Title: Pretty Lies
Author: Crystal Fog
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville. Try to hold in the shock people.
Rating: M for explicit language and mature themes ahead.
Summary: Chloe Sullivan jumped to the voices in her head from a world of glitz and glamour. Suicide!
Warnings/spoilers: Graphic Violence. Sexual Implications. Self Harm. Oh, Major Character Suicide.
Pairings: Lois/Clark, Mentions of Chloe/Oliver and Chloe/Lex
Short Note: This was hard to write but I was watching the Evanescence videos (they're coming to Australia I am SO PSYCHED!) and decided I wanted to write about what Chloe could be like in the future, in my own angsty fashion of course.
The world of show business was amazing.
All smoke and mirrors the cameras could create anything they deemed worthy, the life of illusive glamour and beauty impossible to create in reality. Such a contrast to the world she had once wanted to join, a life of hard work and long nights full of caffeine and deadlines you scramble to meet. Her life turned glamorous and her core turned rotten, poisoned and tainted by a world that had seemed so perfect and inescapable. Crushing her and suffocating her to the point where she couldn't even see the blond, blue eyed reporter anymore.
'Just jump.'
Funny, of all the times Clark saved her she is wondering now if it was worth it, it feels like she has no soul and nothing left to give the world except false promises of perfection that no one can supply. The wind glides across her exposed skin as she stares out across the skyline of Metropolis. Her feet are bare and she was sure if she had bothered to she would have felt her skin being cold, freezing itself over like her heart was because no body even bothered to call anymore. She was told she was adored by millions yet no one bothered to pick up the phone and call her.
'It's because you're worthless.'
She was staring at her own face upon a billboard in all it's drawn out glory, how could people not see she was disgusting? A repulsive creature that didn't even deserve to be looked upon since she had no soul. She simply walked around existing and lying to people for a living when her one goal had always been to help them see the truth. Why were people worshiping her as a false god and comparing her to Superman as if they were even remotely alike.
'Even your mother didn't love you enough to stay with you.'
She was worthless, dirty and still bleeding from when she smashed the bathroom mirror in a large fit of truth seeking, after having come out of the bath with her makeup smudged and her hair a mess. So here she stood on the edge of reason tittering upon the edge of oblivion and pain staring at herself in a way that she never had before. No, that was a lie, she had been looking at herself like this since she got on her knees for billionaires who could have given her a hand out of the hell hole of an apartment. Lex had been the greatest help, turns out Lana was just a kid that Chloe had always thought she was.
'They hate you, they all hate you.'
Oliver had been the one to break the bond between her and Lois and ultimately Clark. Chloe hung her head as she stepped up upon the rail, her white nightdress fluttered in the breeze and her long blond hair was blown into her face and she smelt the cloudy air of the city from what felt like the stars.
'Why don't you just end it… No one will miss you…'
'Worthless'
'Fake'
'Liar'
'Unloved'
"Shut up!" She screamed into the night as it ripped up her throat and she covered her ears trying to block out the voice, it didn't seem to do any good as the voice echoed inside her head, drilling her utter worthlessness into her so hard and far that she would have to fall into oblivion (sweet oblivion) to make it go away. Her foot began to move on it's own accord as the black vortex beckoned.
"Chloe." That one voice stopped her as she looked up from a black streaked face, into one that she had sworn was perfection and perfect by nature. An icon of a world that could be and one so insanely unlike her own that there, on a dirty rail atop of an world famous motel in a dirty dressing gown she laughed. She laughed and laughed and couldn't stop, he floated looking at her like she was going crazy and for all she knew she was.
'He hates you, he's only here to see you die.'
"Stop it!" He looked shocked as she stared at him with wild, calculating eyes. She suddenly shifted and seemed almost normal, she was an actress through and through but this time Clark wasn't going to fall for it. "Why are you here Clark? Come to watch me die?" She mocked him as he watched her apprehensively.
'He hates you. Just one step and you can make him, them, happy.'
"Of course not Chloe… Come down and we'll talk about it."
"No." That one voice cut through the thick twilight air as she sneered at him, an expression that seemed completely uncharacteristic on her face.
"What?" His voice was startled as she gazed at him levely.
"I said no. Not this time Superman. Clark's the only one who could have saved him, but he didn't come." She looked at him and he saw how torn she was, how broken and bleeding and just plain over it. "You don't understand how you betrayed me…. You're not real and you can't save me."
'Do it.'
This time she didn't ignore it, the wind rushed past her face like the brush that had put on her outside face she presented to the rest of the world and she thought of the letter placed upon her make up counter.
If you're reading this then I am dead.
And I don't regret it.
You get tired of faking a smile after a while. Get tired of looking at your fakness staring back at you day after day, seeing yourself die a little more when no one else does.
Because I never was and never will be, I've betrayed everyone and they've betrayed me. I've lied to them all and I'm too old for this world. I'm lost in the lies and so over everything. I know who I am, who you are…
And I don't love me... Or you anymore.
Chloe Sullivan.
P.S.The girl the world saw? She never was and never will be, I have no more mask and no where to hide.