１

She stumbled, the force of his sudden lurch almost causing her to lose her balance completely. She could barely get her head around the fact that the bastard was actually here, in her apartment, with a gun pointed right at her. The details of what he had done to Alice Parker and the way he had coldly spoken about it in that interview room were brutally prominent in her mind and the true horror of what she was almost certainly facing appalled her. Her heart was literally racing; a sensation of nausea was building and she knew she was close to panicking. She knew without a doubt that she had to fight. The alternative was too devastating. She knew she'd rather die than go through what he had in mind for her.

He pressed his body up close against hers and she shuddered with repulsion at the intimate contact.

"You're going to enjoy this," he muttered, a demented grin on his face that told him he was already getting off on her obvious fear.

"Please, don't do this!" she muttered. She knew she needed him to drop his guard a little and so was more than willing to play the role of the terrified victim he wanted her to be. It wasn't exactly hard to act anyway, since the truth was she had never felt so scared in her life. She'd had a gun held to her head before of course, but it hadn't been anything like this. It had been in haste; a desperate criminal in a final ditch effort to escape capture. Knowing exactly what this animal had planned for her was so much worse. The thought of her colleagues turning up in a few days, wondering where she was and finding her after he had finished with her, brought tears to her eyes.

"Not so tough now, huh?" he snarled, a grin of pure enjoyment splashed across his face. She felt her panic shifting to anger and she knew she needed to act now before it was too late. He had already loosened his hold very slightly, obviously assuming she had resigned herself to her fate and wouldn't fight back. She supposed he was used to being the one in control when he had a gun pointed at someone's head. Summoning up all her strength, she suddenly jerked, simultaneously lashing out and knocking his arm with such force that the weapon flew from his grip effortlessly as he stumbled, trying to maintain his balance. "Amateur," she thought smugly, as she twisted herself around to lay a second blow on him. Predictably, he had immediately made for the gun rather than worrying about her next move and expecting this she had been able to hit him exactly where she wanted and hard. He fell to the ground, momentarily stunned by the pain and shock of her deliberately placed blow to his crotch. Knowing how vital it was she made full use of this opportunity, she once again lashed out, this time with a hard blow to his head. Visibly dazed now, he lay on the floor, a slight moan emanating from his lips. Knowing he was incapacitated for at least the few vital seconds she needed, she now crossed the room and took the gun in her hand, immediately pointing it directly at him.

His eyes widened in surprise as he realized the tables had completely turned. He clearly hadn't been expecting her to fight back. He withdrew his hand feeling the blood from the side of his head between his fingers curiously and then he grinned at her in an almost amused fashion.

"You really are a bad ass!" he said approvingly, barely raising an eyebrow when he heard the click of her gun.

"You are under arrest…"

"Oh come now, detective. We were just getting started."

"You have the right to remain silent…" she continued, ignoring his attempts to rattle her.

"It's such a shame. We could have had so much fun."

"Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law…"

"This isn't over, you know." The conviction behind his words sent a shiver through her that she tried her hardest to conceal.

She paused. The adrenaline rush was already starting to abate. She could feel herself shaking. She gripped the gun even tighter, feeling the sweat build and suddenly feared for her continued ability to keep the weapon firmly in her grasp. Her chest felt like it was constricting. She forced herself to take a deep breath. This was hardly the time for a full-blown panic attack. With the gun still trained on him, hoping he wouldn't be able to tell just how close to losing it she really was, she stepped back towards the kitchen counter, where she had thrown down her phone when she had first returned home. She had her cuffs clipped on her belt as usual, but she wasn't about to risk getting close enough to him to risk any kind of retaliation. Instead she would call and wait for help, keeping him at a safe distance. One move from him towards her and she knew without a doubt that she would shoot.

She watched him closely as she dialed the number. His expression never changed. His stony intimidating stare was fixed on her. She desperately prayed that help would arrive soon, for she really wasn't sure how much longer she could do this without losing control. With her finger on the trigger, she couldn't help but consider what it would be like to pull it, to put an end to this evil bastard's existence. She remembered Special Agent Cooper and the way she had executed the Woodsman, an evil monster who had tortured and killed at least twenty-four women. At the time she had been so adamant that the right thing to do would have been to bring the guy to justice through the courts, but as she stared at the man before her, she realized she finally really understood where Agent Cooper had been coming from. William Louis had already managed to evade justice on numerous occasions. There was no guarantee he wouldn't again. It would be so easy to just pull the trigger now and claim self-defense. She'd probably get away with it since he had broken into her apartment and even if she didn't, at least he would never be able to hurt anyone again.

She could hear the approach of the uniforms outside in the hallway and knew it was now or never. As she tensed, her grip tightening on the trigger and her aim focusing, she imagined the bullet penetrating his skull, ending his evil reign of terror permanently. The sudden look of pure alarm on his face told her that he had understood her intent and for the first time since she had encountered the sorry excuse for a human being, she actually detected fear emanating from him. She realized then that she no longer wanted to pull that trigger. She didn't want his death on her conscious, tormenting her for the rest of her life. Why should he get the easy way out anyway? He deserved to rot in prison and she would do everything she could to ensure that happened after this. His gaze lowered shamefully and she smiled triumphantly. She had beaten him and he had acknowledged it.

She watched silently as the attending officers cuffed him and led him out of her apartment. As soon as he disappeared from sight, she felt her legs go weak as the realization of just how close she had come, suddenly hit hard. She sank into the nearest chair. It didn't feel real. Everything had happened so fast, yet that moment when she had been convinced he would do to her all those terrible things he had done to Alice Parker seemed to have lasted a lifetime. The mere thought was horrifying. The nausea overwhelmed her and she got back to her feet and rushed to bathroom to empty her stomach. She gripped the porcelain bowl tightly as she heaved violently, her eyes watering from the intensity.

…

Cragen and the rest of the team turned up promptly. She had managed to pull herself together a little by the time they arrived. She was more than aware that the younger members of the team in particular all looked up to her as some kind of role-model. The last thing she wanted was for them to see her falling apart. She could tell by the way Cragen was looking at her that he wasn't buying it, however. His expression was full of genuine concern, but it just made her feel even more determined that she wouldn't ever let that bastard have the satisfaction of knowing he had impacted her life in any way.

"Liv…." Her Captain began, speaking softly, in that voice he used for the victims, she noted not without some irritation.

"I'm fine Captain," she snapped. "He pulled a gun and I fought the bastard off. It only lasted a few minutes."

Cragen sighed. He knew full well that those few minutes must have felt like an eternity to her. He had been heavily involved with the Alice Parker case, even blamed himself for not having realized something was terribly wrong when he had gone round to check on her. They had all seen the bruises and knew every detail of what that poor woman had endured during all those hours she had been tortured by 'the beast' as she had referred to him. He had watched through the glass as Olivia had sat there in the interrogation room, forcing herself to swallow her own disgust as she encouraged Lewis to recount the gory details of exactly what he had done to his victim and heard him brag about much he had enjoyed it. His ass was any of it hypothetical! That man was evil in its purest form.

"Brian will be here soon," he told her. He was glad she had someone she could at least share this with. She hadn't been the same since Stabler had left. He had to admit that he had been somewhat surprised when he had found out she had hooked up with Brian, but once he had got over the initial shock, he had decided it was a good thing. Everyone deserved to find love. It certainly wasn't his place to judge her choices in men anyway. He was just glad she had someone to talk to. Brian Cassidy had worked special victims. He understood the job and consequently that went a long way towards understanding her.

"You called him?" she asked, her tone revealing in no uncertain terms that she wasn't exactly enthralled by the idea. The truth was she hated the thought of her captain assuming she needed a babysitter. Nothing had actually happened after all. She wasn't about to let him think she was about to fall apart. Just the thought of being forced into more compulsory departmental counseling made her cringe. Every single case they dealt with was harrowing and more often than not fraught with danger. Was this really all that different?

"I just didn't think you'd want to be alone after everything that happened," he explained, unsure if he wasn't just digging himself into a deeper hole.

"You didn't think I could make the call myself if I wanted someone?" she replied stonily.

"I er…"

"Look. You don't need to worry about me Captain. Nothing happened."

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I`m just worried about you."

"Well don't be."

She knew her tone was harsh, but she didn't care. All she wanted was for everyone to get out of her apartment and leave her alone. She couldn't think straight with so many people around.

"How much longer is this going to take?" she asked impatiently.

"You know the drill," Cragen replied. "I'll tell them to speed it up as much as possible."

"Thank you," she replied.

…

Brian had turned up a short while later, just as the crime scenes unit was finishing up. She allowed him to take her into his arms, pretending that a hug was just what she needed and that everything was and would be fine. He hadn't seemed to notice the fact that she just wanted to be alone right now, so that she could finally cry without having to worry about the people she cared about seeing her fall apart. So she kept it in, reminding herself that her ordeal had really only lasted for a few minutes and that she had escaped not only with her life but also with her dignity. The younger team members had congratulated her on fighting the guy off, the awe and respect apparent in the expressions on their faces. She had to admit she had been pleased at their reaction. Even Brian had patted her on the back and called her a bad-ass. Of course he couldn't have known that it reminded her of how Lewis himself had used those very same words and remembering that made her absolutely sick to her stomach.

Once everyone had finally left she had informed him that she was desperately tired and just needed to sleep. So they had snuggled up in her bed and within five minutes he had started the low snoring that she had come to expect on the nights he stayed over. Then she laid there, her mind racing; going over and over everything that had happened and how things could have ended so differently. After a while, knowing that he was deeply asleep by now, she carefully slipped out from under his arm and left the room. She curled up on the sofa, putting the TV on low, wanting the comfort of the background noise. A short while later the tears finally began to fall.