Why is he our king again? A Fate/Stay Night fanfic

The bright beam of light faded from Chaldea's summoning circle, signifying that another Heroic Spirit had been summoned forth to protect humankind.

The figure that stood in the circle was a man dressed in golden armor with gold earrings. His red eyes gazed over the assembled servants in the room with a bored, arrogantly-dismissive gaze.

"I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes!"

Astolfo tilted his head to the side. "King of the who?"

Gilgamesh blinked in surprise. "The Heroes."

"Who are the Heroes?"

"We all are. We are all heroes. And I am your king." The golden man said, finally regaining his cocky attitude.

The pink-haired rider merely shrugged. "Well I didn't vote for you."

Gilgamesh was once again taken aback, unused to people being unaffected by his sheer presence. "You don't vote for kings."

The Paladin of Charlemagne looked at him curiously. "Well how'd you become king then?"

Gilgamesh posed in pompas self-importance. "My legend, The Epic of Gilgamesh, was the first heroic epic ever recorded, predating any other hero's legend by millennia. Also I was so filthy rich that I happened to somehow conveniently own all the weapons your Nobel Phantasms were based off of."

He then turned to glare at Astolfo. "That is why I'm your king!"

At this point the Caster Merlin spoke up with a teasing smile. "Listen. Being the oldest individual out of a group of people is no basis for a system of government. Parents leave the oldest child in charge due to an assumption of greater maturity and responsibility, not cause the oldest is always right!"

Gilgamesh felt his eye twitch in annoyance. "Be quiet!"

The offending wizard continued. "Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just cause you're the oldest geezer in the room."

Gilgamesh's glare intensified. "Shut up!"

But Merlin continued to ignore him. "I mean if I went around, and walked up the White House, saying I was more qualified to be president just because I was older than him, they'd put me away!"

Gilgamesh opened several portals and started shooting weapons at the offending mage. "Shut up! Will you shut up!"

Merlin took off running down the hallway, laughing as he did so. "Oh! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!"

"SHUT UP!" the gold king screamed as he gave chase, firing even more weapons at wizard.

Merlin sprinted past the cafeteria, causing several confused faces to look his way. "Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help help! I'm being repressed!"

The laughing figure was soon followed by a very angry-looking man in gold armor, sporting a look of rage that could only be found among the berserker class. "Bloody Mongrel!"

Just something I came up with when I though about Gil's tital. Seriously, that's the extent of his clame as 'King of Heroes'?!