I may or may not have sobbed over the Star Wars Rebels mid-season trailer. (And if you haven't watched it yet, watch it now. It'll not only give you something to scream about, but it'll make more sense in this story.) I've also been listening to the Hamilton soundtrack while I was writing this story. (Highly recommend the soundtrack - especially It's Quiet Uptown and Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story. Beautiful music, diverse cast, and I swear that listening to this soundtrack will be the best and worst decision of your life.)
But anyways, after watching the trailer, I just had a lot of feelings. Enjoy!
Have Pity
She couldn't even see Coruscant if she closed her eyes. The sound of Imperial City would be too deafening for her to even grasp a perfect image of what this planet used to be. (Or what it should have been.) Instead of hearing the sounds of foreign instruments echoing around the skyscrapers, she'd hear the most recent announcements made by Emperor Palpatine. Instead of hearing people laughing in the levels below, she'd hear the distant murmur of officers scrambling to get their itineraries ready. And if Ahsoka opened her eyes, everything just became worse.
Where there once were traffic lanes on top of traffic lanes of speeders were now pods carrying weapons or confidential materials in durasteel containers. Where there were once graceful, sloping skyscrapers were now block-like, grey buildings that abruptly stopped and started at every corner imaginable. Where there were once people of bright lights were now flat-faced citizens wearing greys and black-blues to draw the least amount of attention to themselves.
It was hard to believe that once upon a time, Imperial City had been the big, booming planet of Coruscant. It was even harder to believe that once upon a time, Ahsoka Tano used to see this place as something that would provide shelter from the blows on other worlds. Not that Coruscant had been absolutely safe, either – but it used to be comfortable. It used to be filled with life and good memories that looked like pretty sunsets and shining candy-colored lights.
Ahsoka drew her cloak tighter to herself, and for a painful second, she felt a flash of déjà vu. Hadn't this happened before? She had been on this planet before on the run, too…only back then, she had been hiding from people who she had thought were on her side…
Ahsoka almost laughed. Never mind, she thought bitterly to herself. Things haven't changed at all. Her hands reached down for her cloak again, and once more, she fought down the urge to stop in her tracks completely. It would be so much easier to stop walking, too. And it'd be so much easier to just sit here and wait. Or at least get her bearings.
Ahsoka slowly looked up at the pods rumbling past her. She felt as though she was walking in a high-fever dream. She could have sworn the person driving the pod looked like him. And she could have sworn he winked at her, too.
But Ahsoka blinked again and found that the driver was just another one of those robotic-looking officers. His face was all wrong, and his presence was completely off. Ahsoka wasn't sure why she had ever mistaken the officer for her former master.
She had just seen him, hadn't she?
That wasn't him, Ahsoka thought automatically. She felt her body go cold all over at the sudden recurrence of the thought. She had been telling herself this ever since she got away. That wasn't him, a defiant voice in her head repeated. It couldn't have been him. Anakin would never –
But it had been him, hadn't it?
Even as they fought, Ahsoka could remember each of his techniques. She could feel the familiar way they moved against each other, only it was so much more aggressive. It was no longer just a simple practice duel – it had been so real, and it had torn Ahsoka apart from the inside-out. With each blow and with each parry, Ahsoka could see Anakin's face flashing before her eyes.
They were surrounded by echoes when they fought. Echoes and ghosts and could-have-beens and never-will-bes.
"Ahsoka, why did you leave?" he had asked. "Do you know what I've become?"
You should have come with me, Ahsoka wanted to say. You shouldn't have stayed, either. I should have tried to bring you along.
She got away. Just on time, too. She slipped away from the fight, her heart in her throat and tears glistening down her cheeks. She had run away again – run away like her life depended on it, because in a million different ways, her life really did depend on it. She hadn't stopped running until she was at her ship, even though she knew Anakin – Vader, whatever his name was – wasn't following her anymore.
And she should have gone home. She should have gone somewhere else. She should have tended to her own. Only she found herself going straight for the heart of the storm, where she knew the chaos was all going to come for her.
It was easy for Ahsoka to get past the security. And at that point, she hadn't even cared if someone had alerted Anakin where she was. She needed to think. Needed to think and get away.
Someone roughly pushed past Ahsoka, shouting, "Watch where you're going!"
Hasn't that been what I've always done? Ahsoka thought tiredly to herself, but she sidestepped anyways, letting the shadows take over her. She felt the cool metal of the building brush against her and this time, Ahsoka actually stopped in her tracks.
Here, she wondered to herself. Had she ever been in this section of Coruscant before? What had this building used to be? Had it been a theater where Anakin and she might have potentially gone in on their free days? Had it been a bar where Ahsoka had chased a criminal through? Had it been a garage Anakin sometimes stopped by when they were walking through the city? Or had it been some unexplored section of the planet altogether that Anakin and Ahsoka would have discovered on accident?
Whatever the building had once been, Ahsoka couldn't help but feel a sad tug to the chest. She rested her head on the side of the building, her eyes closed and her body cold.
xXx
"She's in Imperial City," Hera said matter-of-factly, hopping into the pilot's seat. "And we're going to get her."
"I don't understand," Ezra heard Kanan say worriedly. "What's she doing there? And how did she just show up there?"
"She's good at sneaking into places," Hera replied simply, starting up the ship. "And luckily for her, so am I."
"How'd you find out she was there in the first place?" Sabine asked, and though the girl looked unruffled, Ezra knew that the whole crew was thinking and worrying about the same thing. Everyone knew that Ahsoka was powerful – she could look after herself. And yet…Ezra could feel the tension in the atmosphere. Ezra bounced his knee a bit, feeling restless and nervous by the edgy silence suffocating them. He saw Zeb shoot him a look – and Ezra stopped bouncing his knee.
"She's fine, right?" Ezra offered aloud as they dove into hyper-space. "Ahsoka's fine."
There was a small silence.
"Guys," Ezra said, his brow furrowing. There was a little bit of desperation in his voice now. "Hey? This is Ahsoka we're talking about! She'll be back with us, right? And we'll just joke around about this later, right? Right?"
"She's in Imperial City, Ezra," Sabine muttered out of the corner of her mouth. "I don't think this is something we're supposed to joke about." Ezra bit down on his lip and he sat back in his seat. He remained silent for the rest of the trip, and it wasn't until they were at the city did someone say something.
"We'll be in and out," Kanan said, standing up. "You guys have to stay here."
Ezra opened his mouth, ready to protest, but Hera shot him a look that forced him in his seat.
"We don't need any casualties today, Ezra," Hera said wearily.
"But –"
"We'll be back soon, Ezra."
As soon as Hera and Kanan left the ship, almost everyone surged forward in wordless agreement. Ezra and Sabine scrambled to the ramp of the ship, watching from the corners as the two adults walked down to the city. Zeb and Chopper hovered above, and though they were all quiet for once, the silence seemed too loud to Ezra's ears.
Ezra narrowed his eyes at the streets. He could still see Kanan and Hera from where he was. They seemed bright against the dull drab of the city, and though there were lots of people milling around, Ezra was sure to keep track of them.
"Wait a second," Sabine suddenly said, standing up. "I see her."
"Ahsoka?"
"Yeah," Sabine whispered. She pointed a finger – and Ezra followed her gaze to find a familiar figure standing in a cloak. Ezra's heart plunged to his stomach as Kanan and Hera automatically started heading for the Togruta. Ahsoka was saying something – and Hera placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. Kanan's head bowed forward, and for a moment, all three adults stood together, the looks on their faces grim and broken.
"What happened to her?" Ezra asked, stunned. "What do you think –"
"Whatever it was, it must have really shaken Ahsoka up," Sabine observed. "Look at her."
Ezra concentrated harder and this time, he could make out the smallest of tears dribbling down the side of Ahsoka's face. That stopped Ezra short. He couldn't understand why…
xXx
"What's she doing?" Ezra asked Kanan later that day. They were standing in the ship, waiting for Ahsoka to get inside. Ahsoka was looking over the city one last time, her expression unreadable. Ezra still didn't know what exactly had happened – only that Ahsoka had bad news with her. "Kanan? I don't understand."
"It's a good thing you don't," Kanan replied quietly. "It'd be a bad thing if you knew how she felt."
Ezra frowned. "But what did she see…?"
Kanan's words sent a chill up Ezra's spine.
"A ghost."
A/N - I don't even know, man. I was kind of stumbling around after watching that trailer. (My head is still spinning.)
Reviews are always great. Constructive criticism is alright, but flames are not. (Come, let us cry together.)
