Thoughts before starting:

Last time I wrote a longer, coherent English text:
a bit over 2 years ago

Last time I wrote something fictional for recreation:
6 years ago, give or take

Last time I wrote something fictional in English for recreation:
I actually think this shall be the first time.

So here I am. Finally bored enough to write this thing down. I basically just want to get this idea out of my head that's been ghosting around in there for six months by now.
I have no bloody clue what I'm doing, probably won't do it again and would appreciate your opinion on it.

As you probably knew when you clicked on this story, this is gonna be Spencer's POV with a pairing of Carly and Sam.

Even if I'm quite sure disclaimers don't technically hold any legal value, here is one for tradition's sake:
This is a derivative work inspired by iCarly, created by Dan Schneider and produced by Nickelodeon, and no profit will be obtained from it.


"Bing"

Slowly the Abyss opens its jaws and you stare at the darkness at its heart. You can feel it staring back, ready to swallow you whole. And you welcome it. You just want this night to end.

That aren't jaws, that are the elevator doors.
That's no abyss, that's the hallway. It's vertical, among other things.
It's dark, because you're too damn wasted to find a freaking light switch in your own apartment building.
Now fucking MOVE before that goddamn elevator closes again.

You stumble forward through the shrinking gap. You're quite sure the floor is not supposed to be spinning the way it is. You're not used to that much booze pumping through your veins. You throw up into a conveniently near plant pot. Fuck this, you're never drinking again. Slouching towards your apartment door you start rummaging through your pockets for the apartment keys. They are found pleasantly fast and promptly land on the floor. Of course. Cursing whatever deity is willing to listen, you pick them up, unlock the door and step inside.

Home. Finally. Now you can go to bed and put an end to this nightmare of an evening.

Eat something first and drink some water. That might at least ease that hangover you're gonna have in the morning.

The fridge looks emptier than when you left. Right, Sam's over. There had definitely been some left-overs you had planned to eat later, that are gone now. As is, weirdly, the chocolate sauce.
After settling for making a tuna sandwich you sit at the counter and think about how you ended up in this situation.

_
You had had such a beautiful plan:
Go to that club; Find a willing, equally horny chick; End this eternal dry spell.
Step one and two had even worked quite well. Socko, his new girlfriend Thrice and you arrived and you soon managed to chat up some quite hot girl. The two of you didn't have the least in common. When she talked, you just zoned out and nodded and laughed when it seemed appropriate. You knew she was doing the same. It wasn't gonna work long term, but she didn't seem to be looking for that. Good, neither were you. You're not even sure you got her name, but hell, you were convinced you were getting lucky tonight...

You got up to get another round of drinks for the four of you. At the bar you turned around to look at your booth. Thrice was whispering something into Whats-her-name's ear. First she just laughed, then she smirked and winked back at Thrice. Socko noticed you watching but avoided your gaze. You wondered what that was about. You should have seen it coming then.

At that moment your drinks were ready. You paid and tried to balance four glasses in your grip. That by far wasn't your first drink that night, so it turned out quite a feat. When you turned back around you only saw the three of them heading for the exit, Thrice having a hand on each Socko's and Whatever's ass. Socko looked back your way and shot you an apologetic look. He held up a hand, three fingers raised, and mouthed a "Sorry, Dude".

So much for getting lucky...
You stood there frozen on the spot, the four drinks still in your grip until some idiot nearly ran into you, causing you spill one of the glasses in your hand. You turned back around towards the bar and downed all three remaining drinks in a row. You swore, through the haze of rapidly onsetting intoxication, next time you'd see Socko, you'd fucking kill that treacherous asshole.
_

Some noise from upstairs snaps you out of your thoughts.. You had nearly dozed off at the counter, your half eaten sandwich still in your hand. The noise sounded suspiciously like a moan and a quite ecstatic one at that. Carls and Sam must be still up watching some movie.

What the hell are they watching, that involves that kind of moan?

You decide to let it slide and not to storm into Carly's room and destroy that DVD threatening your baby sister's innocence.
First of all they still think they were having an unsupervised movie night and just because your night sucks you don't have to wreck theirs. Secondly, you hate to admit it, but your "baby sister" and her best friend aren't kids anymore. Let them have their fun tonight.
Plus you're still drunk enough so that trying to claim moral high ground on them would likely backfire.

You start musing about how they're having as little luck with boys as you're with women. While you can't say you're sorry that your little sister doesn't seem to be able to have a relationship lasting longer than a few weeks, she's your innocent "baby sister" after all, you still think it would be nice for her to find a guy that made her happy for a while for once. Not "too happy" of course, cause then you'd have to break every last fucking bone in that bastard's body.

Come to think of it, you don't recall hearing something about a new boyfriend or even "some hot guy" from either your sister or Sam for months now. That's odd, seeing that they went through short-lived boyfriends and crushes at an damn nearly alarming rate in the past. Well, they're probably just fed up with jerkasses trying to shove their tongues down their throats. A change that's gonna let you sleep a lot easier at night, as you won't have to worry about Carly sneaking out at night to do something stupid with some horny asshole she met two weeks ago or something.

You finish the sandwich and get up with a sigh. This night was long enough. You decide to check on the girls to let them know you're back before finally going to bed. You head for the stairs and go upstairs. Arriving at the top you see the door to Carly's room is slightly ajar. You get a glimpse of the inside. You're raising your arm to knock and announce your return when your brain processes what it is seeing inside the room and spontaneously shuts down, leaving you once again frozen on the spot.


Thoughts after writing:

This looks shorter than I expected.
It probably shows that my English skills are a bit rusty.
And that I have no idea how to construct a story or how to keep people in character.
At least it is out of my head now...

Not sure about the genre and rating...

So, what do you think? What rookie mistakes did step right into?

Anyone interested in seeing how this continues?
What did Spencer see? (Yeah, that's gonna be a surprise...)