Summary: He wondered where he would be when he stopped wondering why, if he ever stopped wondering. Why did they have to go down like this? They had been so blissfully happy before the storm had hit.

A/n: This story is pretty much angst until the end. One of my good willed reviewers, XxDrEaMcHiLdxX, sent me a private message a long time ago, asking if I was okay. Truth is, I've been dealing with a lot of shit these past few months so, no, I'm not okay. I'm getting better, but I'm not okay.

She suggested I write a story where I could release all of my pent up emotions. This is what came out. It's a two-shot, this chapter's really short, the other one is longer. The happenings of this story do not in anyway relate to anything that's been going on with me. I greatly appreciate XxDrEaMcHiLdxX's concern for me, though. I will be eternally grateful to you. Thank you very much!

Disclaimer: SquareEnix and Disney own the characters. I own nothing…

-|-

Champagne High

-|-

They had told him that it was a bad idea. He was young, he needed to enjoy life more, but he wouldn't listen. It was his own fault, really, for caring so implicitly when he usually never did. He'd always had his reasons not to trust people, not to give them benefit of the doubt and he blamed him.

He had changed who he-Roxas Nakamura was.

Roxas had grown up in foster care. He had lived a normal childhood despite living with 11 other kids in the same house and sharing all but one bathroom down the hall. He got picked on the most, his smaller-than-average frame making him an easy target. Though it was all pretty harmless, he'd learned early on to keep his distance from those looking to instill damage in him. He could smell them a mile away sometimes.

But even he never saw Axel Hokkaido coming.

Their love had been like a whirlwind, powerful, spinning out of control with all these enrapturing emotions that had them flying high, beautiful in its own eccentricity and leaving nothing but destruction in its wake once it wilted.

He'd been consumed by the happiness it brought to him. There weren't many things in his life that filled him the way Axel did. So blind was he that he'd believed what they had was untouchable by harm or pain.

He was a fool.

He wondered where he would be when he stopped wondering why, if he ever stopped wondering. Why did they have to go down like this? They had been so blissfully happy before the storm had hit.

With that last thought in his mind, drying the moistness in his eyes with the back of his hand roughly, the blond lump in the queen-sized bed succumbed to the fake darkness he'd created within his room, made out of dark curtains and anything that might produce light completely shut.

It was a cold November morning. He'd been sleeping all night and pretty much all day the day before but he was dead tired anyway. He wasn't hungry and there wasn't a will in him to live today, just like the past few days.

He was completely unaware that this same ritual had been going on for a month and a half now.

-|-

"How is he?"

A man with fine silver hair and beautiful aquamarine eyes entered the Nakamura residence. It was a small and cozy loft at the heart of downtown New York that gave off a homey feeling as soon as you crossed the threshold. Though few newyorkers in the area would willingly live in such low-budget circumstances, it perfectly fit the artists that resided in it. It was as much as they could afford and near all the places they needed to get to in order to get by. It was comfortable-enough.

The other resident of the loft looked up from the current painting he was working on by the wide window of the "living room," which really was an open, furniture-less space through which pieces of art in progress laid scattered. His eyes, even his hazelnut spikes of hair seem to droop in sadness.

"Not good."

The silver haired man let out a tired breath.

The Nakamura brothers and Riku had been friends for close to two years now. They had met at auditions held in a local bar called "Seventh Heaven." Roxas needed the money to pay for his college expenses and Riku had put together a band to take care of the entertainment of the bar that was missing a lead.

Though Roxas had fit the mold quite perfectly, it had been love at first sight for Riku and Roxas' twin brother, Sora, who had floored Riku the moment the usually stoic and indifferent man had set his eyes on him.

The rest, as they say, was history. Roxas got the part, hands down and Riku, eventually, got the guy. It was a hard fought battle but one he was proud to have won nonetheless. Sora had turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to him.

It was at "Seventh Heaven" that Roxas had met the lengthy teen with red ruby hair spiked down to his shoulders and emerald jewels for eyes that would later capture his heart, break it, mend it, break it again, gather what pieces were left, put it back together, and finally keep it to himself.

A year ago, Tifa, the owner of the bar, had been looking for another band to fill in for Roxas the days the spiky haired boy in his late teens wasn't able to work due to school. Axel's band was not bad at all. Though the heavy metal genre was not what she was looking for, they did have that something about them.

She'd hired them making a few requests herself before letting them play live. One, the leads of each band were to meet on Mondays so they could arrange their schedules for the week and decide who would play when since they'd be sharing the stage and equipment. Two, Roxas was in charge of giving Axel a list of the songs allowed to be performed in Seventh Heaven at their Monday meetings so Axel's band could practice before their live performances were due.

Axel had accepted. With how different his schedule was to Roxas' it was easy to fit each other's bands into the allotted spots Tifa gave them without disagreements. The only thing Axel had asked for was Thursday nights since it was the nights his band performed at the heavy-metal pub around the corner. That wasn't so bad to Roxas who had managed to arrange his classes in a way that he could have Fridays off. It worked perfectly.

Working with each other's schedule meant memorizing each other's schedule pretty much. It wasn't long before Axel began using this to his advantage, popping out of nowhere on the blond when he least expected it with a seasalt slushie (the one thing Roxas couldn't turn down; he was addicted to the salty-dressed-as-sugary treat), a lunch proposal (that Axel liked to play off as a coincidental "I'm here, you're here, hey let's have lunch" sort of event though he always conveniently had lunch for two in hand), or just a plain 'walk-you-to-class' offer (in which Roxas kept futilely trying to out-walk Axel. Axel never got the hint his company was unwelcome, if him jogging up to his side to catch up with him every time was any indication). Something about the blond had intrigued the redhead the moment he'd set eyes on him.

Roxas had found this annoying, of course. He wasn't stupid, he knew he was being courted and he found Axel's attempts at hiding the fact that he was trying to woo him irritating at best. Like always, he remained unfazed.

Those that knew Axel, however, knew that the difference between him and everybody else was boldness and persistence.

Roxas had agreed to help Tifa with bar duty on a night his schoolwork wasn't burdening him too much, also a night when Axel had his shift. The redheaded teen's shift was just coming to an end when he'd pretty much bellowed the words:

"Roxas Nakamura, you sexy beast! Please go on a date with me!" for the whole bar to hear.

More of an apology for the broken nose that Axel sported later that night, Roxas agreed.

Their date turned into dates and they were all out of this world. From surfing, to rock climbing, to water skiing, to mountain biking, to hang gliding, to bungee jumping, they somehow always ended being the most fun that Roxas had ever had.

The blond had to admit, he hadn't known of his adventurous side and if it hadn't been for Axel pulling it out of him, he doubted he would've ever found out. But he enjoyed this type of stuff, maybe because he was with Axel. The redhead's company just felt so strangely comforting to him.

Axel was an attractive guy, Roxas came to acknowledge with time. Not that beauty was what he looked for in order to declare himself attracted to someone, but beauty aside, the redhead had an appeal about him. He always knew how to make him laugh. That, in itself, was an accomplishment.

Not that Roxas was the humorless kind of person (though his friends would strongly differ). There were just very few things he was able to get a laugh out of. Axel seemed to know those 'very few things' without him telling him anything.

When they officially got together, they both knew they had met their match.

Riku peeked over his boyfriend's wild spikes of hair, at the current painting he was applying touches of color to.

"I made waffles," the painter said distractedly, tracing long diagonal lines on the canvas laid on the wood stand before him with his paintbrush.

"Has he eaten anything?" Riku asked and Sora knew who he was asking about.

"He said he wasn't hungry--"

"Sora." The tone was reprimanding. "He hasn't been hungry for the past four weeks and a half." Sora turned away from the painting now.

"I can't force-feed him, Riku."

"Well not force-feed him but…make sure he at least eats something." Sora pressed his lips into a sad and thin line.

Up until six weeks ago, his brother had been happy. Sora hated to see him destroyed like he was now. He still didn't get why Axel had done it. He'd known his brother's boyfriend--or at least he thought he had--enough that he couldn't see him pull a stunt like the one he'd pulled without a reason. A real good one.

Axel was many things, but one thing Sora had known for certain was that he'd been head over heels for Roxas. Who in their right mind would start a Saturday night performance at a crowded, couldn't-fit-another-soul Seventh Heaven, with a song dedicated to the person they loved more than life? When both were guys, some discretion was always advised. Not everyone took well to the idea of homosexual relationships.

Tifa had almost killed him, if it hadn't been for the fact that Axel had somehow managed to make the whole bar fall in love with him and Roxas by singing an off-kilter, acapella version of Bob Crewe's 'Can't Take My Eyes Off of You' at the top of his lungs while kneeling before Roxas on one knee. People had even joined in to sing along! Leave it to the crazy redhead to pull off something like that and get away with it!

Dedicating one song to each other on Saturday nights became popular demand before it became tradition. The place would always fill more than usual, regulars awaited the show and Roxas, though utterly mortified at the beginning, had ended up going with the flow.

That's how things with Axel and Roxas were. Axel was always able to lure Roxas into doing things Roxas wouldn't otherwise do, all in the name of love. Roxas was never convinced in the beginning, but the end results always made him blissfully happy.

That's how the whole "marriage" thing started. It all seemed so heartbreaking now.

"He'll be fine." Riku leaned in, capturing his boyfriend's lips in a soft kiss.

"Is it bad that I don't hate Axel despite of what he did?" Sora asked softly. Riku's expression sobered at this.

"If there's one person completely justified to kill the asshole, it's you Sora. He ran away--"

"I know--"

"Hours before getting married to your brother." Riku finished despite Sora's intended interruption. "All he had to do was show up and sign the partnership papers. He couldn't even do that." Sora bit his lip sadly at this.

"Maybe something happened to him."

"Axel has never been one for commitment." Riku stated solemnly. "We've known it since we met him. Just--can we not talk about it?" Sora nodded sadly.

"Eat before it gets cold." He turned back to his painting.

Riku sighed. He knew Sora still had a soft spot for the auburn-haired dickhead. He didn't. To him, Axel was nothing but a coward who'd caused his friend a world of pain, something Roxas didn't deserve.

Having been friends practically their whole lives, Riku knew how hard it was for Roxas to let people in. He didn't trust easily and the fact that Axel had taken that for granted was infuriating to say the least. He wanted to kick his ass. He wanted to cause as much pain to Axel as he'd caused Roxas.

He knew people deserved second chances, after all, he and Sora had had their instances and they wouldn't be together if they hadn't decided to give each other another chance. But some things were just impossible to forgive sometimes…

-|-

Minutes, hours, days, weeks, they all seemed to blend together into a smoggy blur to Roxas who found himself at the end of Fall semester before he knew it, on a leave of absence from work and pushing through the much dreaded cumulative finals his major demanded. In the end, he managed to just scrap by with a 3.5 GPA exactly.

Albeit numbly, he got through Christmas celebrations and New Years' parties hosted by Tifa at the bar. Thankfully Tifa hadn't asked him to perform. He could feel himself going through the motions, as if he were having an out-of-body experience while still awake, trying to pass off as a living being though, in reality, he was dead to the world.

Sora and Riku had taken notice but decided not to say anything. Pointing out that he looked like he'd had better days would only be stating the obvious and also be just plain cruel.

They knew Roxas was having a tough time getting over Axel and wished they could do something to help him cope. But ever since the incident, Roxas had closed up to everyone, even his brother, whom he usually trusted with his life. There was no getting him talking and after some time, Sora and Riku had desisted from trying.

Spring semester looked less promising to the blond. He had started the academic term hoping to run into Axel and say everything he needed to say, the anger he had pent up enough that he felt nauseous sometimes, but the redhead was gone without a trace, his whereabouts unknown to even those closest to him.

His band was forced to find another lead. They continued playing at the heavy-metal bar though they retired from Seventh Heaven out of respect to Roxas. Even so, they had remained friends.

It was when Roxas got his Spring semester grades back that the fact that he needed to forget about Axel and get back on his feet finally hit home for him.

He had gotten low scores in two of his major courses, product of sleeping so much when he was supposed to be studying. Though he refused to explain his situation to the Dean, so to keep his scholarship, Riku had spoken to the man for him and the man had ended up granting Roxas a chance to make up those two classes during the summer so he could earn his scholarship back.

Though Roxas kept wanting to be mad at Riku--he hated using rough times in his life as an excuse to failing classes, knowing lots of college students had it possibly worse than him and they weren't complaining--in reality, he couldn't be more grateful.

He poured all of his attention to his two classes in the summer, slowly but surely forgetting about the events that had taken place the past eight months, very slowly turning back into his old self.

Of course he knew that the past always had a way of catching up to you. He just never expected it'd be in the form of Axel Hokkaido showing up in town as if he'd never left…

End of Ch.1. Chapter 2 next…