Author's Note: So, this story is kinda my baby. It's one of those stories that I sat down (with every intention of writing a chapter for Express Yourself) and started typing and suddenly it was two and a half hours later and the sun was rising. I really like it, but I don't know if I am going to continue it. I wrote it like two weeks ago and haven't added to it at all so it's probably just a oneshot. Anyways, please let me know what you think. :)
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee...
"I know you're giving her up, but before you do. I think you should name her Beth. And, if you'll let me, I'd really like to be there when she's born. I'd really like to meet her." Hands in his pockets, Puck could only hold his breath and try to hold in his excitement when Quinn nodded her head.
Contrary to popular belief, Puck wasn't stupid. He knew that he was a screw up. He knew that Quinn was right not to trust him, he was only a kid himself and, as proven by their predicament, was driven by his hormones and less logical parts of his anatomy than his brain.
But he also knew that he had way more drive to change now. He had a reason to grow up, to be a man. To be that man that no one taught him how to be. Well, Mr. Schue was kinda helping now, but that was new and he wasn't always very good at picking up on all his subtleties.
But it was time to grow up. And Puck never set a goal he couldn't achieve.
Regionals blew. Like, really really blew. They were by far the best team there. And, hello, one of their singers had a baby as soon as she left the stage. But Coach Sylvester had to go and ruin it for them.
And Quinn spent an hour screaming how much she hated Puck. Which also really blew, but he thinks he kind of understands it. She was pushing a person out of her body. A person that he helped create. So, he can forgive the extremely harsh things she was spewing in the delivery room.
It was all worth it anyway. Once he saw her, nothing else mattered. His life really started then, when an exhausted Quinn handed the tiny, pink bundle to him. Today, he was a man.
A year ago, if you had told Noah Puckerman that he'd be sobbing like a baby into the front of Rachel Berry's dress, well he would have either punched you or thrown you in a dumpster. Possibly both.
But that's where he was an hour after Bethaney Quinn Puckerman was born.
And it was Rachel's voice murmuring comforting words to him, convincing him not to give up. That he was stronger than this.
It was Rachel's hand ghosting up and down his back while his body shook with sobs and his tears soaked through the thin fabric of her gold dress.
It was Rachel's arms which held him close and it was the feeling of safety that they gave him that convinced Noah he could breathe, that he wasn't actually suffocating from the pain of having his heart ripped out.
"Do you wanna keep her?" Puck had never heard himself so unsure. Neither had Quinn.
Still, she didn't hesitate in her answer, "No."
Then, after a moment, "Do you?"
Puck didn't say anything, didn't trust his voice. But when they looked into each others eyes, his answer was obvious. And so was the panic in hers. She couldn't help but change the subject, asking the one question she was too afraid to ask while she was pregnant, while she had such a strong hold on him.
"Did you love me?"
This time, it's Puck who has no hesitation. "Yes." He looked down at her, "Especially now."
Their moment was interrupted by Shelby and Puck felt panic bubbling up in his chest as Quinn and the Vocal Adrenaline coach started bonding over his daughter.
"No, Quinn. You may not want her, but I'm not giving her up. So you can forget about signing the damn paper." Puck wanted to scream at the blonde, but then he would wake up the baby in his arms. "You don't have to be a part of her life if you don't want to. But I need to be. I need to do this."
"When you have a baby, it isn't about what you need, Puck! You have to think about what's right for her. That's all that matters. What don't you get about that?"
"What's right about taking her away from someone that loves her? What's right about handing her off to someone that doesn't know her? How can you tell me that the right thing to do is take her away from her father?" Puck wanted to pull his hair out, pull her hair out. Anything that would make her understand. He was ready for this. He had this.
Tears were leaking out of Quinn's tired eyes. She could hear Puck's heart breaking at the same time that she felt hers shattering. Before she consciously made a decision, she felt herself nodding.
"Okay," she whispered, "But if the time comes that you can't handle it, you have to do what's right. For her. You can't be selfish," the petite blonde was sobbing then. "She comes first."
Puck rushed toward her, pulling her against his solid chest. The two watched their daughter sleep for then next half an hour, with him murmuring 'thank you's' all the while.
Thirty-nine hours. It had been thirty-nine hours since Puck had gotten any actual sleep. He was crazy happy to have his girl with him, but he was also just crazy at this point. And that's the only explanation he has for dialing the phone at 2:53 AM on a Tuesday morning. Three rings in and he was panicking, but then...
"Hello?"
"I'm so sorry to call so late, B-Rachel. But, umm, can you please, please just...not hang up?" Yes, Puck was begging, but he didn't know what else to do.
"Noah? What's wrong?" Rachel was sitting up in bed now, clicking on the lamp and pulling her hair through an elastic band.
"I don't know what I'm doing, Rach. I-"
"I'll be right over."
Puck breathed a huge sigh of relief as he silently stepped the three feet from his bed to Beth's crib and moved to lay her down, only to hear her start screeching again.
That's the only way to describe her when she's this far along. She's surpassed crying, screaming, shrieking and is into screeching. It's a sound that simultaneously breaks his heart and makes him want to beat his aching head against the wall.
Which he had. Twice already tonight.
He was leaning back against said wall and zoning out when his door opened and in walked the only person who saw through his crazy anymore.
"I owe you so big, babe. You have no idea how bad I feel for even calling..."
"Hush, Noah. I said anytime you needed me, and I meant it. Now, hand her over and we'll let you get some rest." He would never understand how Rachel could smile that big and look that...radiant...when he kept waking her up in the middle of the night. But he did as she told him.
And, as usual, Beth quieted immediately. Noah couldn't help the wry laughter that escaped him. It never failed, every single time Rachel held his daughter, she settled down. And he knew that she would be asleep in a matter of minutes. The thought of sleep had him yawning enormously, but he knew he had other responsibilities and went to prepare for the next day, stopping at the feel of Rachel's tiny hand on his arm.
"Lay down, Noah. I've got it." She smiled sweetly up at him, and he leaned into her for a moment. It was a silent thank you, which she understood, and responded by hugging his waist. After watching him collapse on the bed, Rachel slowly paced the room and gently bounced Beth in her arms as daddy and daughter both fell into a deep sleep.
After giving them ten minutes to make sure they were both really out, the tiny brunette gently laid the baby girl in the crib she had bought especially to fit in Noah's room. (She had a slightly bigger one in her own room for when Noah brought her over when he needed Rachel's help to study.) Then she pulled the blanket over Noah, smiling gently to herself as he started to snore. He only did that when he was overtired and really out.
It made her feel even more guilty that she hadn't been able to help get Beth to sleep the night before but she needed the time to go over her notes for the chemistry test, even if she was still convinced she had failed.
Even after having a bottle at 4:30, Beth woke the two teens at 6:13 AM, but Rachel told Noah to sleep some more. He didn't have to be up until a 7:40 AM on Tuesdays, 7:55 if he was really pushing it.
The girls were down stairs on the coach when he woke up. Rachel was dressed for school and reading the sheet music for the latest Glee assignment with Beth asleep on her chest. He felt his chest tighten as he watched her hand run idly down the baby's tiny back and he let out a deep breath before walking into the living room.
"Sorry for sleeping so late, Rach. I'll pack her stuff up now and then we can get going. Thank you so much for last night. I'm sorry I keep making this your responsibility. I promise that I will get the hang of this soon and-"
"Noah," she giggled, "You're rambling. Again. You know I don't mind." She smiled as she looked into the hazel eyes leaning over the couch to kiss her on the forehead. "And her things are packed already. Diaper bag's on the kitchen table, bottles are in the cooler on the counter. Just grab something to eat; we're going to be late."
The mismatched twosome climbed out of Rachel's car and Puck popped the trunk and pulled out the diaper bag, cooler, and both of their book bags while Rachel took Beth from the car seat. She wrapped a second blanket around the cooing girl and the three of them made their way into the school.
This wasn't the ideal life; the life either of them had planned. But Puck was stubborn, possibly more stubborn than Rachel, because she had not been able to convince him to take the opportunity she got Figgins to offer him-to do independent study for the remainder of the year. But Puck didn't think that he could do it alone. No, Puck knew there was no way he would be able to do it alone. He couldn't do school alone, he couldn't take care of Beth alone. He had his mom at home, but it wasn't the same.
He needed Rachel. She didn't (usually) just take Beth and send him away, she taught him how to be the one to make her stop crying, how to change her diaper, how to bather her without drowning her (his biggest fear once he brought her home,) how to prepare her bottles. Rachel was the one that helped him secure the car seat into his truck for the ride home from the hospital. And then Rachel helped him remove it and secure it into her 'much more baby appropriate' Prius. And she didn't mock him or make him feel ridiculous when he freaked out about his shitty truck and how not baby safe his life was.
But, as much as he needed her, Puck wasn't going to ask Rachel to give up school. He knew that socially it was hell for her, but she excelled there. She was in her element at school, and especially in Glee. It never even crossed his mind that he could ask her to give that up. So he walked into school everyday with his hand on the small of her back and smiling down at his daughter.
Quinn didn't go to her locker before homeroom anymore. She couldn't watch Rachel and Puck walk down the hall with her daughter that early in the morning.
That wasn't a fair way to look at it, though. She knew Rachel wasn't trying to replace her, and she continually refused Puck's attempts at a relationship with Beth at this point. But it was still just too much to handle.
But by the afternoons, she was always ready and able and glad to help in anyway she could without actually holding Beth. She prepared bottles and she set up the folding crib in Mr. Schue's office and she set up the baby monitor's and helped Finn to soundproof the doorway so she could sleep during rehearsal. And on Wednesday's she was the one who organized the rehearsal/babysitting so that Rachel and Puck could go to the library for two solid hours of studying so that he could help her pass chemistry and she could help him pass...well, everything else.
And life was good as Auntie Quinn, or whoever she had designated herself to be in her daughter's life.
