Chapter One: The news that needed to be shared
Another long and stressful day at the White House is what CJ Cregg had waiting for her. All this stress was taking a toll on her physically and emotionally. CJ walked into the White House quickly greeted by Toby. Senior staff was in five minutes. She walked rather swiftly to her office to drop her stuff off and then grab a quick coffee to shake of the leftover feeling of tiredness. The whole crew was sitting in the oval office waiting on the president. President Bartlett walked in and they stood and greet him. President Bartlett was disturbed at just how tired his Press Secretary looked. He knew things had been tough since Leo had his heart attack, and that it had affected CJ rather hard. But, by the way she looked now it really worried him. He would have to have a talk with her after staff meeting.
(Flashback) One week ago:
CJ had noticed that she had been particularly tired lately, more than usual. She had also acquired a cough over the last month that wouldn't go away. CJ didn't take too much notice to it at first, but after a while it started worrying her. CJ made an appointment with her doctor the next week. She didn't mention any of this to Josh, Toby, or the President because she didn't want to worry them. It was Monday, the day of the appointment, and CJ was really nervous. The doctor walked and greeted CJ with a friendly smile, which helped her relax some. CJ told the doctor of the cough and feeling tired all the time. The doctor told her that she runs some tests and call her when she had the results. CJ left the doctor's office feeling uneasy as to what the results would be. The next day CJ received a call from her doctor. "Hello", said CJ. "Hi, Ms. Cregg we have your results, but the doctor would like for you to come down so he can discuss them with you", the doctor's assistant said. "Ok, I'll be there in 15. Bye" CJ said. CJ was really worried now. CJ was taken back to her doctors' office, where he asked her to take seat. Her doctor told her that the test showed that she had a tumor on her left lung. She was told they would need to run a biopsy to find out if it was cancerous. CJ was shocked, but agreed to what she had to do. She couldn't wrap her brain around that she had a tumor. A few days passed when CJ go the call that would change her life. The doctor told her that the tumor was cancerous and that it was stage three lung cancer. The doctor went into further detail of the treatments she would undergo since the tumor was inoperable. That night CJ cried herself to sleep.
(Present)
President Bartlett stopped CJ after staff meeting was over. If something was wrong with his Press Secretary he needed to know. President Bartlett, "CJ, can we talk?" CJ, "Yes, anything particular you want to talk about." President, "I noticed that you don't look yourself today, well you haven't looked yourself in a couple of days. Is there anything I need to know?" CJ, "Well, I guess I can't keep this to myself much longer." President, "CJ, is this something bad?" CJ, "Yes, it is sir. I went to the doctor a few weeks back because I was more tired than usual and I had had a cough for a while." President, "CJ, what is it?" President Bartlett was really beginning to worry, what could possibly be going on with his amazing Chief of Staff? CJ proceeded to tell him everything. When CJ finished President Bartlett had a gleam of sadness in his eyes, but he knew he had to be strong for CJ during this tough time. President, "Aw, Claudia-Jean." He embraces her in a huge hug. Which CJ thought it felt very comforting. The hard part was yet to come. Abbey heard the news and wanted to know all the treatments that CJ was going to have and said that she would always be there if she needed someone to just talk to. CJ thanked her and went on with her busy day trying to put this in the back of her mind just for a while.
Chapter 2: The hardest part
Today was the day CJ would let her friends know what has been going on with her lately. The President had cleared senior staff meeting of anything so CJ could tell them. CJ was scared and nervous about telling her friends that she has known for years that she is dying of cancer. Everyone was seated in the oval office waiting for the meeting to start as usual, all the events they would be expecting to deal with that day. But, this meeting felt different. The President didn't rush into the dealings of the day. He stood in front of his desk letting silence fill the air. CJ walked in a few minutes late. Josh and Toby looked over at her and they knew something was going on. President Bartlett waved CJ over to stand by him; he wrapped his arm around her comforting her before giving the news. Josh, "Is there something going on that we don't know about?" CJ, "Yes, I have some news to tell all of you." CJ started to tear up and everyone had a questioned look on their face. Toby, "CJ, What is the matter, is everything ok?" Toby was getting concerned. CJ, "Well here it goes; I went to the doctor about a week ago and got some news that isn't so good. I have been really tired here lately and have a cough. The doctor ran some tests and found a tumor on my left lung. The tumor is cancerous. So to sum it up I have stage 3 lung cancer." The look on everyone's face just drooped. By the end of telling everyone this CJ was in tears. Toby got up off the couch and embraced his friend in a hug. CJ slumped at the weight of all this. Everyone came around her offering comfort and support. Leo just sat with his face in his hands. He felt as if he was losing not only a friend, but a woman he considered like a daughter. President Bartlett walked over to Leo. President Bartlett, "Leo are you ok?" Leo, "Jed, we can't lose her, why is this happening to such an amazing woman, I consider her like a daughter." Jed, "I know, she is strong she will fight this and win." Leo, "I hope your right; If she loses this White House will lose a big piece in its puzzle that I don't think can be filled." President Bartlett just sighed realizing how devastating this was to everyone in the White House. CJ was the face of the press, she handle everything that happened in the White House with such poise. If he lost her who would fill in a position that CJ had set such a high bar to? Finally everyone stopped crying and said that they were there if she needed them. They continued with work, but a sense of sadness covered the air in the West Wing. Those in the press room would find out later exactly what was going with the person they to answer all their questions. Tomorrow would be another day; just another day closer to the beginning of CJ's treatment.
Chapter Three: Treatment
Today was the day CJ started chemo and radiation. CJ was so scared she vomited six times that morning. Abbey had offered to go and support CJ through this. CJ considered Abbey a good friend not just the First Lady. CJ appreciated everything she and The President had done for her. CJ sat in the chair and started her chemo. Abbey told her to expect a cold feeling to overcome her body, and to just let the sleepiness take over. CJ shook her head as she felt the drugs run through her body; they were taking a quick toll on her. Abbey watched CJ sleep. This woman had been through everything with her husband when it came to the election. CJ woke to the feeling sickness. Abbey was there to hold her hair back while she vomited in a trash can. Abbey knew this was going to be a long and rough road, but she knew CJ make it through. CJ continued on with this routine. CJ didn't feel like she was getting better; she felt worse. Everyone at work was supporting her and helping when they could. CJ had never felt so much love before. CJ thought if it weren't for these wonderful people I probably would just give up fighting. Josh and Toby became extremely protective of CJ and would let her get overwhelmed with work. Toby and Josh would take turns going with CJ to chemo and radiation. Leo would even occasionally go with CJ when he could. CJ knew that the only way to beat this was treatment and with the love and support of her friends.
Chapter Four: Hair
The chemo and radiation was taking a toll on CJ's body. CJ was taking a shower that morning before going to work. While washing her hair chunks of it started coming out. CJ collapsed and just held the hair in her hands. She knew things were going to get tough. But, why did she have to lose her hair? Ainsley had come up to work on some stuff with Sam Seaborne when she had heard about CJ. Her heart fell to her stomach when she the news. Being Ainsley she wanted to make sure CJ was ok. Ainsley went and asked Toby for CJ address so she could bring her some comfort food. As Ainsley walked up to CJ's door she had to gather her emotions in fear that she may burst into tears. Ainsley continued to knock on the door, but no answer. She started to worry and seen that the door wasn't locked. Ainsley walked in when she heard the shower going. She called out for CJ and finally heard someone crying. It was CJ she was sitting in on the floor with the shower still going. CJ was still holding her hair crying. Ainsley couldn't hold it in any longer she broke. The tears started streaming down her face. Ainsley, "CJ, everything will be ok. I'm here. Shhh, let it all out." CJ said, "Ainsley, my hair why my hair?" Ainsley embraced her in a hug, even if she was soaking wet. Ainsley sat with her until CJ could cry no more. CJ decided to just stay in bed and rest. Ainsley said she would let everyone know she wasn't coming in. Ainsley headed back to the White House. She went straight to Charlie so she could see the President. Charlie was concerned he had never seen Ainsley up on this side of the White House very much. Charlie, "The President will see you now." Ainsley, "Thank you." Ainsley walked in and couldn't believe she was in the oval office, she had to push that aside. Ainsley, "Mr. President, CJ won't be coming into day." The President, "Why, is everything ok, CJ rarely ever misses a day." Oh, he realized, CJ will probably need days off during this tough time. Ainsley, "She is fine except for the fact her hair has started falling out. I stayed with her until she stopped crying and went to bed." The President, "Ok, thank you for relaying this to me, you are very caring person." Ainsley, "You're welcome, and thank you Mr. President." How was he supposed to deal with this, Abbey was out of town dealing with women's rights. The President called for Charlie. Charlie, "Yes, Mr. President." The President, "Charlie, clear my schedule for the rest of the day; I am going to check on CJ." Charlie, "Yes, Mr. President what do want me to tell the others?" The President, "Tell Leo he is in charge for right now and the others should just stay busy and tell them not to worry." President Bartlett left with his huge security detail left the White House for CJ's. The President walked up to her door and started knocking. CJ wondered who could be at her door; she had a guess that it was either Josh or Toby wondering why she wasn't at work. She opened to the door. CJ about collapsed to the floor when she seen it was President Bartlett. She offered him to come in. He gave her hug and observed the wrap that she had around her head. He had told her that Ainsley came and told him about that morning. CJ, "Mr. President" she was cut off by him. The president, "CJ, you can call me Jed while I'm not in the White House." CJ, "Ok, Jed, I was just overwhelmed this morning by the whole situation and I'm glad Ainsley was here to comfort me." Jed was glad that Ainsley was there too. Jed knew what he was about to ask CJ was going to be tough for her to do. Jed, "Claudia-Jean, can you show me what is underneath the wrap?" CJ was hesitant but she unraveled the wrap to reveal the smooth scalp of hers. CJ had finished the rest after she had rested for a while. Jed tried to hide the surprised look on his face. A smile formed on his face. Jed, "CJ, you are still the most beautiful woman in the White House next to Abbey. CJ gave a weak smile before she broke down. This was too much for her to handle. Jed just let her cry it out before she fell asleep again. He knew she was so tired. Abbey would be back the next morning. He would have her come over and watch over CJ. The President left to go back to running the country, but CJ would be on his mind the rest of the day. Josh and Toby nearly tackled the President to find out what was wrong with CJ to where it kept her from coming to work. The President informed them about how she had lost all of her hair. They couldn't believe this was happening to their best friend. She had been there for them now it was their turn to be there for her. CJ soon came to realize that losing her hair was just one hurdle to come over.
Chapter 5: The Letters
The treatment seemed to be working, but to CJ they were failing everyday that went by. Abbey tried to explain to her that all her tests showed improvement. Today, CJ felt really bad to the point she couldn't get out of bed. Her friends had taken turns around the clock to make sure that she was ok. The day went on like normal. CJ sat in her bed thinking of all the good times she had with Toby and Josh and can't forget Sam. Leo and Jed were like father figures to her, she looked up to them. Abbey was not only a close friend but a mother figure as well. She was always so caring and nurturing. This cancer stuff had really opened CJ's eyes to see that these people she worked with everyday were so important to her. CJ decided to write letters to everyone if she were to be defeated by this awful disease.
Dear, President Bartlett
When I first joined the race for President with you I felt so inexperienced. I quickly learned that no matter what you always had our back. I have come to see you as a father figure. This awful disease will probably defeat me sooner or later, but I want you to know that I will always be there in spirit for you and Abbey and the kids. This is so hard for me to do, but I feel I had to because I want you to know how much I care for you as a person, not just as my President. I will forever hold a place for you in my heart. You are the President of the United States, my President; I appreciate you for everything you have done. If I don't stop crying your letter is going to be so wet you're not going to be able to read it. I know this administration will go on without me, and make sure you don't give the new Press Secretary a hard time.
With Love,
Claudia-Jean Cregg
Dear, Abbey Bartlett
I will miss you so much when I am gone. You have been such a friend to me during this first term, and not only that but a motherly figure as well. You are a strong and caring woman that I look up to with the up most admiration. I won't forget you either because you hold a place in my heart as well. At my funeral I would like for you to give my eulogy because I know if anyone else would do they wouldn't be able to finish on their own. I know you will be strong for everyone and that is what I loved most about you. Thank you for everything, sitting through chemo and radiation with me; even holding my hair back so I could vomit. I will never forget how much you did for me so unselfishly and with such love. I hope I have served both The President and you well. I will miss you
With Love,
Claudia-Jean Cregg
Dear, Toby
What can I say you are my best friend. Words were not needed between us; one look and it was like we could read each other's minds. I have so much love for u that it hurts for me to be writing this to you. This has been a short ride but I have enjoyed every moment of it. You're like one of my brothers and you will always be that to me. Even if I am gone I am always with you. Please don't get all depressed over me, just know that I love you and that you will eventually move on. If you ever need someone to talk to just start talking and know that I may not be there physically but I'm listening to everything. Toby words can't describe how much I will miss you. I asked Abbey to give my eulogy so don't throw a fit that I didn't pick you. I did it for you; I know you wouldn't have been able to make it through with writing it let alone reading it out loud. I will always love you.
With Love,
Claudia-Jean Cregg
Dear, Josh
Another one of my closest friends. Like I told Toby in his letter I consider you like one of my brothers and you will always be that to me. I can remember when you gave all of us a scare when you were shot well this is kind of like that. I was especially scared for you. Well, you don't have to be scared for me because I'm not hurting anymore from this horrible disease. I do have two favors to ask of you. Be there for Toby I feel he will be unstable after this and not telling what he will do to try and cope. Another thing please make more of your relationship with Donna. I have waited too long to tell you this. I have watched how you have looked at her and treated her with such kindness. My dying wish for you is to marry that woman and make her happy. She glows when she is around you. Will you do that for me? I will always remember you Josh. I left my goldfish for you since it was your idea in the first place. Be strong for everyone. I love you.
With Love,
Claudia-Jean Cregg
Dear, Leo
Leo you have been there for me since the start. Always there to make a situation better or let me have it when I had done something wrong. I am a stronger person because of you. Along with Jed you have been like a father figure as well. I appreciate your hard work and dedication to this administration; and it has been a privilege to work under you and President Bartlett. My heart aches while I'm writing this because I don't want to leave all of you behind. I know you will find someone to replace me that does just a good of job as I did. I just hope the reporters don't the new guy a hard time. Be strong. I want you to keep my Press Secretary vest that has all the words of wisdom from previous Press Secretaries. If you ever feel too weak and down just grab a piece of paper for the vest; it always brought my confidence up. You have made a huge impact on my life and I want to thank you for that.
With Love,
Claudia-Jean Cregg
Dear, Sam
You, Toby, and Josh are the only people that have kept me sane during this first term. Thank You. Be strong for Toby and Josh. And you and Ainsley are perfect together; I just thought I might throw that in there. You are the kindest and sweetest man I have ever known. My relationship with you as a friend has grown into brotherly relationship, and I am grateful to have known someone like you. I look up to because you show just such a strong but quiet character that is able to accomplish anything flawlessly. I have learned so much from you and the lessons will always be with me. I will miss you so much.
With Love,
Claudia-Jean Cregg
One Final letter to All of You at the White House,
It has been an honor to work in such a place of history. I am also truly grateful to have gotten to know all of you so well. I feel like I need to just tell all of you just how much I appreciated all of you. I don't think I told of all you this as much as I should have. I'm not in pain anymore. I want all of you to live on and be happy. I'm watching over all of you; if you need to talk know that I am always listening even if I'm not here physically. I love all you so much.
With Love to All of You,
CJ Cregg
After finishing all the letters CJ cried some more realizing that she was saying goodbye to her friends the people that had become her second family. This cancer was taking over her body quicker than anyone would have thought. The good test result wouldn't last for long. CJ was getting worse, and she knew it. Everyone knew that every moment they had left with CJ was precious, and they didn't waste a minute.
Chapter Six: Nearing the End
CJ knew her time on this earth was limited. The doctor told her that the cancer had spread and that treatments would no longer work. There was a lot of crying that day in the West Wing. CJ hadn't been to work in months; she had spent most of her time in bed resting. Toby stopped by to check on CJ. CJ persuaded Toby to take her to work with him, but he made her promise that she would use the wheelchair. She agreed and they were out the door in no time. As soon as CJ was rolled in with Toby everyone stopped what they were doing to go and talk to CJ. Everyone could tell that her time was nearing the end, but that didn't stop their optimistic outlook on what was happening. CJ was happy; she knew that this is where she belonged. Toby rolled her into the senior staff meeting. They were all surprised and didn't even want to discuss anything that was happening that day. They knew time was precious and they weren't going to take it for granted. They took time to look back on both the good and the bad memories, to reflect and things on a happy note. CJ told them all how much she loved them and that they would always hold a place in her heart. There was not a dry eye in the oval office that day. This cancer may have defeated CJ Cregg, but she was happy she got to spend her last few days with the people she cared for the most. The next few days CJ didn't leave the bed. CJ awoke from her sleep feeling like her lungs were being crushed by weights. CJ noticed that she was coughing up rather large amounts of blood. She was suffocating and didn't know what to do. Abbey had just walked in the door returning from the store. Abbey heard CJ coughing and ran into the room. Abbey ran and grabbed the phone to call 911. The ambulance drove to the hospital as fast as they could considering the traffic they faced. Abbey had already called everyone and told them to meet her at the hospital; that CJ needed them there. The paramedics rushed CJ into the ER. The doctors feared that CJ had been deprived of oxygen for too long and had coughed up a lot of blood; they didn't think she would make it through the night. They had put CJ into an induced coma. The doctors reported all of this to President Bartlett and the rest of the staff. There was nothing left they could for Ms. Cregg but make her comfortable. "Can we go and see her?" President Bartlett. "Yes, but try and go in two at a time we don't want to overcrowd the room if that would be ok?" the doctor said. President Bartlett and Abbey went in first. CJ looked so peaceful lying there in the hospital bed. Seeing her hooked up to all these machines hurt both Jed and Abbey. CJ was like family to them, they couldn't understand why this was happening. Josh and Toby were next to go in. They talked to CJ about all the good times they had and that it wouldn't be the same without her. Neither could finish because they got so emotional and had to walk out into the waiting room where they were greeting with hugs. Leo and Sam were the last to go in and say what might be their goodbyes to CJ. "CJ, I'm so sorry this is happening after Josh was shot we knew working in the White House was somewhat dangerous, but who knew that cancer would take the most strong and kind person I know?" Leo told CJ. Sam sat back in silence remembering. He didn't have to say anything to CJ because she knew how important Sam and hers' friendship was. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked back out to the waiting room. Leo did the same and walked out. The doctor ran some more tests on CJ and confirmed that her body was too weak and that there was no current brain activity. Abbey nearly fell to the floor before Jed and Leo both caught her. They all wanted to be there when the doctor took her off the machines. About ten minutes later the doctor came back and said that he was ready. They all filed into the room around CJ's bed. As the doctor turned off all the machines, the heart monitor flat lined and that was the final indication that their CJ was gone. President Bartlett said a prayer for CJ and that she may be in no more pain and suffering. There were not enough tissues to stop all the crying that was going on that moment. They all said their goodbyes each one give CJ a gentle hug and kiss on the cheek. This would be the last time they saw her and it hurt them deeply. They wouldn't get to see her smile and enthusiasm as she briefed the press. She would be missed greatly.
Chapter Eight: Opening and Closing
As Josh, Toby, and Sam were looking through CJ's stuff in her house; Josh came across a box. The box had something written on the top. It said "Letters". Josh opened the box to find letters addressed to each person CJ was close to. Josh's heart sank to the floor. He knew that CJ knew that she was going to beat the cancer it had advanced too much. Josh showed Toby and Sam the box and they agreed to bring it to work the next day. President Bartlett was arranging the funeral, which was to be held that Friday afternoon. Josh had asked the President's secretary to clear his schedule for the rest of the day. No one questioned why. Josh, Toby, Sam, Leo, Abbey, and the President all sat in the oval office with their heads hanging down unable to look at each other because then they could see how much each of them had been crying. Josh broke the silence when he told them he had found letters to each of them from CJ. Josh passed the letters out. Each one taking their letter and looking at it long and hard. This were the last words CJ would say to them. President Bartlett read the one that was addressed to all of them out loud. President Bartlett finished it with a few words about CJ. President Bartlett, "Claudia-Jean Cregg was not only an amazing Press Secretary she was also an amazing friend. I know that she will always be with us, and we have to keep living so we don't let her down. Cancer is a terrible disease and it took someone very close to us to soon. I don't know how anyone can fill in the shoes that she left behind?" He started crying and Abbey went to comfort him. They all started opening and reading their letters. CJ was such a strong person, but at that moment everyone's walls had been crumbled by the sweet and uplifting words CJ had written to them. Abbey couldn't believe CJ had chosen her to write and the eulogy at her funeral. They all knew they had to be strong for each other especially Toby who looked like he was going to have another emotional breakdown. The sadness of the death of such an important person filled the room. No one spoke; they wanted to retain whatever had been left of CJ through these letters so that it would stay with them. They would hold these letters close to them until them themselves passed. The President ended the meeting with a prayer for CJ and her precious soul to be in peace with the Lord. Everyone left quietly preparing themselves for the funeral. Abbey had no trouble writing the eulogy and didn't get any arguments from Toby either. There were memorials set outside the White House gates to remember CJ from people around the United States. The reporters that CJ had got to know so well had a memorial as well as a column in each of the newspapers they covered about was loved by all, and even the people who never met her in person felt as if they knew her just from watching her give briefs on TV.
Chapter Nine: The Saddest Day
Friday had come quicker than any of them had expected. They weren't ready to say goodbye and they didn't want to. President Bartlett had closed off all roads leading to the cemetery to prevent any trouble getting CJ to her funeral. As they reached the cemetery the realization of the situation really started to sink in. They all filed out of their cars to walk to surround the whole in the ground that would soon be where they would lay CJ to rest. Abbey and her daughters had picked out the headstone and what it would say. Abbey gave the eulogy which she had a hard time making it through it, but she remembered what CJ had written her in her letter; and she knew CJ was right there beside her giving her strength to finish. The gun line sounded and the bagpipes began to play as they lowered CJ into the ground. They all dropped a rose on her coffin and said goodbye once more. That was a sad day for those who had known Claudia-Jean Cregg, a beautiful young woman taken too soon from this earth.
Chapter Ten: CJ's Memory will live on
Three years later:
Nothing major had changed since CJ's death, except for a few things. Sam had followed through with CJ's advice to tell Ainsley how he felt about her. It went well because they have been married for two years now and are expecting their first child. Josh and Donna have been dating for the past three years and have set a date for their wedding. CJ would be so happy if she were here to see all the good things that were happening. That day had started off like any other day in the White House. Sam, Toby, and Josh were all trying to guess what Ainsley was going to have. Of course President Bartlett and Leo all thought it was going to be a girl. Sam and Ainsley had chosen to not know what the baby's gender was until it was born. Ainsley's do date wasn't for another week, but the doctor told her she could go into labor anytime. Sam was doing paperwork when he received a phone call from Ainsley saying it was time; she was having the baby. Sam drove home as fast as he could; and they were both off to the hospital. Sam made sure to call everyone, and they were all waiting on Sam and Ainsley when they arrived. Everyone was anxious to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. It had been a long 10 hour labor; when they welcomed a baby girl into the world. Sam and Ainsley had already picked out a name whether it was a boy or a girl. They named their baby girl Claudia- Jean. Sam walked out into the waiting area, to tell everyone they could come in and see the baby. President Bartlett walked in to see this beautiful bundle of joy. They could all see that it was a baby girl because it had pink hat on and pink wrapped around its body. Ainsley had the biggest smile on her face. Abbey was the first to ask, "Well what's her name?" Sam and Ainsley faced each other knowing that they were naming their baby girl after someone who was very important to all of them in that room; someone who was strong and beautiful. Just like their baby was going to do because they knew CJ was watching over the two of them and their baby girl. After all this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for her. Sam looked at them all with tears forming in his eyes, "Her name is Claudia-Jean Seaborne". They all smiled and the glistening in their eyes indicated they all wanted to cry, but these would be happy tears. Leo walked over to Sam and embraced him in a hug, and told him that CJ would have been so happy for them. Claudia-Jean was watching over this happy moment, it was good that everything had gone back to normal after such a sad time. They would all be ok, and she knew that. They would all make sure that Sam and Ainsley's baby girl would know who she was named after. CJ's memory would live on and every now and then her friends would break done, but they knew she was in a better place. They would visit her grave and take time to remember. Engraving the words on the Headstone in their minds to catch a glimpse of the CJ they remembered. Sam would take his daughter when she got older to see CJ and tell her all about this amazing woman she was named after, and how dear a friend she was to him. Something good had come out of an event that was so sad.