Roses Have Thorns
They seemed normal enough, strolling down the street, just a woman walking her dog. The dog was off-leash, but that's not uncommon in our quiet neighborhood.
I was working in the side-yard, with the tools I could still use. The ones with wooden handles, so my skin never came near iron, even with my leather gloves. One of the unforeseen drawbacks to being fully fae, though I don't grudge it at all. I wonder what other fae gardeners use; I'll have to invest in those.
They slowed as they approached me, she a rather pretty young blonde, the dog a handsome greyhound.
"Your yard is lovely," she said with a smile. "The roses along the fence are quite appealing and the front yard is very bright."
I sprang up like a teenager, and offered my hand politely to the dog. I don't dislike dogs, but living in a house full of Cait Sidhe means they don't always like me. He sniffed my hand just as politely, but his ears stayed in the "wary, anxious" mode.
"Would you like to see my garden? It's mostly herbs, so it's not as colorful as the front." I gathered my hoe, rake, and shears, and pushed open the gate, preceding them into the back yard.
I set the tools aside, and turned toward them. They stood just outside the line of the fence, peering in.
"Please come in," I said.
She smiled again, not pleasantly, and showing her teeth. The dog's ears pricked forward, and they flowed through the gate, dropping their disguises. The Cu Sidhe snarled and leaped for me.
I retreated, bending to grab the discarded hoe. I swung it in front of me, hoping the iron tip would be enough.
"Why?" I shouted. "Who are you?"
They backed up a little. "We are loyal subjects of King Rhys of Silences," said the Daoine Sidhe woman. "Your cat-king and his mangy court stood with that jumped-up changeling who put him to sleep. You should all be thrashed."
"Mom? What's going on?" Paige had been napping in the garden studio, and came out looking disheveled and sleepy. She came wide awake as she took in the fae threatening me and my raised hoe.
She prowled over to me. I had never seen her so cat-like in her human form. My heart hammered. My baby should not be involved, should not die with me at fae hands.
Paige had other ideas. She crouched and sprang at the dog, blending into cat-shape as she flew through the air. She landed squarely on his face, all her claws out, teeth bared.
He sat back on his haunches, batting at the silver tabby now kicking his nose and biting an ear.
The woman advanced. She shimmered; it was hard to see her. She appeared to be reaching for Paige.
I swung my hoe. It connected and she hissed. The shimmer dropped, revealing a bloody wound on her arm.
"You would use cold iron against me?" she cried, "you filthy human scum." She took a step back, and tripped over a rose cane that had, oddly, fallen from the gate arbor behind her. She fell heavily.
Beside me, Paige had turned human again, and proceeded with vigorously kick-boxing the Cu Sidhe. He cowered and backed toward his companion.
I stepped forward, bending to retrieve the rake, always careful to touch only wood. The scent and the feel of iron, even at the end of the long handle, was noticeable. I brandished my tools and moved again.
The Daoine Sidhe scrambled to her feet, somehow cumbered at every step by rose canes drooping from the arbor. The roses did not hinder me at all.
The Cu Sidhe, barely more graceful, kept pace with her, backing out of the gate snarling. I closed the gate in their faces. They took off running down the street, their disguises swelling up belatedly around them.
Paige and I fell into each others arms, both our hearts pounding. She pulled away first, looking up at me.
"We have to tell Dad. Stray supporters of Rhys must not be allowed to threaten the King's family." She pulled out her phone.
...
Joe was livid. He paced around the yard, sniffing and growling where he detected traces of the Cu Sidhe. His feline nature flickered more strongly than I'd ever seen. He phoned Eliza and Maddy to join me, while he stormed off to Queen Siwan.
"We did pretty good, I think," said Paige. "Even though you haven't been fae more than a couple weeks, we managed to kick them out."
"It's mostly due to you and your award-winning martial arts skills, honey," I said. "Your master would be so proud."
"You should start taking lessons, too, Mom. You'll like it; it's fun!" Paige had been after me and her sisters to do just that for a while. Now it seemed ... obvious.
"That is an excellent idea!" said Eliza. "We should all sign up, especially if we may be targets."
...
Joe returned from the Court of Silences still fuming. "She can do nothing! They are not her subjects, and have left her court. She has issued a writ of banishment, though, so I can kill them if they return."
I knew he was right, but hoped they would accept the banishment and leave without dying. "Do you have the writ with you?" I asked.
He handed it to me. "Much good it will do!"
...
The next day was my regular visit with Ceres, whose friendship I found an unalloyed benefit of my transition. I took such pleasure in sitting and talking with her about my work, her roses, fae politics, anything and everything. Though she is daughter to a Firstborn, centuries old, and I am a former human and have little more than half a century, she seemed to see me as her peer. In some ways this is true. I had been a fully mature human, with grown children and life's end closer than its beginning. Fae have millennia for their adolescence; I suspect some never mature.
We were having tea in her rose garden, the warm sun raising their scent around us, while the rose goblins wandered through the bushes and under the table. A fairly small one sat on my lap, purring. It was a handsome specimen, with dark blue-ish green spikes that shaded surprisingly into a deep rose at the tips. I thought it was the same one that had singled me out for its affections on my previous visits.
"From what you tell me, you did very well," she said. "Repelling the attackers with iron was smart. Perhaps you should not eliminate all your iron tools! Also, your roses came to your defense even without direction; they will only do that for love."
The rose goblin in my lap growled, seemingly taking exception to the attackers. I stroked it, carefully.
"Can you teach me how to direct them?"
"It should come quite naturally to you. You have been guiding your plants for years even as a merlin."
It was like unfocusing your eyes, or maybe more like learning a new piano piece, clumsy and frustrating at first, then suddenly smooth and automatic. I practiced on Ceres' plants; she assured me mine would be much easier.
"I will give you some cuttings that grow blade-like thorns," she added, "though their flowers are small and shy. If you plant them around your yard, they will provide a formidable barrier. Now let us talk of more important things than sad bullies!
"In a kingdom full of alchemists, you will have a wide market for your distillates. Indeed, now that Queen Siwan is restoring order, some in her court are beginning to look for ingredients."
We discussed what the alchemists might like, whether I should think of taking an apprentice, starting a little Summerlands plot of my own near Ceres' demesne.
As I prepared to leave, the rose goblin butted its head against me, making little mrrp sounds. They sounded almost like "take me I will help".
Startled, I looked up at Ceres. She returned my gaze calmly.
"For one who is attuned to plants as you are, their speech will become quite intelligible," she said. "I have no objection, my dear," to the rose goblin.
"Do you want to come home with me, little rosy-thorn?" I asked. "My home is very different from the Summerlands, but I would love to have you there."
It purred loudly, stropping my arm enthusiastically, still without pricking the skin.
"You have named it; that makes it doubly yours." Ceres smiled. "You know the rules!"
"I did? I … guess I did. Rosethorn is a good name." The rose goblin agreed emphatically.
...
The next couple weeks were quiet, with Joe and the girls more than ordinarily in evidence. They were almost underfoot. I appreciated their concern; I was, admittedly, still a little nervous.
Things started getting back to normal. I joined Paige's dojo for kick-boxing twice a week; drove out to my small acreage on the city's edge; learned to keep Rosethorn supplied with water, sun, and fertilizer, with rose food for a special treat.
Also, I planted Ceres' thorny cuttings, after a serious discussion with my established rose hedge.
"I planted you for your colors and scent," I said, petting the leaves within reach. "You have done more than I could have asked for. May I plant these soldiers beside you? They are your cousins, but bred for their long sharp thorns and tough canes. Together you can provide a beautiful, sturdy fortress for me and my family."
The roses bobbed and quivered. Then all the canes bristled up, leaving plenty of room for the cuttings.
...
I had asked Ceres about denying entry to individuals previously invited in, and began implementing her suggestions.
"You can ward all of the boundary which they have not breached. If they return, you must expel them by way of the gate through which you invited them," she had told me. "Then, close that, as well."
I ground dried herbs of my signature, garden mint and horehound, plus local sea salt. Raising my magic intensified the scent, almost menthol-strong. I sang as I walked around the house and yard, dribbling a line of salted herb powder.
"Our house is a very very very fine house
With four cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy 'cause of you"*
Only the backyard gate I left un-enclosed.
…
Of course, they did return.
Naturally, they showed up on a day Rosethorn and I had the house and yard to ourselves. Rosethorn detected them before I, by sound, scent, or some special rose goblin sense.
They barged in through the gate without disguises, clearly bent on venting their frustration on a helpless human.
"Your half-breed kits and their rat-catching sire aren't here to protect you." The Daoine Sidhe woman advanced on me, the red and white Cu Sidhe in her wake.
"Ceres was right," I said sadly. "You really are bullies. Cowardly ones, to attack a human."
Ceres' name, and the presence of one of her rose goblins gave them pause, briefly. Rosethorn stood between us, all its thorns bristling forward.
"The favor of the Rose Lady and her minions will avail you naught," she sniffed.
They had dithered too long. Rosethorn charged the dog; I brandished my garden tools as a distraction, while mentally reaching for my roses. The scent of my magic rose around me.
The thorn-bush cuttings were still too small to make a difference, though I felt their frustration. My established roses turned out to be more than up to the task.
Their canes snapped around like whips, the thorns impressively prominent. They wrapped around our foes smartly, pinning them against the fence.
I directed one cane to force its way across the Daoine Sidhe's mouth, preventing her from speaking; another wound around the hound's muzzle. His common dog form was similar enough that changing from Cu to greyhound would gain him nothing, while changing to human would be even worse for his tender skin.
Breathing hard, though I'd hardly exerted myself, I set the hoe and rake down. I darted into the kitchen and returned with the Queen's writ.
"Rosethorn, may I trouble you for one spike?" I asked the goblin.
It did not relax its guard while it scratched a hind foot against its shoulder. One fine thorn-spike came free. I picked it up.
"This is a writ of banishment from Silences, written by Queen Siwan." I held it up for the woman and dog to read.
"Your lives are forfeit as long as you remain in this kingdom. All hands will be raised against you. Be thankful my husband is not here, or your lives would be forfeit right here, right now. He is not as merciful as I."
Using the rose goblin thorn, I pinned the writ to the woman's tunic. She glared at me; her mouth worked against her thorny gag. Blood dripped down her chin.
"As for you, Master Cu, you are a Bad Dog." He whined and looked away.
The rose-canes dragged the pair out through the still-open gate and flung them bleeding into the street. I had not realized they had such strength, or such enthusiasm for the task.
"Go," I said. "Go, and do not return. You are not welcome here."
They picked themselves up, somewhat tardily bringing up their disguises.
"You … you are not human!" she sputtered as they retreated. "What are you?"
"Not an easy mark for you," I retorted. I watched until they were out of sight.
Rosethorn and I returned to the back yard and shut the gate.
"First things first," I said to the goblin.
My dish of mints and salt stood ready on the patio table. I strewed the herbs across the gate, singing, "Our house is a very very very fine house, with four cats in the yard ..."
Then I went back to work, anticipating the return of my four cats to our very fine house.
End
oOo
Title, "Roses Have Thorns", from Shakespeare's Sonnet XXXV
* "Our House", slightly modified and with apologies to Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young