Alive
Chapter 1: Escape
When I wake the only thing I can feel is the numbness in my back and the soreness on my limbs from sleeping on the cold, hard floor. I've been beaten too many times to be able to feel the excruciating pain it used to bring. Now it's just numb.
I sit up and look to the other side of the room where my parents and Uriah are huddled together, whispering god knows what to each other.
I know, I was shocked too. I thought I was dead at first but I'm not. I'm alive. They're alive. We've just been held captive for the last two years. In the Bureau. David, the person who shot me is the one who held us captive. We've been trying to escape, but we haven't been able to. He's been beating us, sending us through fear simulations, torturing us, and doing other things to us since we got here. I've been getting the worse treatment. We only get one meal a day and we're all skinny as hell, sometimes I wonder why we're still alive.
Especially me.
I've lost the most blood since we got here, and I've been given less to eat. But at times the three people I am captivated with give me some of their food.
My parents were the first ones here. Then Uriah. Then me.
Things have happened.
Horrible.
Terrible.
Things.
Mostly to me.
"What are you guys talking about?" I ask.
The room we are in is a clinical white colour. There are no beds or anything to sit on, all we have is the floor, the four walls and each other.
There are blood splatters on the walls. There are blood puddles on the floor. All dried up and horrible. There is puddles of puke as well. Two covered piles in a corner to hide some of the bad memories.
They don't clean this place.
Ever.
The blood just brings back all the memories.
Most of it is my blood.
"We're escaping today." My dad says.
"Really?" I question hopefully.
I want to go home.
I want to see him.
Tobias.
I need him.
I know he thinks I'm dead.
But I need him.
I love him.
I have never stopped loving him.
I never will stop loving him.
"Yeah, we have a plan sorted out. But you aren't doing anything, okay." Uriah informs me.
I just nod.
"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Mum says, concerned.
"Numb. When are we getting out of here?"
"As soon as someone opens the door."
That means as soon as someone comes to get one of us for our daily torture, most likely me, or someone comes with our daily meal, but that doesn't happen until night time.
…
I don't know how long has passed of us sitting there, talking. But as we do all I can think about is going home. Seeing Tobias again.
I've told my parents about him. They love him without having met him, yet.
But I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him everything that has happened to me. Or if he has moved on. Or if he still loves me. Or wants me. I don't even know if he lives in the same apartment as he used to.
All I know is that I need him.
I love him.
I get nightmares all the time.
I have scars and bruises lining my body.
A lot of what I've been through involves him.
The door bursts open and two guards enter, making their way over to me.
My three companions rise and start beating them, which shocks me.
I know my mum and Uriah used to be Dauntless but my dad wasn't. Sure, he shot a few people during the war but he's never beaten anybody.
Soon the guards are unconscious and my mum helps me stand.
Then… we run.
My mum and Uriah took the guns the guards had on them so they shoot every other guard we come across.
My dad helps me because I still have fresh wounds that haven't healed properly.
We get out of the building and run to the nearest truck, which has the key in the ignition, luckily.
My parents and I get in the back and Uriah drives, somehow remembering the way back to the city.
Our old home.
On the way my mum moves me so I'm on my front and she lifts up my gown, which is the only thing I'm wearing.
My dad gets the first aid kit that is in every truck and they clean my wounds that have never been cleaned or bandaged before, because no one has given us anything to do it with.
They have wounds too, but not as many as I have.
They bandage me up and help me sit again.
My mum finds some food and water and we all take sips of the refreshing drink, even Uriah, my mum helps him as he is driving as fast as he can back to the city. We also nibble on the food, my mum helping Uriah again.
She's become like a mum to him, and my dad like a dad. We've been together through so much that we're like a family.
"Sweetie, do you mind if we check your other wounds on the way?" Mum asks me.
By other wounds she means the ones that aren't on my back. The ones that are on my arms and legs, my stomach, my chest, I have a scar along my forehead as well.
I just nod and she starts with my arms and legs. Cleaning every scar, both new and old, and bandaging the ones that need the cover.
Then she lifts up my top again, showing the scars on the front of my body.
I look down and realise I'm too skinny. You can see my ribs too clearly, and my collar bones, my stomach is too small. But my tattoos are fine. They're still intact.
There are scars everywhere.
She cleans them and bandages the ones that need it before pulling my top back down and giving me something else to eat.
…
I don't know how long we have been driving for when Uriah stops the truck.
I look outside and see that we are outside the Dauntless compound.
I get out of the truck and run in the directions of Tobias' old apartment.
It is night time. No one is around in the Pit or anywhere.
I just run.
I know the others are following me, I can hear their footsteps and them calling my name, loudly, but quietly so they don't wake anyone.
I stop outside of his apartment and just stand there.
Not knowing what to do but also knowing.
Knowing what to do.
Knowing that he will probably hate me.
Knowing that he probably doesn't love me anymore.
Knowing he probably has someone else in his life.
Knowing he's going to be shocked to see all of us here, alive, when we're supposed to be dead.
Knowing he will want answers that I don't know I can give him, yet.
The others join me and I knock, weakly on the door.
I feel weak and I know that some of my scars are bleeding from all the running.
I expect him not to answer.
But he opens the door.
He looks at us.
Shocked.
"Tris?" He says after a few seconds.
He looks the same. Apart from the tear-stained cheeks. The blood shot eyes, which are still the same deep blue as they were last time I saw him. He's only two years older.
I start to feel weaker.
"Tobias." I whisper before I fall to my knees and all I can see is black.
Tobias' POV:
Tris falls to the floor and I catch her, putting an arm around her shoulder and another under her knees.
I rush her to my bed and lay her on it gently.
I hear the door shut and I see three people walk in, three people I didn't realise were there before.
Natalie Prior, Andrew Prior and Uriah Pedrad.
"Why are you all alive?" I question, still shocked to find these four people alive on my doorstep. One of them being the love of my life.
They all look different though. They're all skinnier and covered in scars. But Tris, my Tris looks the worst. She's still beautiful but she's the skinniest, and has way more scars than they do, if it's not scars then its bandages. Hardly any skin is visible.
"Tobias, how about we sort Tris out then we'll explain everything to you, I swear." Natalie says.
I nod and Natalie and Andrew turn Tris so she is on her stomach, Uriah leaves the room.
They lift up her gown, which is the only thing she's wearing and there is a large bandage on her back which blood is seeping through.
The peel it off and the sight makes me want to cry.
There are more scars on her back than there are on mine. I can see the line where her spine is because she's so skinny. Too skinny.
They clean her up and re-bandage her before pulling her gown down.
"Wait, she can change into a shirt of mine. She needs something clean and comfortable." I say.
They nod and I get a shirt from my drawer, its dark grey and is long enough to fit on her as a night gown.
I give it to Natalie, along with some boxers so that Tris can cover up, and she changes Tris into them, as she does I see more and more scars covering her stomach and chest, her arms and legs. Everywhere.
I notice that as Natalie pulls the t-shirt over Tris' stomach that she rubs it sadly, twice. Why would she rub her stomach?
When she's done she pulls the comforter over Tris and they walk out of the room after kissing her forehead.
I just keep looking at Tris, in shock.
The person I love has been hurt and I wasn't there for her, to help her.
I sit next to her on the bed and take her small, skinny hand in mine. I kiss her lips gently.
"I'm sorry." I whisper to her before standing and joining the three other not dead people in the living room. They are sitting on the large sofa together so I sit on the single arm chair.
"Tell me everything." I instruct.
"We'll tell you what Tris wants us to tell you. In her own time, she'll tell you the rest." Andrew says.
I nod.
They tell me how after they 'died', Natalie and Andrew, they woke up and David told them they were being held captive for the rest of their lives. He started beating them and sending them through fear simulations. They were only allowed one small meal a day. They explain about how Uriah joined them and David started doing the same to him. Then Tris joined them and she was the one who got the worst treatment. She was fed less. Beaten more. Tortured more. She went through a lot more than any of them did. They've been trying to get out for ages but things held them back. They were caught on some occasions, but this time it worked and they're free. They tell me Tris has been through so much and she needs me to be there for her. They talk about how she was always talking about me and they thank me for looking after her for them.
I know they're hiding something.
Something big.
I can sense it.
"What are you hiding?"
"Tris will tell you in her own time, Tobias. She's scared. She's been through so, so much. More than any eighteen year old should have to go through. She needs you to be patient with her, she will tell you." Andrew says.
"I want to know so I can help her. What's so big that you can't tell me?"
"Four, man, just…"
"No, I want to know. I need to know what happened to her. I thought she was dead but instead she's been tortured for two years and I wasn't there with her. Please just tell me." I cut Uriah off, I have tears in my eyes.
I need to know.
I need to know everything.
"Wait, I saw earlier, when you were changing her, you rubbed her stomach twice. What does that mean?" I ask as the tears start to pour down my cheeks.
Natalie looks like she's going to cry as well, all of them do.
Something bad happened.
I know it did.
"Tell me!" I practically yell.
"Tobias…" I hear Tris say.
I turn and find her standing in the doorway of my bedroom. She's crying.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to know what David put you through. So I can try and help. I've gone two years without you, I missed you, so, so much. I just…"
"I know. I missed you, too. Can you come in here, please?" She asks quietly.
I nod. I tell the others they can stay here tonight, that there is a spare room and some spare blankets in the cupboard down the hall so one of them can sleep on the sofa.
I walk into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I lead Tris back to the bed and we sit on it, her back against the headboard and my side against it so I can face her.
She's still crying.
What did that bastard put her through?
"I'll tell you what they won't tell you. I told them not to tell you so I can do it in person. You know about the beatings, the fear landscapes, the torture… but there's some other things you need to know."
"You don't have to tell me now. I just want to be able to help you."
"I have to tell you now. If I don't, then I don't know if I ever will…"
"Take your time."
She nods.
"You know in the Bureau, when we had… you know what-"
I nod.
"Three weeks after I arrived in the cell I started puking, and I missed my period. My mum suggested that I could be pregnant, and that I should try and hold the sick in because if David found out then bad things would happen. So I did. I held the sick in. Nine weeks later I started getting a bump, so I realised I was actually pregnant. I was kinda happy because I'd have something to remember you by if I never made it out. But, two weeks later the gown couldn't hide my bump anymore, David found out… he stabbed me, in the stomach, in front of my parents and Uriah, and the baby… died. They never cleaned the room we were in so there was blood everywhere, and our baby was in the corner of the room. Small and lifeless. Covered in blood. I couldn't handle it so my dad had to rip off a piece of his gown to cover the baby up, so we didn't have to see him or her. But they were still there, and we knew that…"
I'm crying.
We're both crying.
I was going to be a father and he killed our baby.
"There's more…" She says, trailing off.
How can there be more?
He's put her more than just killing her child? Our child?
That fucking bastard!
I'm going to kill him.
"About a month after I lost our baby he started getting random men, most of them were guards, to… rape me. Without protection. It wasn't long before I got pregnant again. I was so angry. I couldn't handle it. But David, he let the child live throughout the nine months you're supposed to be pregnant. I knew he was planning something. I knew that he was going to make me even angrier. I knew he was going to break me even more than he already had. I went into labour, my parents and Uriah were the only ones who helped me through it. It lasted hours but as soon as I had the baby in my arms David rushed in, he took my child out of my arms and slit its throat right in front of us. He dropped her to the floor and left. I realised he only let the baby live that long to break me, so it wasn't your children I would give birth to. Or my first child birth would be because a guy raped me and not because I had sex with the man I love. And it did break me. I'm broken, Tobias. And I don't know what to do." She sobs.
I wrap her in my arms, also crying. She clutches the shirt I am wearing in her hand and sobs into me.
"It's okay. You're free now. I'm going to look after you. I'm sorry. I love you. I've always loved you. I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you again. I promise."
I keep saying soothing things to her.
At least I think they're soothing.
She's gone through too much that I don't know if she can ever get back to the way she used to be, before the war.
But I'm going to be here for her. Every step of the way. Through everything.
She's been beaten. Tortured. Sent through way too many fear landscapes. She's lost two children, one of which was mine. And I wasn't there for her.
She's only eighteen years old.
She shouldn't have to go through all of that stuff.
She's so young.
She's so brave.
I love her.
I'm going to look after her.
Protect her.
Make sure nothing bad ever happens to her again.
And I'm going to kill David.
Even if it's the last thing I do.
Hey Ravens, so this was meant to be two chapters but I thought I'd make a really long chapter instead.
I hope you liked it.
I will update again as soon as I can.
Please review!
