay, too, but not right away tonight. Maybe he could ask someone to look in on her…Kitty would be good. He'd probably have to get someone to keep an eye on Scott as well. Damn it. The kids would get a night off, and he'd be stuck with them again tomorrow. He wouldn't mind, normally, but with Jean leaving Scott, maybe he finally had a chance with her.
Why hadn't she come to him?
And even later…************************
Jean found Logan in the jet bay, putting away some tools. He nodded to her formally and turned his attention back to the tool box, even though he was done with it. She touched his shoulder. He looked up and pulled away from her hand. "What do you want from me, Jean?" he said coldly, putting the tool box down.
She sat on the floor next to him. "I wanted to say I was sorry, Logan. Sorry for a lot of things. These past few months, I haven't been thinking clearly. I withdrew from my good friends, I neglected my duties, and I treated you terribly."
He looked down at her, and his mouth quivered. "Is there any good news?" he asked, with a subtle trace of humor she picked up on.
She nodded. "I'm planning on taking up my jobs around here again. I'm on patrol tonight, consulting with the Professor weekly, and doing research with Dr. McCoy." His face became blank at the name, and he looked at his hands. She shook her head. "I thought maybe the rumor mill hadn't gotten around to you yet." Without looking up, he said, "I had Kitty look in on you last night to make sure you were okay."
Her shoulders fell. "Logan, I am sorry. I can't deny I've felt some attraction to you before, but it all changed when Scott became so controlling. I thought of you as my escape, not as…" His eyes were full of pain. She pressed on. "Hank and I have known each other as long as Scott knew me, and things just happened that we were free and wanted each other. I hope we can be…" "Friends?" he interrupted, heavy on the sarcasm.
She sighed and laughed at the same time. "I know. I'd hate the 'friends' speech too, if I were you, but, Logan," she whispered, "I need friends right now."
His hand covered his eyes. He remained quiet. "I don't know," he finally said. "I just…I don't know. I need some time to think about this." He got moving, carefully not looking at her, and stared into space. "I think I'll go for a drive or something."
He walked away, slowly, almost blindly. She told herself sternly that she was not going to cry, so she was perplexed when the first raindrop fell on her folded hands from her nose.