Title: Procrastination is Her Motto

Rating: G
Genre: Humor/Parody
Characters/Pairing(s): Spock/Uhura
Word Count: ~657

Warnings: There's some OOC here…not gonna lie. But then it's a parody, it's to be expected ;)

Summary: Inspired by a LJ discussion (details in author's notes), Uhura procrastinates on an assignment and Spock attempts to reason with her…with mixed results.

Author's Notes:

Okay, so, there was a discussion going on over at LiveJournal where we spent some time discussing how anti-Uhura/anti-Spock/Uhura people think that all Spock/Uhura fic is baby!fic (um…no, not true) that we all write Spock as an emotionally repressed human (which, to be honest, he kind of was emotionally repressed in both the reboot and the TOS series…at least the episodes I've seen)….

...BUT the big thing that grated on my nerves was the 'fact' that Uhura was written as a 'self-insert' and that's it.

Well, to be honest, as she was not featured heavily in the series and we didn't see her as much in the new movie as I would have liked and as a result, there is going to be a lot of conjecture about her…until we get more (hopefully the sequel). But Uhura as a self-insert? Really? Every single fanfic author is disguising themselves as Uhura? Every. Single. One??? Really? And these people who say this know the personality of every single Spock/Uhura fanfic author out there, huh?

So...several people decided to show some…examples of what Uhura would be like if she truly was only a self-insert….I decided to jump in and join the fun :D Plus I figured it would be a good way to try and jump start my muse…It remains to be seen if I was successful in that.

If I the Uhura I write were based on me…well, let's just say her motto would be "Why do today what you can do tomorrow…or the next day….or the next…"

And here is how she would pass the time during her procrastination

Please ignore lame-ass title.

This is meant to be a semi-crack!fic, parody thing. :)


Cadet Nyota Uhura was bent over the computer console in the corner of the living area, her eyes glued to the screen as her fingers hovered over the keyboard, pushing the keys in a rather precise method that made little sense to Commander Spock, who was watching her from the doorway, curious what had captured her attention so much that little else in the room mattered at the moment.

Finally, after several minutes of observation, Spock broke the silence or rather, his silence. She was quietly muttering to herself - phrases that were of little consequence to him - constantly complaining about something called "DPS" and "aggro." He was sure the terms were something she was familiar with, but they made little sense to him. Sensing no better time, he decided to pose a question.

"Nyota, have you completed the report that was assigned in your Advanced Romulan Class?"

"Huh?" Her head jerked in his direction. "Oh. Um, no, not yet. It's due in a couple of days. I have time," she replied dismissively before returning her attention to the computer.

"You have yet to begin work on it, am I correct?"

"So? I'll get it done. Don't worry."

"Nyota," Spock said in a warning tone.

Uhura sighed. "Seriously, Spock. Can't this wait a few minutes? I told you I was going to be busy for a while."

"Nyota," Spock said exasperated and taken aback by her behavior. "I really must insist…"

"Spock," she cut in, her eyes glued to the screen. "I bet it would surprise you to know that every report I have ever written for any of my classes, including yours, was done the night before in one draft. And on every single one of them - well, most of them - including yours, I got the highest marks possible." She turned her attention away from the screen for a moment, bringing her eyes to his, glaring at him.

Spock was flabbergasted for a moment before regaining his control. He had never personally witnessed her 'studious' behavior, believing her superior work to be the product of hours of hard work. Never did he entertain the idea that she…procrastinated. "Nyota, please, given the scope of this project I really must insist that you begin earlier than your normal routine."

Uhura rolled her eyes. Suddenly, she whirled back around to the screen, hearing and seeing something that made her mouth gape open, a surprised gasp escaping. "Oh, my God," she said in shock.

"Nyota?" Spock's voice was slightly hesitant.

"I…can't believe it."

Spock stared at her for a second, wondering to what she was referring. A moment later, she whirled around in her chair, jumped to her feet and stormed toward him, anger clear on her face. "You got us wiped! A 1% wipe! We almost had him! The Lich King was going to DIE! We were going to kill him! And you," she emphasized, thrusting her finger at his chest. "Got us all killed!"

"Excuse me?"

"You distracted me! I'm the tank! I keep the bad guys off everyone else. You distracted me! I get distracted, the DPS pulls the aggro off me and the healer goes down. Without a healer, everyone dies." She groaned, rubbing her hands over her face. "Ugh, they probably think I'm a fail!tank now and will never ever invite me to their raid ever again!"

Spock backed away from her slowly, as though he thought sudden movement would further anger her. "I can see that I have upset you and -"

"Gee, ya think?"

"…and I will now take my leave of you." Spock quickly turned around and walked towards the door, Uhura glaring at his back. At the door, he turned to face her and issued his final words. "Think of the positive, Nyota. There is now plenty of time for you to begin work on your report."

He narrowly ducked the PADD that was thrown at his head.


Disclaimer: Star Trek and associated characters created by Gene Roddenberry, copyright owned by Paramount and what/whoever else has something to do with it. I own nothing at all. …which makes me all kinds of sad, 'cause I really wanna borrow Spock for a while…Also, I don't own World of Warcraft, that's all Blizzard Entertainment.

So…what was true? Well, I do play World of Warcraft and I do occasionally 'tank'. I do procrastinate. :) And yes, I put off writing papers/reports/etc. until the night before… I'd done it in high school and continued to do it in college. Never hurt me grade wise so I never saw a reason to quit. :D Hell, I did it with my Thesis _