So I was rummaging through Tumblr and saw a gif set of Carl's and Sophia's friendship and just couldn't help myself. I don't own The Walking Dead, believe me, you would have seen hell tons of Caryl if I did!


They have forgotten her.

Life keeps going on, and with all the deaths the group has had to cope with it's a little hard to remember every single person fallen every day since the beginning. He knows it. Still, it hurts him to see no one seems to remember her at least once in a while.

Carl recall's listening to Michonne bringing up Andrea at times, which irremediably makes Glenn or even his dad mention Amy. Sometimes Glenn tells a 'piece of wisdom' he thought Dale would say and Maggie tends to complete it with any words that would've been Hershel's.

Whenever someone starts singing, the ones that knew Beth comments on how beautiful her voice was, T-Dog's name is spoken when they talk about bravery and loyalty, and sometimes that leads to the mention of Jacquie.

Sasha is not fond of the reminder of her brother, she says it's still too fresh and Spencer agrees with her whenever someone mentions Deanna. Daryl at times murmurs Merle's name when he's back from hunting or a scavenge in his bike.

His mother is often brought to light whenever Judith hits a milestone in her short life, just not around his father. Hell, even Shane gets to be remembered when things get wild.

But not her, not his friend. Carl seems to be the only one who thinks of her, not even her mother says her name (but to be fair, he can understand why she doesn't, it would be way too painful).

Carl can see her everywhere, even if he doesn't ever mention it.

When he sees a doll. When he sees white flowers. When he remembers the farm. When he remembers the long list of names options for his sister… Sometimes when he sees Enid.

Her short auburn hair, her shy voice, her gentle personality, her beautiful eyes… her milky, bloodshot eyes.

It's an understatement to say that Carl misses her, even after so long. He still feels the pang of guilt once in a while, when he manages to convince himself she would still be alive if he got her to stay under the car with him.

Whenever he's feeling lonely and happens to have a moment of peace he likes to imagine how she would look like now, with longer hair and inches taller… her body no longer the one of a kid but a teen's… how she would see him, the feel of her hand in his.

Carl can imagine himself teaching her how to shoot, making patrols with her, even if Carol didn't approve of it at first. He can picture her helping him with Judith, working with him on the crops, going to him for comfort after a rough night of sleep, smiling, laughing, breathing.

He remembers his almost-kiss with Enid in the woods and how he pictured Sophia's face in front of him, exactly the reason why he pulled apart. He knew the pain would've been unbearable when he opened his eyes and found the brunette instead.

Carl thinks of her when he sees Glenn and Maggie, imagines they could've been like that… it didn't matter if they were just kids, the end of the world makes you long for that right company more than anything else.

It didn't matter that he was only twelve when he felt that clique with the shy and timid girl. He didn't know if he could call it love, nor he would ever get to find out.

"Sophia" he sighs longingly, mournfully… affectionately. He's not surprised when the name goes through his lips without him noticing, he often talks to her. "You would've loved this place… even though I know going through all those herds of walkers would've scared you outta your mind… but I could protect you…"

He wonders if this is how his father feels when he remembers his mother, if it's anything alike what Sasha goes through when she's reminded of Bob.

"Sophia…"

Did it hurt like losing a lover, even though she was never his? Carl was too embarrassed to ask any of those who had gone through it, how could he compare their losses to his? He could never understand them and they would never understand him.

Perhaps it was only the feeling of losing his first friend on the new world, perhaps he did love her with all the might a twelve-year-old had at the time.

Perhaps he began loving her after she was gone, with all the might a fifteen-year-old had to love a girl who was dead long ago.


What do you think? I've been writing TWD fanfic for a while now but this is my first one to upload! Opinions? God bless you all!

~Charlie