Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is owned by Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Enterprises, Ltd. For entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.

Summary: A Scarecrow and Mrs. King Future Fic. Amanda is in a coma following a severe head trauma sustained from an explosion during an intelligence operation that went bad. While she is unconscious, an angel shows her what her life would have been like if she and Lee had not met on that fateful and pivotal day at the train station. Marriage and Agency revealed almost a year before. Sort of "It's a Wonderful Life" ala SMK.

The Life We Choose or the Life that Chooses Us

Chapter 1

Friday Morning, April, 1989, Amanda's House

Amanda awoke and even now, almost a year after she and Lee had brought their marriage and profession to light, she still marveled at the euphoria of being able to wake up next to the man she loved more than life itself. She stretched and tried to work out some of the kinks and tight muscles caused by their rather exuberant lovemaking the night before. They had stopped using contraceptives several months before with the understanding that if it happened, it happened and if it didn't, it just wasn't meant to be. Amanda smiled and laid her hand on her stomach. Maybe this time was the magic bullet, she thought. She wanted so much to give Lee a child of his own that they could love and raise together.

She looked over at her husband, still asleep beside her. He looked so calm and at peace, that Amanda was loath to disturb him. She hesitated only a moment before she touched the tip of her nose to his and ran it up the bridge of his nose to his forehead, where she planted the gentlest of kisses. When he inhaled and opened his eyes to look into hers, she whispered, "Good morning, Big Fella."

Lee reached to touch her face and lay his fingers around the back of her neck. Slowly, like playing a big fish on a line, he drew her in for a kiss and kiss they did. Who needs coffee to wake up in the morning when I have this beautiful woman to wake me up, Lee thought as he watched Amanda arch her neck in response to his kisses.

When they finally came up for air, Amanda playfully jostled his shoulder and said, "C'mon, Big Fella. Time to get up. The security of the nation depends on us today."

Lee ran his fingers through his hair already disheveled from sleep and rasped, "Five more minutes?"

Amanda kissed him quickly and said, "You snooze, you lose. I'm first for the shower." With that, she scrambled out of bed, gathered her clothes for the day and laid them at the foot of the bed.

Lee heard the shower turn on and shook his head. It would never cease to amaze him how energetic and perky she could be in the morning, even if half the night was spent making love to the point of exhaustion and without the added boost of coffee. No matter what he might think, Lee still needed the jumpstart that coffee gave most people in the morning. He sighed and threw back the covers. Maybe he would surprise his wife in the shower and scrub her back. Lee set his bare feet on the floor and padded to the bathroom door.

"I'm coming in," he stage whispered.

In the shower Amanda had just finished rinsing the shampoo from her hair and she smiled as her husband pulled back the curtain and stepped in.

She watched as he picked up the washcloth and soaped it up. Then he gently turned Amanda's back to him and began to wash her back. Lee smiled as he made mesmerizing circles with his fingers and Amanda groaned with pleasure when he gently scratched her back through the washcloth.

Amanda turned around and her hands played for a moment on the muscles of his chest, before she reached up to chuck his chin with a curled forefinger. "Turnabout is fair play," she said softly, as she plucked the washcloth from his hand and began to soap it up again. She too smiled as she listened to Lee groan with pleasure, when she gently scratched his back through the washcloth.

"Oh, Amanda. That feels like heaven," he said. Then he turned and took her in his arms. Amanda squeaked and swatted at him with the washcloth as he nipped at her neck and the underside of her jaw.

Lost in each other for a few moments, they were unaware of time passing until they both yipped when the water pouring over them got colder. She let Lee rinse off his back and reached down to turn it off before they froze off certain important parts of their anatomy.

Lee smiled playfully as he snapped his towel at Amanda while she dried her hair. She waited for him to cast the towel her way once more and grabbed it from his hand in one graceful motion. She had been practicing and Dr. Pain would have been pleased. She snapped it back at him, the towel licking his bare behind with stinging force.

Lee laughed and said, "Ow! That's gonna leave a bruise," as he grabbed her and kissed her. Amanda was the first to come up for air and she happened to glance at the clock.

"Oh, my gosh! We're going to be late... again," Amanda said, a little louder than she had intended. "Billy is going to ship us off to a listening post in Alaska if we're late today."

"Calm down, Amanda," said Lee. "We've got plenty of time. I'm the senior agent in charge, remember. Nothing will happen until I get there anyway."

A little while later, Amanda ran a brush through her hair and watched as Lee unlocked the hidden safe in the bottom of the nightstand. He took out his service issue semiautomatic and Amanda's snub nosed revolver. He inserted a mag into the receiver and cycled a bullet into the chamber of his gun with a distinct snick-snick-click sound. Then he slid the gun into the leather holster under his right arm. He picked up two mags for his gun and put them in custom leather sheaths on his shoulder holster. He handed Amanda a speed loader for her gun and watched as she put it in a leather sheath on her belt. Then she snapped out the cylinder of her gun, spun it and snapped it back in, before she slid the gun into the leather holster on her right hip under her jacket.

Lee knew she still hated guns and didn't even like them in the house, but they were a necessary evil in their profession, especially during an intelligence operation. Though she was a pretty good shot now, she still shied away from shooting at people and was known to use any means at her disposal to avoid it. She had told him more than once that though carrying a gun was part of the job, she didn't have to like it.

Amanda checked her hair one more time in the mirror and turned to Lee, who looked at her appreciatively and with love in his eyes. As Amanda reached to straighten his tie, Lee said, "You're beautiful."

Amanda drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. Then she looked up at Lee and nodded. She was ready to go. Lee took her hand and they went downstairs to greet the day and their family.

Later the Same Morning, Agency Bullpen

Billy called the room to order as Lee and Amanda suited up in blue ops jumpsuits and gathered their gear. "Scarecrow has TEAM 1, front entry. Francine has TEAM 2, rear entry. Ephraim has TEAM 3, monitoring and backup," said Billy, as he pointed at various places on a building schematic spread out on a desk.

"This one has all the indications of going south really fast. So get in, get it done and get out as quickly as possible. Scarecrow, you're in charge. Good luck, Children," said Billy.

"You have your assignments. Let's do this," said Lee, as he slung his gear onto his back and led the way to the waiting vans. Before they boarded their respective vans, Lee and Amanda hung back for a moment. They kissed and whispered, "I love you, Mr. Stetson." "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."

The van that carried TEAM 1 pulled up alongside the building in the warehouse district and Lee was the first to jump from the van, landing with a jarring thump on the hard concrete of the street. As Lee and his team made their way to the front entry, they stopped in their tracks as a loud explosion reverberated through the area.

The radio crackled with damage reports as Lee tapped his com and made his way at a fast trot to where the explosion had occurred. "Amanda, what happened? Are you there? Amanda?" No answer.

The backup team and all other able bodied operatives were attending to the injured and assessing the damage. The code for a NEST team and ambulances had already been issued. Billy had also been notified and was on his way.

Lee's heart almost stopped when he saw her. She was sitting with her legs crumpled under her with her upper body twisted and her left cheek resting against the wall of the alleyway. Her right arm was raised as though in surrender and her left arm was twisted at an odd angle between the wall and her body.

Lee dropped to his knees next to Amanda and touched her neck to find a pulse. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as her carotid thrummed forcefully under his fingers, rapid but strong and steady. He could see the subtle movement of her body in the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

Ephraim was right behind him with a med kit and blankets. Together, they immobilized her neck and carefully laid her on the ground. Lee pillowed her head with a folded towel and covered her with a blanket. Then he stanched the flow of blood from the wound on her forehead and wrapped the wound as best he could. Ephraim pinned her badly damaged left arm to her body while Lee wrapped it with an ACE bandage to keep it still during transport.

There was nothing more to do, but wait for the ambulance and Lee was left alone with Amanda, while Ephraim went to check on Francine, who lay on the ground nearby covered with a blanket. He glanced up when he heard sirens in the distance and saw Billy picking his way down the alleyway toward him.

"Scarecrow? Are you all right?" asked Billy as he approached Lee and noticed blood on the shoulder of Lee's jumpsuit. "You're bleeding. Maybe you should get checked out, too."

"Not mine, Billy," he said sadly and looked down at Amanda. He had to swallow before he could continue. "She was thrown at least 30 feet and slammed almost headfirst into a brick wall. When I found her, she was a crumpled bloody heap. Close as I can tell, she has a pretty serious head injury and her left shoulder is pretty torn up. She's not dead, but damned near. I've been trying to think what I'm going to tell her mother. I promised her when we told her about the Agency that I would keep Amanda safe."

They heard over the radio that the mop up team had put out the fire caused by the explosion and recovered the two operatives that had been killed, Davidson and Walker, good men both of them.

Lee watched as Ephraim gently tapped Francine's face to try to get her to come around. No response. Lee reached to stay his hand, as he tried again to rouse Francine. "No, Ephraim. She may have a severe concussion. Just make her comfortable and let the paramedics take care of her. If she's breathing and her pulse is strong, she's okay for now."

Just then paramedics came down the alleyway with a stretcher. They stopped where Francine lay on the ground and Ephraim pointed toward Amanda. Lee stood out of the way and watched as the paramedics strapped Amanda to a backboard and lifted her to the stretcher. Lee filled in the paramedics on Amanda's injuries and they praised his first response skills. He shrugged this off and mumbled a noncommittal response, as they checked her vitals. Breathing normal with breath sounds on both sides, airway clear. Blood pressure, slightly elevated. Good heart rhythm, pulse rapid due to mild shock, but strong and steady.

They started an IV and began to check her over. Lee visibly cringed when he heard them talking. Pupil response, both pupils fixed and dilated, unresponsive to light, left pupil possibly blown. Indication of severe head trauma with possible skull fracture. Left shoulder dislocation with possible severe joint and ligament damage, no indication of fracture.

Another pair of paramedics was checking over Francine. Her neck had been immobilized and her head was also pillowed on a folded towel. They started an IV. As Lee had said, she had a moderate to severe concussion.

When they loaded Amanda on the ambulance, Lee turned to Billy. "I'm going with Amanda. I hope Dr. Smyth isn't too hacked off about me leaving the scene of an operation without proper debriefing."

"Don't worry, Lee. I can handle Dr. Smyth. Go. Let me know how she's doing," Billy said and gave Lee's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Lee jumped aboard the ambulance and sat down as they got underway. Lee sat out of the way and watched as one paramedic monitored Amanda's vitals. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, as he held Amanda's hand and ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across her knuckles. For a moment he watched out the window as the ambulance wove its ponderous way through the mid morning traffic.

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and whispered in a choked voice, "I love you, Amanda Stetson. Please don't leave me. I can't do this without you. Your boys need you. Your mother needs you. And most of all, I need you. I don't know if I could go on if I lost you. This is important, Amanda and I've never known you to give up on something that was important to you." He kissed her hand and held it to his face. His tears were warm as they trickled over the back of her hand.

The ambulance pulled up to the emergency entrance at Parker General. Lee ran alongside the stretcher holding Amanda's hand until a nurse said, "Sir, you need to let go now. Sir? Let go, Sir. A NEST team is standing by. She'll get the best possible care. I promise."

Reluctantly, Lee kissed Amanda's hand and let go. The doors closed in front of him and his face fell. He stood there for several moments, his forehead resting on the cool stainless steel of the door, reluctant to leave the one place where he could be closest to Amanda. He sighed loudly and turned with a startled jerk, when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. It was Billy.

"I came in with Francine. She still hasn't regained consciousness," Billy said. "How's Amanda?"

"She has a severe head trauma and skull fracture. Her shoulder is dislocated and badly damaged. I can't lose her, Billy. I just can't," said Lee, shaking his head. "She's my wife, but she's so much more. She's my best friend, the best friend I've ever had and she's my partner, not only at work, but in life. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I don't think I could go on if I lost her."

"I know, Lee," said Billy and lightly grasped his upper arm. "Come on. Let's go find somewhere to sit down. You look like a stiff breeze would knock you over."

When they got to the waiting room and sat down on the couch, Lee sighed and started to rise. He said, "I need to call Amanda's mother and tell her what happened. Jonathan might want to know what happened to Francine, too."

Billy grabbed Lee's arm and sat him back down. "Already done. Ephraim called IFF as soon as the ambulances left. He's really on the ball. You know, he might make a pretty good field agent yet." said Billy.

Lee glanced up and saw Dotty at the nurse's station. He took a deep breath before he got up and went to her.

Billy watched as Lee gently gripped her upper arms and speaking softly to her, he told her what had happened to Amanda. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she buried her head in Lee's chest. When she finally took a deep breath and looked up at him, he whispered some comforting words and led her toward the waiting area.

Billy rose from his seat to greet Dotty. "Hello, Mrs. West. How are you?" Billy asked.

Dotty ignored the hand that Billy offered. She raised her hands behind her head and shook her head in utter disbelief. She squeezed her eyes shut before she ground out, "How could you let her go into danger like that? Lee, you should have known better."

When she dropped her hands, Billy touched her on the upper arm and said, "Mrs. West, we had no way of knowing. The best doctors in the country are treating her. She is going to be all right."

Dotty fixed him with a withering gaze that would have struck fear into the heart of a field hardened KGB operative and said frostily, "So you say."

Just then a doctor came in and all eyes turned to him. Lee stepped forward and asked, "How is my wife, Amanda Stetson?"

The doctor said, "I'm Dr. Williams. Well, Mr. Stetson. Your wife is in critical but stable condition. She has no heart or breathing issues at this time. Her shoulder was dislocated and there is significant joint and ligament damage. The major medical issue here is she sustained a severe concussion and skull fracture. Due to a catastrophic head trauma, she is comatose and is expected to remain so for some time. Her CAT scan shows a closed brain injury with building pressure within the cranial cavity. We need to go in immediately and relieve the pressure to prevent further damage."

The doctor handed Lee a clipboard with a consent form on it. Lee signed it with a flourish and handed it back. Then he asked, "How long will the surgery take?"

"Barring complications, about 2 - 3 hours. I will let you know what's going on once she is in recovery," the doctor said. He saluted with the clipboard and left.

Billy looked at Lee and said, "I'd better go check on Francine. Let me know how Amanda is doing."

Lee, sounding kind of distant and distracted, said, "Sure thing, Billy."

Dotty looked at Lee with worried eyes. Lee looked back, a feeling of déjà vu engulfing his senses. This time Amanda wasn't fighting for her life as she had been in California, but the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness were the same.

"It'll be all right, Dotty. She's going to be okay. We just have to be patient." Lee knew he could get Dotty to believe that. Now all he had to do was to get himself to believe it, too. Lee's arm went around her shoulders and they sat down on the couch to wait.

Dotty sighed and shook her head, while Lee leaned back and closed his eyes. Dotty was silent as she sensed that Lee needed to be left to his own thoughts for a bit. After awhile Lee suddenly sat up and asked, "What about the boys?"

Dotty touched his arm and said, "They're still in school. They don't know anything about this yet. When they get out, Joe will pick them up and take them with him for the weekend. I told Joe I would call him as soon as I knew anything."

Lee leaned back again and closed his eyes. Spending half the night making love to his beautiful wife and then enduring the stress of seeing her injured had taken a lot out of him. He dozed off and on for the next two and a half hours. Dotty looked up and saw the doctor coming. She gently jostled Lee's shoulder and spoke softly to him. He was instantly awake. After a shared look, they both stood and looked at the doctor expectantly.

"Mr. Stetson," the doctor began. "She came through the surgery just fine. We were able to relieve the pressure and as far as we can tell, there was no further damage. We were able to get a good look at the skull fracture and it is not as bad as we first thought. She is still comatose and will probably remain so for some time. We have done all we can for her. Now, all we can do is wait and pray."

"Thank you, doctor. Can we see her?" asked Lee.

"Not yet. We need to get her out of recovery and settled in a room. You should be able to see her later this afternoon or this evening," the doctor said. "There's really nothing more you can do here. Go home. Get cleaned up. Have something to eat. Leave your number. We'll call if there is any change in her condition."

Lee looked at Dotty and she nodded. Lee looked down at himself and for the first time in hours he noticed that he still had on his blue ops jumpsuit. He touched the shoulder, still stained with Amanda's blood and the rest covered in brick dust and fine debris from the explosion. Though he was reluctant to leave Amanda, he needed food, rest, a shower and clean clothes. Besides, Amanda would never forgive herself if Lee pounded himself into the ground on her account, no matter how dire the circumstances.

So they went home and fortified themselves with bowls of Amanda's world class homemade chicken soup, while trying without success to keep their worry at bay. Lee showered and shaved and changed his clothes. As he stood before the mirror in the bathroom brushing his teeth, he thought that now that he felt human again, he would be able to handle whatever came down the pike. Late in the afternoon Dotty called the hospital and they were told that it was all right to visit Amanda. When Dotty asked about Amanda's condition, she was told there was no change.

Before they went back to the hospital, Dotty called Joe and filled him in on the extent of Amanda's injuries, the outcome of her surgery and her current condition. Joe thanked her and asked her to call if she heard anything more.

Later Lee stood with trepidation in the doorway of Amanda's hospital room. Only the strip light over Amanda's bed was on, so the light in the room was very dim. The heart monitor beat out its incessant and life affirming tattoo and the EEG drew mesmerizing lines on its monitor screen. She lay so still and pale, her left arm immobilized and her head bandaged. She had an oxygen tube that ran under her nose and over her ears, presumably to get more oxygen to her brain. Her head had been shaved and a large patch of her beautiful brown tresses was gone. Lee thought, Even if she was completely bald, she would still be beautiful to me.

Lee sat in the chair next to the bed and held her right hand, careful of the IVs that gave her life sustaining hydration and nutrients. He sat there for a long time, holding her hand to his lips while his tears fell like rain. "I was the senior agent. I could have told you to stay there or put you with the backup team. I knew you didn't like not being in the thick of things. Your mother asked me why I would let you go into danger like that. I had no answer for her." Lee laid his head on the bed and continued to cry out his anguish and sorrow.

When Amanda had been comatose for four days, infection set in and her temperature spiked at 104.3°. They wrapped her in a special blanket with ice chambers all over it and Lee sat at her bedside around the clock and wiped her forehead, face and neck with a cool cloth. He desperately hoped that the antibiotics would work and he would not lose her.

Two days later her fever broke and Lee was relieved to see her temperature finally starting to come down. After a few more days the inflammation in her head wound began to subside. Dotty and Lee hugged each other fiercely, secure in the knowledge that their Amanda would stay with them at least a little while longer. Dotty was gratified when Billy slipped knockout drops into Lee's coffee. A major crisis averted, he collapsed on the chair and slept for 18 hours straight. They knew he would be angry when he awakened, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it.